And All That Jazz
by hoshiko2kokoro
Summary: Alfred is approached by the Student Body President, Arthur, for help on his math exam. They hate each other, but maybe opposites can attract with the help of something unexpected. Christmas gift for my friend.
1. Chapter 1

Mathematics was something I've never been very good at. I hate admitting I'm ever bad at anything, seeing as I'm the Student Body President. I have quite a reputation to uphold. So I've always been grateful for my friend, Kiku. Every week we would work on my math homework. In exchange, I helped Kiku with his English. There was nothing worse to a Japanese man with more pride than me than having trouble saying L's and V's. Today, however, Kiku had come to me with bad news.

"What do you mean you can't help?" I asked. We were standing in the cafeteria and hadn't quite gotten to our seats just yet. I had stopped in the middle of the room, tray still in hand, when Kiku had broken the news to me.

Kiku looked down, fidgeting with his hands. He never bought food from school. "I'm sorry. My older brother is in town and I have to see him."

I raised an eyebrow. "Isn't he your half-brother?"

"Yes," Kiku replied with a nod. "But he lives in China. It's a big event he's visiting. Please understand, Arthur."

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. I hated to sound so desperate, but there was an important exam approaching. I had to keep up good marks in order to stay the president. "Can't you do something?"

Kiku looked around. He smiled slightly. "Maybe you can ask someone else for help."

"Who?"

"Maybe Alfred?"

I looked over to where Kiku was looking. A blonde boy with an infuriating cowlick was sitting at a nearby table. As always, his uniform was completely disrespectful and he was breaking rules. I counted three broken rules. He had a PSP in one hand, his headphones on, and a cell phone sitting out right on the table.

I turned back to Kiku, unimpressed. "That isn't help. That's a walking write-up."

"He's better at math than I am," Kiku started. He kept smiling at me as if I could be won over.

Instead, I shook my head. "I think I'll pass."

Kiku returned his attention to Alfred. It was a rather well-known fact that Alfred and I have never gotten along. He's far too rebellious and disrespectful for me. Just looking at him always set me off. Couldn't he have some sense of pride and respect for the school that taught him? Or even himself? To see his tie undone, his collar unbuttoned, and his pants constantly hanging low just proved he was a punk. He was even reclined in his chair with his shoes up on the chair opposite him. I could feel my hands itching to fix his attire. Either that or knock away that disgusting plate of greasy fries in front of him.

I, on the other hand, was the prime example of our school and uniform. Sure, my hair was always a little messy and my eyebrows were a little too big to be considered cute, but I had an image to uphold and couldn't possibly be seen with a hooligan like Alfred F. Jones.

"I can't be seen with a boy like that," I hissed at Kiku. "Surely there is someone else."

"Well…" Kiku looked over to another table nervously. "There is Ivan…"

"I'll pass," I replied flatly. Sighing, I had to accept my fate. Ivan may have been good at math, but he was torturous to be around for more than a few minutes. My tutoring lasted at least an hour. There was no way I'd be with that chilly Russian. "I guess I have no choice…"

"Alfred is my best friend, you know," Kiku said. I stared at him in shock. "We've been close since middle school. He's really nice once you get to know him."

"How did such a nice chap like you and that…that _boy_ become friends?" I shot another glare Alfred's way. The American paid me no attention as he was completely absorbed in his game.

Kiku gave a small smile. "They say opposites attract…"

"That's preposterous." Nevertheless, I headed over to Alfred. Maybe we could get started today. I was a firm believer of preparing early. That and I didn't want these tutoring lessons to go on for longer than they had to. Just until Kiku was back.

I sat down across from Alfred, next to his feet. "Okay, here's the deal. I know we don't see exactly eye to eye, but I need your help. I have a math exam in a week. If you can tutor me until Kiku is free again, I will not enforce the dress code laws on you…often. Sound good to you?" Alfred was nodding his head. I smiled slightly. "Good. Shall we plan out times to meet now?"

Again, Alfred nodded his head. I guess I was a bit too harsh on the lad. He was awfully cooperative with me and hadn't questioned my reasons. Usually the junior would make some harsh comments about my unsightly eyebrows. I plucked them daily and yet I still get picked on for them.

"Right then. What days and times work best for you?" Alfred said nothing. He merely continued to keep nodding. I furrowed my brow. I waved my hand in front of his face causing him to snap his head up in surprise

He pulled off his headphones, looking around with his eyes slowly. "Can I help you?"

"Did you hear a word of what I've been saying?" I asked, my voice slightly rose in anger.

Alfred rolled his eyes. "Yeah. It was about my clothes again, wasn't it? Look I'll-"

"It wasn't about that!" I snapped. My face heated up in embarrassment. Did I always do that?

Alfred's blue eyes widened in surprise. He even sat up, removing his shoes from the chair. "Whoa, what? What's up?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" I crossed my arms, looking at him accusingly.

"Dude, we haven't talked about _normal_ things in years. It's always my clothes or my eating habits or you just want to bitch me out." Alfred looked disinterested. He returned to playing his game, but he still had his headphones off. Quickly, he pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose.

I narrowed my eyes. I could feel the anger in me swelling, but I had to control myself. Was my grade really worth it? Yes, I told myself. Yes it was. "I…need your help."

Alfred paused his game, looking up in surprise again. Then he looked around the cafeteria quickly. "Okay!" he shouted. I jumped slightly. "Who's pulling a prank on me? Ivan, is it you? Commie bastard!"

I held up my hands as my face heated up again. "Sh! Alfred! No one's pranking you! Please be quiet you moron!"

Alfred looked back to me, his eyes narrowed. "What's going on? Really. Why do you need _my_ help? Don't you hate me?"

"Hate is a rather strong word, Alfred," I started. I fixed my uniform, pretending to not notice the other students staring at our table now. I could only imagine the gossip going around at this very second. But no matter. "I may strongly dislike you as well as find myself on the other end of the spectrum with your habits, but that does not mean I hate you."

"Whatever." Alfred waved his hand. He pulled a soda from his book bag. For some reason, he stuck a straw in it and began to slurp it.

I looked at the straw, confused. "How old are you? 5?"

"For your information, soda is bad for your teeth. As long as you don't get it on your teeth, they won't rot." Alfred smiled to show off teeth I was, regrettably, impressed by. I could feel my own lips curving around my teeth in envy. I didn't have the stereotypical British teeth, but they weren't as shiny as Alfred's were.

"Soda is bad for you in general, no matter how you drink it." I held up a hand. "We're getting off topic. I'm asking for your help in math. I am…not terribly good at it."

A long egotistical smirk slid across the blonde's face. Oh boy, I bet his head was growing ten times its size. Oh to hear his enemy praise him. It probably brought him the most joy. "What do I get in return?"

"I won't write you up for your dress code malfunctions." Alfred raised an eyebrow. "Well, not often."

Alfred let his head fall back, letting out the loudest laugh he could muster. I blushed again as more people looked over. Suddenly, the junior sat forward in his chair. "You know what? You're all right. I'll help ya if you don't write me up. Maybe this ain't so bad.

I twitched slightly. "Isn't."

"Huh?"

"There is no such word as 'ain't'. The correct word is 'isn't," I said. I hated when people abused the English language. It was well known for its rules. Rules are meant to be followed.

Alfred rolled his eyes again. "Whatever. So when do ya wanna get this show started?"

I quickly pulled out my schedule book, opening the pages to today. "I was hoping after school today. I want to get this over with as quickly as I can. I have a lot of important matters to attend do during the week."

"Like cross-stitch and calligraphy?" Alfred joked.

"Cross-stitching and calligraphy are considered art forms," I started. I wrote on a spare piece of paper, ripping it out from the back. I handed it over to Alfred. "This is the time and place where we shall meet today."

The bell rang. I looked down at my food, slightly sad I hadn't had the chance to eat it. But my grades were far more important. Alfred looked up at me, a slight frown on his face. "Are you sure you want to do this? I mean, once we start, I won't let you quit."

Ah, is that a challenge? I smiled haughtily. "I assure you, I never back down and I never quit."

Alfred smiled brightly back at me. He stood and I followed suit. Suddenly, he stuck his hand out to me. I shook his hand gingerly. He had a firm grip. I tried to match his, but he shook so vigorously I was nearly caught off guard.

"I'll see you after school," Alfred said. I could only nod back at his enthusiasm.

* * *

I looked up at the clock anxiously. It was two minutes past the time I had arranged for Alfred and me to meet. The student body meeting room was rather eerie when empty. The glow from the setting sun behind me bathed the room in orange and red colors. But I could care less for the beauty from the sunset. That blasted boy was late.

The door slammed open suddenly. Alfred was standing with his back straight and his bright smile on his face. "Hey there eyebrows!"

I barked, "Sit down you dolt! You're two minutes late!"

"Geez, forgive me for saying good-bye to my brother." Alfred tossed his book bag on the table, making a loud clatter, and then sat in the chair across from me. He leaned back so the front legs were off the ground. I watched warily. "So where do we start?"

Shaking my head, I looked to Alfred. "Well, I'm sure my math is a little hard for you as I am a grade higher than you, but perhaps you'll understand it faster than I do."

I pulled my math book from my bag, placing it neatly on the table. Alfred leaned forward and smiled. "Oh, I remember this book! I took this class last year."

My jaw dropped open. "What do you mean? This is senior math."

"Yeah, but I'm in AP Math," Alfred replied, looking at me over the rim of his glasses. His eyes looked so much bluer without the glass covering them. I stopped myself in mid thought when I looked down at his jaw. It was moving furiously. And he wasn't talking.

"Are you…chewing gum…?" I asked slowly.

"Yeah? What of it? You said you weren't going to write me up."

"Not in your attire, yes, but that did not include any other misconduct you've committed." I scowled at him. Could he really be so bold as to chew gum in front of me and think he could get away with it?

"My God, you know a lot of big words." Alfred took the gum out of his mouth. I scrunched up my face in disgust. The red blob sat on the tip of his finger with a bit of his saliva still on it. "Want me to get rid of it?"

"Yes, that would be nice." Alfred proceeded to stick it under the table. My eyes bugged out. "What was that?"

"What?" Alfred opened the math book, not really paying me any attention.

I pointed at where he had stuck the gum. "THAT! WHAT YOU DID JUST THEN! You get that off of there and dispose of it properly!"

Alfred looked up from the book with his eyes. A slow smile crept on his face. "Man, I bet you're a great drunk."

"H-huh?" Where had that come from?

"Come on, dude. I wanna go home as badly as you do. Let's get to work already." Alfred stretched back in his chair. His messy shirt moved up to reveal his tan skin under the belt of where his pants should properly be. I looked away quickly, flushing slightly.

"Yes. But first, there are a few rules. I want us to finish this tutoring session as quickly as possible, with no rap or flash dancing. Understand?" I moved to grab my notes.

Alfred pulled out his own. "Luckily, I still had my old notes. We can use these to go over the shit you don't know."

I looked at his notes, slightly touched that Alfred had actually brought notes to help me. Then I saw his atrocious handwriting. No matter. As long as they were eligible then- "What is this?"

Alfred leaned over to look at his notes. "What? You mean a Unit Circle?"

"No! This sorry excuse of English! You can_not_ spell and my God, what is this? Do you not know the difference between to, too, and two?" I squawked, waving my hand over the notes. "I can't read this mess."

"Dude, chill out. What are you, Monk or something?" Alfred leaned back in his chair. "Who the hell cares? They're my notes."

"What's your grade in English?" I asked sternly.

Alfred couldn't meet my gaze. "Er…"

I smiled knowingly. "It seems we've come upon a new dilemma. Instead of the previous agreement, I propose we make a new one."

"No," Alfred said quickly. He held up a finger. "Nuh uh. I like our first one. You will not tutor me in English."

"But it works out so brilliantly this way." I smiled. Alfred looked at me. It almost looked as if he was trying to not look at my smile, but that was ridiculous. "This way, I can still keep doing my duty, your dressing habits will improve, and we can both advance in our studies."

"I like how I dress," Alfred whined.

"Alfred," I started slowly. I looked at him seriously, but a smile was on my face. "Colleges don't just look at the good grades in your math and science classes. They look at your English grades too. Even those math and science specialty colleges."

* * *

It was more than an hour later that I stood up to stretch. Alfred was cracking his neck as he yawned loudly. "Well, that went better than I thought it would."

"Yeah," Alfred said with a smile. He stood up, grabbing his notes. "And you're not that bad at math. You catch on quick enough. Just take some patience."

"Yes, well. Kiku has been helping me for quite some time now." I tidied up my side of the table as well.

"It's surprising you're not good at math. You love rules and that's basically all this stuff is about."

I looked over at Alfred, again, slightly touched. I wasn't sure why, but I smiled a little bit more. "Yes well, the same could be said for you with English. You are rather talented at math. I must admit I have underestimated you."

"Aw, thanks dude!" Alfred slung his book bag around his shoulder. He stopped and looked at me. "You know, you're kinda cute. Are you and that French dude dating?"

My face heated up worse than I'd ever felt before. But not from being called cute. Oh hell no, I'd never admit to that. It was for Alfred even _thinking_ I was dating Francis. "H-HOW DARE YOU THINK I'M DATING THAT FROG! HONESTLY! I hate that bloody moron! He's horrific!"

Alfred laughed. The one where his head rolled back and his voice echoed off the wall. "Ah, so it's true! You really are gay!"

"I beg your pardon!" I stumbled away from the table. I certainly had told no one of my sexuality, even if Alfred was only half right.

"It's been a little rumor going around. I thought it was just because people were mad you're such a tight-ass or something, but I guess it's true." Alfred held up his finger. "I could tell because you never denied that it was a man, just that it was Francis."

I looked down at my feet. Damn he was cunning. With him knowing my sexuality, that could possibly mean he had blackmail on me. That meant he had the upper hand. I hated that. He was a year younger than me and I was the Student Body President. If he told anyone of my sexuality, I would never win another election, not to mention ever get a date with a man or a female.

I was such a nervous wreck that I didn't notice him approach me. He was standing next to me when he kissed me lightly on the cheek. I jumped back, my hand on my red hot face. I couldn't even talk correctly. Alfred just chuckled.

"Yup. Definitely cute. See ya tomorrow."

I watched as he left, still unable to say anything. After Alfred was far gone, I sunk to the floor. That bastard had just given me my first cheek kiss, if there was such a title. I wasn't sure what to do next. Oh wait, I was scheduled to have an English tutoring session with Alfred tomorrow. And I never did turn down a challenge and I couldn't quit.

So tomorrow would have to come.

* * *

_Hoshiko2_'s cents: MERRY CHRISTMAS KANTA! I WUV YOU!  
Ah, this was so much fun to write, actually. I was bored shitless at work and had a new notebook I got for Christmas and the thing is half filled with this fanfic. Haha. I can't believe how fast it came out.

Show of hands at how many of you have corrected someone in their sentence mid-way through. *Raises my own.* :3

Expect chapter 2 in a few days! Please leave me a nice review too! :3


	2. Chapter 2

I didn't sleep well that night. I was terrified that my last tutoring session with Alfred would proceed into something more. Or even worse. That Alfred would use my sexuality against me. Still, I had to admit, it was really all that dumb kiss' fault. I kept rolling around in bed that night, remembering how Alfred had gotten so close without me even noticing. How warm his lips felt. How much my heart was pounding and that was the real reason I was unable to sleep.

Stop, I told myself. You're thinking far too much on this situation. It was just a kiss. A harmless kiss. Alfred wasn't even bisexual.

No, Alfred was far from that. While I never normally went to American football games, there were times I would go out of morbid curiosity. I planned to go to joke about it with my Portuguese friend and how it couldn't stand up to the real football of the world. However, I realized how Alfred was a nice art form to admire. Such a neatly formed body that he loved to show off in front of the cheerleaders or his fans. There was no way he'd look at a guy like me.

And yet, he had kissed my cheek.

"AH!" I shouted as I slammed the pillow on my face. "Just go to bed you idiot!"

* * *

When the bell rang for lunch, I quickly rushed to the table Kiku and I would sit at. I didn't even glance at Alfred's table. If we made eye contact, it might give him the idea that he could come over and sit with me. I had to remain calm. This wasn't like me. I was getting far too riled up for no reason. Lunch was going smoothly; there were no calls of my name from across the cafeteria or anyone approaching to upset my relaxation time.

I sighed as Kiku finally took a seat next to me. "Alfred told me yesterday went over well."

I coughed quickly to hide the sudden surprise that jumped into my heart. I smiled over at Kiku nervously. "O-oh? He did, did he? Well, that's wonderful to hear. Yes, I thought it was quite nice as well. Did…did he mention anything else to you?"

Kiku shook his head. His lunch that he had always prepared was already finished. "No, not really. He mentioned you're going to tutor him in English. He joked that you might start making him using random U's in the wrong places."

"Random U's?" I yelped. "How dare he? They are not random!"

Kiku laughed into his hand. "Alfred figured you'd say something like that. He said you haven't changed since you two were in middle school."

My face felt hot again. I had almost forgotten that we had met so long ago, but it wasn't until I became Student Body President that I paid him more attention. It was around the same time that he started dressing so inappropriately as if to upset me on purpose. He was never as bad when I was only the Vice President the year prior. However, Kiku had once spoken about Alfred being upset with his home life and acted out at school sometimes, but he never mentioned it again.

But I wasn't thinking of such times. Rather, I was awfully bothered that Alfred was already guessing my reactions. I stood up, marched over to Alfred's table, and slammed my hands before him. There would be no way he would ignore me with the loud music today.

Alfred looked up in surprise again. He took off his headphones quickly and flashed me a smile. It only managed to make me narrow my eyes. "What's up?"

"What is this?" I started.

"Lunch time?" Alfred's smile grew impossibly wider suddenly. "Or did you expect me to say Sparta?"

I seethed at him. "Enough with your prattle! Where do you get off figuring how I would react? We hang out for one day and you think you can start acting like my friend?"

Alfred raised an eyebrow at me. He probably thought I was being ridiculous. I thought so too. I had no idea why I was so upset over such a trivial matter. I blamed that blasted kiss from the previous day. For that, I kept looking at the blonde's lips, only to snap my eyes away.

"For the record, I've been 'figuring' how you'd react for a few months now." Alfred shrugged as he stood up, preparing for the bell to ring in a moment. "Last I checked, this is a free country, so I can do that. Also, I didn't say anything about being friends or our tutoring session being a 'hang out' time."

I could feel all of my embarrassment rushing to my face and pure humiliation settling in my gut. He was right, I knew he was as I stomped over like a child. Still, I lashed out like so. I continued to glare at Alfred, though, until he smiled again. This time it looked more devious.

"…Unless you want to be friends and actually hang out some time," he said merrily.

I scoffed, turning away. "Don't be silly. We will continue these lessons until Kiku is available to help and that is all. I do have a reputation to uphold."

The bell rang and the other students got up to head off to class. Alfred had been silent and, for a moment, I feared he had just walked away as well. I couldn't blame him. I had been unreasonably rude.

I chanced a glance over to see him still standing across the table from me. However, his usual cocky grin had changed to a rather sad grimace. "Oh, yeah… Ok. Right. That was the agreement. Right, well, see you after school then."

Watching Alfred leave, I felt a weight drop on my shoulders. I had gone and upset the boy without needing to. But it was his fault. If he hadn't kissed my cheek yesterday I would've gotten more sleep and been in more control of my emotions. But even as I headed to class and took down notes, I couldn't help but think of that sad expression on his face. He wasn't frazzled when I had yelled at him. No, he just laughed it off and tried to make it a joke. Surprisingly I had felt my anger die down and had just become more upset with myself for my immature behavior. So then why did he look so downcast?

The bell rang suddenly and I was snapped out of my reserve. I looked around to see the other students leaving, excited to go home. I imagined they didn't feel so guilty, nor did they have trouble giving an apology.

I walked to the Student Body office to wait for Alfred. I figured he would be a little late again so I took the long way around. I smiled faintly as I neared the music room. It had been two years since I had last gone in to take a class, but the memories were always wonderful. My peer, Roderich, had first suggested I play a year of piano after I mentioned that I used to play when I was a child. It wasn't anything special. My mother had recorded me at Christmas parties or grade school performances. I thought it was more like I was just randomly hitting keys with a bright child's smile on my face, but Roderich's pressure had led me to pursue just a year.

How I wish I could have continued playing. I never performed in public despite Roderich's pleas that I do just once. While I had received so many compliments from my peers and the teacher, I was never comfortable with the idea. It was a time I could let down my guard and not think about the world. There were no rules, no responsibilities, and no expectations. I was just a seventeen year old boy playing music.

I neared the music room and stopped when I heard a saxophone echoing down the hallway. I assumed that the class was running a little longer than normal, but couldn't help my curiosity. The musician was playing a lovely smooth jazz piece that made me sway on the spot. If only there was a light tap of the drum to back it up and an accompanying piano, the melody would have been complete.

As soon as I started to get into the music, it stopped. I opened my eyes unaware that I was standing by the door lost in a haze. I wanted to get a peak at who had just been playing, but seeing as how I had stage fright myself, I didn't want to impose in case they too were a bit shy.

Just as I prepared to sneak off and get to the office, the door opened next to me. I jumped aside before it could hit me. Looking up to see who had come out, I stopped short.

"A-Alfred?" My eyes were probably bugging out as I pointed at the taller blonde.

The boy stumbled back in surprise. His face was red as he looked at his feet, scratching the back of his head. "Oh! Arthur! Shit, am I late again? Look, you didn't have to come looking for me. I was just finishing up and then I'd be over."

"Was that…you?" I stole a look over his shoulder. There was no one else in the room. He had to have been the last one in there. "Did you play that heavenly song?'

Alfred looked at me, his blue eyes watching me hesitantly over the rim of his glasses. "You think I'm good…?"

"Yes!" I blurted out. "That was beautiful. I had no idea you played the saxophone."

"Yup. Been doing so since I was a kid. Mom wanted me and my bro to play some sort of musical instrument. He was gifted with the fiddle and I got stuck with the saxophone."

"You say that as if it's a bad thing." I couldn't understand why. He was immaculate in his ability.

Alfred looked out the window, his eyes sad again and a grimace back on his face. I was really starting to dislike that expression on him. "Well, that's what my dad says. He doesn't like that I can play it, especially since I like it. I only play at school and I've never performed since I was little. My dad wouldn't like that very much."

"I see…" We were quiet for a moment. I felt awkward, but at the same time, slightly happy. Alfred had honestly just shared a personal story with me whereas the week before we would never have exchanged such an intimate piece. "Shall we get going?"

"Oh right," Alfred said all too quickly. He looked relieved as he gave me another smile. "It's tutoring time!"

The two of us began to walk down the hall together. "That's right, but I'm the one tutoring you."

"Aw, for reals?" Alfred groaned.

"Alfred," I started. "That is not proper English."

"Hey, it's not time to start yet. Give me my last few moments, Grammar Nazi." Alfred laughed at my reaction to such a horrendous nickname. He then put his arm around me. My heart almost skipped a beat, or maybe it just stopped all together. "Still so tense. I thought yesterday would loosen you up a bit."

"Would you stop that?" I pushed away from Alfred, keeping him at arm's length. My face was so warm that I'm sure I was glowing as if I were sick. My eyes skittered to and fro, unable to settle on anything in the hallway. "We are in public."

Alfred sighed, his lower lip sticking out in annoyance. "Right, right. Your reputation. I forgot about that. Sorry, sir."

I straightened my clothes as we entered the office. Once tutoring began there was no more talk of yesterday or anything further. However, it wasn't long before I realized that Alfred was perfectly fine with English, save for his vocabulary skills. It was more like he just chose to ignore the rules. Always ignoring the rules. I wondered what made him do so.

"Alfred," I started, sitting back in my chair. "You know, you're awfully good at this. Why is it then that your text scores are so low?"

The boy shrugged. "I just don't really care. I don't study that much for this subject."

"But why? You don't study for anything unless it interests you, do you?"

Again, a shrug. "Well what's the point? If I don't like it then I don't like it. I have a lot more important things to do during the day than spend my time reading up about Shakespeare or a foreign language or even history when they mean nothing to me. I'd rather focus on math and science. You know, shit that'll be relevant to my future?"

I sighed, slightly frustrated. Alfred was obviously very gifted, but he wasn't using his talent to the best of his abilities. Kiku had mentioned that Alfred was still very good at languages and history, and yet the boy had just stated how they didn't interest him. He wasn't even trying and yet he was still good.

"I just don't understand you." Alfred looked up at me, confused. "You have so much talent and yet you don't use it. Why? You could be so much more."

Alfred stared at me seriously. "So much more than what…?" he slowly asked.

"Than…_this_!" I pointed to Alfred.

The boy's expression remained the same. "You just pointed to all of me."

"Yes, well, you dress rather crudely and your grammar is as atrocious as your motivation, or lack thereof. I just can't understand." I ran my hands through my hair, starting to get upset. "So many people would love to be as gifted as you. You're not even trying and yet you're passing everything you touch, save for English. But even there, you're perfectly fine and yet you just choose to ignore it? Why? I don't understand."

"And I don't understand you." Alfred leaned forward, poking me on the nose. "What does all of this mean in the long run? Really. I mean, when you graduate, will you automatically become the Student Body President at college or do you think it'll have an effect on your life?"

"Yes," I said sternly, straightening my back. "It has already made me a well organized and responsible teenager, ready to face the real world and become an adult."

Alfred started laughing, shaking his head. "But you never said what they'll have on your life. After all of this, did it make you see what you want to do once you _get_ to that outside world?"

My shoulders dropped slightly as realization sunk in. He was right. I had no idea what it was I wanted to do once I graduated. Still, my pride refused to let me back down. "Th-that will come to me once I reach college. Besides, it's none of your business!"

Alfred smirked and stood up. "Then it's none of yours what I do with my life. After all, we're not friends now are we?"

Lunch time's conversation hit me hard. I had come with the intention of apologizing to Alfred for my behavior and yet I had acted so harshly again. Alfred glanced at the clock on the wall and then back to me. He quickly dropped his gaze to the floor, though, and I felt worse.

"I'm going to go. You said I'm good at English so there's no need to tutor me, right?" I could only nod numbly. I dared not speak again. "All right, well, I'm sure you have a lot of…important matters to deal with so I'll see you later."

Again, he left me speechless. And yet, despite my agonizing all day over the kiss, I would much rather have preferred that than to how I felt right now and how I would feel all night long.

* * *

The next few days went without incident. We never spoke outside of what Alfred was tutoring me in aside from meaningless banter and small chit-chat. And yet, oddly enough, I enjoyed our time together more and more every day. After hearing Alfred's wonderful work on the saxophone, I continued to casually walk by the music room, hoping to catch another glimpse of his talent. Sadly, I didn't get that lucky. I think he had caught on after my first time and had avoided practicing after class.

On Friday, my class had gotten out early and I found myself with some spare time on my hand before my meeting with Alfred. I headed towards the music room, wondering if now would be the best time to catch Alfred in the act, but there was no one in the room. My eyes then laid on the piano.

Perhaps a few moments couldn't hurt.

I sneaked inside, hoping to be alone for a few moments when I saw movement out of the corner of my eye. For a moment, I thought it was Alfred. I jumped, startled.

"Oh! Arthur! I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you." My friend, Roderich, was just standing from another piano in the far corner. His impeccably crisp uniform rivaled mine for its perfection. While he exuberated refinement like that of nobility long past, there was always one long brown curl of his that stuck out from his hair. It was just as frustrating to look at as Alfred's own cowlick was.

I sighed in relief. "Oh, Roderich, no it's quite all right. I hope I'm not intruding."

"Intruding?" Roderich asked. "Not at all. You are a musician and are allowed here. You once played so beautifully. Are you thinking of practicing for a little bit?"

I rubbed my arm nervously. "The thought has crossed my mind."

"Then by all means." Roderich waved his hand over to the pianos with a gentle smile to match his soft voice. "I'll leave you be."

I thanked him as he left, but now I was alone in the room and suddenly wished he was back, if only for some company. Now it would seem foolish if I didn't play the piano after inadvertently kicking the man from the room. Still, at least no one was here to hear me play.

I took a seat at the black grand piano that faced me. The music instructor was only allowed to play or Roderich was allowed to play during break. A few memories came back to me and made me smile fondly. Automatically, I could feel my fingers spreading over the keys and, with a sigh, I pressed down onto them. Hearing the first few notes, I let myself go.

The piano always had that affect on me. I could sink into the music, forgetting who I was. If I could get past my stage fright and jump right to when my entire being connected with the music, then I suppose I could perform. Somehow, my mind wandered back to Alfred and how his father looks down on his musical abilities. My tune changed to a minor key to give it that sad sound. I could feel my face turning down to match the mood I had created.

How could a parent not encourage their child in their talent? Alfred certainly enjoyed himself and that was all that mattered. I knew my parents would come to any performance I participated in, but if Alfred put on one, would his parents come? I would make sure to be there for him, if only to be his sole supporter.

I sighed, smiling slightly. Would he like that? While we got along just fine these days I had the hunch he only put up with me as of late because of my agreement to not write him up as much anymore. I worried that once Kiku came back we'd never see each other again. My fingers slipped on the keys and I stopped instantly with a gasp.

My eyes popped open as realization struck me. What was I thinking? Alfred wasn't a friend. Before this week he wasn't anything more than an annoyance. So how had he suddenly become something much more? Did I want to see him afterwards?

"Wow."

I jumped in my seat, turning to look at who had invaded my sanctuary. And there he stood, leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed and a smile on his face. I thought at first he had come to tease me, but Alfred actually looked genuinely amazed at what he had heard. Quickly, I looked at my hands, feet, the piano, the clock, anywhere but Alfred's gaze.

"You can play?" he asked. I almost gave a sarcastic reply, but I bit my tongue and thought better of it. "Dude, that was amazing… You sounded like a pro!"

Slowly, I looked at him with my head bent low. I could see his bright smile through my bangs. "You…you really think so…?"

"Hell yeah!" Alfred came close to me automatically making me shift away. He took a seat next to me. "Have you performed?"

"N-no…," I mumbled. "I…I have stage fright…"

"Really? Aw man, but you have such talent! Now who's the one who's not even trying?" Alfred poked me in the cheek.

I batted his hand away, my face flushing. "It's not that I'm not trying! It's…it's just…"

Alfred leaned in close. I could feel his shoulder touching mine. "You're making up excuses, you know?"

"Oh belt up!" I turned to him, shoving him lightly. "What about you? Aren't you the little rebel? If you enjoy the saxophone so much why don't you just play and tell your father to fuck off?"

Alfred stared at me for a few moments. Perhaps I had crossed the line. I began to fidget. Slowly a smile broke out on the boy's face. Such an endearing expression, it made me warm and happy like I've never known. I don't think I've seen him smile like that before at any of his adoring fans or gaggling girls. It looked so true.

"Yeah. You're right! Hey, why don't you play with me?" My jaw dropped, but Alfred pressed on. "Yeah, we could be in a band! A jazz band! My brother could play the cello or something, ya know?"

"Hold on a moment, Alfred." I held up my hand. "You forget I'm allergic to the stage."

Laughing, Alfred hugged me around the shoulder with one hand. I felt my heart race as I was pulled closer to him. "Don't worry! We'll work on that! You're a natural. Your kind of talent needs to be heard."

I looked down, but couldn't hide the small smile tugging on my lips. I had received so many compliments from peers and teachers and my own family, but Alfred's meant the most to me. I had the confidence enough to nod at his suggestion.

He punched his fists into the air. "YEAH! Well since you're just fine on math and all, why don't we practice instead?"

"You think I'm okay for my test Wednesday?" I asked, fixing my clothes as a distraction to not look at the excited boy. He was becoming far too cute. And contagious. I could feel his happiness radiating around the entire room.

"You sure are." He gave me a playful punch on the shoulder. I looked at him. "You'll be fine."

"Thank you," I said sincerely. "For all the help."

"Not a problem. I mean, we're friends now, right?" I could feel my face heat up as I stared at his blue eyes, so deep and pure. He really meant it. That means he wants to see me too. I wasn't alone in my thoughts.

With a sigh, I nodded. I gave a small smile and hoped that this was my own secretive smile that no one else but Alfred saw. It must have worked because Alfred crushed me in a tight hug. He laughed against me and, again, he was quite contagious. I could feel myself laughing too. When he pulled away, he kissed me on the forehead. I gasped and stared at him in shock. He gave a meek grin and kissed me on the cheek.

This time, I closed my eyes. I'm not sure why. Just the feel of his lips on my skin sent shivers down my arms. He must have felt them because his hands caressed my arms ever so lightly. I thought, for a moment, that I had imagined it. He pulled away again and I opened my eyes halfway. He was staring at me with an unreadable expression. What did he think of me just then?

Then, he leaned forward and took my lips with his. My eyes shot open in surprise, unable to just slip back into the comfortable feeling from before. No, now my entire world had shifted. And in a bad way.

The kiss didn't last for long. When Alfred pulled away, I stared at him, confused. "…Alfred…"

"Yes?" He didn't seem too put off by his actions. There was a dusting of light blush over the ridge of his nose as he stared at me. For some reason, his eyes looked so clear just then.

I mentally shook my head, trying to stay focused. "You just said…we were friends… I was under the impression…kissing your friends…was purely a European thing…"

"Oh uh, well…" Alfred looked away nervously with the blush spreading to his cheeks. "I just… You know… I felt like it… That's all. You're kind of…cute sometimes and, well… I was just happy… and."

The bell rang suddenly, forcing us to break apart. I wasn't sure if I should've felt relieved or upset by that. Alfred moved to get up leaving me even more confused than before. But I said and did nothing as he mumbled a good-bye and left. In truth, I was very upset with him for just kissing me like that and leaving without a proper explanation, but I had no one to blame but myself. Again, I let him leave without mustering up enough courage to even ask what his true intentions were. A kiss on the cheek was one thing and I was only tortured by it for one evening. Now it was officially the weekend.

I truly had the worst luck.

* * *

_Hoshiko2_'s cents: "America will be remembered for three things: the Constitution, baseball, and jazz." I heard that from some documentary on baseball awhile back and thought, that'd be a great way to bring the two together. America invented jazz (technically) and England's bringing it back.  
Wow, I was blown away by all the reviews, favs, and subscriptions from chapter one. Seriously, thank you to every single one of you. It means so much to me. From all of that, I wrote chapter 2 within a few hours, but because of finals I couldn't upload it until now. But finals are over and I'm on break for a month now!  
Originally this series was to be only 3 chapters long with an epilogue, but with such a response I'm thinking of continuing it afterwords.

Anyways, quote from _How to Train Your Dragon_ because I love that movie. If you happen to have any questions about my writing, feel free to drop by my Formspring. Link is on my profile page. Also, I have other stories not on here, but rather on my LJ account (also on profile page).

Thanks for reading his week and I hope you'll continue on to next week. As always, please leave a review.


	3. Chapter 3

Wednesday's dreaded math exam had come and gone with no problems. Well, other than I could hear Alfred's voice in my head the entire time that had my face blushing the entire time. I think that was the only reason I had actually passed the test with the best score I've ever gotten on a test. I was so relieved that I practically skipped to Alfred's table. This time I was going to thank him properly for all of his work.

But Alfred wasn't there. There was some other boy sitting in his place instead. I stopped short, thinking I had imagined things. No, it was Alfred. But this boy was sitting correctly in his seat, had slightly longer hair, and didn't have that obnoxious cowlick. He just had a really long curly strand bobbing in the light breeze. His nose was stuck in a book and he was eating a salad.

"Alfred?" I asked slowly as I approached Alfred's clone.

The boy looked up with violet eyes. He didn't seem surprised to be called another boy's name. I think he was rather annoyed actually. He gave a slight smile as he shook his head in the negative. "No, my brother isn't here today."

"Your…your brother?" I asked. "Oh, then you must be his brother Matthew. Yes, Alfred mentioned you a few times."

Matthew nodded, closing his book. "And he's mentioned you as well. You're Arthur Kirkland, eh?"

My heart jumped as my face flushed slightly. "He's-he's talked about me?"

Another nod. "Well he had to explain to our parents why he was coming home so late when football season has ended already. I'm more surprised he actually remembered me. My brother isn't that… Anyways, you wanted to talk to Al, eh? I'll give him a message if you want."

I held up my hands with a polite smile. "That won't be necessary. I'll wait until he comes back. Is he sick today?"

Matthew paused for a moment. I could see in his eyes that it looked like he was thinking before he came up with some explanation. I realized that Matthew was about to lie to me. Why would he lie to me? Was Alfred actually hurt and he couldn't tell me? Suddenly I felt a need to know what really was wrong if Alfred was really injured. I mean, not that I cared, but I was still waiting to practice for that jazz band Alfred had promised we'd create. I didn't plan on ever performing, but if I found a way to hear the boy play that saxophone then I'd play in front of him.

However, Matthew must have thought that he could trust me. "Alfred got hurt."

"What?" I could hear my voice crack; a leftover embarrassment from puberty. Maybe Matthew would burst out laughing and tell me he was merely joking. But he didn't.

"It's nothing serious. He…" Matthew hesitated. He looked down at his book, possibly wondering if he could jump into its pages. "He and dad don't get along very well. They fight a lot. Sometimes they get physical. Last night was no exception."

"_Well, that's what my dad says. He doesn't like that I can play it, especially since I like it. I only play at school and I've never performed since I was little. My dad wouldn't like that very much."_ I heard Alfred faintly say in my ears. When he had told me that, I didn't want to believe that he and his father didn't possibly get along, even though Kiku had mentioned his home life a few times.

I balled my hands into a fist. That man. If I met him, I'd probably belt him right in the jaw. Not only had he discouraged a gifted boy to pursue something he loved, but now he had laid harmful hands on his own son. On Alfred.

"Arthur?" Matthew said lowly. He had his head bent low with a nervous look behind his eyes. "Are you…ok?"

"Fine. Quite fine." I'm sure anyone could tell I wasn't fine. My body was shaking in rage and my fists were clenched so tightly I'm sure my knuckles were white. But then, there was a horrible aching pain in my heart. Alfred was always so happy, so carefree when with me. With anyone, really. He never let on that he was under that kind of emotional stress back home. "Tell me, Matthew… Has your father had a history of…these kinds of violent tendencies with your brother?"

Matthew nodded meekly. "Since we entered high school, I guess… Dad never bothers with me, though."

"But then why has he never said or shown any sign of that pain…?" I whispered.

Sighing, Matthew explained. "Al's never been one to do such a thing. He lets things roll off of his back and laughs it off. I don't know how, but I think it has something to do with how once he graduates he's moving far away from dad so I guess he's just putting up with this for another year."

An uncomfortable silence fell between us. I just couldn't get myself to pick one thing to say. There were hundreds of thoughts swirling in my head. I'd known Alfred since we were in middle school and while we had never become anything close to friends, I still saw him from afar. How could I not? He was the most popular boy in school; beloved by the girls, admired by the boys, and respected by the teachers. But by the time he had graduated to high school to join me, I had forgotten him. My life had taken such a spiraling change as all teenagers do when entering such a scary place.

It was hard for me to remember if Alfred had gone from his cheery self to a rebellious boy like he was now. But even in that sense, Alfred wasn't as bad as some hooligans around campus. He didn't spray paint walls, desecrate lockers, or get caught smoking illegal contraband. I had heard rumors that he raced around town, drifting with stolen cars, but I just couldn't picture it. The worst thing that I recalled him ever doing was breaking into the main office and stealing a printer and laptop, but those charges had been dropped when he returned them and did a few hours of community service.

The most Alfred ever did was just bother the piss out of me and a few teachers. Apparently, he seemed to bother his father as well. But that never warranted physical and emotional abuse.

"Does Alfred ever act out at home like he does here?" I found myself asking. I couldn't stop. Suddenly, the boy had become a lot more interesting, and while I'd rather learn these facts from the boy himself, I was also deeply concerned for his well being.

Matthew nodded. "It's worse. He gets rather violent at home, but only to dad. He's protective of mom."

"Your father fights with your mother?" My eyes widened.

"S-sometimes." Matthew was growing ever nervous. I felt bad that I was pushing him with such personal information shortly after we had met, but he had made the decision to tell me the truth and to keep answering my questions. He had the ability to stop at any moment. And now he chose to end it as he stood up abruptly. "I-I'm sorry, Arthur. I should go. Al will be fine. He'll be back tomorrow, I'm sure. My dad left for the week, so Al's safe for awhile. You can always ask him yourself when you see him."

"Alfred doesn't like me," I said sadly. While I had agonized over that kiss all weekend, I had come to the conclusion that Alfred was merely just overly affectionate, probably caught up in the moment. Who wouldn't be if you were forced to never participate in something you enjoyed and then found someone that had a shared passion with you? No, there was no way Alfred cared for me as I had for him.

Matthew had been in the process of gathering up his things, but my words stopped him. "Alfred cares very much for you. He has for awhile."

"Wh-what?" I whispered. But that accursed bell rang and Matthew was gone. I think the twins had a knack for leaving me speechless at the most inopportune moments.

Numbly, I headed to class, but I never took down notes. It didn't matter, it was just English class. I was never worried about how I fared in this subject. The real matter at hand was if Matthew had been lying to me or not. As far as I could remember, Alfred had always been a rather attractive object of my eye, but he was much too far out of my league. We were far too different, even by most standards. He was the boy with the good looks, the charm, and the drive to excel in physical subjects. I, on the other hand, was the one with forgettable looks, a nasty wit most sneered at, and a desire to be left alone. Let's not forget the obsession with rules compared to that of Alfred who obsessed with breaking them. How Alfred had even remembered me after we had graduated still had me slightly baffled.

There was a memorable moment when we were in a shared Physical Education class. The freshmen and sophomores were grouped together the first two years of class, having the option to drop P.E. from their regular list of classes afterwards. I knew I would drop it as soon as I could, seeing as how I'm not built for long strenuous activity. I think it was because my teacher knew I was running from his class once I became a junior that he partnered me up with Alfred. Here was a strapping young lad and a twig, why not put them together and laugh at their awkward misery? And awkward it was from the horrible arguments between us, to miscommunication that ended in my pain, to Alfred teasing my lack of skill.

It had been another day of football, or soccer as Alfred kindly reminded me every single day, and I was standing by the sidelines catching my breath. While I enjoyed the sport and bragged about English players back home in England, I found I wasn't particularly good at it. Still, Alfred had come up beside me, pat me on the back, and complimented me. I knew he had been putting up with me for quite some time, as I had with him, but he still found it in him to give me a smile and a few kind words.

I believe that was when I took him off the list of "only good looks" to "and is rather kind." These days it seemed he had jumped drastically to a list that he claimed all to his own. The "crush" list.

* * *

True to Matthew's word, Alfred was in school the next day. He had no visible marks or bruises, leaving me to believe that his father had hurt him in places that were more intimate. I quickly looked him over and noticed he was wearing a scarf. It was gradually getting colder as December came upon the town, but the scarf seemed so out of place as it was a putrid orange color. If his father had truly hurt him on the neck, I found that I could never forgive such a human being. Even if I wasn't attracted to Alfred, I didn't think anyone deserved to be hurt by their own father.

Slowly, I approached him. "Alfred?"

He turned, smiling brightly. "Arthur! Hey, sorry I wasn't here yesterday. I was a little under the weather. My bro says you came to see me?"

His eyes looked so clear and blue, but under them I could see lines from exhaustion. My heart clenched as I realized that he was so good at this fake mask of his that he had it up even when I was around. "Oh…yes… I just…wanted you to know I passed the math exam."

Instantly, his face lit up even more and he gave me a tight hug. "That's great dude! I knew you'd pass!"

"Yes… Thank you," I mumbled. This should have been a joyous moment, the two of us relishing in my success. Over the weekend I had envisioned a scene where Alfred and I would agree to hang out outside of school, getting to know each other more. My heart interjected that he would give me some sappy confession, kiss me senseless, and we'd begin to date. Of course that would never happen, so I had to remain content with staying friends.

"Hey, so you wanna hang out today?" Alfred asked after he had released me. I gasped in surprise. Maybe my vision was still a possibility. "We could practice together."

While it wasn't a date, it was still something. It was more than something. It was time with Alfred. I felt myself smiling slightly, pushing aside the gnawing pain I felt in relation to Alfred's own, and agreed. With another hug, Alfred left on his merry way to class.

After the final bell had rung, I made my way quickly to the music room. On the way there I decided I would not ask Alfred about his troubles. If Matthew was right and his brother really did care for me, then he would tell me on his own. I had to trust the boy. How could I like him if I didn't? Feeling confident that something good would come from our time together I entered the music room. There stood Alfred by the window.

He turned, but didn't smile. Briefly, I worried if there was something wrong. "Are you okay?"

"Arthur? Can I ask you something?"

My heart stuttered in my chest. Was he going to ask me about yesterday's meeting with Matthew? Or worse, was it about my feelings? "Y-yes, of course."

"…Why do you try so hard to be perfect?"

That caught me off guard. While it wasn't completely far off base, I didn't think I was aiming for perfection. I was just trying to be good at something, anything. I walked up near Alfred, hugging my arms as I looked at the piano.

"I have three older brothers," I started. Alfred looked confused. "They're all accomplished men, married, and making the Kirkland name proud. Scott is in finance, Will is a famed author, and Shane owns a company that builds ships. So it's not a matter of trying to be perfect, it's rather a way to try and be _good enough_. When we were younger, we fought quite often. Shane is only 5 years older than me, but is already so successful."

"But you're good at playing the piano," Alfred offered.

I shook my head, a sad smile on my face. "My parents might support me, but it wouldn't go far. Will was lucky with his first novel in that it was a rather cunning fantasy novel that was turned into a children's movie."

A hand fell on my shoulder causing me to look up and into those ever crystal blue eyes. The weariness from earlier had vanished from underneath his eyes. "That's why we'll play. Maybe you can find the confidence in yourself. If you released a CD, I'd buy it."

My face warmed again as he complimented me once more. Things I had never gotten from anyone. My family would toss a few my way, but it always seemed to be forced. Something you do because you're related. I toyed with the end of my uniform's sleeve, unsure of what to say. But I didn't want to be caught always off guard, unable to say anything and never let Alfred know what his words meant to me. Besides, he had such a rough weekend that I figured some nice words from me were in order.

"Thank you," I mumbled. "I'm not used to so much praise. I dare say I was wrong about you. You're awfully nice to me when I don't think I've done anything to deserve it."

Alfred's mouth fell open a bit in surprise. "Not done anything? You didn't have to try and help me in English, you know?"

"Yes, well, I couldn't just let someone destroy my country's language," I replied.

Alfred laughed. "In any case, you've always been a lot nicer to me than I have to you. You don't know it, but you cheered me up a lot back in P.E. and sometimes even in the hallway when you bark orders at me."

"How do my threats of a write-up cheer you up?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"They just do." Alfred shrugged. "I guess I'm a bit of a masochist. You've just always been that way. It's cute."

Again with that word. It made me fluster on the spot knowing Alfred was watching my reactions. I only hoped he wasn't laughing at me and thinking something bad about me.

"You didn't think that way of me when we first met," I said, forcing my voice to remain calm. "Do you remember that?"

Alfred thought for a moment before laughing and pointing at me. "Oh yeah! I told you to go back to Russia!"

"You also asked if I was a girl," I grumbled.

"Well your hair was kinda long back then."

"Belt up!" I punched him on the shoulder, earning a hearty laugh; that loud one that reverberated off of the music room walls. I found myself enjoying it more and more with every time I heard it. I wondered if that was his true laugh or not. If Alfred was truly going through such a hard time at home, I wanted to make his time at school, preferably with me, just a little easier for him.

"To answer your question, I do remember when we first met," Alfred said. He looked down at his shoes with a reddening face. "I thought you were…adorable."

"A-adorable!" Again with the voice cracking. "That's too bold of a joke, Alfred."

"It's not a joke," Alfred said seriously. He looked at me and I could tell he meant it. "You were so different from the other kids. So true to yourself. I really admired how much you stuck to the rules, but didn't put up with anyone's shit. I wanted to be like you."

This situation had suddenly gone from playful to serious. My heart was beating far too fast, but not in happiness; in fear. What if I was merely taking his words too far and Alfred didn't mean anything by it? Just harmless compliments that I turned vicious in my head. I tried to find some way to make the situation lighten, so I laughed. Alfred looked at me in surprise, but I kept laughing. "Alfred, you are a comedian as well? I didn't know you had it in you."

"I'm not…making any jokes, Arthur." Alfred started to look hurt the more I rejected him.

"You make it sound as if you fancy me," I laughed. This was it. I put my heart on the line. Don't hurt me, please.

Alfred scratched the back of his head nervously. He was looking at the piano, but turned his attention to my desperate eyes. "If 'fancy' means 'I like you' in British, then…yeah. I do. I have for awhile, actually."

My breath caught and I stopped laughing. "That's impossible. How?"

"Damnit Arthur, I don't know. Don't question my feelings." Alfred turned, staring out the window again. "Look, I've liked you for a few years, but I knew you didn't like me even as a friend. Since you loved the rules so much I thought I would break them so you'd notice me. But that wasn't working. It only made you hate me more. So… when Kiku told me his half-brother was coming for a visit, I asked him to suggest you come see me for your math problems."

He stopped suddenly. I made no movement, no sound in fear that this moment would shatter. He was being so honest with me. He always was honest. How is it he did it so easily, so painfully well that I was always left standing like a fool with my mouth open? Why couldn't I tell him that because he was the first person to notice and appreciate my talents my spirits had been lifted? Or that I deeply enjoyed knowing he saw me as a person beyond that of a nitpicking Englishman? Or make the first move and kiss his cheek?

Alfred turned back around slowly. I think he was scared too. He had just put his heart on the line like I had. I wasn't about to crush it, not when he was being so brave. All for me.

"Alfred…," I whispered. The moment was still here as long as I was quiet. "I've… I… Since you… You're…"

He furrowed his brow in confusion, but waited. I bit my lower lip, closing my eyes. "Damnit. Alfred, you're so insufferable, how could I not like you?"

"Was that a yes or a no because I'm a little confused there."

I sighed, keeping my eyes closed. "Yes, Alfred. It's been a yes for quite awhile too…"

The moment had broken then, but not into the dangerous shards of glass we both had feared. No, this was like a warm and enveloping burst of pure relief and happiness that engulfed me. Or rather, Alfred had in another tight embrace. This time I could feel my arms wrapping around him. He was a lot larger than me in frame and slightly taller than me, but it felt like the perfect mold to me. I hope he thought the same for me.

He kissed the top of my head, my forehead, cheeks, and was moving for my lips again. But I stole that moment in a rare burst of confidence. Perhaps the boy was affecting me what with all of his own certainty pouring out of him. Alfred made a slight noise before he kissed me back. His hands slid up my backside to cup the nape of my neck, entangling his fingers in the base of my hairline. My own fingers gripped at his broad shoulders, enjoying the feel of everything. My heart raced as his pounded against my chest. What a wonderful feeling to know I made someone's heart pound as hard as my own did for them.

I could feel him open his mouth, licking along my upper lip as a request to take this new relationship to the second level. I complied wanting it as much as he did. Alfred's kiss was like his personality; a whirlwind you're not ready for, can't really fight back (and didn't really want to), and leaving you wanting more. Or maybe that was just me.

Slowly, I could feel my feet moving backwards towards the piano behind me. I didn't stop, allowing Alfred to push me so I leaned against the piano's keys. He continued to kiss me, creating so many new emotions I never knew existed. A few notes tinkled out into the air. That was a wake-up call to me that this kiss might be a little too heated for my first one.

I politely stopped the kiss with a gentle push on Alfred's chest. He pulled away with a smack of his lips and a content sigh. I opened my eyes to look up at him feeling more at peace with the world around me than I believe I've ever been. All this from one kiss? I could feel my masculinity melting away into a sap of a teenage girl.

"So…," Alfred started. He stared at me behind a warm smile and half-lidded eyes. "Does this mean we're still on for the band?"

"The…band?" I asked, slow to regain the other senses aside from touch.

"Yeah, our jazz band. Matt says he's totally in. I still want to do this with you."

"Oh…yes. The band… That sounds quite lovely." No, what was lovely was the way Alfred looked with this glow to his face. Had I really caused that to form on him? I caressed his face, brushing his bangs from his forehead. "What shall we name it?"

"I vote for Grammar Nazi." Alfred grinned.

Needless to say, I didn't accept such a horrendous name, but I laughed all the same. Alfred returned the laugh and I could tell that this relationship, where ever it would go, would be an interesting one. At least it'll be full of good music.

* * *

_Hoshiko2_'s cents: So this chapter did not head in the original direction I had wanted it to go. To be honest it was because I wrote it to be the last chapter, but then decided I would expand this series, so I added in a back story to Alfred. While Al's home life is not the best, I don't plan on making it a critical part of the series just because Al doesn't talk about it and Arthur doesn't ask. Yes, it'll pop in every now and then to add some drama, but this series will revolve around their relationship, the band, and how these two grow into adults.

Had to put in a Yugioh the Abridged line (huge props if you know it).

NOW COMES SOMETHING IMPORTANT! You guys asked for it and you guys got it. I WILL be totally expanding this series, but I need a band name. I am TERRIBLE with names. Hell, it took like 10 minutes to think up a title for this series. Also, if you guys have great recommendations for jazz songs that you'd like to see the boys perform, please send links this way. Surprisingly, I don't know jazz that well, though I love smooth jazz the most.

Also, for your folks. I have put this series as a T rating, but the next chapter will be raised to a higher level. However, since that isn't allowed on this site, I recommend you check out my LJ to see the scenes that I'll sadly have to take out on here. I'll include the link at the end of that chapter so feel free to pop in.  
Way too much talking this chapter from me. Please leave a review. They make my heart super happy.


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: SORRY I LIED THERE IS NO HIGHER RATING THIS CHAPTER! Since I expanded on the entire piece that meant I had to expand all the chapters after the third chapter as well. And you'll notice I changed the rating of this series as well. Sorry if no one likes this.

* * *

_

Being Student Body President had its perks. I got to startle the freshmen who thought they were humorous when they tried to set off the fire alarm, approve ideas students had in mind to improve our school, and just feel all around important to the entity of the school. But then there were days I wish I had never taken such a job. Those days had been the past month.

Thanks to my blasted title I was in charge of all the aforementioned duties, but also had to deal with it while during finals. With Prom approaching. While trying to make a band. Oh and deal with a rather loving boyfriend.

I sighed every time I remembered Alfred was officially my boyfriend. These days, however, I had become much too busy to spend the same amount of time we used to spend together between this month had landed upon us. I blame it on me, and not just because of my overwhelming schedule. No, before this I had taken the relationship at a snail's pace. It took me almost two months to let Alfred know where I lived, preferring to take the bus home than have him drop me off after band practice. Once he had visited my house he stopped by every weekend, waiting until my parents left, and cuddling with me on the couch as we entertained ourselves with movies or video games. After a time he would just make-out with me until I was loopy in the head. Damn prat.

Amazingly, Alfred had shown great support and restraint during this time. He never seemed terribly upset we couldn't be together as much anymore, even on the weekends as I was studying, and he laughed off all of my apologizes. That ridiculously endearing smile would grace his lips as he said, "This will all pass eventually. Just know I'm going to collect big time on you."

I would then proceed to scold him for his grammar and he would end up kissing me on the nose, though never in public. No, as far as we had come in our relationship I had made Alfred agree that our status change would never change on any social network, especially that around the school. I had that reputation and if people knew, they might laugh me off as a pansy or a faggot rather than follow my rules. I refused to let my authority be taken from me all because I was dating someone of the same gender as me. What a ridiculous reason to lose such power.

However, I didn't mind not having so much power at the moment. I sighed as I leaned my head against the inner door of my locker. If only I could have a moment to myself I would be able to collect my thoughts. As it was I had just been handed five new permission slips for Prom from the Prom planning committee, given two new projects to finish for my final, and told what to expect from my science final. That would probably allot me with one hour to talk with Alfred on the phone late in the night, possibly as I finished one of my projects. It didn't help that my dreams were filled with Alfred's smile, laugh, and hands touching me in places no one else had. I shivered as I turned my attention to other thoughts.

I then realized I hadn't seen or heard from Alfred all day. I worried that he was "sick" again, but Matthew had given me a reassuring smile this morning as we passed in the hall. If he didn't meet my eye, I knew that Alfred and his father had another rough night. It was our silent way of communicating to one another without letting Alfred know I was in the loop with his family's problems.

I always felt a slight tingle of guilt in my mind when I thought of how I never told Alfred how much I knew. But then there was the tremendous pain that coupled with it when I realized he still hadn't told me. Everything I knew was from his brother. Did he still not trust me?

A loud bang next to me jerked me out of my thoughts. Someone nearby had slammed their locker closed as they rushed to their class. I hadn't heard the bell ring, but figured it must be almost time for class. Quickly, I gathered my materials and closed my locker. Standing beside me was Alfred, propped against the lockers with an elbow pushed against it and his hand supporting his chin. A long, lazy smile was across his face.

"Hey there Grammar Nazi."

I blushed, still detesting that nickname. "Why do you still call me that?"

"Because it suits you." He moved so his hand was now against the locker instead and leaned closer to me. "How are you?"

I sighed, unable to find the urge to give a white lie. "Terrible, but I should be fine after this week is over. And you? I'm sorry I was unable to call last night."

"Ah, don't worry about it. Oh, so I've _finally_ come up with a name we can all agree on." I rolled my eyes knowing I'd hate the name already. Alfred was terrible when it came to names, more so than I was with cooking. "How about 'The Dirty Scones'?"

I sputtered in shock. "What in the world ever possessed you to think up such a horrendous name? That sounds better suited for some punk rock band."

"Okay, okay. Don't worry, I have more!" Alfred pulled out a small piece of paper. I sighed, putting my books back into my locker, knowing I'd be here a little longer than I had planned. "How about these ones? The Whispers, Key and Wind, Small World, or-"

"Small World?" I asked, an eyebrow raised. "Where did that come from?"

"Well! I mean, you're from England and I'm American, so it's a Small World we got together, you know?" Alfred tried to give me that boyish grin that always worked on the ladies, and most of the time on me, but I wasn't charmed today.

But as the two of us began to bicker about the name, I couldn't help but notice just how attractive Alfred was truly becoming. Last year, he reminded me of a puppy. He was far too big for his body and stumbled around like a puppy, far too tiny for its paws. I believe it was because of his letterman's jacket that he always wore, even on the off season. Even outside of school, he would wear a bomber jacket that was the same color, and looked far too big for him. It's the most endearing outfit I think I've ever found myself wondering about when I daydreamed about Alfred.

My dreams reflected my changing feelings for the boy. When we had first kissed all those months ago I had only seen Alfred as just an attractive lad with a bright smile and kind words. But as we grew closer, his words only intensified in gentleness and his physical appearance made my body react in odd ways. It seemed almost every night I would have vivid dreams of Alfred initiating a kiss, then a caress down my bare skin, and a grope on my hard crotch. And every morning it seemed I woke up with messy sheets that embarrassed me. Not something good so early in the morning.

As time went on, these dreams became more vivid and real the more I found myself desiring him. I could tell Alfred was having troubles too. Our movie nights together eventually became excuses for him to come over and feel my body under his. He was slowly becoming bolder and his hands were getting closer to my pants.

He knew how I felt too as I always reacted, never pushing away. It was always because a scary monster appeared on the screen, we got too into it and fell off of the couch, or my parents were coming into the room. The latter seemed to be the most recurring problem. After a time, Alfred decided he would only visit if my parents were gone, but even those nights ended in disaster one way or the other. The worst was when poor Alfred literally tumbled off of the couch, onto the floor, and popped his head up proclaiming he was looking for the remote and had finally discovered in under the couch. I merely laughed my mother with a bright red face that was much too suspicious.

Still, it made my heart swell to know Alfred was still by my side despite our lack of affection to one another in the past few weeks. He had made no daring or brash moves for me or forced anything on me. Our nightly phone calls and minimal times together in the hallway or after school made it all worthwhile to him. And to me.

"Ok!" Alfred held up his hands, the bell ringing faintly in the background. "How about we just figure something out today after school?"

"Sounds good to me." I adjusted my tie, knowing I had gotten a little too riled up from our argument. I hated to back down to anything, but I had to remind myself that this was just a name for the band. "Our usual time today?"

"Yeah. We'll practice, talk, kiss, and all that jazz." Suddenly, Alfred gasped and his eyes lit up. "That's it! Artie, I know what we'll name our band!"

I grumbled again at the nickname. I wasn't terribly fond of that one either, but it was better than the other name. "And what's that?"

"And All That Jazz!" Alfred held his arms out as if expecting me to rush into his arms, praising him for his genius at finding a suitable name. However I stood there, unimpressed. "Why don't you like this name?"

"Bands that name themselves after set phrase words are doomed for failure. I'd prefer we not name ourselves after that."

Here comes the Alfred whining and puppy dog eyes, I thought. Sure enough, they came. "Aw, come on. It's a really good name."

"It is it not." I turned away, trying to not think of how cute the boy was. He was impossible some days. Most days. Every day.

"You like it and you know it." Alfred was now smiling as he put his arm on the wall to brace his body. He leaned over me, enjoying how I flustered to look away.

"N-no I do not," I stuttered. Why was it I was older and yet Alfred had such a way over me? I was supposed to be the one more in control of his emotions, not Alfred over mine.

"No, I know you like it." Alfred's smile grew impossibly cockier. "Why do you always hide things from me?"

My heart clenched upon hearing those words. How dare he say such a thing to me when he was never fully honest to me despite the fact we had been dating close to six months now? I looked down, mumbling meaningless threats and feeling him move closer to me. I knew we were alone by now, probably late to class, but I still felt uneasy being in public.

"C'mon Arthur…," Alfred whispered. I could tell he was still smiling just from the tone of his voice. Damn prat.

I looked up as he closed his eyes, taking me in with his lips. I gave in, kissing him back, but nothing more than a chaste kiss. Still, it earned me that heart-warming smile and low chuckle I loved. My face must have looked like a tomato as I pulled back, licking my lips before averting my eyes. That only earned me another deep chuckle and a tight hug. I sighed into the hug, closing my eyes and enjoying the boy all around me. But it was as short as our kiss and he was soon gone, promising a time together after school.

I turned to go to class, failing to notice that I was late. And going the wrong way.

* * *

"Okay, so band practice for 'And All That Jazz' has begun!" Alfred shouted enthusiastically, his fist in the air. He acted as if there was more than just me and Matthew in the room.

I rolled my eyes, taking my position at the piano. "Alfred, I told you we are not naming the band that."

"Shush!" Alfred turned with his saxophone in hand. "Today we have a special practice! Okay, so you know how we've been trying for months to get Arthur to sing, right?"

I blushed, looking down at my hands. I'm not quite sure what possessed Alfred to think that I could sing, but he had begged me and I had constantly refused the offer. Even Matthew was put up to asking me. Still, I denied it.

"Well I think I've found someone who can help!" Alfred waved his hand towards the music room door.

"_Bonjour_."

I stood up quickly, my eyes aflame. "Get out."

"Ah, but wait _mon ami_, Alfred has asked me special to be your singer for your lovely little band," Francis started. Some days, it was a tie between whom could upset me more, Alfred or Francis. Alfred's antics usually ended in him hugging and kissing me while Francis' were him laughing and running from me as I chased him down the hall.

I turned to Alfred with accusing eyes. "Alfred, you did this without consulting me or Matthew?"

"Matt's cool with whatever I choose," Alfred replied with a wave of his hand. As much as I hated to admit it, he was right on that account. "And besides, you weren't budging on _anything_ I picked. I know, this band is our thing and all and you were fine with Matt joining, but a band needs a singer. Especially if we're to perform at Prom."

"WHAT?" I flung my hands in the air. "Alfred, when were you going to tell me this?"

"But I did tell you," Alfred said. "I gave my permission slip to the Prom committee who then passed it on to you. It was in your pile today."

I sighed, aggravated. So _that_ was the one of the five slips. I had all but forgotten about Prom, rather looking forward to a calming jazz band practice. "Alfred, you know how much I've been working with that blasted dance. I would rather-"

"Exactly! That's why I wanted to perform at it! You've done _so_ much and I thought it would be cool if you could _actually_ be a part of it for once." Alfred bounded over to me, taking my hands in his. I blushed profusely at his actions, especially since Francis didn't know of our relationship. "Come on, Artie… Please. This would be a great chance to show this school what for right before you leave."

I gulped, forcing my brain to not go down that road of _graduation_ and focused on trying to refute Alfred, but those bloody eyes. I looked away, and Alfred jumped for joy.

"B-but I don't think the name's any good," I mumbled, trying to _still_ win at least something.

Alfred hugged me around the shoulder, facing the others. "Yeah, yeah. All right guys! So we have Prom coming up by the end of this month and we already have the first piece ready, but now that we have a singer-"

"And a drummer." Everyone looked to Francis. He held up a finger with a smug grin. "I hope you don't mind but I thought of inviting my friend, Felix, with me as well. He is a rather good drummer."

"Absolutely not," I said flatly.

But at the same time I heard Alfred say, "Sure, why not?"

Both of us looked to each other, before I stormed up to Alfred, my finger already pointing at him angrily. After a short tussle with the taller boy, he pushed me out into the hallway. I paced in front of him while he watched me silently. At length, I took a deep breath and turned to him with a sigh.

"Alfred… We have no need of a drummer."

"Actually, we do! This is perfect, Arthur." He came closer to me, but I would not be deterred. I held my ground. "If he can do a light beat in the background, it'll totally add to the mood. And if we're not going for smooth jazz then it'd be easy to switch it up to that of like New Orleans style or something. You know, upbeat stuff!"

I stared at Alfred as he spoke and remained calm. It hurt that Alfred was just letting more and more people into our band without my consideration when it was what brought us together. I was fine with his brother, but I wasn't keen on Felix and I certainly was against Francis. The band was looking less and less like _our_ band.

"Alfred… How important is this band to you?" I asked slowly.

"Very!" he exclaimed with no hesitation. He put his hands on my shoulders and smiled, looking right into my eyes. "I mean, if it weren't for my brilliant idea to start it up, we'd never have gotten together, would we?"

I blushed. "I d-doubt that… We would have probably found some way."

Alfred chuckled, kissing the top of my head. "But would we be as close as we are today? Not one bit!"

I sighed, refusing to admit he was right. As I was preparing for some witty retort, Francis stuck his head out of the music room. "I hate to interrupt your love spat, but I don't have much time today. Will we start practicing today?"

Alfred put his hand over my mouth as I started to throw insults his way. How dare he barge in to _our_ band then demand that we hurry. But I knew now there was no way I could convince Alfred any other way. Yes, it was important to him, but I was worried for what reasons. They didn't seem to be the same as mine, despite what he said.

* * *

It wasn't unusual that Alfred invited himself over after practice, but after today's I wasn't in the mood to see his smiling face. That's why I made him deal with my silence as I sat on the couch, my arms crossed, and a scowl set firmly on my face. The practice had started and ended horribly. While Francis had quite a lovely voice, he was still pompous and rude. Felix, however, was shy at first; something I was terribly grateful for. Once he had gotten an understanding of the group, though, he became demanding. I was reminded of a diva of sorts. And he was only the drummer.

Alfred didn't make the situation any better as he ignored any complaints I had in favor for anything Felix and Francis suggested. After a time, I remained silent and seethed.

"Arthur, are you still mad at me?" Alfred asked. He was sitting next to me, a soda in one hand and some crisps in the other. He looked at me when I didn't reply. "Aw, come on!"

"I will not 'come on'!" I grumbled.

Alfred poked my face as his whiny voice appeared. "But Arthur! I've done nothing wrong."

"Nothing?" I turned to him, my resolve waning. "Nothing wrong? What happened to _our_ band and _our _practice? Does that mean nothing to you?"

"O-of course not!" Alfred was taken aback by my sudden anger, although to be honest, it wasn't sudden. He was just ignorant. "This band means so much to me! It's always been ours and always will be!"

"Then why are you letting so many in?" I asked. As soon as the words slipped past my lips I realized I sounded like a jealous child, immaturely so riled up by someone else invading their territory.

Alfred, as ignorant as he was, saw right through me. He smiled warmly and put his drink and crisps on the coffee table. Slowly, he took me in his arms, but I put up a protest to this. I was not about to be won over by his affection. Alfred said nothing as he pulled me closer and began kissing my cheek.

"I had no idea you were so jealous…," he whispered. He smiled as I huffed and blushed, both from his actions and my own humiliation at my actions. "Oh Arthur, if it meant that much to you then I'll just kick them all out and it can just be us."

I sighed, knowing that those were the words I had wanted to hear, but also knowing that such a move would make a bigger mess than I was ready to deal with. "No, Alfred… We'll let them stay. I daresay they are rather gifted. However, I refuse to have them dictate our actions."

Alfred smiled brightly, kissing me on the nose. "You're the best boyfriend!"

I sighed, looking away and mumbled, "Idiot…"

"So, I heard that you never went to Prom last year," Alfred started. I looked at him suspiciously.

"If this is your way of asking me to Prom, it's quite horrendous." Alfred looked shocked. A slight twinge of guilt went through me at seeing his dejected look, but if I were to be asked out to my first Prom, I'd prefer it be done properly.

"Actually, no, it wasn't my way of asking you to Prom."

"Oh." And again, I felt foolish beyond words. I looked down at my lap, probably with a red face. Alfred must think I was rude far more often that I truly meant to be.

But then Alfred kissed my cheek again. I looked at him, my expression softening at his eyes on mine. He kissed me on the lips and I responded. Knowing that my parents weren't home, he deepened the kiss, his fingers clenching the back of my shirt. I made a soft noise, running my hands down along his backside. My favorite area was the dip between his shoulder blades.

Slowly, I felt my body being lowered onto the couch. My heart sped up as Alfred moved to lie atop me. I knew what he was after and normally, I would look for some excuse to stop him. But today, I found that I wasn't. My body reacted on its own, arching up into his touches, shivering as his hips rubbed mine, and aching for more. I moaned lightly, breaking the kiss.

With a sigh, I whispered Alfred's name. That seemed to awaken a beast in him. He devoured my mouth and his hands were all over me. Automatically I felt my legs spread open, allowing him to meld perfectly against my body. I moaned again, earning an equally passionate reply from Alfred. Was this really about to happen?

I could feel Alfred's tension towards all of our past futile attempts build up as he worked faster. He moved to take my shirt off and unbutton my pants with one hand, the other keeping a tight hold on my waist. While my body showed that it was ready, Alfred knew that at any moment my brain could catch up with me and I could put a stop to his actions. Either that or my parents.

But this time it wasn't because of my parents that we were forced to stop. As Alfred's hands had wriggled their way under my shirt and caressed my bare skin, his pants began to vibrate. At first, I thought I had somehow caused this, but when Alfred pulled away with a displeased expression I knew it wasn't from me.

"Who is it?" I asked breathlessly.

Alfred pulled out his cell phone, checked the caller ID, and frowned. "It's Matt…"

He looked back to me, biting his lower lip. My hand was still gripping his shirt and I must have looked sexier than I felt for Alfred tossed the phone aside and leaned back over me to continue the kiss. Sadly, my mind had caught up with me. If Matthew was calling, it had to have been something important. What if he needed Alfred for some reason concerning his father or mother?

I put a hand on Alfred's chest, stopping him before he got to me. "Alfred… You should answer that."

"Dun wanna…," he mumbled close to my lips.

I frowned. "Alfred, proper English, please."

With an unpleasant huff, Alfred got up and reached for his phone. He answered sharply and I winced. I had gone and ruined the moment once again. Quite honestly, though, I couldn't help it. If I am to make love with Alfred I preferred it be in a bed. That and I was still unsure of his true affections for me. I was certain he was attracted to me and cared for me, but was it enough to be in love? We had only been dating for a short while, but he did say he had liked me for a few years before I took notice of his existence for more than just an annoying teen.

As for me, well even I was a little unsteady in my feelings. I knew that it bordered a strong attraction to both his physical and emotional self, but I couldn't commit to anything further unless I knew for sure it was love. That was how I had been raised; to not share your heart until it was with the one you loved. Anything else and you were a slut and a whore.

Suddenly, Alfred slapped his cell phone shut and I came out of my thoughts. He turned to me, an aggravated look to his eyes. "Sorry, I have to get home."

"Oh." I sat up, toying with the ends of my shirt. "Is something wrong?"

For a moment I hoped Alfred was going to tell me what I already knew; trusting me and proving his love. But there was a sigh, a run through his hair, and then a smile back on his face. He had put that mask back on. My shoulders dropped in disappointment.

"No, it's fine. Nothing major. My old man just needs some help or something." Alfred smiled brightly and leaned in to kiss my cheek. "But I'll call you tonight."

I watched as Alfred started to leave, remembering his soda and crisps. I said nothing for I was far too frustrated with his lack of trust towards me. He stopped to look at me, contemplating something, and then came close.

"I totally had an awesome way of asking you to Prom, but I can't do it now." My breath caught in my throat. "So this will have to do. Arthur Kirkland, will you accompany me to Prom and be my date for the evening?"

I felt numb. I think a giddy and girly smile spread across my face for Alfred's own grin increased as he watched me. I nodded slowly, but then looked away. He might have been hopeless, but I was far worse to fall for a boy like him. He hugged me tightly, kissing me on the ear and then saying a farewell. Again, he left me speechless.

Damnit, I thought. I'm going to have to do something someday to take his breath away too!

And that's when I got the idea to write my first ever song.

* * *

_Hoshiko2_'s cents: The first scene with Al and Arthur kissing was based on this :/ /img. photobucket. com/albums /v735/ hoshiko2/For%20LJ/ yesyoudowantit. jpg (no spaces).

There ya go, Kanta. I hope this was enough UST for you. There will be more to come dear, I promise.

Also, a note as to why I picked France and Poland to join the band. While researching on jazz, I found that while England revived it recently, France and Poland have taken it up as well. I thought it would be a great addition to the team.

Thanks to everyone who suggested names and even gave links to songs. Super huge shout-out to mizu_from_kumo for her suggestions on the names Alfred listed and to LovelyHikari for her giving me the idea to just name the band based on the title. I honestly hadn't thought of that because I thought, "Well, that'd be a cop-out." I actually have an idea about the name of the band in a few upcoming chapters. Heh heh.

I hope you enjoyed this update. The fifth chapter will be up by the end of this week, shortly before Christmas, so I hope you're all able to read it when it comes. Thanks for all the reviews like always! :3


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N:_ This chapter is rather long. Sorry. IT JUST KEPT GOING AND GOING!

* * *

"Stop! Stop!"

For the fifth time that practice, Francis had stopped everyone. My fingers curled inwards as I sucked in my lips. I would not snap, I reminded myself. Only one more day and it would be Prom and this would stop. Yes, it had to. I refused to have the band still be controlled by the two blonde prima donnas.

"What's wrong now?" Alfred asked, lowering his saxophone. "It sounded fine to me."

"_Non_, my voice is off," Francis said as he moved to drink from his water bottle again.

"Who fucking cares?" I sighed. My eyes kept glancing at the clock. "I don't have bloody time for this!"

Matthew spoke up from behind me, a rare occurrence. "Please Francis. Arthur has to run to help with the Prom. We don't have much time to practice together."

Francis sighed, running a hand through his hair. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at such an exaggerated move. If he was going for pity, he certainly wasn't getting it from me. Once he nodded, I turned back to the piano. We had been allowed to play one set, three songs, and that didn't make Felix very happy. He had already followed me down the hallways between classes begging for at least one more set. Apparently he had invited a friend from a neighboring school and wanted to show off for him. However, all the other bands had been booked and I barely managed to squeeze in our own.

Even Matthew had found some way to complain at some point, saying that he didn't think we were playing a good enough set, wondering if we could play something more original. Sadly, since we were so new and had only brought on two members in the past two weeks, we were only able to do one original song and two covers. While I wasn't happy with the musical selection either, I had far more important matters to deal with than my unhappy crew.

I was very grateful for Alfred who kept his mouth shut and never pushed a single thing on me. Not even himself. Ever since our last intimate moment together, Alfred had distanced himself from me greatly. I tried to remain calm and have normal conversations during lunch and practice sessions, but he only gave me short answers and brief kisses to remind me we were still together. At first I wondered if it was because of finals, but then I overheard Alfred having a conversation with his brother, Francis, and Felix.

When I heard them laughing so casually, how I wished I could be there beside Alfred, maybe have his arm around my shoulder. I had been so over run with school that I hadn't had time to be around my friends in a relaxed manner. But then when I heard the boys meeting up outside of school, I came around the corner asking if I could join. While I normally hate inviting myself, Alfred hadn't offered out a hand to me in days and, I had to admit, I was getting awfully desperate of his attention.

Instead of smiling at me, Alfred looked away. He came up with an excuse, saying that it would be too late in the evening and I would be studying. None of the others could look me in the eye, though. I felt the pit of my stomach tighten. Not even six months and Alfred had lied to me on more than one occasion.

It made me feel like the worst boyfriend ever.

Once practice got out, I stood up with my bag and headed for the door. Suddenly, Alfred rushed after me.

"Hold on a minute," he called. He told the others to wait and followed me out. "Hey, so we're still on for tomorrow of course. Are you excited?"

I sighed. "I guess. I mean… Prom will be exciting to say the least. But I'm terribly frightened about our performance. I'm trying to not think about it."

"Ah, but that's not the only thing going on tomorrow." Alfred smirked as he leaned closer.

I cursed my heart for beating so hard. The blasted idiot hadn't paid me any mind for the past week and now he wants to talk? Somehow I found the decency in me to listen to what he had to say. "I haven't the faintest idea of what you are talking about."

"You know… Tomorrow? It's the sixteenth?"

"Yes, and? All I know is tomorrow is going to be a hectic day filled with a nerve racking performance and then a few moments to dance with a boyfriend that has barely given me the time of day for over a blasted week now! Yes, Alfred. I'm bloody excited!"

It had all come out like word vomit. Now I knew I had reached my limit. I could probably have made it all through the stress if only Alfred had looked more my way. He had promised me his time and affection, but was he taking it all back? Suddenly I felt very scared of him abandoning me. What an absurd feeling. I had always been so in control of myself, but then this big loud boy entered my life and took my breath away. How had he done it so quickly?

Perhaps I really wasn't as mature as I acted. And for that, I only became angrier with myself. Especially once I saw Alfred's eyes widen and he took a step back.

"Whoa. Are you okay?" he asked. "I mean…where the hell did that come from?"

"Nowhere!" I snapped. I turned to walk away, but Alfred grabbed my arm.

"Hang on, you are so not leaving me this upset." He forced me to turn around and look at him, even if I was glaring. "Now talk to me. I'm sorry we haven't been as close, but my finals have been brutal. Plus, I thought you wanted some space what with all you've been doing. I'm sure you've been wanting sleep and private time more than time with me, right?"

I blushed, muttering, "Don't assume what I want."

"Why don't you tell me what's really going on then?" Alfred asked as he crossed his arms. "I'm not some mind reader you know."

My eyes glanced at the bruise on his neck. He had hidden it under that gaudy colored scarf, but removed it a few days ago. Some of his friends joked that it was from football practice while girls rumored it was a hickey. Only Matthew and I knew it was from his father. He had been out for two days from that injury and when I pressed about it, Alfred waved it off as nothing major.

If anyone should be telling someone about anything, it's Alfred. Still, this was not the time nor the place for such a topic. This was about me.

I sighed, "Alfred, I apologize. Perhaps I'm more tired than I thought I was. Forgive me. I think it's just nervousness of tomorrow."

Alfred smiled and then hugged me. Had it been that long since he had embraced me? I felt my entire body seep into his chest and large biceps.

"Hey now, grammar boy, why don't you rest up then? I'm going to be sweeping you off of your feet tomorrow night. I don't want you to be tired. Well, I don't want you tired any time, really, but tomorrow especially." He kissed the top of my head. "And I'm really sorry we haven't been together more. First thing after finals are over I'm taking you out on a date, I promise."

I laughed, feeling all of my previous anger ebb away. I really was hopeless, wasn't I? First Alfred could make me so angry I exploded on him, the next he had me blushing like a school girl at the prospect of going out on a real date with him. We hadn't been on one in over a month. I shouldn't let him have such a way with me, but what could I do? I could put up a fight, say no, and stomp off, but I'd be no better than the Polack back in the music room.

And yet, my pride won out in the end. There was no way I'd let Alfred know just how much of a control he had over me. I punched Alfred on the shoulder and backed away. "I'm holding you to that promise."

He laughed, not even rubbing his shoulder. "Of course you would. I'll pick you up tomorrow at six."

"Six?" I repeated.

"Uh huh," he nodded. "Why? Is there a problem with that?"

"I have to be here at six and help with any final preparations. I have to make sure everything is right on schedule such as the catering, the decorations, the sound, the lights, and all of the volunteers." My head whirled just thinking about it.

Alfred's shoulders sagged. "Aw…I wish I had known. I made dinner reservations."

"Yo-you w-what?" I sputtered. My face blossomed into a red tomato again.

Alfred's face was quickly becoming red as well. He looked away while rubbing the back of his head. That was always the first sign he was nervous. "Well, the Prom has food and what not, but the buffet isn't romantic."

"How do you know if I want romantic?" I asked slowly.

"I could tell by t he books you read," he replied. My eyes widened in surprise. "I mean, when I came over and you showed me your room that first time, I looked in case I was going to get you something for your birthday."

"You did, though." I recalled the loving gift of a watch that I always wore now.

"Yeah, but, you know… I just…" He sighed again. "Look if you have too much to do then I can cancel them."

A romantic night out with Alfred on Prom night gone in a second. All because of my position as head of the Student Body. I recalled last year how my senior had dumped all of the responsibilities on me and left to be with his girlfriend. I hadn't thought it was particularly nice of the boy, but he had worked so hard and deserved the time off. At the time, I vowed I wouldn't do the same to whomever would become my Vice President, but after being in my senior's shoes, I thought I damn well deserved a night with Alfred.

My eyes flickered to Alfred's neck again. He deserved some happiness too.

"Six o'clock sounds lovely," I said, looking him in the eyes.

I never knew I had the ability to make someone _that_ happy. It was rather uplifting to see his smile erupt and then have him pick me up like some child. Despite my pathetic protests, we ended up kissing and holding one another longer than we had in some time. It was the best reward for all of my hard work. For both of us.

* * *

Prom usually made girls giddy in a fevered frenzy and the boys nervous, but excited to see their beautiful dates so dolled up. While I would not be seeing a glamorous model in a stunning dress, I would've gladly traded her when I saw Alfred on my doorstep in a tuxedo. Put a top hat on him and give him a cane and I might have broken my resolve and just jumped him right there in from of my parents.

But as it was, I just merely grinned, invited him in, and finished getting ready. He had arrived early, a rare feat. Color me impressed. I half-expected him to also come bearing a corsage, but luckily he didn't. When he started to follow me to my room, I reminded him that my parents were home and walked away. Somehow seeing that puppy dog pout made me feel strong. I was enjoying teasing the lad. It was pay back now.

After I had finished, I rejoined my parents and Alfred. I could tell from Alfred's beet red face and intense gaze upon me that I was to his liking. I had to avert my eyes as his eyes looked as if they were undressing me.

My mother gushed over how grown-up I was looking; fixing every crease I had in my tie and undershirt. My father just looked on with an approving smile, but said nothing. He was still trying to fully understand American culture, especially high school matters. I wager this would be why they instantly took a shine to Alfred as he provided them with more than enough information about his home country.

So when we left together, they were none the wiser. We had lied, saying we were meeting up with a few friends from school to eat at a diner. But really, Alfred had taken to me to an authentic Italian restaurant. He claimed it was all on him since he had some money left over from his weekend job he had gained over the winter break. While he wasn't on the best of terms with his father, the man had thrown a small job his way to help him save up for college. I felt touched that Alfred had pulled that saving money out to spare some of it on me.

Most of the time it was the both of us venting about the end of the semester and how unfair it's been we haven't had as much time as we'd like. I could feel my shoulders losing the tension that had been on them for months and relief fill me. It was the least stressed I had been and I was glad it was all because of Alfred's doing. I'd hate it if were for some other reason.

Time passed and we found ourselves arriving at the school shortly before the dance started. I had left Kiku in charge of preparing everything and, judging from the fact that the building hadn't burned down and there weren't any crying teenagers, it seemed he had done a fine job. Sure enough, when I got inside, I was amazed at how perfect the entire set-up had turned out. The colored lights were swinging haphazardly around the ceiling and along the walls, the glittering stars that hung from the ceiling were sparkling, and the first band was playing right on time. I smiled; proud that Kiku had proved he was a capable Vice President, possibly the next President.

"Wow! This place is hoppin'!" Alfred exclaimed. He put his arm around my shoulder, but I brushed it off. "Sorry, I forgot."

"It's ok. Would you excuse me? I should relieve Kiku from his post. I gather he must want a moment." I looked around the crowd to see if I could spot the Asian, but he didn't seem to be around our general vicinity. I feared getting closer to the stage as it looked like a mosh pit was bound to happen.

"Sure. We'll meet up shortly before our set, okay?" Swiftly, he gave me a kiss on the cheek. I moved to punch him in the face, but he had slipped away into the crowd. All I heard was his laugh.

Damn him.

* * *

It had been an hour into the Prom and the dance had only managed to fill up even more. The last of the students had arrived by now or were in line for their pictures. Kiku was grateful for the break I gave him, especially since I was in charge of telling couples that they could _not_ grind and that this was a _respectable_ school. Bloody wankers.

But as time wore on, it began to dawn on me that all of these people were soon going to be listening to me and my band play jazz up on stage. I had better get on their good side or else they might boo me off the stage. No one minded that I backed off. To pass the time, I searched for my boyfriend through the throng of people. It wasn't hard as he was laughing it up with some of his football friends. While all the men had their tuxedo jackets already off and around their shoulders, Alfred was still in his. The majority of the junior class had gathered around him to offer him compliments on how dashing he looked.

Although I knew I was the only one who could say he looked more than dashing. He looked good enough to eat.

With a light tap, I reminded Alfred that we had to prepare to go on. He bid farewell to his friends and followed me to the music room to gather our instruments. We were surprised to find Francis and Felix there before us. Matthew had already taken his instrument. Accompanying Felix was a long-haired brunette named Toris.

"Toris!" Alfred exclaimed. He rushed forward and gave the younger boy a bear hug. "It's been ages, dude! How've you been?"

"I'm fine," Toris laughed. "I see you haven't changed one bit."

"Naw. When do I ever? Stilling growing your hair out?"

"Of course."

Felix and I were both watching with jealousy in our eyes. Alfred, finally remembering I was there, explained that Toris was a neighborhood friend of his that moved away during middle school. They hadn't seen each other since because Toris had changed schools.

"But I've known him longer!" Felix proclaimed, putting an arm around Toris'. They gave each other a smile much like the ones Alfred and I exchange.

I held out my hand. "A pleasure to meet you. I'm Arthur Kirkland."

"Alfred's boyfriend," Francis quickly said after I finished my introduction.

Before I could spin around, Toris shook my hand with a nervous laugh. "It's ok. Felix already told me."

"What? Th-that's not! How did?" I turned to Alfred with accusing eyes, but he held up his hands.

"Don't look at me," he said with wide eyes. "They just figured it out on their own."

"Yes, well, it wasn't that hard," Francis sighed. "Now let's get going."

In a flash, I was wheeling the grand piano to the stage with the rest of the members lugging theirs with them. I heard our name being announced to the crowd and, before I knew it, the entire student body was ready and waiting for me to play. I felt their eyes on me. Most of these people didn't like me because I had all the power of the school and used it quite viciously from time to time. Others didn't know or care who I was.

But all of that didn't matter. The minute Alfred stepped onto the stage, the crowd burst into applause. He and Francis took front stage while Matthew and I remained in the back. Felix took up the side as his drum kit was meant to compliment my piano in size.

The band turned to me, ready to see if I was ready. I could feel my fingers shaking and all of the blood rush out of my body. What in God's name was I thinking? I couldn't do this. I wasn't good at entertaining people, just scolding them. Even if the crowd was partially there to cheer on Alfred, most were looking for any chance to put me down. Slowly, the feeling of flight crept up my spine.

"Arthur," I heard Alfred whisper. Felix and Matthew began their opening notes. My head twitched like a robot on stiff hinges to look at Alfred. "Just look at me, okay? Don't even look at the crowd. You'll be fine."

He winked at me and put the mouthpiece to his lips. Automatically, my fingers fell upon the piano's keys. All around me I heard a beautiful harmony of jazz fill the auditorium accompanied by Francis' bass voice. Alfred swayed his hips from side to side, closing his eyes, and just falling into the music. I followed his lead, just remembering what it was like to play; do something that made me happy.

The first song ended, then the second, and then the third was over. We had two dancing songs in the beat of New Orleans jazz and then slowed it down to smooth jazz for a nice slow dance. When we finished, the crowd cheered loudly for us. I could see Francis blowing kisses to the girls and Felix waving to Toris in the crowd. Matthew and I were smiling sheepishly from the back. But Alfred had slipped up to the microphone.

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!" he shouted, causing the students to erupt in cheers. The football players even chanted his name. "Thank you for listening to the first performance of And All That Jazz! But we're not done yet!"

I snapped my head over to Alfred. No. I told my body that we would only do three songs. Three songs was the limit my nerves could take. It was a miracle I made it through the first song, let alone three. Besides, I only knew three. We had never practiced for a fourth.

"This is a special song that me and the band wrote to our leader, Arthur," Alfred continued. He turned to smile at me. "Well, actually, I wrote it for him. Because you see today is Arthur's and my fifth month of dating and I wanted it to be extra special for him!"

I swear I died right then. This recollection I'm giving right now is from the grave.

Alfred took his saxophone as Francis returned to the microphone. I remained seat as the band started to play a slow and soft piece. I don't remember most of the words, save for the chorus.

_Emerald Paradise.  
I sink into your bliss.  
Spring breeze all around me.  
Only in your Emerald Paradise._

That. Bloody. Wanker. He wrote a song about my eyes?

Well, it could be worse, I thought. He could be singing about my eyebrows. And yet the effect remained the same when the song was over. While some people cheered and called out compliments of how cute we were, I was still a dead man. All of my power was gone and come Monday morning I'd be the laughing stock among the boys. Now I had no authority to tell them to pull their pants down. Oh God, they'd probably pull them down thinking I'd like to see their ugly asses.

Alfred had just ruined my life in one swift (yet touching) moment.

* * *

We returned the instruments to the music room after the fourth song was done. I hadn't said a word the entire way. No one else did. Even Alfred, surprisingly enough. I figured he'd boast about how wonderful he was or something along the lines to show off to the others. Everyone else but me. I was far from impressed right now.

The others escaped quickly, leaving Alfred and me alone in a very awkward situation. I took a deep breath, turned, and walked right past Alfred to the door.

"You're not even going to thank me?" Alfred asked.

"Thank you?" I turned on my heel. "You just ruined my life!"

"What? Arthur, will you get over that? I told you, none of this matters in the long run!" He waved his arms out towards me. "You will graduate in two weeks and never see these guys again! So if someone picks on you, fuck them!"

I grit my teeth. "It isn't that easy, Alfred. A lot of people from this school have been accepted into the same college as I have."

Alfred shrugged. "So? There will be hundreds of people at that school. I highly doubt a few assholes from this tiny academy will be that much of a bother to you. And if they are, then they need to grow up because they're in college now."

I looked down, trying to come up with something to say, but I couldn't stay mad at Alfred for too long. I could see that his adrenaline was coming down with my reaction. It wasn't the one he wanted, that was for sure. But he had to understand that I was not about to run into his arms and kiss him like this were all some Hollywood movie. I had just had my relationship revealed before everyone and he hadn't asked for my permission.

"Wow, well, anyways…," Alfred grumbled. He was in an ugly mood now. "Happy five months or whatever. I thought you'd like it if I wrote a song about you, for you, and had it played for you."

"Yes, that is quite romantic and lovely… BUT DID IT HAVE TO BE IN FRONT OF EVERYONE?" I snapped.

Alfred sighed. "Yes, Arthur. Because I can't _take_ this anymore! You're my boyfriend and I don't care who knows. Why is it such a big deal, other than your image?"

"Because!" I bit my tongue as I blushed. Alfred looked at me expectantly. "Because… it was ours and only ours… I didn't…want anyone else to know."

Warm arms embraced me and he pulled me close. In moments, his lips were on my face and he whispered something that sounded an awful lot like "cute" in my ear. I sure hope for his sake he did not just call me cute.

"You know," Alfred whispered. "I should be the one mad at you. You didn't even remember what today was and I even hinted at it yesterday."

I sighed, guilt threatening to steal away this moment. "I know. I was just...so busy. I'm sorry."

But again, Alfred laughed it off. He laughed everything off. Nothing could bring him down. It felt like his arms had wrapped themselves fully around me while mine could barely go around his large build. He kept kissing by my ear, neck, chin, cheek, lips.

I couldn't fight back even if I wanted to. It was catching up to me. My boyfriend had just taken me out on a very romantic date, we played beautiful music together, he had written a song for me and then proceeded to perform it, and was now kissing me. Not to mention, he was still in that tuxedo that made him far too good for my heart to take. It needed to come off now.

My brain interjected that our first sexual moment would not take place in the music room. Well, I thought. There are _other_ ways we can make love without us penetrating the other.

_Love_.

I stopped Alfred. "I want to know…," I whispered feeling his lips on my neck. "What do you…think of me…?"

"What do you mean?" he said into my neck. I could feel his fingers begin to undo my tie.

"Alfred… I…I love you." I had said it. Did I mean it? I'd be crazy not to.

He stopped to lift his head and look at me. His eyes were warm and unafraid, his smile inviting me into him. I thought for a moment he'd start kissing me again, but instead he just brushed my hair back. His hands caressed my face for a time.

Then, he whispered, "I love you too."

I fell into his arms, kissing and gripping him. He loved me back. I couldn't be contained now. He lifted my feet up off the ground and pushed me against the grand piano. A few keys tinkled in the air, but this time they didn't awaken me and stop me from going further. Instead, I pushed Alfred's jacket off, letting my hands run down his broad shoulders and along his biceps. A rush of cold air hit my chest as he undid my shirt, but then his warm tongue was on my skin.

I shuddered a sigh, falling back onto the piano. More keys sounded out into the empty room as Alfred pushed down my pants. His hands moved over my hardening penis and I gasped in pleasure. I wanted him to just grab me right there. But instead he busied himself with my abdomen. I found that it was becoming increasingly difficult to focus on removing Alfred's pants while my head swirled at the motions of that wet tongue on my hot skin.

But then he was naked before me. I gasped as my eyes settled on a long thin scar across his midriff, shortly above his belly button. My fingers reached for it, but he pulled them away with whispers of another lie. It was not okay. But, given the moment, I'd rather focus on his hands pulling me into a sitting position on the piano's keys as he moved closer to my hard self.

Somewhere, in the back of my mind, I was amazed that Alfred didn't press to go all the way. However, given that neither of us came prepared, I think he took that into account. On the other hand, I was just old fashioned and preferred a couple's first time to be in bed, along with proper protection and lubrication.

In a moment, Alfred's large hands were around my hard length. He pressed his own throbbing self against mine. My head rolled forward, I gasped for air, and he called my name. Our breathes mingled, unable to kiss for lack of air. He rubbed us together, a steady rhythm like that of the lovely song from earlier. What was it about? Something with my eyes?

I searched for his and found them half-lidded with lust. He was watching me. Always watching me. Why was that? He cupped the back of my neck in his free hand to make sure I didn't move away from his gaze. A small smile wormed its way onto his face. I followed his lead, wrapping both of my arms around his neck. He came forward with a sloppy kiss, but a kiss nonetheless.

My fingers scratched down his rough back, amazed that a person's body could feel so smooth and hard. Alfred's free hand caressed my face and down my sides, coming to a rest on my hip. I could feel his fingernails pressed into my skin, probably leaving a mark. That caused me to buck up into his hand. A light smile was on his lips as he continued to kiss and rub us together. My God, I was going insane.

The rhythm sped up and I moaned into his mouth. He pulled away, gasping my name. My toes curled. The piano played a lovely tune to the sound of our sex. It was so short, but I chalked that up to being our first time. When I came in his hands he gave a rather unattractive grimace to the sticky cum between his fingers. I, however, had laid down spread eagle on the piano.

"Happy 5 month…," I whispered to the beautiful boy above me. He looked at me and smiled.

"I love you," he said. He lay atop me gently, cradling my head in his clean hand, and kissed me with more feeling than I've ever felt.

We were in love. Nothing, not even the guilt that I had just desecrated Roderich's piano, could take that away from us. And, as much as I hated to admit Alfred was right about anything, he was. If anyone joked about my relationship with Alfred, I'd flip them the bird and walk away knowing that I still had power. Maybe not over them, but I at least with someone that mattered most.

* * *

_Hoshiko2_'s cents: LONG CHAPTER IS LONG! I apologize for the length if it bothered anyone, but it happened. :\

In any case, I have now given Kanta all of the requests of her prompt. Now I'm just going to ask her for random things to throw in along with the set storyline I have already mapped out.

Props to samishii_kami for her song title. Originally she sent me the name as a possible name for the band, but the minute I saw it I got the idea for this chapter. Well, aside from the smut. The smut was decided on long long ago. But the content for this chapter comes from "Emerald Paradise".

Man, I wish my Prom was this good. The only good thing about it was the damn dress. Mine was pretty bitchin', I have to say.

Anyways, much love for the reviews as always. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!


	6. Chapter 6

It didn't take until even Monday for the events of Prom to catch up to me.

I woke up the following morning with a smile on my face the morning after, still feeling Alfred's hands all over me. Even after our intimate moment, he kept me close and steered me back out to the dance room. We got a few dances in together, even one slow and close, until Prom was up. Sadly, I didn't get to say good night as I was part of clean-up duty. When I got home, I took my jacket off and saw the hickey mark Alfred had left on my collar-bone. My face flared up as I cursed the boy, a smile on my face.

But after I washed up and headed downstairs, my parents turned to me with worried looks.

"Arthur, may we have a word with you?" my mother asked. I sat at the table with my morning tea and nodded. "We…we received a phone call from a parent this morning. Apparently their child told them some disturbing news and they wanted to confirm with us."

My eyes widened. "Was someone hurt?"

"No," my mother said quickly. "No, nothing like that. It's…about you."

"Me?" I repeated.

"And Alfred."

The room dropped in degrees. My mother continued to stare at me. She didn't look particularly upset or troubled. I half-expected her to start crying, fearful that the Kirkland name was tarnished by my relationship. But she said nothing. She wasn't judging.

My father, however, stepped up behind her and slid his hands along the back of the chair. His gaze was harsh and unforgiving. I looked away, regretting that my movement had just given me away. I heard my parents take a deep breath.

"We've been dating since December," I started. "But…I've fancied him since we were freshmen. He's had an infatuation with me since middle school…when we first met."

"And what's this about a band?" my mother asked. "You even performed?"

I sucked in some air through my teeth. "Yes… We're in a jazz band. Alfred plays saxophone and I'm the pianist."

My mother actually smiled slightly, but my father only gripped the chair tightly. I glanced at him to see his face turning slightly pale. He may have enjoyed my playing when I was younger, but when Will first made it big with his writing, my father talked about how it wouldn't last. He didn't trust artists or their fame. He constantly worried that Will would show up on our doorstep, penniless and without a job. If I followed the same route with my band, he would worry about the same thing with me.

"Son," my father said suddenly. I snapped upright. "You're eighteen now. We have no jurisdiction over your life. We have to trust that we raised you well enough for you to know to make the right decisions. So if you think that your relationship is…healthy or if you believe this band is…conducive to your future, then all we can do is support you and have faith."

I felt the world tilt back to the center with those words. My mom smiled, putting her hand on mine. My lips tickled as I gave them back a small smile. I had to admit that when my family was uprooted to America, I stopped confiding in my parents anything personal. It had been quite a while since I felt as close to them as I did that moment.

"So, when can we see your band perform?" my mother asked. She could barely contain her happiness at the prospect of seeing her youngest performing in front of an audience again.

"Oh, uh. I don't know," I said nervously. I moved to sip my tea as my face heated up. "Alfred is in charge of saying when we perform. He wanted to come over and talk with me about it during the week."

"Hold on a moment." My father moved to sit next to my mother, directly across from me. "While we can't say anything about your relationship, I would like to lay down a rule. If you two are alone in the house, I forbid you two from doing anything sexual."

"Dear," my mother started, but my father held up his hand.

"This is the only rule I'm putting down. This is still _my_ home and I don't approve of my son, any of my sons, having intercourse under this roof."

I shook my head. "No, I understand. I won't."

Dad smiled slightly. "It seems you're handling this in a mature way."

"Yes well," I sighed. "It's not me you have to worry about. It's Alfred."

* * *

Monday morning came with a steel cloud over my head. I walked with lead feet and my eyes downcast. All of their stares were directed at me. They were thinking the worst of me. It felt like hours until I reached my locker. There are many things that I expected to find on my locker when I reached it; graffiti, obscene words, even threats. But when I reached it and found that it was unharmed, I stepped back in shock as if it had been vandalized.

Then there were the squeals of giggling girls behind me. I turned in anticipation of being attacked by homophobic classmates and found myself pushed up against my locker. Three girls' faces were pressed in close to me; their smiling faces quite the opposite of what I had imagined I'd meet first thing in the morning.

"Arthur!" the tall brunette exclaimed. I remembered her name instantly.

"E-Elizaveta!"

"We saw your performance Saturday! Emerald Paradise is an amazing band!" The other two girls nodded at her side.

I glanced at them, remembering who they were instantly. One was a transfer student from a public school. Her name was Angelique and I always found that she was far younger than she really was. Perhaps it was because her hair was always in pigtails and she looked so clumsy. The girl next to her had short blonde hair and meekly stared at me from the side of Elizaveta's arm. I believe her name was Lily.

"T-the name of the band is And All That Jazz," I started and cursed inwardly that I accepted that hideous name.

"Oh… Well _everyone_ is talking about that song!" Elizaveta continued.

"That and your relationship with Alfred!" Angelique finished. "We all love it!"

My eyes widened. "L-love it? I find that hard to believe."

"Believe it! It's true! We want to know when you guys are performing again!" The girls were closing in again.

I held up my hands to stop them, hoping they'd back off just a little bit. "I have to talk with Alfred, but…maybe we could play a few songs at graduation."

The girls screamed in excitement. My hands covered my ears as a few straggling students scrambled away in fear. How I wish I could have joined them. These girls, for as kind as their words were, were starting to grate on my nerves and I was starting to look for a faster way out of the situation.

"You!"

That wasn't the escape I had in mind.

The girls parted to reveal six football players standing in a close knit group behind them. They were fuming, with clenched fists and angry eyes. Ah, now that was the reaction I had been dreading.

"You! What did you do to our Quarterback?" the tallest man yelled. His first name eluded me, but I knew his last name was Smith. He was the Receiver. "You did something to him you little _faggot_!"

I backed up against my locker, terrified what was about to happen. I gripped my backpack. "I didn't do anything to him."

"Liar!" Smith shouted. He came at me, the girls screamed, and I was slammed against my locker. "You must have done something to him! He's straight! Get it? STRAIGHT!"

"Ah, well, they say pasta is straight until it's heated up." Oh bloody hell, my mouth was uncontrollable sometimes.

Smith threw me to the ground like a rag doll and, with his muscles, I was. Two other men came at me, their hands grabbing my clothes. I swung my backpack, kicking, and throwing random punches. They backed off until I was standing again. I believe two other players were Linebackers because they tackled me down to the floor.

For a few moments, my eyes were dotted with darkness and bright spots. My chest heaved as I gasped for air. Then, Smith came and started to punch me in the face and stomach. I tried to defend myself, but my arms and legs were pinned. I could hear the girls screaming my name and trying to call for help, but one voice above all rang in my ears.

"ARTHUR!"

Smith stopped temporarily to look up. My vision was still hazy, but I arched my head back to see an upside-down Alfred standing at the other end of the hallway. Angelique had run off and brought him to see the fight.

"Al…," I called. At least, that's what I tried to do, but my voice was nothing but a hoarse whisper.

Something in Alfred changed. I had never seen more malicious eyes. He came at full speed towards his team mates, barreling into Smith. The Linebackers sat up in amazement, allowing me to free my arms. I shoved them away, scrambling for Alfred. But he was untouchable.

Normally, Alfred was so calm and carefree, with a kind face and a sweet smile. But right now, his eyes were bulging and his face was red with anger. He lavished harder punches on Smith than the boy had on me. From deep in his throat, I heard him growl. And I was scared.

"Alfred!" I screamed. "Stop! Stop it right now!"

"JONES!"

Alfred stopped, his fist still raised in the air and the other clenching Smith's shirt collar. He looked up in surprise. I think he didn't even realize how irate he had become. I looked up too and found Kiku standing next to the Principal. Alfred looked from Kiku to the Principal and then back to Kiku. He looked confused and betrayed. Kiku only looked away.

"Alfred F. Jones, Arthur Kirkland. Come with me."

* * *

I saw the Principal after I visited the Nurse's Office. Luckily, my face wasn't too bruised up and nothing had broken in my chest. The nurse said I was very lucky, but I didn't feel it.

I had just seen my boyfriend, the boy I had trusted my heart with, turn into some monster. No one had warned me of the intense fear that I could feel towards him. For awhile, I was in shock as I waited outside the Principal's Office. In a few moments, Alfred would come out and I would have to face him. But how would I?

Would I slink away if he tried to touch me? He had just saved me, charging in like a hero. I couldn't hurt him after that. He was probably as scared as I was. If I had seen Alfred being attacked, I'm sure I would have tackled those men and beat them senseless too.

Still, my mind wandered down a dark road. Matthew told me Alfred and his father got into violent fights. He said they threw things and got into physical fights. Did Alfred become that _thing_ when he got that mad, mercilessly attacking his father? I just couldn't fathom it. He was so gentle with me, always holding me close and feeling so warm against my side when we snuggled.

Then, I caught my breath. What if I ever made him that mad? Would his fists turn on me?

The door opened. I looked over as Alfred came out. He looked pretty sour, but smiled sheepishly at me. "Hey," he said quietly.

I stood up, mentally preparing myself for anything. A twinge of guilt ran through me that I had to steel myself to my own lover.

"Hey," I whispered.

"Are you okay?" Alfred reached out his hand. I didn't move, didn't arch into his hand as he touched my cheek. But he smiled and I knew things were fine.

I rushed forward into his arms. "You stupid, stupid git. You could've been hurt."

Alfred sighed as his arms encircled me. He protected me. Me. A boy most people passed by in the hallway with uncaring eyes or unfamiliar glances. Some even thought I was just, as Alfred said, a Grammar Nazi. A Student Body President Nazi. The boy who controlled the school with his rules and regulations. And, now, a faggot.

But Alfred had risked so much for me. He probably would never be back on the football team, had lost respect from his peers, and now had a brawl on his personal record. But, he had gained more of my love.

"That doesn't mean a thing to me," he whispered in my ear.

"_Nothing_ matters to you," I said with a laugh.

"You do."

The door opened and the Principal called me in. When Alfred released me I felt vulnerable and cold. He smiled as I walked in, the door shutting behind me.

* * *

My parents had been called and I was to be picked up from school. Alfred's own had been alerted. I worried for their reaction, but Alfred didn't seem to care. He had received a week's worth of suspension, getting off "easy" because he had defended me. The other players involved were suspended until school got out. Smith was to be kicked off the team. I felt no pity for an ugly man like him.

"My parents found out," I said to Alfred. We had wandered to an empty classroom so we could be alone. Neither of us knew how our parents would react to the news and we worried we'd be apart for a long period of time. I took a seat on top of the desk and Alfred sat in the accompanying chair. "About us."

"Oh? What'd they say?"

"That it's okay, but…we can't _do_ anything at the house anymore." I couldn't look at him, my face red.

"Oh."

He looked down at his hands, clenching the seat between his legs. I remembered what he had said. That _I_ mattered.

"Alfred," I whispered. He looked up at me. "Why do I matter to you? I never matter to anyone… I'm the youngest of three, a strict 'party pooper' and…a tight-ass wanker… Why…How could you…?"

There are many reactions that a person could give to a question like that. One of disgust, or casual indifference, or even one of more affection than my heart could handle. Whatever his reason, I didn't want to hear it. I just wanted to stay in that bliss. That pure and unaffected bubble.

I grabbed Alfred by the tie of his uniform suddenly, pulling him up to meet my lips as I bent to kiss him. His eyes were wide as I kept mine clenched closed.

This was all a dream. Alfred had no lies, no fake smiles, and no vicious eyes. He was the same kind and joyful boy that I had fallen for when he kissed me in the music room. The same one that caressed my face with such fondness I could feel my heart stutter as we made love on a piano.

And so, I too lied.

* * *

_Hoshiko2_'s cents: This chapter is based on a real experience of mine. I wish I had been Alfred in that scenario.

Sorry for such a sad chapter after such a romantic one (and a short one after a long one). The next chapter won't be so happy either, but there will be more UST. Ah, and I hope no one minds, but since I'm terrible with coming up with names, I used the names for Seychelles and Lichtenstein from my favorite fanfic series. I hope the author doesn't mind. If she does, let me know and I'll change them, ok?

A few questions I'd like to answer here that some people asked me. One, Arthur's brothers are Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland. I picked their jobs off of what the country's economies are best at. (Their names took WAY too long to pick) Two, Alfred's problems at home are meant to parallel the actual economic problems America faces at home. And three, Alfred is casual about his problems back home because I based him off of how America takes his things. I mean, that's how he is. He just laughs shit off.

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday. I have a special chapter coming up for chapter 8 that'll be a step back in time since I realized a few important holidays were totally missed in the time jump. No, not Christmas. It's one for couples, if that's a good enough hint. ;3

Last scene based off of this picture: http:/ /img .photobucket .com/ albums/ v735/ hoshiko2/For%20LJ/ Forbidden. jpg (no spaces)


	7. Chapter 7

Things at school were never predictable, but I could always count on my officers in the Student Body to be so. However, when I came into the office Tuesday morning and found Kiku wasn't there, I was caught off guard. No one knew where he was, but figured he was sick. I remembered seeing him briefly yesterday after the fight had broken up, but he didn't look ill. Then again, I was only at school for less than two hours before I went home. And then to the hospital.

My parents threatened to "sue the pants off of those bloody Yanks", but I calmed them down. With my graduation in a few weeks, I'd prefer the matter drop entirely. Again, I was told how lucky I was that nothing terrible had happened to me. Nothing terrible, huh? Aside from the fact I was the laughing stock of the school, American jocks were taking swipes at my face and my boyfriend could become violently enraged, yeah, nothing too terrible.

The doctor checked my chest first and found many bruises, but nothing broken. My face, though, fared far worse. I had a disgusting black eye and my cheek had gotten a nasty cut from Smith's nails. Judging from the terrible ringing in my ears I'd say the bastard got a few punches in that area too. The doctor slapped a gauze over the cut on my face and sent me home.

Alfred called that night, but couldn't talk for long. He said his parents now knew about our relationship as well, but could care less. I was relieved that they hadn't taken it the wrong way, but that didn't save him for his punishment. With him home for a week that meant he'd be home with his father for a week.

So it didn't surprise me in the least that he threw rocks at my window Monday night, begging to come up and be with me, if only for a few hours. I laughed, calling him clingy because he couldn't bear to be away from me for a day, but I knew the real reason. I could see it in the limp Alfred now sported.

"I fell," he lied.

I looked away. I wasn't sure how much longer these lies could continue, but I really couldn't push him. He had just saved me so I owed him. I'd give him kisses and a distraction from his home life instead.

I always thought that Alfred just hid his fights with his father, nothing else. He was always so open and bold with his intentions with me, especially when he pushed me onto my bed and claimed my mouth. I had to remind him that not only did that hurt from my bruised ribs, but my parents were home. He changed course and talked about nothing while I listened.

But in our entire time together last night, he never once mentioned that something else had happened after the fight ended. Another one had just begun.

"Um, are you Arthur Kirkland?"

I turned to the voice asking for me. I was just tidying up my desk as class had gotten out. A tiny Asian girl with long black hair stood before me. Her one curly strand gave her away as to who she was.

"Meiling, right?" I stared. "If I remember correctly you're Kiku's girlfriend."

She nodded. "Yes… I'm her."

"If you're looking for Kiku, I haven't seen him."

This time, she shook her head. "No, I know he's at home. And he's not sick. He's upset."

I raised an eyebrow. "Why? Did something happen?"

"He's so upset because of Alfred." She started to play with her hair as she looked at her feet. She glanced up at me. "You…do know about this, right?"

I must have looked as confused as I felt. Meiling looked at me in shock. "You mean, Alfred didn't tell you?"

Slowly, I shook my head as realization hit me. While it wasn't a flat out lie, Alfred had still hid the truth from me. I wasn't sure what hurt more; a lie or a hidden truth.

"Alfred and Kiku got into a _huge_ fight after those football guys beat you up," Meiling continued. "Kiku went to get the Principal to stop the fight, only… I think Kiku told the Principal that Alfred started it, though. Alfred took this as a betrayal and fought back. Now they won't even speak to each other."

"Oh bloody hell!" I exclaimed. I ran a hand through my hair. "This is ridiculous! Kiku _knows_ Alfred wouldn't start a fight with his own mates."

"I think Kiku was scared," Meiling mumbled in a half-hearted attempt to defend her boyfriend.

So I defended mine right back. "Spare me. Even if Alfred was really as angry as people are making it out to be, that gives Kiku no right to point fingers at Alfred. If Kiku had fully understood the situation, he'd know that."

"He did understand it, though." Meiling looked at me in a challenging way. Such a sweet looking girl; it startled me to see her begin to look even remotely threatening. But, as I learned yesterday, you just couldn't tell with people. "But people get scared. You weren't scared of Alfred?"

I hesitated. If I were to be honest, yes, yes I was quite scared. But, I was also touched. No one had ever fought to protect me before. And it wasn't like anyone watching nearby even tried to stop the brawl. They just stood back and watched, waiting to see if it would go too far.

"No," I replied. I stood up quickly, startling Meiling as my chair hit the desk behind me. "Excuse me."

I marched out of the room, no longer wanting to be a part of this conversation. It would go down roads I'd rather not explore, although, my mind had already wandered down a violently angry pathway. I could handle Alfred hiding troubles at home. I convinced myself he only did that because he didn't want to be sad while around me and wanted me to be a source of comfort. But hiding a fight with his best friend from me? That, I couldn't stomach.

During lunch, I slipped into the boy's bathroom to call Alfred on my mobile. Three tries later and I gave up hope. I only hoped it was just his reception was too terrible for him to be reached. He certainly wasn't ignoring my calls or was in danger from his father.

For the remainder of the day I continued to lie to myself that everything was fine. "Just fine", as Alfred would tell me.

* * *

As soon as I got home, a note was there to greet me. My parents had a dinner meeting and would be home late so I was to fend for myself. With a sigh, I tried calling Alfred again and trudged into the kitchen. This day had not gone well. All day long, people gave me stares, sarcastically asking if I were all right, or not making eye contact with me. I threw my book bag down in resentment, as if it were the cause of all my problems.

Feeling particularly parched, I put on a tea kettle, waiting for it to boil, when there was a knock at my door. I let out a growl-like sigh. I wasn't in the mood to deal with people.

"Hello!" Alfred chirped when I opened the door.

My mouth fell open in surprise. "Al-Alfred! Why didn't you answer your mobile? I called four times today."

"Four?" He pulled his phone from the back pocket of his jeans. "Oh, so you did. Sorry, I never check this thing."

With a roll of my eyes, I pulled Alfred inside. "Then why do you even have the bloody thing?"

"Emergency reasons. Say, you got any food?" Without waiting for me to correct his grammar, he was off and into my kitchen. How could he move so fast with a limp?

I followed in fear for what little food there was still in the refrigerator, and there he was with his head in there. Alfred let out a satisfied noise as he retracted his head, holding a can of Coke in his hands. He smiled at me brightly.

"Do you put these in here for me now?" he asked. I nodded, watching as he cracked open the can. "Thanks Artie!"

He dipped his head back and chugged it as if his life depended on it. I watched his Adam's apple bob up and down, waiting for him to come back up for air. He finished with a loud, contented sigh, wiped his mouth on the back of his hand, and put the can on the counter.

"So why did you call me today?" he finally asked.

My arms instantly hugged themselves, as if I were cold. But I wasn't. My face was red and I had to look away. "When were you going to tell me about you and Kiku?"

There came that awkward silence that split us in two whenever Alfred was about to lie. He took a quick sip of nothing in the empty can. "What do you mean?"

"You two had an argument?" I offered. "It's all over school and everyone, but me, knew."

Alfred gave a nervous smile, but turned away from me. "Ah, it's stupid. I didn't want to bother you about it."

"Bo-bother me?" I stuttered. "How could it bother me? I was worried about you all day."

Alfred turned around, waving the soda can. "See! I worried you!"

"Alfred, that's what your boyfriend does," I started. "Care about you. I wouldn't say I love you if I didn't worry and care for you when you were upset or bothered."

He began to pace around the room. I glanced at his leg, anxious about it. "No, it's just stupid. Kiku was a fucking idiot."

"Alfred!"

"No! He was! How could he just run off to the Principal like that and say I was going to _kill_ someone?" He looked to me, seeing how shocked I was. Well, no one had said that. "I bet they didn't tell you that, did they? Everyone made Kiku out to be the good guy, but really he stabbed me in the back! So I fought back! He treated me like some monster when I was just protecting my boyfriend and SHIT!"

He slammed his hand holding the soda onto the counter and then flung the smashed can across the air so it hit the wall. I jumped back, my eyes wide. Alfred continued to pace, his hands in his hair, until he went to get another soda. I waited, saying nothing, hoping he'd calm down in some way that didn't involve me mucking up the situation any more than I already had. The tea kettle had started to hiss from the seam so I moved to turn off the stove.

Just like that, he was back to normal. He turned to me, the soda can to his lips, and smiled. It was a rather devious smile.

"What?" he asked. "Why're you looking at me that way?"

I blinked at him. "That way? Which way are you speaking of?"

Alfred slunk up towards me, causing me to take a few steps back. I was still slightly surprised by his outburst and unsure of his temper for the time being. He looked stable, but if I said one thing wrong he could explode in anger. I'd prefer to not be like that poor can, mercilessly flung to the wall after being smashed. The lad didn't know his own strength.

Suddenly I found myself against the counter. I stopped, but Alfred kept coming. He put his hands on both sides of me, his sly little smirk widening. My hands went up to stop him, resting on his chest. Surprisingly, his heart was beating fast, though I highly doubted it was because of our close proximity, but rather, from his tantrum a moment earlier.

He moved his leg between mine causing me to gasp. His arms wrapped around my shoulders, pulling me to his lips. Then, I started to think that Alfred was possibly bi-polar. First he was smashing soda cans and cursing out his best friend, the next he was pushing his leg between my crotch and kissing my neck. _Oh God_, he was kissing my neck.

I sighed, my fingers crawling up his jacket sleeve by the nails, and, cursing inwardly, arched my head back so he could have more access to my skin. Yes, take it all. Anything to make you calm down and not hit-

"Arthur," he whispered. I could feel his lips close around a spot near my artery and suck, teeth pulling at my skin in a lustfully playful manner. And damn if my legs didn't spread open for him.

His arms slid down around my waist, picking me up the moment my arms were around his neck. A noise of surprise escaped me. Alfred started to stumble out of the room, holding me, and my legs dangled. While normally, I'd blush at the reminder that I was a little shorter than the younger boy, I found myself blushing at something completely different. And that, I didn't mind, for once.

"Are your…parents…home…?" he whispered breathlessly.

I shook my head. "No…but… I don't expect you…to carry me up the stairs this way."

I must have been bi-polar as well. One moment I was in fear of Alfred, the next I was encouraging him to carry me up the stairs and ravage me on my bed. My father _had_ said no sex in the house, but I thought it better that he meant as long as they were home. I knew Alfred had too as he flipped me up and into his arms far too easily for my taste. Yes, he certainly didn't know his own strength.

I yelped out in surprise. While it was probably a lot more comfortable to be carried wedding-style up the stairs, it certainly lacked in masculinity status for me. I beat at his chest in feeble attempts to put me down, but he merely kicked my door open and moved inside. For a moment, I wondered if he'd toss me onto the bed, rip my clothes off, and literally jump me. That'd be semi-romantic; Alfred was a larger boy compared to me and I think my body would protest to having him jump on me. But the tossing and ripping of my clothes would be rather breath taking.

Sadly, there was no tossing or ripping. He set me down on my feet and kissed me deeply, his hands on my face. I cupped the back of his neck, my fingers in his hair. We stumbled back towards my bed until the back of my legs connected with the mattress. He lightly pushed me back, pulling first his glasses off, then his jacket and finally his shirt.

I frowned at the sight. The same scar I had seen Saturday was there, a perfect slice across his midriff. But there were plenty of healthy new bruises littering his sides and ribs. Suddenly, I felt awful for having ever mentioned my own injuries.

He came for me, all lustful eyes and aching hands, grabbing me and holding me close to his bare chest. I gasped in surprise, but welcomed it. I could hear the back of my mind scolding me for my easy actions, but there was something wrong. I could see it in Alfred's eyes. He was deeply troubled by Kiku's actions and by my attack the day before. And he wanted comfort from me.

It was nice to be wanted.

But suddenly, it got worse. Alfred clung to me, almost painfully. I hissed out, uncomfortable at his nails digging into me and the tight hold he had on my bruised torso. His lips were on my neck, biting me.

" 'on't…'ave me…," he mumbled. I strained to hear what he was saying. "Don't… leave me… Don't leave me… Don't go away…"

My eyebrows scrunched up in confusion. "Alfred? What're you talking about? I'm not leaving you."

"Don't." There. His voice cracked. I pushed him up off me and saw he was crying.

"Alfred!" I exclaimed in surprise. I moved for a tissue, but he held me.

It was as if I was a security blanket or a child's favorite plush. He cried into my shoulder, muttering the same phrase, while I sat there, rubbing his back and trying my best to soothe him. I had never seen Alfred more emotional, save for yesterday. But here he was. So even heroes like him cried.

My mind celebrated the fact he was actually trusting me enough with this type of behavior and I silently wished he was about to reveal to me what was wrong with home. But that was a horrible thought, wasn't it? "Just let it out," I whispered, ignoring that thought.

"Matt…He's…," Alfred chocked.

"What's wrong with Matthew?" My alarm was present on my face as I moved to look Alfred in the eyes. I wiped away his tears with my thumbs.

Alfred's lower lip trembled as he looked at me. Because his glasses were off, his blue eyes were much brighter. I could see everything in them. His fear, his weakness, his vulnerability. He was completely open to me. I could ask now. Ask and I'd receive, right? But at what cost? If Alfred finally felt he was able to trust me, I couldn't make the mistake and hurt him, making him scared to never open up to me again.

There was thin string connecting us that, most days, I felt as if I were the only one keeping a tight hold of. If I did anything that could jeopardize that string, where would we be?

No, I just took him in my arms and listened. Our thin thread just couldn't take a hit. It might not survive.

"My parents are divorcing," Alfred mumbled into my shoulder. I silently gasped, but said nothing. "They…they just can't take it anymore… But…they…They're splitting us up…"

I felt Alfred's nails dig into my shirt as he shuddered a cry into me. He and Matthew would be parting for the first time in their life. They had grown up together as twins and now.

"Are they moving far apart?" I asked, fearing that Alfred would move away.

My heart plummeted when Alfred nodded. "And…I won't…see Matt anymore… Only holidays and maybe a few weekends or something."

I began to think of my life without Alfred. It terrified me. He was always such a presence, even before we dated. Somehow, he would find ways to torture me, be it with a childish comment that sent my temper flaring or from his tongue in my mouth that sent my vital regions flaring. As if on instinct, I clung to Alfred in a vain attempt to keep him from leaving my arms.

He couldn't move.

"Mom's moving to at least two hours away," Alfred continued and I returned from my thoughts. "She wanted me, but…"

"But?" I hung to that word of hope.

"I…I told them I'd stay with dad."

Something in my heart snapped. I was torn between feeling relief Alfred wasn't moving away and pain that he had chosen to stay with the man that physically hurt him. Why would he put himself in that kind of danger? Then I remembered the previous day; Alfred had come charging in like some hero and protected me. He had probably been protecting Matthew his entire life. This wouldn't be any different.

"I did it…because I couldn't…be away from you." Alfred moved as my heart stammered in my chest so hard I think I went a little dizzy. He brushed back my bangs to stare at me.

"M-me?" I whispered.

He nodded. "And the band… We're just getting popular… I… want this to grow… You're the best thing to happen to me. I don't want to give it up after everything we've been through…"

I couldn't help the girlie smile that spread across my lips. Again, I kicked myself that I was so easily enraptured by this boy, but could you blame me? The way he stared, the powerful words he so easily expressed, and the mystery behind him was enough to make anyone stay in his arms.

And so I stayed.

* * *

It was a short while later that Alfred had managed to calm down. I got some water from downstairs and had ordered us some pizza. After such an emotional drain, neither of us were up to any sort of meal that required utensils. Alfred had redressed and was sitting on my bed, looking out the window that was opposite my bed. I caught myself staring as the light from the sunset had fallen across his face, masking all of his features in a heavenly gold.

His eyes were intently looking at the tree just out my window. I noticed two birds resting in a nest. Somehow, I knew Alfred was staring at them.

"We'll have to get a new member that can play a string instrument," Alfred said suddenly. He turned to smile at me with a knowingly smile. That damn fool knew I had been watching him.

Instead of making a scene, I came fully into the room. Trying to ignore the heat on my face, I handed Alfred the glass of water. "Well, there is always Roderich. He's awfully talented and very clever in music."

"Yeah!" Alfred's eyes lit up. He hadn't put back on his glasses so, again, those eyes. So intense. "And maybe we can ask him to write some of our songs! Like, we have the words down and all, but putting them together. None of us are really that well educated on it, ya know?"

I nodded, seeing, but not really looking at, something in my room. "That's why I'm going to take classes for writing music at college."

"You are?" While I couldn't see it, I knew there was a bright smile on Alfred's face. I knew because it had spread to mine. "Artie, that's so great!"

And there went the smile. "What did I tell you about calling me that?"

"That you love it." Alfred pulled me into his lap. I didn't fuss about the action, but I did about his idea of me giving any indication of ever once "loving" that nickname. I turned away so my back was to Alfred. He didn't mind as it gave him the perfect chance to hold me as if I really were some toy.

"My name is rather regal, thank you very much. I'd prefer it if you didn't change it into some colloquial word, especially that of some _pet_ name." I took pride in the moments I could be insufferably British.

Alfred only laughed. "Yes, King Arthur. But I'm not making it…whatever you said. I'm just making it intimate. I'm the only one who can call you Artie, which makes it special. Isn't that better than 'regal'?"

I said nothing as I watched the sunset. While he had a point, I still didn't like the nickname. Then I'd have to give him one and I really hated pet names. But Alfred said no more, choosing to hold me close and rub my arms rather than speak.

It was there that I felt at peace. I may not know everything about Alfred, but it felt like we had taken a step forward with each other. My only hope was that Alfred could now see that I was someone whom he could trust.

* * *

_Hoshiko2_'s cents: SO HIDE YOUR PEPSI, HIDE YOUR COKE, AND HIDE YOUR MT. DEW! /shot

Arthur can't even capture all of Alfred's eyes on his camera. SO INTENSE! /shot again

Before anyone goes off saying, "Alfred was so quick and Arthur was too easy!" I want you guys to remember something. Alfred was extremely emotionally upset. People can either be very closed off or very affectionate when they get this way (at least, that's what I've learned in my experience). Alfred is the type that becomes affectionate. And Arthur is trying to do whatever Alfred wants to keep the status quo. If he won't press Alfred for details of home, then he won't about a fight with him and Kiku. He'd rather just open his legs for him instead. :P

I hope someone out there has started to notice a parallel I've done with history and this AU. 3

One last bit, I'm starting an FST for this fic. COME ON IT'S JAZZ AND HETALIA! I TOTALLY HAD TO DO THIS! Now, this is my first FST _ever_, so I'm totally clueless on what songs to include. A few songs you guys recommended to me when I asked for 'em earlier are already under consideration, so no need to send the same ones. However, if you know any really good jazz songs that you want to see go in, please don't hesitate to send them my way. But no _La Vie en Rose_. That's already in. ;3


	8. Chapter 8

Somehow the band had managed to book a performance at graduation. I think it had something to do with a few of our female fans pushing the teachers to let us play, despite their hesitation at how controversial we were. Seeing as how much the band was really excited at the possibility of another performance, I might have dropped in a few words to the Principal as well. While I wasn't Valedictorian I had graduated with Honors. It would be foolish of the Principal to go against me a few days before my graduation.

Alfred practically exploded out of his skin when I broke the news that we had gotten a spot. Matthew was especially excited, seeing as it might possibly be the last performance we all have together. He had explained to everyone his and Alfred's situation with a heavy heart, but remembered to get everyone's mail addresses so that he could keep in contact. While the date hadn't been set yet for their mother's move, we had decided on holding a going-away party for Matthew.

First, though, came a day I was dreading. Graduation.

It hadn't always been that way. I used to count down the days until I could move out and get to college. Get that much closer to my goals in life. But then, a loud American came into my life and pointed out to me that I actually didn't know _what_ to do. Armed with nothing now, save for a fancy cloth over my shoulders that pointed out I was an honorific student, I was terrified to be leaving the halls I'd known for the past four years.

That and I didn't know what to do without Alfred constantly in my everyday life.

My mother called for me downstairs and I donned my cap and gown. As I came down the stairs, my family was in awe of how grown up I was. My brothers had flown in from out of town, state, country, to come and see me. I was touched by this fact, but they had already gone into mocking mode. My mother, lovely woman that is she, had decided she would take it upon herself to not only tell them of my relationship with Alfred, but also of the band.

Scott and Will always were the worst as their teasing bordered abusive, while Shane chose to stay out of everything. Shane normally just ignored my existence or punched me so hard I stumbled into a wall or something equally as hard. When my brothers tired of banter they always resorted to violence. Luckily, they were kind enough to spare me because of my still bruised chest.

It was all too soon, too fast. We were in the car and at the school before my mind had a moment to calm down. I was about to graduate. I couldn't. It wasn't my time. I wanted to stay.

_Alfred. The band._

"Arthur!" I turned to see Alfred waving for me by the auditorium. All graduates were to go there to wait, but since we were to perform after the walk out, I had to at least help set-up the piano.

I rushed over, happy to be away from my fussy mother and sarcastic brothers. Alfred, however, was more than eager to finally meet the infamous jerks.

"Hey, are those your brothers?" he asked, his head craning up to look over mine.

"Yes, but who cares." I shoved Alfred back inside. "We'll have time for pleasantries later."

Alfred laughed as he moved to walk beside me through the auditorium. All around me, students gathered to say their farewells. Tears had already started, Yearbooks were passed around, and people formed their little circles in an attempt to never have it break. I didn't care for any of the few friends I had made. The only ones worth keeping were about to perform with me, or was the one holding my hand as we rushed out. Today, no one looked at our hands.

We ran down the hallways, Alfred's laughter bouncing off of the walls and my gown flowing around me. I had a grip on my cap as well, trying to keep up with the Jock that is my boyfriend. Suddenly, all of my nervousness escaped me. I ran away from all the fears of my departure. Alfred sucked it right out of me with that laugh and his hands and his very presence.

He stopped me just before we got to the music room and took me in his arms. I'm not quite sure what overcame us, but the same intense longing to kiss and hold tight to one another must have struck us both at the same time. Alfred pushed me against the locker and I pulled him close by his face. It wasn't meant to be anything other than a desperate attempt to keep everything as it was.

I wasn't graduating. We weren't parting. I wasn't moving an hour away from Alfred where he had to deal with all of his pain completely alone, no brother, no best friend, and no boyfriend.

"Alfred," I cried into his lips. I didn't, couldn't, leave him. He'd be so lonely. His lips couldn't always make smiles.

"Arthur," he breathed. But he stopped our kiss. He took my hands in his, smiling at me with his eyes closed, and moved back. "Come on… The others are waiting."

I could care less about the others.

* * *

The procession marched out onto the field. Because of such a lovely day the teachers moved for it to be outside. In the distance I could see Matthew, Felix, and, of course, Alfred standing by their instruments applauding as Francis and I made our way out. I looked away and out into the crowd. My mother was crying and waving at me while my dad stood next to her, taking pictures and ignoring the constant tugs on his arm.

I figured that my father and brothers were so calm about the entire ordeal because this was the fourth time they had all undergone a graduation. Shane was the first to graduate the American way, so there went the hopes that I was doing anything special or different. The only unique thing was that I would soon be performing.

After the procession finished, the Principal gave his opening speech. Then, the Valedictorian stood to give theirs. I tried to be respectful and listen to what he was saying, picking up pieces of learning acceptance and understanding others or some other kind of bull shit, but my eyes traveled to an Asian sitting in the crowd. I gulped, seeing that it was Kiku.

He had come after all. I had sent him an invitation and he had RSVP'd, but after his fight with Alfred never went unresolved, I worried if he'd appear. When he returned to school, he didn't speak of the matter and stayed far away from the both of us at lunch. I mentioned graduation that he'd be there and we'd perform a song, but he merely brushed me aside. Something in me guessed that Meiling had told him of how I defended Alfred. Could Kiku really be mad at me for that?

If that were the case, then I had no further dealings with a boy like that. Kiku knew my feelings for Alfred were strong. He had simply protected me and, when Alfred was challenged, I protected him right back. Anyone that was going to hold any kind of grudge about it was no friend of mine. It pained me a bit to lose such a good friend and, maybe, in time, we'd mend our ways, but if whoever was Alfred's enemy was mine.

The Principal's voice on the loud speakers jolted me out of my thoughts. "We now have a special presentation by our school's new jazz band, Emerald Paradise."

My face flushed. Oh bloody hell, everyone now knew our band only for that song and thought that was the name? I preferred And All That Jazz over _that_ name.

Francis tugged on my sleeve as he passed me by. I followed with my head down as I heard my family applauding along with the crowd. A few parents were not too pleased, instantly knowing what band was about to perform. I just prayed they didn't know which two members was the gay couple.

I was quick to take my seat at the piano, sighing as I prepared for our first song. It was just between me, Felix, and Alfred as we played _Take 5_. Next was just me playing the piano with Francis singing _As Time Goes By_. Finally, I got to sit back and listen as the others played _The Way You Look Tonight_.

During our performance, no one in the crowd had reacted horribly as I thought they would. I watched them while the others played the last song. My family was in shock. A smile twitched at my lips at the prospect that I was finally, _finally_ able to do something better than my brothers. Something that got my dad to stop and see me for me. Not for the fourth son and, now, his only gay son.

While I was good at correcting grammar and proper dress manners, I wasn't particularly good at doing one thing. But this band, it was my shining hope. That something as fun and amazing as playing music with a few of my good mates could be the one good thing I excelled at. And enjoyed.

Even if my parents and the entire crowd hated me, I knew that I didn't care.

It was because of this feeling that I gathered the courage to stand up, walk up to the microphone and unveil myself to teachers, students, parents, strangers, everyone.

"Hello. My name is Arthur Kirkland. I'm graduating with Honors and have been accepted to a Private Academy," I said, keeping my voice steady. My heart hammered in my chest, but with my band standing behind me I knew I was untouchable. "I'm also in a relationship with our Saxophone player, Alfred Jones. We've been together for almost six months now. A few weeks ago, I was attacked for my relationship with Alfred."

There it was. People got uncomfortable. Perfect. A few shifty eyes, some nervous coughs, and an anxious stare from the Principal. This wasn't in the program. Good.

"And yet we're still together and we hold no grudges for those not accepting of our lifestyle. It's not for everyone and we respect and understand that. That aside, my boyfriend surprised me with a song back at Prom." I turned, smiling to Alfred who was watching me with red cheeks and burning ears. "As payback, I'll be playing a song for him."

After Alfred had asked me to Prom I had furiously poured over music sheets to write a song that accurately explained my feelings for Alfred. I went to Roderich for help to see if everything matched up, but he stopped me to inform me this song was too close to an already published song. Broken hearted, I asked what I should do. He suggested I turn the song into a piano cover piece of the original version.

And so I had.

I moved to the piano and began to play with Felix a cover version of _Day and Night_. I knew Alfred knew this song as he hummed it once when it came on the radio shortly after I had finished writing it.

I could feel hundreds of eyes on me, probably judging me for who I wasn't and not knowing who I was; someone they didn't know. Wouldn't ever know. Not even my family understood me. But Alfred did. So for him I played with all of my heart.

So he could see it clear on my sleeve for once. What I couldn't say, I'd play.

* * *

Graduation had come and gone. But I was still here. I remained in the music room watching as the cars slowly filed out of the parking lot. My parents had said I could stay with my friends until evening. We had plans later for a family dinner. Amazingly, my family even extended a hand out to Alfred to which he accepted whole-heartedly.

Just the thought of Alfred made me take a deep breath. That boy who had changed my life for the better. Despite all the lies and the hidden truths, he still had a profound effect on me. I could tell I was having the same on him.

"Hey."

I turned to see Alfred coming into the music room. He had a bright smile on his face that, despite the shadows crawling in the room from the setting sun outside. He watched me and I him.

"So…that was quite a surprise," he started. "But it was the best payback ever."

"You liked it?" I asked.

"How could I not? You played a song for me in front of the entire school. You totally stuck it to those asshole parents that hate on us too." Alfred's smile intensified. He came over and stood next to the piano, running his hands across the keys. "It was beautiful."

"Thank you," I said simply.

There was a silence for a moment before I took a shaky gasp. Alfred turned away from me and grabbed his saxophone.

"I've got an idea! Let's play a song together!"

It was enough to calm me down. I had almost lost my grip on my emotions. All day I had a mask on quite like Alfred's, but I wasn't as strong as he was to keep it up all the time. I appreciated the fact he had caught onto my feelings for once.

"Just us?" I asked, clearing my throat.

"Yeah! We've never played together, just us." He started to put his reed in. "We've always had Mattie or Francis with us."

I smiled, wiping at nothing on my cheek. "Right then, we'll just play improvisation?"

"Now you've got it! So put your cute little rump on that piano bench and start playing, Grammar Nazi." He gave me a wink. I couldn't find it in me to fight back.

I simply laughed and did as I was told. I played a few notes on the piano, slipping into the familiar arms of music that welcome me without judgment or hate. A few notes later and Alfred's saxophone joined me by my side. My piano and his sax danced together in a beautiful waltz of jazz. He held me close and twirled me around his sensual notes and I kept him coming back for more with my sweet and gentle tones.

How is it this was us? Our song? The way we danced around one another, never fully saying how we felt and yet able to express it without words for easily it was almost tangible? It confused me. I could show Alfred my heart, open it up to him, with the touch of these keys and he with just a saxophone. Sure we were fine on our own, but we sounded best together.

Was that what he thought too?

We played for a good while before my hands just stopped. Alfred looked over at me, waiting to see if I was composed now. But I wasn't. I cried into my hands. He put his saxophone down and came for me slowly. I could feel his arms holding me, rubbing my back and soothing me. He said nothing as I cried into his chest.

"I don't want to go," I mumbled into his shirt.

"I don't want you to either, but you have to." He moved to wipe away my tears, but stopped. "Oh, your tassel is on the wrong side. Here."

He moved it onto the other side of my cap; the graduated side. He stopped me before I started to cry again.

"Why don't you want to go? You were born for college. All those big whigs and what-not being all smart and shit," he said in the most horrific fake-British accent I've ever heard.

I couldn't help but laugh. "Atrocious… I don't want to leave you or the band. You guys…are everything to me."

Alfred caressed my face as I realized I had let slip something very secretive. I wasn't supposed to let him know just how much he meant to me. Just give him hints disguised as kisses and tight hugs when we parted. But he was a rather oblivious boy at times and I worried if he ever caught on to any of my intentions.

"You're my everything too," he whispered as he kissed by my ear.

I shivered into his touch. He turned and kissed my cheek. My eyes fluttered close, wanting to feel him comforting me. There were times when I worried about where our relationship was heading because of the lies, but then I wound up in situations like these where we were each other's strengths. Alfred soothed me and calmed my temper where I brought him comfort and joy. And, I found, we could switch roles when the time called for it. At this, I smiled, knowing everything would be fine.

"Arthur…," he whispered against at my lips.

I called his name, but had my voice stolen when he kissed me deeply. Our kisses were like our duet we had a moment ago. We danced together, pulling one another close and pulling away to keep us coming back for more. But I'd always come back for more. I knew the way Alfred gripped my waist that he would come back as well.

He led me towards the piano, always to the piano. When he laid me across it, I shook my head.

"I don't want our first time to be here," I whispered.

He frowned, but then an idea flashed across his eyes. "There are…other ways… You know."

I blushed knowing full well what he meant. As he moved to unzip my gown and run his hands down into my pants, I realized that my body knew well ahead of time what my brain didn't. Alfred chuckled into my neck and chose a spot near my ear to suck on.

"No. Dinner," I reminded him, pushing his mouth away.

He just grasped my hard-on instead, watching as I bucked into his hand. He soaked up my reactions from the squirms, to me whispering his name, to my eyes clenched closed, and to my hands grasping for anything to hold on to. They ended up just banging into the ivory keys again. Alfred gripped me harder, forcing my air to leave me as I struggled to stay standing. He picked me up under the waist again and set me on the keys.

I thought he would whip out his own hard self out as well, but he opted to bend down and take me into his mouth instead. I jerked away at his actions.

"Alfred! That's too indecent!" I exclaimed, pulling my gown over myself.

"Too indecent?" Alfred laughed. "Arthur, you're my boyfriend and I can very well put my mouth on any part of you."

"Listen to you! You sound disgusting!" I batted at his hands trying to pull apart my hands. "Just…just rub me."

"Oh ho ho!" Alfred laughed, standing back up. He took my mouth in his as he complied with my embarrassing demand. I sighed into his hand. "You're such a dirty boy. I love it."

"Belt up," I grumbled. In retaliation, I dug my nails into his shoulder.

He hissed and nipped my earlobe. Well…_that_ was new. I growled like some animal as the shock of pure pleasure flashed through my veins. I grabbed onto his hand, riding it hard like a carnival ride. Alfred's eyes widened at my sudden change in behavior.

"Wow," was all he found he could say.

I just searched for his own hard-on, my palms pulsing to feel his warm length and make him react because of me. Make him want me, desire me more, love me more. _Stay._

There was a loud _clack_ and I thought I had broken the piano with my naked butt slamming up and down on the keys, but it was the door opening. The door that now had a very surprised Frenchman standing in it. We stopped instantly.

"No, please, continue," Francis said, waving his hand towards us with an amused smile.

"Get out of here frog!" I screamed. Again, I ignored that stupid voice crack of mine.

"Oh, but this is much more interesting to watch, caterpillar 'brows," Francis laughed.

He soon found himself regretting his choice of words as he ducked from a music book that had been within arm's distance that I had thrown right at his head. He laughed as he rushed out of the room while I shouted more threats his way. Alfred, meanwhile, watched with wide eyes and a mute mouth.

I turned to him, red and furious. "That bloody frog. I'll never forgive you for letting him into _our_ band."

Alfred nuzzled into my neck, chuckling. "I'm sorry. But you have to admit, he's got a damn nice voice."

"I admit nothing," I grumbled, realizing that my wet penis was still grasped in his hands. "The mood's been ruined…"

"Ah, not for me it hasn't," Alfred purred against my skin.

Shaking my head, I tried to push him away from my neck. He was getting awfully close to my ears again. Now he knew an erogenous area of mine. _Damnit_, just when I had made him speechless for the first time and we were equal, he got the upper hand on me not only two hours later.

"Well, I'm not going to be a part of it," I said. Alfred pouted. My eyes instantly looked everywhere but at him. "A-at least…not in here…"

Alfred smirked, pulled me off of the piano, and pulled my pants and trousers back up. "Then, I have a special place I'd like to instead…"

* * *

I was lying on my back on the table, panting as the stars blinked out of my vision. Alfred was lying on my chest with his mouth open to give me soft kisses. His fingers stroked my bare ribs, lazily making circles on my skin. I looked around the room, my eyes taking in all the details. My vision was heightened and I could clearly see the marks on the walls from people's shoes scuffing the baseboard and a pen behind a chair in the corner that had probably fallen out of someone's pocket.

Alfred, the cheeky bastard, had managed to rile me up some more, bend me over the table, and rub his hard self between my legs. It didn't help that I was embarrassed because the _one room he had to fucking pick _was the Student Body Office.

"You know… I've been in here hundreds of times," I started, my voice light and airy. "But I think this will be my favorite time in here."

Alfred chuckled, pushing himself up so he could hover over me. "I know it's mine."

* * *

When dinner started I was surprised to see my brothers so well behaved. I had a hunch that my mother had warned them of Alfred joining us as well, putting them on their best English manners. It started off as simple chit chat, asking how the year went, plans for summer, what my brothers had been up to. Nothing too serious. The mood started to ebb, though, shortly after the main course had arrived.

"So Alfred," Will started. "Mum told me you fell for Artie here in middle school, yeah? What drew you in? Was it the Kirkland eyebrows?"

Will leaned over to rub my said thick eyebrows, but my hand shot up to stop him. He wrestled with me for a few moments before my mother shot us both a glare that reminded us that we were in a nice restaurant having an expensive dinner.

"Well, I fell for _Arthur_ because he was different," Alfred said, ignoring the tussle my brother and I had just had. "He was stiff and rigid and very angry."

"Oi!" I shot a surprised look at him. "I thought you were going to say good things about me."

Shane, sitting across from me, leaned forward. "Those are the only good things about you."

I smiled sarcastically and dug my knife onto my meat. Alfred seemed to be on his toes that evening for he quickly came to my rescue.

"Not true," he said as he pointed his fork at Shane. "Did you hear him on the piano today? It was amazing. Plus he's great at English. I think he should be a teacher."

My eyebrows rose at the thought. Me? A teacher?

"That's a bad idea, that is," Scott said, finally joining in. I was wondering when he would start to pick on me. "Arthur would just beat them or tell them that unicorns existed all day."

I kicked Scott under the table. Alfred must have ignored him for he said nothing. My mother just shook her head, clearly at a loss of what to do.

"So what you do in school, Alfred?" Shane asked.

"What do you mean? I take classes, same as Arthur did."

"I mean is there anything you're good at?"

"He's really great at math and science," I started. Nothing like showing off my smart boyfriend. "That was how we met. I asked for help on my math homework and Alfred helped me pass my exam."

Alfred beamed at me and I couldn't help but smile back. However, Scott had to ruin it.

"Hold on, are you telling me he's smart? I mean, aren't you also on your American football team as well?"

"Well, yeah." Alfred started. I feared for where Scott was going with this.

"I thought all them players had brain damage," Scott said with a laugh. My other brothers joined in laughing.

I put my head in my hands. Why did I have to have morons for brothers? I cursed my luck. Alfred, surprisingly, took it all on stride. He laughed with them, telling me that somehow he was very used to this.

"Yeah, well, I guess I'm good looking, smart, AND athletic. Damn, well I guess we can't all be awesome like me. Maybe all those hits to my head were actually very good for me."

I smiled secretively into my drink as I sipped it. It felt good to see someone, other than me, stand up to my prideful brothers. My brothers, however, would not be deterred.

"So you pick this dumb boy here to date?" Will asked as he slung an arm around my neck. He started to playfully choke me, but I wasn't in the mood to play.

"Sod off!" I growled.

My brothers laughed. "Oh, watch out. He's turned into his little Cockney self."

Shane looked at Alfred. "He only gets this way when he's real mad. It usually takes a threat from us to calm him down. Oi, Arthur. Don't make me reach over and give you what for."

"Oh, me 'ol jam tart is quakin' in fear," I said, holding up my hands in mock terror.

"Um, what just happened?" Alfred asked. He looked to my mother for help.

"Boys, that's enough. The poor boy's confused. Come on now, behave."

"You boys shouldn't be so mean to Arthur." Everyone stopped as my dad finally joined the conversation. He looked over the rim of his wine glass. "Arthur did a very brave thing today. It takes guts to stand up and admit you're gay to a bunch of strangers. Especially since he then played a beautiful song afterwards. I'm proud of you, son."

My breath caught. Had my dad really just said that? From the corner of my eye, I saw Alfred smile at me. He took my hand and raised his glass.

"To Arthur," he said.

I watched as my mother, father, and three older brothers all raised their glasses in a toast to me. I looked away as an uncontrollable smile spread across my face faster than the blush heading straight to my ears. I mumbled a thank you, but back on the airs for my brothers.

I looked at them, feigning a pride that wasn't there. "I'm surprised you three toasted me."

"Ah, we may love torturin' ya, but we're still family," Scott said.

"And you never turn your back on family," Will finished.

Again, that smile. I looked to Shane, half expecting him to agree for some reason, but there he was. Nodding and smiling.

"We also wanna toast you, Alfred," Shane said.

"Me?" Alfred looked up. He mirrored the same confused expression I had.

"Yeah," Shane continued. "We can tell since you got with our little brother you've changed him for the better."

"He's stronger, smarter, and is gettin' back the old Kirkland spunk," Scott said. "He had it when he was a kid, but I guess he grew out it."

"Naw." Alfred put his arm around my shoulder. "He's always had it since I've know him. He bitches me and Francis out constantly."

"There's a French guy at your school?" Will asked.

Alfred nodded. "Yeah, he's the band's singer."

"Way to keep up the ol' family tradition!" my father exclaimed. We all looked up in surprise before my mother laughed into her hand.

"Alfred," Scott said suddenly. I guess we were all not used to such bonding and it got too uncomfortable. "Arthur says you're the perfect representation of America."

I almost spit out my drink. "What? He did?"

Alfred looked to me with that goofy grin of his he got when his head got too big.

"Yeah, it works. I mean you're big, strong, and ya eat a ton!" Will laughed.

I kicked him as well, and Scott once more for good measure. Alfred just laughed again.

"I am a growing boy, but there's more to Americans than just that. We're a smart breed ya know."

"He is a scientist," I reminded them. But when I saw the bogs open up for another attack I kindly reminded them that Alfred was my boyfriend and a guest at the moment. That shut them up as they knew our mother would reach her limits soon.

After dinner I tried to apologize for my family, but Alfred waved me off. I came to learn that Alfred recalled that memory often. It was his favorite one of me and him. He claimed it was because for the first time since he was a child, it felt like he was a part of a family. He would tell me he was glad knowing it was a part of my family and that we shared that precious memory together.

I have to admit, that's one of my favorite moments too. Even if my stupid brothers were there. They could be tolerable.

* * *

_Hoshiko2_'s cents: I LIED AGAIN! I said chapter 8 would be Valentine's Day, but I was halfway through this chapter when I remembered that. Haha, oRZ. SO I PROMISE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE THE RIGHT ONE! The Cockney rhyme comes straight from my pal in England. Props to anyone who knows what Arthur said. :3

Thanks to everyone who gave me a song title. I'm looking through them all and the FST will be up after chapter 10.

SUPER HUGE SHOUTOUT TO Hitsu4HinaEva -Hari-Sama for this amazing thing from last chapter:  
HE'S CLIMBIN' IN YO FRIDGES, SNATCHIN' YO COLAS UP  
TRYIN' TA DRINK 'EM, SO YA'LL NEED TO HIDE YO COKE, HIDE YO PEPSI  
HIDE YO COKE, HIDE YO PEPSI  
HIDE YO COKE, HIDE YO PEPSI  
AND HIDE YO MOUNTAIN DEW, CAUSE HE'S DRINKIN' ALL DEM SODAS OUT DERE.

HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYONE!


	9. Chapter 9

_A/N:_ Please note that not only is this a step BACK in time, but it's also from a different point of view.

* * *

Valentine's Day. I never had one to share it with, despite the past girlfriends that were in the past. They usually lasted a month, week, day, few hours. I got bored of girls pretty quickly. Chatty little things. So it was really new for me to be with someone past the one month marker. Then again, it was even rarer that I liked someone past a year. But Arthur was different.

Really different.

He wasn't talkative, but he was bitchy. He wasn't clingy and sometimes bordered aloof if it weren't for me checking up on him. My favorite method was running up and scaring him in the hallways. Arthur really was too easy a target to tease for his face always contradicted his nasty little insults he carelessly threw my way. But I never minded. He never called me stupid or told me to go away or said anything of the magnitude my father's words held.

And for that, I could slowly feel my feet lifting off the ground whenever he was near.

"Hey Arthur!" I poked my head in the Student Body office knowing full well he would be in here. Probably doing Student Body things.

Kiku was there as well. They had been talking with Arthur's back to the door. I watched as Arthur stiffened before turning around to face me. Kiku, meanwhile, was smiling at me with a knowing smile.

"Hello Alfred," he said. He headed for the door, but stopped to look up at me. "I expect tomorrow will be interesting."

How did I know Kiku knew I had come to talk to Arthur about that day? Call it a hunch. I had been friends with the Japanese boy ever since elementary school when I came up to him on the playground. He was all by himself and was making a sandcastle wall around himself. I kicked it down and told him I'd play with him. He resisted for awhile, running away from me or ignoring my attempts to talk to him. Overtime, he came to see that I really was as awesome as I said I was and we became inseparable.

I laughed, slapping my hand on Kiku's back. "Thanks dude. It will! I'll tell you all about it."

Shaking his head with a small smile, Kiku left. Arthur turned to me with a red face that was inspecting his shoes. Ah, there was something on his mind that he thought was "too embarrassing". While this was my favorite aspect of the Englishman, it was also the most infuriating. Why couldn't he just come out and say what he wanted?

Ah, but then again, didn't I hide from him for years that I had a huge crush on him?

"Hey Artie," I started, but backed up when Arthur shot _that_ stare. How cute. "Sorry, _Arthur_. What's up?"

"Um…Well… about tomorrow… Is there…something happening?" he asked. I noticed his hands were playing with the ends of his tie.

"Tomorrow?" I asked. "Oh! Yeah. I guess. I mean, did you plan something?"

"M-me?" Arthur looked up at me. Okay, there are many things about this boy that I adore; his hair, his fussy temperament, and his smaller frame- easy to put my arms around. Even those fuzzy eyebrows grew on me within two months of knowing him. But those eyes; they were hands down my favorite thing I loved about him.

Wait, love?

I laughed nervously to cover my own thoughts. "Yeah, unless you thought I was planning something."

Oops. Arthur moved his eyes away as I had actually picked up on something he had meant, but didn't just come out and say. Now he wouldn't say.

"Well, I mean, you've had girlfriends before…," he started.

I ran a hand through my hair and bit my lip. Me and my bragging mouth. "Ah, yeah, that lasted like…a few days or something. I've never actually had a Valentine."

Arthur returned those emerald eyes to me. He seemed surprised by this news. Something in me told me he wasn't used to being treated so special by one person. I figured it had to do with his older brothers and workaholic parents; either that or I was too awesome for him to handle.

"W-well, if you want me to do something…," he mumbled, rubbing his arm.

God, I wanted to hug him. So I did. He gasped and then I wanted to kiss him. So I did. It was his fault.

"I don't mind doing something," I said into his hair, holding him around his waist and giving tiny kisses to his scalp from time to time. "If only to make you smile."

He inhaled harshly, sucking his lips into his mouth. Then he nuzzled his face into my chest. _So cute!_ "I-I'd like that…"

"Then that's what I'll do!" I smiled widely. I leaned down to kiss him.

Automatically, his arms went around my shoulders and his fingers into my hair. _Man_, I love that feeling. It made me feel invincible to have those arms around me while I pressed our bodies close. He always arched into my touch. His body had that really convenient way of telling me exactly what he wanted.

Me.

"What's the flower…of your country…?" I whispered when we parted our lips.

He must have still been dazed from our amazing kiss. I know I'm just that good. He looked at me with stunned eyes. "H-huh? The rose, I believe."

"Wait, that's _my_ country's flower," I said indignantly. "You guys stole it from us!"

Arthur shook his head as his eyes trailed over my collar bone. He licked his lips. "It's not a real flower. It's a combination of two roses… I think it's made up."

"Oh…" I frowned. "Well, you're getting roses anyways!"

He came out of the spell my skin had cast to snap his eyes up at me. "N-no! You don't have to get me anything!"

"What're you talking about?" I released my hold on Arthur, faintly hearing the school bells ringing. "You can't not get anything on Valentine's Day from your Valentine! That's blasphemy!"

Arthur moved to straighten his tie, his cheeks red. I felt a smirk spreading across my face. "Yes, well not everyone is as excited about holidays as much as you or this country is."

I laughed, turning to walk out of the office with Arthur by my side. I glanced at his hand. How I wanted to hold it, show off that I was dating someone like him, have him still be that much closer to me. But we both knew that was impossible for many reasons.

Sometimes, Arthur wasn't the only one that wasn't honest with his feelings.

* * *

So it's Valentine's Day. That means a lot of pink and white, right? Right. So it's not that gay if I wear the red pants my mother accidentally destroyed earlier this year. There was one pink sock in the wash. I looked for some top that was white. Uniform? No, that was tan. T-shirts? None that weren't dirty, wrinkled, or were too cold for the February day. Well, there was this nice dress shirt in the back of the closet. It was white, but had light-brown stripes as well. I frowned, thinking that it'd probably be best if it was all white, but it was the only shirt with white on it that was long sleeved. Ok, fine, then I'll put this brown jacket on so I don't look like a walking fashion explosion. Something Kiku would probably like as it reminded him of home.

My father was out for the day so I had a moment to check in on my mom. She was lounging in the living room watching the T.V. It was a rare chance for the room to be completely hers. My father was almost always on couch, the television set to nothing, and a beer in one hand, another on the floor near his feet.

Mother looked up, smiling as she saw my attire. I never dressed this nicely. "Do you have a date today?"

"Sure do, mom." I came over, planting a chaste kiss on her forehead.

"How sweet," she turned her eyes back to the television. "Be back home before curfew or else your father will be angry."

I clicked my tongue on the roof of my mouth. "He'll get mad anyways. But I'll be out past dinner. Love you."

"Have fun," she mumbled.

I turned away, ignoring the pain in my heart. She never said she loved me.

I had reached the spot where I told Arthur yesterday we would meet. It was a rather popular spot downtown and many students from school were standing by the fountain, the main meeting point for teenagers. With my hands in my pockets, I looked around. Still no sign of Arthur. He hadn't replied to my text from earlier either.

I checked my phone again. Nope, nothing. With a sigh, I watched the other happy couples, already united and coupling it up as if to show me that I was alone. Again, on Valentine's Day.

"Damnit, Arthur, where are you?" I mumbled to no one.

I took a seat on the bench and waited. The water noise added to soothe me, keeping my worry and temper in place. I was angry Arthur was now twenty minutes late, but I worried something happened. Leaning back on the bench, I called Arthur for a fifth time. I tried really hard not to think that he was injured. Had he forgotten? Was his phone off and he didn't remember where to meet? I had once heard a song where this guy was to meet up with a friend, but his phone died and he had ended up running around town to find a battery to replace it. In the end, his friend texted him and said he didn't need to come. Kiku thought it was great when he showed me it, but I thought of what a shitty day that had to have been.

And here I was, having the same shitty-type of day.

When Arthur and I had first gotten together, I wanted to spend Christmas with him or at least show up on his doorstep with a gift and mistletoe in hand. I've always wanted to kiss someone under that thing, so I could die saying I had. That and, well, it was pretty romantic and awesome. The only problem was Arthur informed me the day before school let out that he'd be spending winter break with his family in England. That meant no phone calls either and we had to resort to just e-mails. Those were few and far in between. What sucked the most was I wasn't there to see his reaction to when he opened my present. I wanted to see that adorable smile spread across his face, his eyes all lit up, because of me.

Arthur constantly said I wasn't very romantic, but he couldn't be more wrong. I was pretty big on the romance and wooing in every sense of the word. I may not have been a huge sap like Arthur claimed he wasn't, but I knew when I wanted to be as charming as a Hollywood movie star. That was the key to being good and being a hopeless romantic. I wasn't the latter.

But the more I sat waiting for Arthur, the more I felt like it. It had been an hour now. Now I was growing nervous. I had planned on taking a calming walk down the park's winding pathway. Arthur had once mentioned he enjoyed nature. Later, I wanted to get some food at a French café. While I could see my senior, Francis, and Arthur bicker in the hallways quite often between breaks and Arthur swore up and down that they have never been friends, he had revealed to me that he enjoyed French cuisine. Then, I'd treat him to a movie. I didn't plan on seeing the romantic comedy as I knew it would be packed full of heterosexual couples. A homosexual couple would be quite the eyesore. So I opted to just go to that new Disney movie that was out.

What? There's romance in it.

To top off the perfect day, I would take Arthur to experience a little taste of home. There was a pub nearby that allowed underage teenagers into the restaurant section of it. I had never had anything close to British food before I met Arthur. When I saw him in middle school, I ran home and asked my mom to make something British. She tried scones. They were amazing.

Two days later, Arthur brought in some to school for the International Fair day. They were horrible.

I was a little nervous, but I knew my stomach could take it if I just did it all for love. Again with that word. I couldn't love him. That'd be way too fast. Wouldn't it? Sure, I'd like the boy since we met, I mean, if you saw those green eyes and that frowning lower lip jutting out in such a royally impudent way, well, you'd like the little Britt too.

So that's why I was waiting here, coming up on hour two. I was ready to just march to the bus stop, hop on the next one, and walk to Arthur's house only to remember I hadn't been to it yet. If he was sick or injured, I wanted to care for him. If not, well did I have a few choice words to say. I remained, though, keeping up hope that soon he'd appear over the horizon.

No, this would be a good Valentine's Day, I reminded myself.

* * *

Well, no walk in the park or lunch at a café. It was well past lunch. If Arthur didn't hurry, we'd miss the movie too. My hands kept rubbing my legs as I rocked back and forth, waiting for Arthur. I had played all the game Apps on my phone, checked my Facebook for any updates, and stalked my e-mail for any signs from my boyfriend. And yet, I was still alone.

I really wished those girls over at the ice cream shop was stop looking at me. I knew they were whispering at how pathetic I was. Probably laughing at my misery like I was right out of some romantic comedy. That shit's not funny when it's happening to you.

Now, normally, I don't give a shit what people think about me. Honestly, the things I've heard people mutter about me behind my back or say to my face amount to nothing to what my father says. I just laughed off everything everyone else said. They didn't know me. They would never know me, try as they might. I may be an awfully warm guy that seems to open up to people, but the truth is, I'm a paranoid little asshole. I trust only Matthew and Kiku.

And what of Arthur? Arthur went beyond trust. Like I said, he was special. I cared about what he said about me or thought about me. When he looked at me I honestly wondered what he saw. I wanted to hear everything that was on his mind. And when he actually spoke and got rolling with words that were manipulated by his sexy little British accent, I was truly captivated. This little guy was so full of spunk and wisdom that I couldn't help but be in awe of him. How could most people just pass him by or spread nasty rumors of him while hiding in the bathroom? It mystified me.

He honestly was special, but not today. Especially since I was just sitting here with a thumb up my ass, a frown on my face, and wearing pink and white while sitting alone on a bench, girls laughing at me.

* * *

And now the movie was out. By now, my mood had completely died. Arthur had better have some good excuse for ditching me on the most romantic day of the year.

At some point, I got it in my head I would bother others on their Valentine's Day. Kiku was the first choice. He was probably on a date and boy did I want to spoil it. Since I was feeling so rotten I thought I'd send some of the crappy mood his way so I wouldn't be alone.

"Kiku?" I asked as soon as he picked up.

"Alfred? Why are you calling?"

"Arthur ditched me, so I'm pissed." I looked at my gnawed off nails that had been so well maintained before today. Sitting on a bench made one nervous.

There was a rustle on the other end, I could hear Kiku apologizing (most likely to his girlfriend, Meiling), and then Kiku's voice. It sounded as if he had covered the mouth piece with his hand. "What do you mean, 'ditched'?"

"I mean he never showed when I told him where we'd be meeting." I sighed as I slid down in my seat. My legs jutted out into the walkway earning a few stares from those walking by. I didn't care that my red pants were in their way of that they were quite the eyesore. "I'm totally bummed."

"Wait, that doesn't make sense. Arthur told me he had made a reservation for dinner tonight with you," Kiku said.

I sat up quickly. "What? But I told him I'd take care of today!"

"Ah, you know Arthur." That jerk of an Asian was smiling. I could tell by his smile. "We were talking about it yesterday, shortly before you arrived. He assumed you would do something, but I told him not to think that way. It wouldn't be fair to you. After that he probably didn't want to put it all on you. Maybe he forgot to tell you?"

"Shit, then why won't he answer his cell?" I looked at my watch. It was almost five.

"He told me he finds it rude to have his cell phone with him when he's on a date. He must have left it at home."

"Son of a bitch!" I exclaimed. "Today is not the time to be a little gentleman, Arthur!"

Kiku was chuckling on the other end and I had half a mind to yell at him. But then he said, "I know where he's at. He told me he'd be at The Jagged Rock restaurant."

"The Jagged Rock?" I repeated. "That's a… Okay, thanks Kiku! You're the best! Tell Meiling I said hi! Don't do anything I wouldn't do, you two!"

I hung up as I heard Kiku sputtering on the other end. Arthur would have had the same reaction. Funny how alike those two could be sometimes.

But now was not the time to marvel at such a thing. I was running as fast as I could down the street. The Jagged Rock was only five blocks away. I had no idea how long Arthur had been waiting and if he was even still there. The entire day I had waited for him, but did he for me?

I stumbled up to the entrance of The Jagged Rock. It wasn't particularly crowded, but people were starting to head from their cars to the restaurant. From outside I could hear the smooth jazz. _Jazz_. Of _course_ he'd pick a place that played jazz. He used to listen to quite a lot of Classical, some Rock every now and then, but ever since we started dating, that genre had become his passion. Once, he let it slip that it was because it was us.

It was our tie. Every song was ours.

"Excuse me," I said as I pushed my way up to the busboy. "Excuse me, sir? Is there a rather grumpy blonde British teenager here and has he been here for long?"

The busboy nodded in surprise. "Yes, he's been here for a half an hour. He's right over there."

I looked to where he pointed. Arthur's back was to me as he faced the stage. A pianist, saxophonist, and drummer were up on stage playing _Take 5_, one of Arthur's and my favorites. His head was low and I could feel the aurora of pure anger radiating from him as I approached him.

"Arthur?"

The boy looked up, tears in his eyes. My heart clenched knowing it was my fault he was so upset. He stood up quickly and slapped me across the face.

Well… _shit_.

"How dare you?" he seethed.

I held up my hands. "Now, wait, Arthur, there's a good explanation for all of this."

"You better have _damn_ well come up with a bloody good reason you stupid git!" Oh yeah, he was pissed. His English was showing through.

"Ok, first of all, sit. There are people that wanna see the stage too." I moved to next to him at our tiny two-person table. The menus hadn't even been touched, but there was a drink on Arthur's side of the table. "Second of all, take your cell with you next time, stupid."

Arthur huffed, crossing his arms and looking away. It's then that I noticed something.

"Hey…" My lips quivered up in a smile. "Our outfits. We match."

"Huh?" Arthur turned to look me over. His eyes widened as he realized I was right.

His brown boots matched my jacket, his own jacket the same red color of my pants. My shirt matched his striped pants. Somehow, he made those pants look great. Like, really great. I never knew a man's thigh could look that good.

"You still haven't explained yourself," Arthur snapped. He returned to grouchy grandpa-like boyfriend mode. My least favorite mode. It was next to impossible to get him out of it.

I had first encountered said mode when I came to school with my arm in a cast. He pestered me to tell him what happened, but I every time I explained that I had fallen, he puffed up his cheeks and treated me like a child unable to take care of himself. I really had fallen, though. It just so happened my dad shoved me into the side of the car first and then I fell on the arm, thus breaking it.

But Arthur didn't need to know that. He lived in a happy little bubble. The worst of his worries being if he got an A on his next English test or if some prick spray painted the side of the school building again. I'd rather not tell him of all the pointless fights my dad and I got into. I'd see his smile even less if I did.

"I told you I'd handle it and that we were to meet at the fountain," I started. "I waited for hours."

Arthur looked down at his lap, but kept his arms crossed. A tinge of blush was on the bridge of his nose. "I was there, but I didn't see you."

"No way, I was there all day. The only time I left was to take a piss." I thought back to how quickly I peed too. I had rushed to make sure I hadn't missed him. "There's no way I had missed you then. Are you sure you went to the right one?"

"Yes I'm sure!" Arthur snapped.

"Okay, calm down." I looked around nervously. "B-but why did you think we were going here? I told you I had something planned."

Arthur rubbed his arms nervously. I counted in my head to three before he started chewing on his lip. Now he'd talk. "I-I know… But I didn't want only you to go to work… We're in this relationship _together_ so I wanted to give…you something too…"

The waiter came just then, asking for our orders. We ordered, handed over our menus, and sat in silence. Well, not really silence as there was a band playing, but neither of us spoke. I don't think he was mad at me, but we were both horribly embarrassed. And bummed.

"Did…you really wait for me for hours…?" Arthur asked at length.

I nodded. "Yeah. All day."

Arthur blushed, looking down. Finally, his arms uncrossed. "I did…for…for you too."

I sighed, my expression softening. I reached under the table cloth and took Arthur's hand in mine. He stiffened, his eyes scanning to see if anyone else saw, but no one cared. This was a day for couples. If they could have this day, then so could we.

"Who cares about the other plans," I said, smiling at my boyfriend. "We're here together now, right? Let's make the best of it."

There it came. That tiny smile. "I'd like that…"

* * *

Dinner went without a hitch. Amazing dinner, amazing music, and an amazing boyfriend. All in all, waiting for Arthur wasn't so bad because I knew he had waited for me. And in the end, I took him on that walk. Going at night was much more romantic, especially since the moon was full and no one could see we were two males holding hands. If someone saw us, I think they thought Arthur was a girl. His frame seemed even smaller compared to mine. Once someone had mistaken him as a girl from behind when we stood side by side.

I never let that down, much to Arthur's despair.

"I thought you said you'd get me flowers," Arthur said dreamily. His eyes were closed, his head resting on my shoulder as he had his entire arm wrapped around mine. We had taken up a nice spot on a bench secluded from the main path and were just watching the moon.

Yeah, I was in heaven, to say the least.

"Hm? Oh yeah. I didn't want to give them to you during the day." I moved my head off of his to look down at him. "I knew people would look at us funny that way. Something you hate. But, fear not! I still have every intention of getting you roses. Be right back."

I slipped my arm free of his hold and dashed off to find a flower vendor still open. It wasn't too late in the evening and I knew there had to be someone on the corner of some street still selling at least one small bouquet.

Of course, they were fifteen bucks. My eye twitched at how expensive the tiny flowers were, but I said nothing. Arthur was priceless.

Clutching them close to me, I hurried back to where I knew Arthur was waiting for me. He was standing by now, looking at nothing in particular. I think he was even talking to himself, but when he heard me, he stopped instantly. I was just going to pretend my boyfriend wasn't a little bit crazy.

He gasped at seeing the flowers, even though they weren't a surprise. I plucked one free from the dozen and strode up to Arthur. Without saying a word, I carefully put it in the chest pocket of Arthur's jacket. Arthur was red like a tomato; good enough to eat.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Arthur," I whispered. I put my hands on his shoulders as I came down for a kiss.

But Arthur stood on his tiptoes and caught my lips halfway. One hand gripped at my jacket as he made a content noise. My face was red at the knowledge we were finally kissing in public. It wasn't heated or sexual. We didn't need to be that way, even if I could feel my body starting to head towards that way when I caught my eyes roaming over Arthur's body. No, it was something else. Something I was starting to understand in my chest.

It was just love.

* * *

Hoshiko2's cents: Would you believe me if I told you this chapter was incredibly hard to write? I'm not joking. :\

Arthur's way of thinking is very different compared to Al's. When I type, I tend to already have a British accent going on in my head and when I lose it, I just put on some Dr Who to get it back. So for Al's point of view, that meant no Dr Who. No, I watched some American TV instead. *Shudder.*Painful.

Anyways, I realized I had skipped two holidays (not to mention Arthur's birthday) since the original plot line for this series wasn't even supposed to have this many chapters. I thought I'd throw in a sweet chapter of the love holiday (that I flat out hate). Think of it as a gift to you guys since you're all amazing at reviewing my stuff. Seriously, I love checking my e-mail and finding all those reviews. They mean the world to me.

Props to anyone who knows what the song Alfred is talking about (the one with the really bad day). As for last chapter, the Cockney rhyme Arthur said was, "Me ol' jam tart" meaning, "My old heart". Get it? :3

This entire chapter was based off of this sole picture: http:/ /img. photobucket .com /albums /v735/hoshiko2 /For%20LJ /Kiss. jpg (no spaces).


	10. Chapter 10

_A/N_: Back on normal timeline now.

* * *

With summer vacation came more free time, almost all of which were completely filled with Alfred. But it only came at night time. During the day, Alfred spent all of his time with his brother. The move was making the twins stressed and irritable. During Matthew's going away party, the poor boy snapped at least three times at me and the band mates before breaking into tears about how lost he was going to be without band practice.

And so, that's how we ended up with another performance lined up.

"We need more members," Francis said one day.

I was against this. More people meant it was less and less something between me and Alfred. More people meant more drama. But everyone voted for it. Even Matthew.

"I'd feel better knowing the band was doing well," he mumbled. "I'm happy just knowing Roderich is with the band now."

Oh yes, we already _had_ a new member. But Roderich was actually one that I valued more than anyone else in the band, well, aside from Alfred. Even Alfred could be a bit of a headache, though. Roderich brought talent and patience and an ability to guide the other, more irritating members (Francis) to actually come forth with good ideas.

So how I had ended up judging possible new band mates was beyond me. He usually came up with _good_ ideas. I was the one firmly against new members. Don't make me a judge. Still, it gave Matthew a chance to see what would happen to the band once he left and gave him peace of mind. Every few moments I had to remind myself that I was doing it for him.

As it was, we had only gone through a few auditions, but I had a migraine as if we had seen hundreds of people already. I rubbed the bridge of my nose with a sigh, scribbling off the last name of the person who had failed miserably to make even Alfred impressed.

Alfred glanced over at me. "Isn't this awesome? I feel like we're on American Idol or something."

Francis, sitting on the other side of Alfred, chuckled as he leaned forward. "_Qui_, and Arthur is our lovely Simon, no?"

The two boys burst into laughter while I buried my head in my hands. "I'm so glad I can entertain you two…"

"Come on, Arthur," Alfred started. He put his hand on my back, rubbing in small circles. "Ease up a bit. You've done nothing but shoot all of these guys down. We'll never find new band members this way."

"Send in the next person," Francis called to Felix.

Felix, standing by the door to the music room, nodded and opened the door. A small brunette girl walked in, holding a brass horn in her hands. Her jittery eyes looked back and forth between me and Alfred.

"Um, are you guys…really Emerald Paradise?" she asked meekly.

I sighed in frustration, glaring at Alfred. "See? I knew singing that ridiculous song about my eyes would be horrible. Now no one knows our bloody name."

The girl gasped, her eyes lighting up as she focused on me. "You-you mean you're Arthur? And he's Alfred?"

"Yeah," Alfred said offhandedly before turning his attention on me. "And what do you mean? So what if people don't know our real name yet. The point is people know us, right?"

"Oh my gosh!" the girl interrupted. Alfred and I looked over, eyebrows raised. "I have to tell you guys I am _so_ for you two! I mean! Go for it! Be in your relationship and all! I mean!"

"Excuse me, _mademoiselle_?" Francis said quickly, his hand up to stop her. "Why don't you tell us why you're here?"

"Oh!" The girl flushed as she looked away from me and Alfred. Her hands clenched her horn while her shoes rubbed up against one another. "R-right. Well, you see. My grandfather was this amazing jazz musician and because of him I got very interested in the music. And then he started to teach me for a few years and-"

"Okay, okay." I sat back in my chair with a sigh. "So why don't you play?"

"I…I have to play?" she asked, the color draining from her face.

"Well yeah," Alfred laughed. "This _is_ an audition."

"Of course!" The girl laughed nervously as she played with her hair. Her shoes rubbed against each other again and she looked down at the ground. Everyone watched and waited for her to do something other than fiddle with her horn or hair. She then started to polish her horn, wearing on my patience.

"Oi!" I snapped. My nerves were shot and I couldn't take much more of these auditions. "Are you going to play for us or not?"

"I'm sorry!" the girl exclaimed. She turned the horn around and put it up her lips. "I, um, am going to play this s-song that my grandfather taught me! It's, um, a, uh, bit of a masterpiece."

Alfred leaned forward, interested. I was bored. This girl was far too nervous and was still stalling for time. I knew in a few moments even Francis would grow tired with her. But Alfred was truly putting it all on the line. My lips twitched up in a smile as I thought of how much he worked for his brother. He really did love Matthew.

"You can start anytime," I said irritably after a moment.

"R-right," the girl stuttered.

Again, she put the horn to her lips and let it all out. No, really, she let it out. Some demon of a monster I feared to call music came squeaking out of the horn. Alfred gripped the table as his body convulsed from the ear splitting sound while Francis and I slapped our hands over our ears. Felix, at the door, ran outside, the lucky bastard.

The girl must not have known she was just that horrible because she closed her eyes and continued to torture us. Alfred jumped up, waving his arms wildly as he called for the girl to stop. Her eyes opened just barely, but that was all it took. She pulled the horn from her mouth, obliviously surprised at her impromptu stop.

"What? Was it too good for you?" she asked. If my ears weren't still ringing, I would have laughed.

"It was…something," Alfred started with a nervous laugh. He went around the table to escort the girl out personally since Felix had run away. "So, please, if you want to go now…"

The girl grabbed Alfred's hand suddenly. If I wasn't for the fact that I was quite a gentleman I would have been over there shoving that girl's hands away from my boyfriend. Since English gentlemen do not do such things I remained in my seat and waited for Alfred to kindly show her the door.

"But you will tell me if I got into the band or not, right?" she asked desperately.

Alfred was caught blushing. Again, I had to restrain myself. My father raised me to be a gentleman. However, tonight, I knew I would Alfred quite the earful.

"Uhm, We-w still have some others to see, but… We'll let you know." Alfred managed another one of his charming smiles and released her hands from his. It wasn't a moment too soon. He closed the door quickly. Alfred turned with a sigh and a cheery smile, his optimism hardly wavering. "Well! That could have gone better!"

"Alfred, let's just stop this," I tried. "I'm quite fine with the way the band is now. Why do we need more members?"

"We _really_ need a horn player and a guitarist." Alfred gestured to the room as if it indicated that was where the next members would be. "We could play catchier songs that way!"

While I wanted to continue the bickering and prove my point, Felix had slipped back inside, showing the new hopeful. Only, it wasn't just one; it was two. I leaned over when I caught sight of silver hair and red eyes.

The boy holding the horn looked to be no older than me, but was the whitest person I had ever seen. He must have albino in him if he truly wasn't one. He gave us all quite an egotistical smirk as he stood before us. Next to him was a boy that made him seem even whiter because the second boy's skin was so tanned. Must be of Hispanic descent. His green eyes focused on me, giving me a slight shiver down my back.

"Just who are you two?" I asked with my nose upturned.

"The answer to your prayers!" the silver haired boy said proudly. He held his hand out towards us. "I'm Gilbert Weillschmidt and my partner in crime here is Antonio Fernandez Carriedo!"

"_Hola_!" Antonio gave a wave to everyone. Somehow I felt he was aiming that at me.

Quickly, I looked to Alfred who had just taken his seat beside me. Ah yes, that attention I craved and liked. He shot me a quick smile as I let my eyes catch his blue eyes. Feeling renewed, I turned back to the two before us.

"Well, show us what you can do if you think you're so great," I said sharply.

The two gave me identical smiles that made me squirm a little in my seat. They looked at me as if I were a piece of meat to eat. I felt very uncomfortable, but somehow, my face was heating up as if Alfred had just given me a lovely compliment.

"And tell us why you're here," Alfred said, ignoring my obvious discomfort with the two boys.

"I want to be rich and famous!" Gilbert proclaimed. He started playing on his horn, stunning us all into silence. Damnit, he was good. "If I were rich and famous I'd head straight for New Orleans and I'd blow this horn so hot and strong like no one they've ever seen."

Bloody hell, he could sing too? Why did I suddenly feel as if I had fallen into some musical? Alfred and Francis didn't seem to mind one bit. In fact, the damn fools had started to dance in their seats. Antonio followed along with Gilbert with his acoustic guitar to provide quite the little harmony. Wait, was Felix playing with his drumsticks in the back on the doorframe? Oh, this could not be happening.

"When I'm famous, as I hope to be, I'm gonna blow this horn 'til the cows come home and everyone's gonna bow down to me," Gilbert continued. He pretended to blow kisses to no one, sending a wink towards Francis before letting out quite an impressive bellow on his horn.

"When I'm back on top again I want just the life I had." Now the Spaniard was singing and dancing too? "A great big party every night! That doesn't sound too bad."

Francis nodded eagerly, whole-heartedly agreeing. He did not need an accomplice in his questionable dating habits.

Antonio strode right up to me, smiling down as I scooted back in my seat. I could feel Alfred watching, but knew he wasn't jealous or threatened. If he was, he'd probably punch the boy. "A redhead on my left arm, a brunette on my right. A blonde or two to hold the candles, now that seems just about right, eh Gilbert?"

At that, Antonio gave me a quick wink before moving back to be beside Gilbert as they finished their duet.

"When we're famous!" they sang together before Gilbert finished with another impressive horn solo.

Francis and Alfred jumped up, rushing the boys and praising them. Even the ever shy Felix had come out of his corner to slap a hand on Gilbert's back. If I hadn't felt so violated by their eyes and smiles I would have congratulated them as well.

"You're two are _so _in the band!" Alfred exclaimed.

"_Bueno_!"

"_Gut_!"

"No!"

Everyone turned to me as I stood, my arms crossing. "I have a say in this as well and I say no."

"You're joking, _Angleterre_," Francis sighed. "These are the best ones we've heard all day and they have such amazing reasons."

I narrowed my eyes. "No they are not, Francis. First of all, we are not in this to become famous. We're in this to have fun with music and enjoy our time together."

"You can do that and be famous," Gilbert said. I didn't like his eyes on me so I focused on Alfred.

"And besides, what did Antonio mean by being 'back on top again'?" I asked, knowing I wasn't even looking at the boy in question.

"Ah, well I am from _España _and I used to be very well known," Antonio explained, drawing my attention to him. "But when I moved to _América _I found I wasn't as popular in the music business anymore. I want to gain it all back and Gilbert here is helping me."

"His story just breaks my heart." Gilbert held a hand over his chest, pretending to look sad.

"I don't buy it," I said flatly.

"Have a heart!" Antonio pouted. I looked away. "I'm also hoping I get enough money so I can go back home."

"We're in this for music!" I argued, but Alfred came up to me.

As usual, he took my hands, making me blush, and made it clear to everyone that I was about to have my mind changed. And what was worse, Gilbert and Antonio could plainly see my affections for Alfred now. I caught them smirking as Alfred pleaded with me to let them in. I ignored everything he said because, honestly, it was always the same.

With a sigh, I said, "All right."

Everyone in the room jumped for joy, whooping and hollering in joy. I crossed my arms again as soon as Alfred released them. He was such a child sometimes, the way he jumped up and down with his fists in the air and then chattering away with our two new members like they were the best of friends. I wanted to smile, but I opted to scowl instead as I had caught Gilbert giving me smug looks. That German better watch himself.

"So are we performing any time soon?" Antonio asked eagerly.

From behind me came a quiet voice. "Two weeks."

I jumped as everyone looked over. Matthew had been standing behind me the entire time. Why had I not seen him? Why had no one else seen him? I think even Alfred had forgotten about his presence as he was quite startled as well. Matthew smiled at everyone, blushing as he averted his eyes to the floor quickly.

"Well hello there," Gilbert said, his smile turning back into the same one he gave me.

"So!" Alfred cut in. Of course, he saw when Gilbert was ogling his brother, but not his boyfriend. "We'll start practice Friday and we'll meet up at Francis' house. He'll give you directions. Felix, you can tell the others to go home, ok?"

Felix nodded enthusiastically as he turned for the door. I could see Gilbert, Antonio, and Francis were quickly warming up to one another. I was dreading their friendship. Since all was said and done, I moved to gather up my things and head home. Knowing Alfred always spent the day with Matthew, I planned on spending the rest of the afternoon quite alone until either my parents or Alfred came home.

"H-hey Arthur?" Alfred came up behind me and rubbed his hair nervously. "Um, do you mind if I come over today?"

"You have every single day since school let out. I don't see a problem with it now." I couldn't help but smile. Alfred was acting as if it were the first time we were together.

"Oh, ok. Um." Alfred fumbled for what to say and I waited patiently. Everyone else in the room had left by now. "Can I stay the night?"

My heart leapt into my throat at his request. He saw my alarm and held up his hands, waving them around as he barreled through an awkward explanation.

"I mean I can sleep on the couch or a guest bed or even the floor! We won't do anything, not unless you don't want to or your parents are home, but I'd be on my best behavior and I'm sorry if this is too weird! I just!" He suddenly hugged me as he cut off his own sentence. I gasped at his unexpected action. "I just…don't want to be alone tonight…"

Somehow, someway, I found my voice. "What…what about Matthew?"

"He's going with my mom to see the new house and they won't be back until tomorrow." That left him and his father. Alone. My hands reached up and I grasped his shoulders. "And my dad will be gone too, I think, but that house is scary to be alone in. So…"

I sighed. "Yes, of course you can stay with me."

How could I say no?

* * *

After practice, Alfred and I came home. He said he would just get an extra change of clothes tomorrow morning. We made some popcorn, put on a movie, and the two of us curled up next to each other. With the bowl between us, Alfred put his arm around my shoulder and I moved my head under his chin. After a time, though, he moved so we were lying down and he was holding me.

At one point, I noticed Alfred was no longer laughing at the comedic scenes. I craned my neck around to see if he was paying attention and found he was asleep. I smiled warmly, caressing his face, before turning to finish up the movie.

When Alfred awoke, I was still held firmly in his arms. He yawned and stretched, almost pushing me off of the couch. A hand shot out and he held on. I was safe. I turned so we were face to face.

"Afternoon, love." Alfred smiled warmly at me as he melted into the couch.

"Hey beautiful," he whispered. He ran a hand through his hair as he realized his glasses were off. "Where are…?"

I pointed to the table where I had placed them aside. I yelped in surprise when he rolled me so I was now lying on top of him. He cuddled into me, nuzzling my neck as if his life depended on it.

"Alfred, are you all right?" I mumbled after a time. He was stroking my hair and humming to himself.

"How could I not be? I've got you, don't I?" he sounded so dreamy and happy.

Because I felt like it, I ran my hands around on his chest. Then, something occurred to me. "Your birthday is coming up, isn't it?"

"Yup. Fourth of July," Alfred replied in an impressive Southern drawl. He knew I loved that voice and chuckled when I blushed. "Why do you ask?"

"Can I do anything special for you on your actual birthday or...?"

"Hm?" He turned his head to look at me. "Oh, no we don't do anything special for my birthday so if you have something in mind it's okay."

"What do you mean you don't do anything special? It's your birthday." I lifted my head with wide eyes. My birthday happened to fall upon an important English holiday, but my family still gave me a celebration.

Alfred shrugged. He looked over my shoulder, remembering something sad. "Well, it's the Fourth of July. That's pretty damn important."

I stared at him with a flat expression. He smiled sheepishly when he realized I wasn't sharing the same value toward that day. He temporarily forgot I was British.

"Ok, so it's not big to you, but Arthur, it's the birth of our-er my nation! I think that's a little more important than me." Alfred's tone seemed to hint, once again, he was used to saying something along these lines. That man could do a lot of harsh things, but flat-out forgetting or not caring for his own son's birthday made my blood boil. Did he do the same to Matthew?

"I'm not convinced," I said as I reached my arms to wrap around his neck. "It's just a country. You're a human being."

"Yeah," he started. I could see the beginnings of blush creep up his neck. "But a country lives forever and is everything the people hold dear of what a nation should be."

I stared at him for a few silent moments. He was still looking far away, as if he were seeing something. I could only smile at how wise he suddenly looked. I moved forward, brushed his bangs aside and kissed his forehead.

"Yes, a country is important, but a country isn't a human being. So they live forever? That just makes being a human special. Because you cherish every moment you're alive, doing something." I looked him in the eyes with unmasked love. "And I cherish every moment we're together."

Alfred looked back at me, his heart pounding against my chest. Then, his lips were upon mine. His arms wrapped around me, his fingers in my hair. I closed my eyes to allow all of him to envelop me. Slowly, he sat up so we were the same height. His hands slid down so they cupped my face. There was a smile on his lips, I could feel it.

Without saying a word, Alfred picked me up in his arms and continued to kiss me as he took me upstairs. I knew what was happening and welcomed it. I craved it just as much as he.

He laid me on my bed gently, all smiles and caresses as my clothes were removed. I undressed him as his hands roamed over my naked body. I shuddered at his cold hands on my sensitive nipples. Okay, yeah, don't touch there.

"Ah," I gasped, jerking into his hands.

"You're just full of surprises, aren't you?" he whispered, biting down on my ear. I shuddered into him, my nails gripping for him to just take me now.

And he did. Without preparation or lubrication.

"OW!" I exclaimed, my hips bucking up and my body twitching in pain.

"What?" Alfred pulled back in surprise. "Did I hurt you?"

"Alfred!" I breathed, moving my legs up in hopes of some kind of relief. It didn't help. I groaned in pain as I felt what I hoped wasn't blood coming between my legs. "You didn't even prepare me or anything!"

For a few moments, Alfred truly looked confused. I never noticed, but with his glasses off he looked far younger than me. And with that kind of obliviousness etched on his face, I truly began to wonder just how smart he really was.

"You have to do that?" he asked. I nodded vigorously, still in horrible pain.

"Don't you watch porn or something?" I asked breathless.

Alfred looked disgusted. But, instead of questioning me, he grew worried and looked down at where we were joined. "Should I just take it out?"

"N-no!" I grabbed his ass as he started to move back. "You started this now finish it! But next time!"

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry." He kissed me deeply to prove his sincere guilt. I didn't care. That bloody fool didn't have a rather hard and large cock painfully up his- _Oh_.

Now it felt good.

The pain subsided as he started to kiss me, touch me, move in me. Yeah, all of that combined took my mind off of the fact that the prat had just made my ass bleed. His hands curved under my back, pulling me up against his well toned chest, and my fingers scratched down it in approval. I stopped to push my hands up across his firm abs, marking them mine with a kiss and a nip. Alfred sighed into me as he held my legs up.

"Alfred…," I whispered, my head falling back. My eyes closed as I just took in the feeling of everything.

We were really making love. In my bedroom. With the boy I've had quite the crush on for a few years now, that was now calling my name and bending over me as he pushed and pulled with my body like a wave. I could only demand more.

My hands gripped at the bed sheet as my toes curled. Alfred leaned all the way over, changing position, and I think I screamed like a girl. He pushed deeper and further than before and a surge of new pleasure hit my body so hard I felt my heart stop. I called for him again and he replied with another touch of that spot. Colors, sounds, and just everything that was Alfred took me over.

We rocked back and forth, clinging to one another in the mad passion of sex and love. So this was how it was; to be completely overwhelmed by love. It was beautiful.

And I'm glad it was just Alfred and me.

The best part was, in the morning, we awoke and he was holding me in his arms and I knew I was home.

* * *

_Hoshiko2_'s notes: Geez, I had no idea everyone would back-up American television so much. I'll never put it down again. Here, take the chapter I know _many_ of you have been waiting for as my apology. ;3

I'm sorry the sex sucked so bad... I'll do better next time, but a first time is always awkward and bad, so that's why this time around it sucks. ^^U

As for the amusing scene with the girl, it was provided by my pal deadlyrabbit. I fail hard at comedy, so I asked for her help. Huge props to Tig-chan for the spot of not only the song (Owata! By Gakupo [Vocaloid]), but also the historical catch of how Alfred and Kiku became friends. There are many many more that I litter through-out the series. :3

As a side note, I wrote Antonio and Gilbert's scene based off of _The Princess and the Frog_ song "When We're Human" and changed the words to fit those two. It was too perfect to pass up. (If Tiana's part had been in there, it would've so been Arthur bitchin' them out or something. _Oh Tiana_!)

Check here (http:/ / hoshiko2. livejournal. com /130430. html# cutid1) to get the FST! Or come and bother me on my Formspring (http:/ / www .formspring. me /hoshiko2) :3


	11. Chapter 10 and a half

When the sun rose, it was warm. Warmer than I had ever been. There were strong arms around my torso, keeping me close, and I felt safe and secure. Large hands caressed my face, sliding into my hair as a strong, bare chest breathed against me.

I wasn't alone.

Slowly, a loving smile spread across my face before I opened my eyes. I lifted my head upwards to find the lips I was searching for. He kissed me back gently.

"Good morning," he said quietly. I had never heard him so quiet and deep. It was mesmerizing to hear him go from such a loud and high voice to a smooth, low voice.

I snuggled into his chest, my hands splaying across his abs. My eyes were still closed, but I could see every part of Alfred in my mind. Last night, the image of his naked and sweaty body pouring itself completely into me would forever be etched into my mind. The curve of his sides, the slight jut out from his hips, his perfectly formed biceps. I think at one point my eyes were just stuck staring at his toned chest and arms, wondering if he was possibly part God. Seriously.

I lifted my head again, opening my eyes. "Good morning, love."

Alfred chuckled slightly. "Your accent is really thick."

"I'm just that happy," I whispered. My hands moved up his chest and up along his face. "You need to shave."

Alfred moved his hand across his jaw, thinking. "Hm, so it does. Maybe I should grow it out."

I shook my head, my smile never leaving. "I hate men with beards. You'd look awful."

"Would you kiss me?" Alfred tightened his hold on my waist. I shifted closer instinctively.

"Certainly not." My eyes roamed across his face, unable to picture him with a blonde beard. "I prefer my Americans to be clean shaven and with a baby face with yours."

"I do not have a baby face!" Alfred suddenly exclaimed.

There was a thump from downstairs and we both silenced instantly. We both realized a horrifying fact. My parents were home.

Alfred looked down between what little room there was between us. We had never cleaned up after one another from last night's intense passion. I could easily feel how sticky our stomachs were now, cursing my lack of sense. If only I had stopped to grab a towel so we could clean up afterwards, there wouldn't be a problem.

Then, it hit me.

"Alfred," I said seriously.

"Don't worry," Alfred said, sensing my distress. "I'll just sneak out of the house and we'll figure something out."

"No. Not that." I looked at him, my smile gone now. He looked alarmed, but said nothing. "We didn't use a condom last night."

Alfred almost barked out a laugh, but he covered his mouth in time. Instead he snorted into his hand as he looked at me incredulously. I remained stoic as I waited for him to see the gravity of the situation.

"You're really serious?" he asked after a time.

"Yes!" I hissed. "Have you been checked?"

Alfred shushed me and moved to sit up. He took one look at his stomach and grimaced. I sat up as well, not enjoying the feel of my own semen on my skin as much as him, but I wouldn't let him just ignore this issue. When it came to my health, I was very serious. When our relationship had begun, I instantly went to get myself checked for any sexual diseases, relieved to know I was clean. However, I was a firm believer of safe sex. It was frustratingly infuriating to know Alfred was so lackadaisical about the situation.

"No," he said, but quickly pushed on. "But that doesn't mean I've got something! You're my first, you know."

"I could tell," I muttered. "That doesn't mean you didn't get something. I mean, what about your mother or father? They could've carried and it was passed on to you."

Something I said must have struck a chord for Alfred's face turned stone cold serious in a second. I blinked in surprise at the change. He turned away from me, going over and grabbing his clothes. With his back to me, I could clearly see how stiff and tense he had become.

"Fine, I'll get checked," he grumbled.

"Alfred?" I asked, getting out of bed. My self-conscious state had returned and I took the blanket with me to cover my lower regions. I didn't care that Alfred had seen it more than once now. It was daytime, there's a difference. "What's wrong? Did I do something?"

For a moment, Alfred said nothing. I tentatively reached my hand out to touch his shoulder, but he turned with a smile.

"I'm gonna sneak out of the room to the bathroom and get us a damp towel, okay?" He looked so normal again, despite the steel color to his normally bright blue eyes.

My stomach tightened at the pain of being locked out of his heart. Again. Slowly, I nodded, not truly thinking of just what the implications meant of him sneaking out. I just stood in the same spot and watched as he crept to the door. My sense caught up with me and I shot out a hand to stop him.

"At least take a blanket!" I whispered quickly.

He smiled back at me, tugging on the blanket wrapped around my waist. "But it's preoccupied. Unless, you wanna drop that and let me see how beautiful you look in the morning light."

I flushed, turned, and threw one of my pillows at him. Grumbling, I called him a "git" to his chuckling backside. He stuck his head out, looked both ways down the hallway, and tiptoed down two doors to the bathroom at the end of the hall. I looked out as well, fearful that my parents could come 'round the bend any moment. If they saw me, I could explain I was getting in the shower in a moment, but if they saw Alfred…

Not a moment too soon, Alfred returned and slipped inside the barely open door. I closed it after him, locking it just in case. He was holding a damp towel in his hands. After quickly washing his chest off, he moved to me. Suddenly, the situation made me start to giggle. It turned into a full out laugh as Alfred stopped to stare at me.

"What?" he asked. He smiled, my contagious good mood spreading to him. "What is it?"

I shook my head as I moved to sit on the bed. He followed and I still laughed. Blinking back tears, I looked at him. "I feel like we're such hooligans or something. Breaking the law and what not. It's ridiculous."

Alfred laughed as well, putting his hand over his mouth again. Oh, that sexy voice had returned too as his short-lived bad mood melted away. "Yeah, well, we kind of are. We totally broke your dad's rule."

I "hm"ed as I smiled at him, my eyes shining. I'm not quite sure what came over me, but I felt so confident in my own skin at just knowing Alfred was here. Beside me. In the morning. Buck naked.

He cupped my jaw in his palm, looking in my eyes earnestly. A small smile was on his lips. "You don't give a damn about that, do you?"

I shook my head. "Not really. No."

"Really? Mr. Rules?" he chuckled, his thumb rubbing my chin slowly. "What happened?"

I put my hand on his wrist, smiling more as I opened up to him. If he couldn't trust me, I would have to trust him. He would have to see that I was not someone like his father. I wasn't there to hurt him. I was there to stay. And maybe, just maybe, over time, he'd open up to me. All the lies would pour out of him as truths and he'd love me with unbridled strength. Our lovemaking and music would become all that more precious as it would become real and strong. Just the prospect of that happening gave me hope for the future.

"You happened," I started, my cheeks heating up. "You with your free spirit. You who told me to do what I love. I have. The band was a start, but now I know what I want to do with my life."

Alfred's smile had developed into something grand as he listened to me. "Yeah? And what's that?"

"Be with you," I whispered. I leaned forward, kissing him like never before. This time, I dominated his mouth, pushing my tongue into his mouth and pouring my tongue into every crevice of him to fill him with me.

He made a noise of surprise, but welcomed me. The hand that had been under my chin slide back behind my ear, pulling me closer. I felt him shift so he was laying back and I on top of him. For a split second I felt like I should just ride him, show him a proper fuck, but decided against it. We were fortunate to not be caught so far, but pressing our luck would be foolish. I'd like to think I wasn't a fool.

Breaking the kiss, Alfred inhaled deeply. He smiled, opening his brilliant eyes to look at me. "Wow. We should have sex more often. You're so open."

I blushed at that realization. I quickly ducked my head, but he grabbed my face. He sat up slightly.

"Oh no! Aw, don't do that, come on." He laughed as he tried to make me look at him. "Hey, come on. I like it. I like you being open with me."

I glanced up at him. "I'd like for you to be…"

Alfred looked panicked for a moment before there was a sound from outside my door. We jumped, but remained silent. We quickly remembered both of my parents were not far from us and only a thin door separated us. After we were both sure they were gone, I sat up and moved to retrieve our clothes.

"They know you're here," I whispered. I put a clean shirt on and pulled on some jeans. "Your truck is outside."

Alfred had pulled on the shirt from yesterday before looking at me with a thoughtful expression. He put on his glasses, saying, "I could climb out your window, go to the door, and say I left my car here because you took me home last night. Then we could go to my house and get me a new change of clothes."

I considered him a moment, my eyes somber. "You're rather good with coming up with lies, aren't you?"

Alfred, again, missed my deeper meaning as he thought a moment. "It's not a big deal to lie every once in awhile and it's not like we're hurting anyone. There are just some things better left unsaid as a truth, you know?"

"No, I don't know," I said to myself. Then I remembered what he had said a moment before about his escape plan.

"Wait, did you say you'd go out my window?" I looked out to see the large Evergreen. Alfred opened it and looked down at the ground. "I don't trust the branches. What if they break and you fall and hurt yourself?"

Alfred turned and smiled. He took my hands in his. "Arthur… You know, earlier, what you said about me… That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said about me."

I blushed again, but didn't look away. "That doesn't mean the tree branches won't break."

"No, but I wanted you to know in case they did and I plummeted to my death," he laughed. I barked at him, ready to smack him in the shoulder, but he jumped out the window. The branches held and he shot a grin my way. "Looks pretty steady. All right, I'll be at your front door in a few minutes. Be ready!"

With a wink, he jumped. I looked down, my mouth opened to call to him, but he was fine. With a wave, he moved to sneak to the front of my house. I smiled despite myself. He was still so very much a child, but he was also so much wiser than me in other ways. I'd never tell him this, mind you. I'll keep him blissfully unaware of my admiration for him and opt for criticizing his stupid actions instead.

* * *

* * *

_Hoshiko2_'s cents: SURPRISE! You get a half chapter because I saw that I now have over 100 reviews. Seriously, I never thought I could get that much in my fanfic writing time. This makes me so happy. I thought I'd give you this really sappy and fluffy time with the boys. It also gives insight into Arthur's personality. I also gave away a big thing about Alfred's past. PLEASE NO GUESSES YET! I don't want to say anything more. 3

Oh, and here's chapter 11 too. Love you guys.


	12. Chapter 11

Alfred pulled up to his house, cutting the engine. He looked to me with a bright smile, but I was looking past him. I had never been to his house. It didn't look ominous or even extraordinary. I was half-expecting some rundown house on the bad side of the tracks. I knew it was bad of me to think such a thing, but I had only lived in the suburbs of America and England all of my life, so how was I to know what someone with Alfred's background lived in? My imagination got the better of me.

The house was a modest ranch-style home, pale blue with awful white awnings over the kitchen window. A rather dilapidated pick-up truck was in the driveway with a For Sale sign on the dashboard. I remember Alfred saying he was to get that when he graduated high school if it didn't sell. I really hoped it sold soon. I quite liked the truck he had now.

"I just gotta grab a change of clothes." Alfred paused, giving me an awkward smile. "You…can come in if you want."

"Sure." I did my best to mask how excited I was that I was finally going in to the boy's house. He had seen mine enough times to be a regular resident, thoroughly going through every inch of my room, and taking up the couch so much he was making a permanent dent. Not that anyone in my family minded. Alfred was company to me, something that took me away from my loneliness and gave my parents an excuse to stay out longer.

Alfred and I walked up his poorly tended lawn to the front door. Alfred stopped to find his keys when he hunched down as if he were suddenly in a hurry to run in. He grabbed my hand as soon as the door was opened. I found myself being rushed down a hallway with disgusting faded yellow wallpaper. It looked like there were a few burn marks on the tan carpet. Alfred kept a firm hand on my back as he pushed me towards what I gathered was his room as it was the only door that was open.

There was a noise behind us and Alfred swore under his breath. Someone was home. Before I had a chance to see who it was, Alfred shoved me into his bedroom and slammed the door closed. I heard his weight pressed against the door as loud thundering footsteps made their way towards the both of us.

"Alfred!" I froze at the rough voice. His father. "Are you home?"

"Yeah, I'm in my room," Alfred called back. His voice was surprisingly steady.

The loud stomps stopped shortly before Alfred. I could hear a grumble from his father.

"You're outside of it," he said with an obvious drunken waver to it. I wrinkled my nose at the fact it was hardly one in the afternoon and the man was already intoxicated. "Why are you standing like that? Is someone here?"

"No dad. Just go back to the kitchen. I'm leaving soon so you don't have to worry." That was a tone of voice I had never heard from Alfred before. It didn't scare me, but it made me wonder just what look accompanied it. Perhaps if I saw it, then I'd become frightened.

"Who's here?" Alfred's father grabbed him by the shoulder, but Alfred fought back. "Let me see! Is there some kind of whore in there? Did you bring home a guy to fuck you little pillow biter?"

"Dad, go away! Stop it! This is my room!" Alfred shouted. He kept his back firmly against the door. "Mom said you can't go in here!"

"Shut up boy!" I grabbed the door handle, my heart pounding. I wasn't sure what good I would do by showing my face, but maybe I could prevent Alfred from being hurt. I worried where this would lead. "Let me in your fucking room!"

There were loud poundings from Alfred and his father tussling to get into his bedroom. Slowly, I backed away in fear. What if he got in the room? Would he hit me? Would Alfred's temper snap and his ugly side rear its head? If that man even tried to lay a finger on Alfred, I'm pretty sure even I would become uncontrollable.

I could hear Alfred's limit reaching the max, just like it had when he found Smith on top of me with hands on my neck. "Damnit dad! The phone's ringing! Now go answer it! I bet it's that Spanish chick!"

That seemed to work as the fight instantly stopped. Loud stomps faded away down the hallway. The door pushed in suddenly and I was caught off balance. I fell back onto the floor. Above me was Alfred with a very red and unstable expression. He looked at me as if he were terrified of me. I started to get up when he grabbed me tightly, pulling me to his chest.

He sighed into my hair, his heart hammering in his chest, before whispering, "I'm sorry… He's not normally like that. He got laid off recently, so he's not in the best of moods."

Quickly, he released me and stalked to his dresser. I don't think he knew what he was grabbing as he just tossed a shirt and pants into the overnight bag. I waited for my adrenaline to slow the beating of my heart. The previous encounter was too much for me. I had never had _that_ bad of a fight with any of my brothers. It only made me wonder just how truly awful those arguments could really become.

It was then I noticed Alfred's bedroom. Unlike the rest of his poorly kept house, his bedroom was bright and lovely. He had posters of superheroes, aliens, and famous Hollywood movies adorning his walls while photos of him with Matthew and Kiku were on a bookshelf to my right. His bed, however, wasn't made. On instinct, I moved to make it.

"I'm gonna get my toothbrush," Alfred said before slipping out the door.

I glanced over to see the door close, but then my eyes caught something. It a photo frame with a picture of me and Alfred during one of our dates. I remember putting up a protest at the time, greatly hating how bad I always looked when photos developed. Alfred merely laughed and charmed me into a semi-normal pose. I still think I looked hideous.

Next to it was a little, hand-carved wooden doll. A doll I had gotten years ago when I first moved to America. My grandfather had sent it to me in a horrible way of cheering me up at my change of location. The entire collection was to be spread out between me and my brothers. I hated the doll.

It was made to look like the soldiers in the Revolutionary War and didn't make me laugh as my grandfather had thought. Instead, I gave it to the first American I saw.

"Hey!" Alfred said as he came back in. "My dad's gonna be on the phone awhile, so we can leave now if you-"

He stopped short at seeing me holding the doll. I looked to him, my eyes wide.

"Alfred. What is this?"

The boy turned into an inarticulate pile of nerves. It was touching to see his face heat up, his hands work at his clothes until they wrinkled, and his eyes look away from me. I felt so powerful at that moment. He hadn't even confessed to keeping the doll after all these years and I felt more loved by one person than anyone else at that moment.

"Well, you see," he started after many failed attempts to gather up courage. "You gave it to me when we met… I thought it was so cool. I just… had to keep it. And then…Well… I got my crush on you…so I kept it and then…"

I moved to kiss and hug Alfred tightly. My emotions driven by my adrenaline caused me to cling to him almost as if I were desperate. And I was. I had almost missed this. Missed him. Missed all of his love pressed on my lips, wrapping around my waist, and concealed in the doll he had kept all these years. Because of me.

"I love you," I whispered against his lips.

He smiled, kissing me back lightly. "I love you too."

Smiling gently, I caressed his forehead, pushing back the bangs to give him a chaste kiss. He was such a careless fool to let this control his life. So many things he could do, so many hands that could reach out to help him, so many ways he could protect himself. But then again, I was a bigger fool.

I gave him my heart.

A loud band sounded from the door as Alfred's father's voice boomed through the wood. "LET ME IN! YOU HAVE SOMEONE IN THERE!"

Alfred stumbled back, holding me close to his chest. I had never seen him so fearful before. His eyes were wide, pupils dilated, and color devoid from his face. His fingers bore into my shoulder, turning me so I couldn't see the door anymore; as if that would protect me. The banging continued and Alfred just held me.

Strangely, I was reminded of me. Of how I felt when I saw Alfred injured. How I wanted to take him in my arms and suck away all of the pain and fear.

I had had quite enough of this.

While Alfred's father continued to yell, I lightly pushed Alfred aside. He looked at me with panic across his face, but I shook my head. I remained calm. If this man harmed me, I knew Alfred was there. He would protect me.

Slowly, I went and opened the door. Alfred's father stumbled, caught off guard by the fact the door had actually opened. He was a large man, but not in the attractive way Alfred is. He had muscles, but my eyes weren't look at them. I stared at his rather large beer belly instead. That and the man were balding and had vicious brown eyes. So unlike Alfred in every sense of the word.

He stood up straight as he sized me with his eyes. A small smirk twitched on his lips as he chuckled. "I guess you're Alfred's little fuck buddy?"

Alfred moved behind me, but I didn't. I remained tall and firm. "Hello. I'm Arthur Kirkland, sir. I am Alfred's boyfriend, as is the proper term, and I assure you we are not just 'fuck buddies'. We are quite in love with one another."

The man barked out a loud laugh that hurt my ears. Alfred's was always so full of life while this man sounded condescending just from a laugh. He shook his head as he returned his attention back to me.

"A Limey? Really?" He laughed at me and then at Alfred. "Wow, Alfred, you're really getting out there aren't you?"

"Don't call him that," Alfred growled.

The man's eyebrows furrowed as his smile vanished, replaced with a scowl. "Don't you tell me what to do, boy!"

"I would prefer to be called British or English, if you don't mind," I cut in sharply. The man looked back at me, his anger quelling instantly. "I wouldn't call you a Yank, now would I?"

Another laugh and then a hand on my shoulder. I refused to flinch. "If you did, I'd belt you in the jaw."

"Ah, but then I'd call the police on you." I smiled back with a feral look to my eyes. "I am of age, just like Alfred will be in a few short weeks. Any harm upon an adult, family or not, will be considered a felony. I do hope you know your own laws."

Alfred's father tightened his grip on my shoulder, but I remained still. He was testing me. I couldn't let him win. Alfred needed to see there was another way around the issue of his father. A more mature and less violent way. Hopefully he had also caught on to the fact that once Alfred turned eighteen, the man could legally no longer hit him. Of course, he shouldn't and Social Services should have been called years ago, but that matter was past. Alfred was almost a legal adult now.

Suddenly, Alfred's father smiled. And not in a devious or snarky way. It looked more like an accepting one. He gave me a pat on the shoulder, releasing me. "All right, you're not half bad."

"Does this mean I have permission to date your son?" I asked.

The man's eyes flashed, similar to Alfred's own earlier in my bedroom. He glanced at Alfred behind me; the two having a moment of unspoken communication. I waited, curious as to what was happening. But the man returned his cold eyes to me.

"Sure, fuck the little bastard all night. I don't give a damn."

And he left.

Once he was out of the room, Alfred slammed the door closed. His back was to me and I said nothing. I looked to the photo frame on his nightstand instead. When I looked back, Alfred was coming right for me. He took my mouth in his, shoved me onto his bed and decided he would do just as his father had said a moment ago.

However, I stopped him short of putting his hands down my pants. It had been an emotional moment and, I noticed quite quickly, that Alfred becomes very physical when his emotions are encroached upon. Whether it be violent with his father or sexual with me. But, seeing as how his father was still in the house and we didn't have any proper lubrication or protection, I refused him.

He sighed as he pulled away. I think he realized what he almost did and moved away sheepishly. I didn't blame him.

"Alfred," I whispered, my hand on his. "Are you all right?"

He gave a shaky sigh before smiling at me. "That was…amazing. I've never seen that side of you."

"Yes, well, you didn't think I controlled the entire academy based on my charm and wit, now did you?" I cracked a toothy grin earning one from him in return.

He took my hands in his, blushing slightly. "That was hot. I mean…really hot. You should be dominant more often. I've never seen that side of you."

"Believe it or not, I'm actually a very strong chap," I said with a chuckle. "You saw my brothers. I grew up with that lot. But." I leaned over, kissing Alfred on the cheek. "I don't want to control you… You're uncontrollable. Part of the reason I love you."

"Sometimes, I want you to control me," he whispered. I felt as if that were a very deep, dark secret of his that he fantasized about. It caused me to flush and pull back, but he grabbed my wrist. "Not all the time. I mean…ya know."

I smirked knowingly. "Yes, yes I do know. Pervert."

"I'm not the pervert!" Alfred exclaimed and I laughed. "Who's the one that reads porn here!"

"Oh come off it, Alfred. You expect me to think you _actually _don't read porn?" I crossed my arms. "You're a football player, first of all, making you susceptible to their young, horny minds. Second, you're a healthy American teenaged lad. Why wouldn't you?"

"Well," Alfred blushed, ducking his head. "I mean, yeah, I read…porn and all, but… Not…gay porn like you do…"

At this, I smacked Alfred as I flustered about, my face becoming redder. "Th-that's! How dare? Well who cares? It's important to be well rounded and branch out your views on life and that includes looking at gay porn so that way I can be prepared! Unlike you!"

Alfred continued to laugh at me, poking my cheek. I slapped at his hand, but he kept coming. Then, he closed the distance between us to stare into my eyes, effectively shutting me up. He smiled that smile and I scowled my usual scowl.

"I'll know next time… Don't worry." He kissed my nose. "I promise it'll be much better."

My scowl was melting into a smile quickly. Damnit. "Well that will be because next time, I will be the one to take you."

I believe seeing Alfred's shocked face was the highlight of my day.

* * *

"What is this? I don't want her here!"

I hadn't even entered Francis' house and I could hear drama. Alfred and I were outside, ready to ring the doorbell, when we could clearly hear Gilbert's voice and the angry tone he spoke with. I looked to Alfred in surprise.

"Now what?"

We went inside without ringing as the door was unlocked. In the front room were a piano, a drum set, a microphone stand, and a rather unhappy albino German. But that wasn't what caught my attention. Rather it was a brunette girl I remembered from a few weeks back when I had been attacked at school.

"Elizaveta?" I asked.

She turned with an aggravated look, but recognition as to who I was. She sighed, storming up to me. Alfred tried to move, but the girl was faster. She snatched my hand, dragging me to the center. I realized that Matthew hadn't come back from his trip to see the new house. It was Friday and he had left at the beginning of the week. I guess that explained why Alfred had been over almost all day and all night this past week.

"We'll see what the leader has to say about this!" she exclaimed.

I failed at stopping my body from being forced into the middle of a problem that didn't involve me when I realized it did involve me. It involved the band.

"Hold on," I said, tearing my hand free. "I'm not the leader. And what's going on? I won't agree to anything until I know the details."

Felix came forward with his hands on his hips and a cross look on his usually gentle features. "I totally thought we should, like, have a manager to help us sort out when we get shows, ya know? Elizaveta is one of my bestest friends. She's my girl! I can't just leave her hanging when she's got, like, connections and stuff!"

Elizaveta nodded, turning her large green eyes back on me. "And I can play a few instruments, like the clarinet and the tambourine! I can even sing as a backup! If you needed an extra member for a song, I could join in! I'm a two-for-one deal here!"

"But she's creampuff's little girlfriend!" Gilbert exclaimed. He forced his way into the picture while pointing an accusing finger at Roderich. "If we let her in there's gonna be drama and shit! It'll tear the band apart!"

"But Alfred and Arthur are together and there's no drama!" Elizaveta argued. "It's only drama right now because _you're_ making it!"

"Well excuse me, princess!" Gilbert shouted.

"DON'T CALL ME PRINCESS YOU-!"

"EVERYONE SHUT UP!"

Everyone in the room turned to stare at me in shock. I was never one to raise my voice, even when I got upset. Out of everyone in the room, I was the person who kept his calm the most. Well, Alfred could say otherwise, but that was Alfred. As far as really losing my temper, it was rare.

I had my hands out to separate the two and was snarling at them both. "Now stop this! The both of you! Gilbert, you're in college and should act much more mature than this. Elizaveta, this is quite unladylike of you. Now then, I don't care who is dating whom. That's not my concern. If this is drama it is to be _outside_ of this band! As for the idea of a manager, I am fully in agreement of it."

Felix pumped a fist in the air. "All right leader!"

"Felix, I'm not the leader," I said seriously. "And I'm only agreeing with you on this idea because I believe it's not really our strong suit to arrange our own shows, seeing as how we don't know what venues will take us. Elizaveta, if you can prove yourself a good manager to our needs, then I see no harm in keeping you."

"And me being back-up member?" she asked eagerly, her eyes shining.

"One thing at a time," I said. "Now then, I have agreed. What of the rest of the band. This is a democratic country, yes?"

"Oh fuck yes it is." Alfred strode into the center. "All right guys, all in favor of keeping our Hungarian friend, say 'Aye'."

"Aye!" Four voices were heard and four hands were counted.

"All in favor say 'Ney'."

"Ney!" Only one hand and voice was counted.

I looked to Antonio sitting by the window. Then to Francis standing nearby. "You two didn't vote. Why not?"

"I don't like confrontations," Francis said smoothly.

"And I don't care either way," Antonio replied.

"Whatever." I sighed and turned to Gilbert. "I'm sorry Gilbert, but the band has voted."

"Yeah, well, you guys will all see what a horrible choice this is," he grumbled, waving his hands out to us.

I narrowed my eyes. "Gilbert, if you want to stay in this band you have to a mature adult, understand? Can you promise me and the rest of your mates that you and Elizaveta will get along?"

"Sure, I promise." He shot a glare to the brunette girl. "What about _her_?"

"Yes of course I'll be good!" She skipped over to her boyfriend and smiled at him. He merely sighed and shook his head, but a tiny smile was there. For a moment, I was reminded of Alfred and me.

That's when an idea struck me. I turned to Alfred and thought up a lie, fast. "Alfred, I left my cell phone in the truck. Would you mind getting it for me?"

"Sure thing!" He left quickly and I turned to the band.

"I need your help, everyone," I said quickly. I held up my hands to signal that they needed to keep their voices down. Fat good that did since Alfred was at his truck already and couldn't hear us even if we talked normally. "Alfred's and Matthew's eighteenth birthday are coming up. I want to do something special for them."

"Oh, our little _Mathieu_ is becoming legal?" Francis perked up at this.

I pointed a finger at Francis, my eyes warning him. "Watch it. Don't forget who his brother is."

"What did you have in mind?" Roderich asked. "Were you going to write another song?"

"Are you going to pop out of a cake?" Gilbert seemed far too enthusiastic for that to just be an idea.

"Would you prefer I did?" I asked, turning away from him. Suddenly, I felt his hands on my shoulders, squeezing ever so lightly.

"Maybe," he breathed on the back of my neck.

I shivered and moved to push him away, when the front door slammed closed. I looked over to find Alfred staring at Gilbert and I. He was red in the face and his eyes were quickly becoming angry. Oh good, the lad wasn't immune from jealousy. Still, I'd rather a fight didn't break out.

"There will be none of that." I smacked Gilbert's hand and moved to the piano. "Now then, we'll discuss everything later. Let's just practice, shall we?"

Alfred went to set up his saxophone, but kept a wary eye on Gilbert and me. I couldn't blame him. I wish I could grow a third eye and keep a watch on the boy, but that was impossible. I'd just have to keep my guard up. Especially since, I soon realized to my horror, Gilbert and Antonio attended the same college Francis and I had been accepted into.

Wonderful.

* * *

_Hoshiko2_'s cents: DO-RA-MA! How I love it so. Yes, after two very happy and fluffy chapters, take this one. Full of a mean ass parent and drama with the band.

Elizaveta is the _final_ member. She's my favorite of the _Hetalia _girls and I _had_ include her. Plus, I wanted to surprise you guys. ;3

Sorry for no sex this chapter. You'll get more next chapter. ;3


	13. Chapter 12

It was nearing noon when Alfred texted me, complaining he had yet to see me or any of this "surprise" I had hinted at for the past few days. I had been driving in my car to pick him up, nearing his street, but "forgot" to tell him I was heading over. I couldn't help but smile at seeing his impatience. There were just some things about the boy that were very childlike and, while I loved to tease him about it, I admired him for it. He had been physically and emotionally abused for, as far as I knew, a few years now and yet had retained that childish quirk to him that most never had even as a child.

It was far too charming most days, annoying other days.

Today was Alfred's birthday, though, so I had to go with charming. I was doing everything I could to remain happy, considering it was a holiday I had never once celebrated and I was under a lot of stress to make sure the surprise was going smoothly. Of course there were many problems, mainly in the name of Gilbert and Antonio.

The duo had decided to team up and press all of the wrong buttons for an entire week. Whether it be Gilbert with his roaming hands or Antonio with his double meaning sentences. I tried to give Antonio a break seeing as English was his second language and he might not have a full grasp on the language yet. Although, certain things such as "Your hands are marvelous. I wonder what else they can do" really made me wonder.

Gilbert has no excuse.

Since the band started doing exclusive practice in preparation for Alfred and Matthew's birthday party, I've caught Gilbert staring at my butt five times, each day, as well as have his long fingers slide into my back pockets while he leans far too close. One day I punched him in the jaw that sent him sprawling onto the floor where everyone, but me, laughed at him.

"Do _not_ touch me again!" I seethed, practically spitting venom at him.

"Oh come on, Eyebrows," he started.

I aimed another blow at his head, but he dodged it just before I connected with his temple. "Don't call me that!"

That was Alfred's nickname. Even Francis didn't call me that. He preferred Caterpillar 'Brows.

"Then can I call you Sexy Mama?" Gilbert smiled up at me with that toothy grin where I could see his canines clearly. It disturbed me.

This time I picked up a chair and came at him. The band stopped me as Gilbert scrambled out of the room, his hands out in defense. After that, one would think he'd stop.

Yeah, I thought so too.

A jingle and a vibration from my phone snapped me back to reality. I was grateful to escape those tortuous memories of Gilbert and his hands and those eyes and that smile and-

" 'Ello?" I answered, remembering to lay on my accent as thick as possible. Alfred loved that the most.

"I'm bored!" he whined. I glared at the phone, hoping for a better reaction than that. "Come see me, Arthur."

I couldn't suppress the shiver as Alfred purred into the phone. That was the reaction I was looking for and responded to much better.

Grateful Alfred couldn't see my red face or the loopy smile on my face, I replied. "I'm coming to get you in a moment, you impatient boy."

"No, no, call me lad."

"You hate when I call you that," I chuckled.

Alfred made a sound like he was thinking. I could see those eyes looking up as he pretended to mull over something that wasn't there. "Yeah, but I want to hear it today. It sounds great in your little British accent."

"Fine. Are you ready? I'm about to pull up to your house," I said as I turned the corner onto his street. After his confrontation with his father I hadn't returned to the house. Still, I knew where it was off of memory. That and a map that I printed off of the internet.

"Yeah!" He quickly hung up.

I slapped my phone shut, looking out my passenger window to see Alfred jump out the front door of his house. He had a backpack slung over his shoulder. Ah, he's planning on spending the night. I couldn't help but smile as he climbed into my car.

"Hey!" he exclaimed breathlessly. He leaned over, giving me a quick kiss on the lips, which I returned, before settling into his seat. "So! Where are we going?"

I looked behind him anxiously. Alfred looked as well, but returned his face to me confused. "Something wrong?"

"Where's Matthew?" I asked.

At this, Alfred looked down at his lap. I gripped the wheel, nervous something had happened again. Scared another lie was forming in the American's brain. No, please, not on this special day.

"He moved already," Alfred said suddenly. I was relieved at the absence of any lie, but showed my initial surprise. "I didn't want to tell you until…later. I mean, he's still going to come for our performance Saturday so there's no worry about it and he was going to tell everyone then. It's just, mom wanted out…now."

I nodded, vividly recalling that man the poor woman was married to. While in Alfred's house I had managed to get a glimpse of a picture of his mother. She was a beautiful lady, the same blonde hair the twins sported and the same almost violet eyes that Matthew had. However, even in the photo I could sense the sadness in her small smile as she stood beside her two grown boys, taller than her by a few good centimeters.

I wanted to say so much. Something to comfort Alfred. The last time he had been so open, I comforted him with my arms holding him and my hands caressing him. This time, he wasn't crying, but he might as well have been. His twin was gone and he had been split in two. What a horrific birthday present from his family.

Somehow, hope spread slowly through my veins. If his family had failed him on his eighteenth birthday, then I wouldn't.

I reached a hand out to take his, squeezing it gently until Alfred looked at me. The blue hue standing out so much more at the prospect of tears. And yet, he managed a flicker of a smile for me. I returned to smile tenfold, trying my best to reflect the strength I was summing up for him.

"You'll be fine." I found that was all I could say. And believed it.

His family and life had thrown so much at him. Before we had gotten together, he had found a way. Some way. With me at his side now, he would have an easier time. I would make it easier. I would protect him. Even if that meant I took the pain.

Alfred's smile broke through his momentary sadness, culminating in a full grin as he agreed. "You're right. Ah, what am I doing? It's my birthday!"

I laughed, sitting straight in my seat, but keeping hold of his hand. "Happy Birthday, love."

"Ah, I love it when you call me that," he sighed.

"Then I'll always call you it." I turned to face the street, doing my best to not feel a weight sinking into the pit of my stomach.

_Can you handle it?

* * *

_

"Arthur? What's going on?"

"Almost there."

"Come on, I can't see!"

"You'll see soon, love. Now keep hold of my hand."

"Am I going to run into anything?"

"Alfred, shush."

"…Hey, we could do something really kinky right now."

"S-SHUT UP!"

My hand shot out to find the light switch, fumbling against the wall as Alfred's hands suddenly ran up underneath the back of my shirt. Goosebumps prickled on my skin. I found the switch, quickly turning it on.

"SURPRISE!"

Alfred screamed, stumbling back into the door. I remained where I was and quickly fixed my shirt. Gilbert was already staring.

"What… What's going on?" Alfred asked as he worked to compose himself.

"This is your surprise party, _mi hermano_!" Antonio rushed over, putting a birthday party hat atop Alfred's head.

"A party?" Alfred looked up at the Spaniard with wide, innocent eyes. "For me?"

"_Si_. Do you not know a birthday party when you see one?" Antonio laughed as he helped Alfred stand up. He gave him a pat on the back, shoving him out towards the crowd of people.

I had led Alfred to Roderich's house, a place he'd never seen before. Once there, we snuck in through the back entrance. The Austrian's house was so massive I convinced Alfred that it was really a hotel resort. It worked as Alfred quickly pretended to be a spy, even giving himself his own theme music. Once inside, I made a beeline for the living room where I knew the curtains had been drawn, the lights turned off, and everyone hiding in anticipation.

At first I was extremely nervous of inviting so many people, especially since many I was unsure if they were still Alfred's friends given the recent episode at school. However, I was amazed that so many replied so quickly. But, overtime I learned quite a few was there for free food. Well, at least the football team was. I decided that I'd do my best to keep Alfred away from them for as long as I possibly could.

"I've…I've never had a birthday party," Alfred whispered, his eyes looking from one person to the next. "I mean…not since I was eleven."

"Arthur did it," Gilbert said suddenly. He smirked in my general direction forcing me to look away with a red face. "He put the entire thing together."

"_Qui_, but it was also for our dear _Mathieu_. Where is he?" Francis asked, his face looking around expectantly.

Alfred didn't miss a beat. "He's out with the folks today. I told them I wouldn't join since Arthur told me he was planning something. But…"

He looked at me, tenderness in his eyes as he came closer. "I had no idea he was planning something like…this."

"Oh please," I scoffed. "It's nothing but a party."

"Yeah, but it's a party you put on for me…," Alfred murmured, closing the distance between us.

"Alfred, there are people here," I grumbled, trying to move away from those arms encircling me. But Alfred didn't care. He never cared. Bloody prat. There were still people present that didn't accept our lifestyle.

"Give him a kiss!" Gilbert shouted.

"GO FOR IT!" Elizaveta screamed from the back. I think she was holding a camera.

And then Alfred's lips were on mine. It wasn't passionate, but it wasn't short. It was tender and sweet, pressing and sucking lightly on mine, stealing my breath without making my mouth open. My hands automatically went to grasp at his arms as I felt my knees go weak. A few people cooed in approval while others remained stoic.

Then, Gilbert's horn softly broke through the atmosphere. It was accompanied by Elizaveta playing the trombone and Roderich on the cello. It was the first song we had all practiced. I knew I wasn't needed to perform for this song, so instead, I decided on something else. I broke the kiss as softly as Alfred had started it.

"Alfred, may I have this dance?" I asked. I took a few steps back, bowing slightly, as I held my hand out.

He nodded, speechless, taking my hand and wrapping the other around my waist. We started a slow, romantic dance. A few other couples had joined us in dancing as Francis' voice rang out in the expansive living room. We had chosen Roderich's house for a reason. The floor was marble and the walls were perfect for sound quality. Bless his parents for agreeing to leave for the day.

"_You're nobody 'till somebody loves you… You're nobody 'till somebody cares…_"

"I love you, Arthur," Alfred whispered. He put his forehead against mine and closed his eyes. A small smile, most unlike his other forced ones, was ghosting his lips.

I could only caress that sweet face, soaking in the love he was giving me without words. I could fall forever into that. Forever into Alfred.

"I love you too…"

* * *

"Are you enjoying your party?" I asked Alfred.

It had been an hour later and the band was on break. After our first dance, I excused myself to continue playing a few other songs while Alfred mingled with his guests. Some were genuinely happy to see him, expressing their well wishes, while others passed him by. Nothing could bring down the boy, though. He was far too caught up in the happiness that today was rightfully his day.

Alfred looked up from his plate of cookies and assorted chips. He jumped up, hugging me tightly. "It's amazing! Thank you so much, Artie!"

I shot him an annoyed look. He laughed, covering his mouth as he stepped away.

"Oops! Sorry. I forgot. _Arthur_."

I rolled my eyes. "Forget it. It's your birthday. I'll let it pass just this once."

"Yeah, well, how are you enjoying your first Fourth of July? Pretty awesome, huh?" Alfred eyed the fireworks stash sitting near the fireplace. Everyone had been told that we wouldn't set off a single one until it neared dinner time.

"I'm ignoring the fact that so many people are rejoicing the loss of my country from this continent and focusing on the fact that you were born today instead," I replied, taking a sip of my juice.

Alfred laughed, stuffing his face with some chips. We watched a few people nearby chattering on aimlessly. It was nice to just be there with Alfred, not having to talk, and still enjoying each other's company. Alfred was slowly slipping into quiet moments these days, especially when I knitted or made tea. He preferred to just watch me or stare off into space rather than talk.

"So!" he said, interrupting the moment. "Did you decide on what you wanna do at college? Remember when we had our second tutor session? I asked if you knew what to do and you said no."

"I didn't say no," I said, recalling the day. "I explained that it will come in time when I reach college. However… I believe I have made a choice."

"Yeah?" Alfred smiled, inching closer in anticipation. It was quite cute.

"I believe I want to do something in the fields of writing or teaching. I've found that I really enjoy writing and immersing myself in the English language." I smiled into my juice.

"That's awesome!" Alfred exclaimed. "Aw Artie, I'm so proud of you!"

"Yes, well, what of you?" I asked, trying to ignore the blush on my face. "What have you thought of doing?"

Alfred looked up, that young smile returning. I believe I saw a glimmer in his eyes as well. _So adorable_.

"Ever since I was a kid, I wanted to do something with science. Maybe be a scientist or an astronomer. Maybe even an astronaut! Ya know? Just something _really_ cool like that!" He smiled at me with all the youthful bliss of a child.

But it was erased at the sight of my expression. I had a sarcastic smile, amazed he really thought of such an improbable future, and was laughing quietly under my breath.

"How silly," I said.

Alfred turned away at once, his mood dropping quickly. I knew I had made a mistake.

"No, I mean!" I reached out to grab his arm. "Alfred, I'm sorry. I didn't mean you were silly. I just mean-"

"My dream is." There it was. That familiar tired pain in his voice. The one that emerged when he repeated something awful all too often. His father had said something similar.

And now I had gone and repeated it.

"No!" I shouted. A few people turned to look at us. "No, no it's not. It's just… In this economy. Is it really that stable?"

Alfred turned quickly, his eyes turning to anger. "What does it matter? As long as I'm happy, right? Is it really stable to be a teacher or a writer? Huh? What if you suck? What then, Grammar Nazi?"

I stepped back, surprised. Alfred may not have hit me, but he may as well have. The guests had stopped talking, watching us, and I believe someone turned down the music in the background. Alfred must have realized he had startled me for his hands instantly went out to touch me. Hold me close.

But I slapped away at his hands. I was tired and still reeling from the stress. I don't care if Alfred was hurt by my words, I was by his.

"Don't talk to me that way!" I shouted. He stepped back.

Sure, sometimes we had gotten into a scuffle or two or three since we started dating, but my raised voice was never one for concern. It only took a few moments of us separated that we were fine again. This time, however, I was serious.

"I have a _right_ to say what I want! And I can say if I think that your dream is a little unstable! It's not like I give a damn or anything!"

"Hey, what's going on?" Gilbert decided he'd intervene at that moment, Antonio at his side.

"_Mis hermanos_, please don't fight!" Antonio set his hands on my shoulders and Alfred's eyes lit up in jealousy.

"I'll handle this with _my_ boyfriend."

Now, as threatening as it was to hear Alfred's voice drop that low, it was downright refreshing to see someone become jealous of me. I felt quite good seeing not just Alfred ruffle his feathers, but have Gilbert and Antonio move to pull me back to them. Of course, if my mind would get out of the gutter, I would have preferred that such a thought had never entered my mind. Still, seeing Alfred go from an oblivious boyfriend to a protective one was really endearing.

"Yes," I cut in before the two behind me could intervene again. "It is merely a little scuffle. Nothing to get everyone riled up. We shall handle it like adults. That is what we are now, right?"

I gave Alfred a warning look and he caught on. He nodded, backing away a bit. I shrugged Antonio's hands off of me. "You two can go. Please."

After a moment, they decided it was for the best and left. Alfred and I waited until everyone resumed talking and ignoring our silly fights. And before long, Alfred had swept me into his arms, kissing me suddenly. I gasped in surprise, but welcomed this moment. Anything to escape that last one.

"Your dream isn't silly," I said against Alfred's lips. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry for calling you that name," he said desperately. "And for yelling. You did so much for me. And as for your job, you'll be fine. You're so smart."

"As are you, love." I smiled as Alfred responded to the nickname. Yes, I had pulled that out on him. "You're brilliant and will make it to the moon someday if you so desire."

"I already am."

* * *

"Wow!" Alfred stopped as he turned to see the view from atop the hill where I had led him to. The early evening stars had begun to poke out, their twinkling light intermingling with that of the small town down below. In the distance were the campfires from those trying to stay warm in the crisp mid-summer air.

"This is incredible, Arthur." Alfred smiled brightly to me. "No one's ever done something like this for me."

I took a seat on the grass. "Yes, well, seeing as how I have never celebrated this holiday, I figured it would be good to have a nice spot for my first time."

I patted the grass next to me. Alfred continued to smile at me, only now it had changed to something much more loving. I had to look away as my face flushed. Those looks always made my whole being warm up. Only his smiles and eyes.

Alfred plopped down next to me. He lay down, an arm reaching up for me. I lied with my head on his chest, one hand spread across his abdomen. Alfred let out a content sigh as he put his fingers in my hair.

"Best day ever," he said full of mirth.

I chuckled, then fell silent. For a moment, it was just us and the sky. So open. So far, and yet if I held my hand out, it's possible I might have skimmed my fingers across it. I smiled slightly.

"I have yet to give you my present though," I whispered to the sky.

"Oh yeah. I've been waiting all day for it. What is it?"

I sat up, twisting to face Alfred, one arm holding me up as I caressed Alfred's face with the other. He stared at me expectantly. My heart was pounding in my chest, but I forced myself to go forward. All for Alfred. Only for him.

"Me, if you'll have me."

I felt quite cheesy and very open at that moment. But Alfred responded in the way I knew he would. He reached for me, his hand gently grasping at the back of my neck, and pulling me down to meet his lips. My hand that had been on his face moved down to grip at his shirt, just above his beating heart. Then, Alfred's other arm ran down my back, along my sides, and up the underside of my shirt.

My body arched towards him as I inhaled sharply through my nose. I shifted so that my body lay atop Alfred. His hand slipped back out from under my shirt to wrap around me, holding me flush against him. We stayed like that for some time, embracing each other on the grass and snogging to our hearts content. But I didn't come here just to kiss the boy to death.

I broke the kiss, sliding back on my knees some, but keeping my body low. With my butt sticking up a bit and my face lower on Alfred's body, I started to work on removing his shirt; something of which he quickly helped me with. He shivered in the night air, but I laid my lips on his skin to warm him. My fingers followed where ever I kissed, tracing along his sweet skin.

"Arthur…," he whispered. I could feel him squirming slightly under me. "I…I did what you said… I got…checked…"

I lifted my head quickly. "And?"

He smiled at me, a hand reaching out for my face. "And I'm clean."

"Oh. Good." I wanted to sound more relieved, but a pressing matter was beginning to form in my pants. That and I didn't want to lose my courage at what I was about to do, the sudden idea hitting me from the new information.

I ducked my head back down, sucking on a spot on Alfred's neck. He tilted his head to the side, giving me better room for my mouth. I could hear him gasping and trying to hold down any louder noises, but with a quick flick of my hands, his trousers had come undone. He sat up slightly, shimmying out of them until he was in nothing but his boxers.

"You're…still clothed," he grumbled. He started to sit up with that same impatience from this morning.

Suddenly, I was shirtless. I laughed at his enthusiasm, but pushed him lightly to lay him back down.

"Tonight's your night," I whispered, my eyes soft and my words faint. "Let me do all the work, love."

"Oh, okay." He leaned his head down onto the grass and closed his eyes.

Feeling confident now that he was looking away from me, I caressed and kissed down his body. My hands grasped his hardening member. Alfred stiffened, his mouth opening to say something, but I wouldn't hear it. If he spoke, I'd lose my resolve. So I took him into my mouth.

"Oh _God_! Arthur!"

Such an odd taste. Not quite terrible, but not all that pleasant either. Still, the boy had become stiff quickly with my mouth swallowing a portion of his length. Amazingly, Alfred was a lot bigger than I remembered. It was probably because our first time was so painful, but I never got an accurate look at his penis. Seeing it up close and personal I could see just how well endowed the boy was. I had to give his father credit. Horrible asshole, but he passed on a nice set of family jewels.

"I thought… this was… too indecent…," Alfred whispered. He tugged at the grass as his legs moved up. I was grateful those fingers weren't digging into my scalp.

Smiling, I kissed the top of his head. "Not for tonight. Not for you…"

"Nngh! Arthur!"

Now those hands were on me. Alfred forced my head back down onto his cock and I think I almost choked. For a moment I was unable to really get a good momentum going, but then I pulled back just enough, cradled his sack, and had the boy go temporarily lax beneath me. I released his penis from my mouth for a moment so I could sit up.

Hovering over Alfred I was glad to see the boy in pure and unguarded desire for me. If I could, I would have just loved to have kept that there. Just that expression and this moment between us. Alfred had other ideas. He shot up his arms to grab me, but I pulled away.

"Just a moment, love," I hummed. "We have no lubrication. We have to make do."

Alfred looked around quickly. "With what?"

I shoved three fingers into his mouth and growled, "Suck on these."

He did without asking as I returned my mouth back down to his throbbing member. My free hand roamed freely over Alfred's naked body until the boy tried to buck his hips up into me. It slammed down on one hip, telling the other to remain down as well. I could very well have gagged if that entire length were in my mouth.

Soon, Alfred pulled my fingers from my mouth and begged for me. I couldn't help it. He was too delicious.

Using those now moist fingers, I slowly penetrated with the first digit. Alfred hissed in pain, but I was there to soothe him. I lay over him, watching as his face scrunched up in pain.

"This is how you properly prepare someone, Alfred," I said smoothly. He watched me. "Remember this. Remember how to do this."

He nodded as I inserted the second finger. His body arched up, tightening around my fingers. I bit my lip, telling myself that soon it would be me inside him, feeling all that wonderfully warm firmness enclosing around me. Alfred looked to me for comfort and I gave it with my lips and free hand. Surprisingly, Alfred let me take control of his mouth, pushing and pulling along with my fingers.

Once the third finger was inside, Alfred moved his head away in an attempt to breathe. I busied myself with his neck, leaving little love bites every now and then.

"_Arthur_!" Alfred cried.

I removed my fingers and made haste of my trousers and pants. I looked to Alfred, waiting for his permission. He wasn't scared. He was ready. Sitting up, I smiled as I pushed in and _oh_ that warmth. The warmth that was Alfred, always shining for me and holding me close, it was all around me. I sighed, my eyes closing, as I let my senses take me over.

This was much better than the other way around.

_Boom!_

I turned my head around to see the fading lights from the first of the fireworks. So the celebration had begun. Alfred grabbed at me, causing me to look back at him. I smiled and nodded. With Alfred, he had been too fast and too much. I would be too slow and too much.

I grabbed his legs and held them up near my shoulders. He was watching, remembering. Slowly, I pushed in and out, my knees on the grass to keep me steady. Alfred threw his head back, crying out into the night. Yes it was painful, but he could take it. He had never had such pleasurable pain in his entire life. Yes, I was creating it for him.

Sweat matted down our hair as I continued slowly thrusting in and pulling out. Alfred whispered my name and I called back, giving sweet kisses along the back of his kneecap. The light from the fireworks behind allowed me the chance to give my eyes full range of his taut body under me, relaxing every so often, but then arching up for me.

For me.

"Alfred," I sighed. I leaned over him, changing our positions, and gasped as he tightened around me. "I'm here, love…"

"Don't leave," he moaned.

I shook my head, kissing his lips lightly. "I won't."

My pace quickened. I sat back up as Alfred's hands reached for me. I took them both with one hand, holding them above his head. Oh, I really think I could like this view of my boyfriend. But with a frantic shake of his head I released him. I stole one of his hands and entwined our fingers. He smiled, but then I hit something soft inside him.

He cried out into the night, the echo covered up by the fireworks. I smiled, sliding back up against the spot and brushing it with my head. He cried again, his leg twitching in my hand. The other fell into the grass beside me. Alfred looked to me with a sinfully lustful look behind those hooded blue eyes. Somehow I had forgotten his glasses.

Tossing them aside, my own desire fueled my actions, forcing me to bend over Alfred. I released his legs, slamming myself fully inside, and locked lips with him. His arms grabbed me, scratching my skin until it felt raw, and we came together. All of me left, filling him up.

He called my name and I his. I found that was all I could say. Nothing else had my attention. Only Alfred with his entire self around me. Making me feel safe and secure again.

The fireworks were still going strong behind me. I had fallen atop Alfred, hugging him around his neck as I buried my face into his skin, slick with sweat. We panted together and our hearts beating frantically as one. After a moment, Alfred pulled me so I lay beside him on the cool grass.

"Let's watch the rest of the fireworks together," he said, kissing my forehead.

It really was grand to watch the dark of the night forced back by the light of the American fireworks, rejoicing over their win all those years ago. A thought occurred to me.

"Somewhere, soldiers are rolling in their graves," I said.

"Why's that?"

"Because a Britt just fucked an American up the ass."

Our laughs rang out with the last of the fireworks and I thought, perhaps I could continue to celebrate this holiday despite my heritage. Yes, as long as it remained Alfred's birthday, I could.

* * *

* * *

_Hoshiko2_'s cents: WOW SO LONG! But… I hope you guys finally liked this portion of sex! Arthur's not gonna let Alfred top any time soon. 3

I had something else planned for this chapter, but with writer's block came the loss of the idea. Then, when it returned, this was written up instead.

Anyways, I wanted to get this up for my pal thisiskanta as she starts school again tomorrow. Cheer up sweetie! You'll be great this semester! :3b


	14. Chapter 13

_A/N_: I have changed to third person narrative in this chapter for a special reason. Read on to see why. : 3

* * *

"Uniforms!"

The band looked over in confusion. It was the day before their last performance with Matthew in the group. They had met at Francis' house for practice, but had been waiting for their two final members to arrive. Elizaveta had walked in, Roderich at her side, and a large box in her arms.

"That's what was missing from this group! We needed uniforms!" She smiled as she placed the box on the floor before the group.

"Wait, hold up a minute." Gilbert strode to the front with his arms crossed. "No one agreed to this stupid idea."

"Hey!" Elizaveta yelled.

"Stop, stop right now you two." Alfred moved between the bickering couple. "Now, Lizzie, what're you talking about?"

"I took it upon myself to get us all uniforms. I mean, if we're to be taken seriously, we have to look like professionals! We can't just go in looking like this with our regular attire. It just looks so…"

"So totally uncool!" Felix piped up from his drum set.

"Exactly!" Elizaveta moved to open the box. "Now just wait, you'll see."

Arthur stood up from his seat at the piano, his hands out. "Wait. None of these will fit us. You don't know our sizes."

"It wasn't hard," Roderich said. "She wants to be a designer so she has to know how to size someone up with her eyes. She knew all of your sizes instantly and had them tailored to fit everyone."

Gilbert smirked deviously at the young girl standing before him. "You mean to say your eyes were all over me?"

Elizaveta shot a disgusted look Gilbert's way. "Shut up. You look smarter that way."

"I totally wanna see these uniforms, Liz!" Felix came from around his drum set to approach the box anxiously. "Are they pretty or pink or something?"

"I am _not_ wearing anything so girly!" Gilbert scoffed.

Arthur hated to agree with him, despite the fact he enjoyed pink unicorns the most. Of course, only Alfred knew that and Alfred wouldn't dare speak a word of it. Not if he wanted to see Arthur again. Especially naked. So he remained quiet and peered over the edge of the box with the other boys to see what uniforms Elizaveta got for everyone.

"It's…white," Francis said.

"It's white!" Gilbert exclaimed with obvious relief.

Elizaveta pulled the top shirt out from the box, holding it up to model it on herself. It was white, but also had thin black strips going down the back side of the tux looking top. Black pants matched the black buttons, bow tie and arm cuffs. At the bottom of the box was a white Bowler hat with black trim.

"Will you be wearing this as well, Elizaveta?" Alfred asked, pulling out another uniform to look at it.

"I sure will!" She winked as she put the Bowler hat on. "Some of us will have ties, though. I believe… I, Alfred, Gilbert, and Francis will look best in ties."

Arthur visibly heated up at the prospect of Alfred wearing a tie. His boyfriend caught on and winked at him, waggling his eyebrows. But behind him, Gilbert was making the same expression towards Arthur. The boy turned away with an even more flushed face at seeing both the men make such eyes at him.

"So! Why don't we put them on and practice in them?" Elizaveta began handing out the correct outfits to their new owner. "And here's yours, Matthew."

Matthew, who had been standing behind the rest of the band, looked up in surprise. He figured that he would fade into the background like always. That was why he always clutched his cello so close to his body, hoping it would hide him from view whenever a tussle would brew between any of the band mates, especially Gilbert and Elizaveta.

For the girl to notice her was a sweet surprise. He shuffled forward, taking the soft uniform in his hands.

"Th-thank you," he mumbled. "I didn't know I would get one as well."

"What're you talking about?" Francis sauntered over to Matthew, putting his arm around his shoulders. "You are part of this group too, _non_? You are merely taking a leave of absence, but will soon be back in our loving arms."

Alfred grabbed Francis, tearing him away from his brother. "Yeah, don't think of this as the last performance forever, dude! I'm not letting you escape this band that easily."

His confident smile made Matthew smile in return. The boys could always cheer one another up; just one of the many ways they were close brothers. Arthur smiled from behind Alfred, admiring his boyfriend's certainty.

From nearby, a pair of eyes were watching and calculating.

* * *

The day had come upon the band quickly. Luckily, they were well prepared. Only, Matthew was watching from the back, a ball full of nerves. Sure, the songs were ones he knew by heart and he wasn't worried of faltering. It was more, the moment afterwards.

The silence that would follow from his fingers when he was forced away from his friends. The first ones he'd ever had. Before that, it was always Alfred. Alfred holding his hand, protecting him, and showing him ways around anything that was violent or scary. Some would say Alfred sheltered Matthew, but Alfred preferred to see it that he had been his brother's hero.

If someone were to ask him what he thought, Matthew would only smile.

Elizaveta had pulled through, booking them a spot at The Jagged Rock, Alfred and Arthur's favorite Jazz restaurant and bar. Everyone was in their uniforms, amazed Elizaveta really had gotten their sizes down pat with just her eyes. The shirts were very form fitting. Alfred couldn't keep his eyes off of Arthur. Arthur resisted doing the same, trying to seem that he wasn't itching to pull the clothes apart and ravage Alfred backstage. However, when he saw Gilbert or Antonio watching him, he would bury his face in his sheet music.

Arthur skimmed through the pages, making sure all was in order, when he stopped. Something wasn't right. He began turning them faster and faster. His eyes widened in a horrific realization.

Roderich noticed his frantic search with curiosity. "Something wrong Arthur?"

"One of my sheet music!" Arthur exclaimed, panicked. "It's missing!"

"Shit!" Alfred swore. He then went into leader mode; experience from his days on the football team as the Quarterback. He dug in his pocket for the keys of his truck, tossing them to Matthew. "All right, Matt, you check my truck. Elizaveta and Roderich, you check around outside. Felix, you go with Francis to look around the stage since we set up there earlier. Gilbert and Antonio, you two check-"

"Excuse me?" The stage manager suddenly approached the band that had quickly split into their assigned groups. "I need to talk to the leader of the band."

Alfred nervously looked between himself and Arthur. While neither had claimed the title, everyone agreed that they were the joint leaders. Unfortunately, Arthur couldn't be of help with his pages missing. Alfred looked at the remaining band members, hating that he was going to leave his boyfriend in the hands of _those_ two.

Gilbert caught on to the plan, a scheming smile crossing his face. An arm wrapped around Arthur's shoulder, a wink at Antonio, and the Spaniard followed suit. The smaller Englishman tensed, his face heating up, and his hands clinging to his music book.

"Don't worry," Gilbert started.

"We'll take good care of him, _mi hermano_," Antonio finished.

The two turned with Arthur, heading backstage to search the only places left. Arthur craned his neck back to look at Alfred with pleading eyes. Alfred wanted to rush to his rescue, but the stage manager told Alfred he was to set up their equipment now. Of course, when the rest of the band was gone, leaving the boy to do it alone.

Alfred hurried through the task resulting in him almost dropping the drum set twice. His heart was racing as he thought of all the things Gilbert or Antonio could be doing to his Arthur. Their eyes always looked so dirty. So hungry for Arthur's pearly pale skin. Alfred flared as ugly jealousy warped his mind.

He raced backstage, his blood boiling and his mind surging at the prospect of what could be going on without him there.

"You swear you won't tell anyone?" Antonio asked. Alfred stopped just short of the open bathroom door where he could clearly hear the conversation from inside. "This is our secret, _mi hermano_."

"I won't. I promise," Arthur said. "It's only between us."

"_Gut_!" Alfred heard the sound of someone jumping down from something, possibly from the sink, and judging from the sound of the German voice, it was Gilbert. "So, now that we have our delicious secret, let's talk about _another_ secret!"

"What's that?" Arthur asked.

Alfred heard Arthur's startled cry and the scuffling of feet. He turned the corner quickly in time to see Gilbert pulling Arthur up to his chest by his belt loops. Arthur's hands were up in a feeble attempt to stop him, but his red face was a telltale sign. If he really didn't like it, he'd have defended himself by now.

"You and Alfred," Gilbert purred against Arthur's ear. "How are you two doing, huh?"

"What's going on?" Alfred shouted. He didn't wait to hear Arthur's response. At the moment, he didn't care to hear it, fearful of what it could be.

Arthur then struck Gilbert in the chest, hastily moving away. His blush had increased tenfold as he laid eyes on Alfred standing in the doorway. Antonio was leaning against the opposite wall, his arms crossed. He looked surprised to see Alfred.

"Alfred!" he exclaimed. "We found the sheet music."

"Yes," Arthur said, stalking out of the room. His face had become so red it had stretched all the way to his ears. "We should go out and perform."

Alfred moved to stop Arthur, talk to him for a moment in hopes to clear his head, but Arthur would shrug him off. The Englishman was not in the mood to help Alfred put his mind at ease. He had his nerves rattled and his emotions were on the short end of the stick. If Alfred even tried to press the matter he was sure he too would get a punch in the stomach.

So he moved to get his saxophone and perform with the band. But not without a few tricks up his sleeve as payback for getting too close to what was rightfully his. His Arthur.

* * *

"What the hell was that?" Arthur hissed as the band headed backstage.

"What? Nothing happened," Alfred replied innocently. "The set was perfect. We got an awesome applause even."

I waved my hand over at Gilbert. "You almost hit Gilbert off the stage with your hip and tripped Antonio up twice! That's not 'nothing', Alfred."

"Okay, calm down. I just…"

Alfred looked down, rubbing the back of his head. The rest of the band stayed far away from the argument, however, Felix and Elizaveta were exchanging glances to each other. A plan was formulating. Probably a very demented one that shouldn't leave a Disney movie.

"Well?"

When Alfred didn't reply, Arthur gathered up his things, enraged. He stormed out to the truck, roughly brushing Francis aside as the man tried to talk to him. Francis followed Arthur outside, giving Alfred a hesitant glance. Antonio and Gilbert weren't so kind. They gave nasty glares to Alfred, following Francis and Arthur out the backdoor.

Alfred sighed into his hands, covering his face and sitting down on the floor to start dissembling his saxophone. He thought he had been in the right. Gilbert had pulled Arthur over to him by his belt loops. He gave him that lustful look that only Alfred was allowed to give him in the bedroom. Not some albino German. And what had Arthur done? Not as much as he could have done. Antonio was just as bad. What was this secret? Why was it only between him and Arthur, and probably Gilbert, considering he had been in the room too? And when Gilbert had pulled Arthur close, Antonio did nothing to stop, not even raise a hand or shout a voice of objection.

For that, Alfred lost all trust for the two. He gripped his saxophone hard, thinking of how Arthur was hiding something from him. Could there have been more?

He had to calm down. Matthew told Alfred to trust Arthur. If he had to, trust _only_ Arthur. He certainly didn't trust Kiku anymore and Matthew was kin; that was unconditional trust. But Arthur.

_He's special_, Alfred reminded himself.

Arthur, meanwhile, was tossing his sheet music into the truck without giving a damn if it fell down between the pedals. His mind was clouded in anger. How dare Alfred act so childishly in front of an audience? On the last day of his brother's performance with them. And then offer no explanation to him.

"_Angleterre_," Francis said, coming up behind him. "Calm down. It's not the end of the world."

"Belt up, frog," Arthur growled. He was not in the mood to hear anything anyone had to say. Especially not advice from a frolicking Frenchman. And his two lackeys certainly didn't help in matters. Whatever they did to upset Alfred it had also angered Arthur and almost jeopardized the band's performance.

Arthur knew Alfred had caught when Gilbert had pulled him close, but that meant nothing. It always meant nothing. Because Gilbert meant nothing beyond a semi-friend/band mate. It was only Alfred who meant anything to him.

_Why can't you see that?_ Arthur thought, blinking back tears. _It's because you don't trust me…_

Francis moved to speak again when he heard a hiss behind him. The trio turned to see Elizaveta frantically waving them over. They snuck away, but even if Arthur had noticed he wouldn't have paid them any attention.

It was then that Elizaveta went forth with her best plan ever. One that included a happy ending.

* * *

"How does he know?"

Arthur raised an eyebrow at Francis. "Know what?"

"How much you really love him."

Arthur flushed, looking down at his arms. "Well, we tell each other we love each other, but..."

"_Non_. How does he know?"

"How does he know what?" Alfred asked, crossing his arms.

"How does he know you love him? How does he know he's yours?" Elizaveta asked in a singsong voice. Alfred's eyes grew in surprise.

Felix came up on Alfred's left side, a hand on his shoulder. "How does he know that you love him?"

"How do you show him you love him?" Elizaveta was on Alfred's right. The boy was blocked in.

"How does he know that you really, really, truly love him?" the two sang in harmony.

"What?" was all Alfred found he could say given his situation.

"It's not enough to take the one you love for granted." Elizaveta began dancing in front of Alfred, Felix keeping him in place with a firm hand around his shoulder. "You must remind him or he'll be inclined to say 'how do I know he loves me? How do I know he's mine?' "

"Well does he leave a little note to tell you, you are on his mind?" Francis asked, pulling a piece of paper from his breast pocket and handing it over to Antonio.

Arthur felt as if he were in another children's animated musical as the trio began to serenade to him. This seemed to be a reoccurring event in his life these days, and yet he was still mystified that people actually could break out into song and dance like this.

Gilbert was on his horn while Antonio played acoustic on his guitar. Inside, Felix had begun playing drums on random objects while Elizaveta sang her heart out. The boys briefly wondered if they had fallen into the Disney Twilight Zone.

"Send you yellow flowers when the sky is grey?" Elizaveta reached out to Alfred, waiting for him to take her hand and follow.

Felix bumped him over with a knock of his hip. "Heeeey!"

"He'll find a new way to show you," Francis sang, his hands up towards the evening heavens. "A little bit everyday!"

"That's how you know!" Antonio winked and joined Francis on one side.

And Gilbert danced up on the other side. "That's how you know he's your love!"

Arthur scoffed. "Please. Alfred would never do those things."

"He's too... shy..." Alfred rubbed his arm looking down.

Try as they might, both of their hearts clenched knowing that such romantic ideas would never blossom into real actions from their beloved. Although, it would be nice every once in awhile. Just as long as they didn't sing or break out into dance when it happened.

Gilbert wailed on his horn. Arthur stumbled back against the truck as Antonio saddled up to him.

"You got show him you need him. Don't treat him like a mind reader! Each day do something to lead him to believe you love him."

Elizaveta had wrangled Roderich into the singing fray. She strode down the backstage with her arm wrapped around his like in a wedding. Felix had even smuggled a flower off of a table and given it to her as a makeshift bouquet. Alfred had to give them credit for their efforts, creepy as they were.

"Everybody wants to live happily ever after." She tossed the flowers at Alfred. "Everybody wants to know their true love is true! How do you know he loves you?"

"How do you know he's yours?" Gilbert asked. He sounded a lot more serious than the other two dancing fools behind him. Arthur gulped, recalling what the boy had asked earlier.

Suddenly Francis' hands were around Arthur's hips. He yelped in surprise at being yanked over to the Frenchman.

"Well does he take you out dancing just so he can hold you close?"

Arthur got quite a nice uppercut on the boy to save himself.

"Dedicate a song meant just for you?" Felix sang.

Arthur and Alfred's hearts jumped. Yes. Yes he had.

"Ooo!" Elizaveta swooned. "He'll find his own way to tell you!"

"With the little things he'll do!" Antonio and Gilbert sang.

"That's how you know. That's how you know he's your love!" the band belted out, their hands up.

Oh yes. Disney Twilight Zone. Now if the audience were to join in, the boys might just run home screaming, no matter how girly it looked. Anyone else in their position would do the same.

"Because he'll wear your favorite color just so he can match your eyes," Francis chimed in, recovered from Arthur's attack. He caressed under the boy's eyes. And earned another punch to the face.

"Plan a private picnic by the fire's glow, ohh!" Elizaveta dragged Alfred towards the back door.

Alfred instantly put his feet down, refusing to budge another inch. Arthur was out there. He couldn't be subjected to this mess. But hard hands shoved Alfred forward. Those weren't from Felix or Roderich. Alfred looked back to see Matthew smiling sheepishly. Alfred mouthed, "Traitor" as he was pulled closer to that door.

"His heart will be yours forever. Something every day will show!" Antonio and Gilbert parted to show the back door opening.

Arthur paled as Alfred joined him, Elizaveta tugging on his hands and Matthew pushing him. Behind him was Roderich holding a Tom drum with Felix playing, singing along with the others.

_Better start running old boy_, Arthur thought.

Alfred felt the same as his boyfriend. He could tell Arthur had undergone the same treatment judging from the mortified stare Arthur gave him. However, Francis had a black eye and a red bruise under his chin. He must have gone too far and Arthur finally retaliated. For this, Alfred smiled slightly before remembering he was in a Disney nightmare.

The band was rallying up for their finale, dancing closer together until they were all lined up and facing their subjects. "That's how you know! That's how you know! He's your love!"

The boys were thrust together, the band mates on both sides shoving them out to the center. The band then ended the spontaneous routine with their hands in the air; even Roderich, though he didn't seem to be enjoying himself nearly as much as the others. Alfred and Arthur could only stare at each other, embarrassed at what they had both gone through.

Alfred realized he was still holding the flowers in his hands. Quickly, and without looking at his boyfriend, he held them out to Arthur. Alfred wasn't nearly as bashful as Arthur could be, but given the condition his nerves were in, he was unable to even ask Arthur out on a date to make up for his actions.

As awful as the band was for their impromptu performance, they were right. The boys had taken their love for granted. Untrusting and quick to accuse, they had almost forgot that sometimes love can be as simple as a flower or a smile or as easy as a nice night out on the town together. And with Arthur moving in less than two weeks, they were feeling the heat. No time like the present to keep hold of the one you love, if only for a moment.

Arthur took the flowers and hugged Alfred. The boy hugged back as the band applauded. They shared a chaste kiss before shooing away the others.

"I'll ride with Francis," Matthew said knowing full well it didn't matter to his brother.

The way Alfred looked at Arthur as they climbed into the truck said it all. That's how they knew. How they all knew. Now if only those two would stop forgetting.

* * *

* * *

_Hoshiko2_'s cents: Yummy yummy uniforms can be seen here: http:/ / www. youtube. com/ watch? v=qsHVLaNsCSg where I got the inspiration to do the first half of this chapter. I know. Just…yum.

Okay, I'm sorry. I went off the DEEP END with this chapter. It drove me so nuts, I put on Disney music at work, and this was the result. LOLOLOL! I kind of wish someone would draw this just to see the full extent of the _crack_. Song is "That's How You Know" by Amy Adams from Disney's Enchanted and I take no claim to it. I just make Hetalia characters sing it instead. : 3

Last thing, I'm announcing a Hoshiko History Contest! THE RULES! Find as many historical parallels there are in this series by the time it ends (roughly 6 more chapters). Then, you send it to me as a PM. DON'T PUT THE ANSWERS UP! Someone else might get the answers and win. WHAT DO YOU WIN? Why you win a story from me. I'll announce the winner in the epilogue and have them give me their prompt. Hell, you could end up with something like this. Kanta gave me a very simple prompt and look what happened. :3

There have already been two mentioned and explained, so… GOOD LUCK!


	15. Chapter 14

"_Please_!" Alfred cried. "Don't leave me!"

"I won't," I repeated, breathlessly.

Alfred's legs were in my arms as he lay on his back. We were nearing our climax, but Alfred had been begging me not to leave him the entire time, making it damn difficult to keep things sexual. He almost looked ready to cry at one point, but I ignored it, thinking that the sex was affecting him instead. I was making love, but it seemed Alfred was keener on desperately clinging to me and asking for things I have already promised.

Frustrated, I grabbed Alfred's wrists and held them above his head. Ah yes, now that's better. Alfred was stretched and his body was taut underneath me. _Lovely_.

Alfred shook his head violently, just as he always did when I held his arms. But this time, I didn't let go. He grew frantic as he looked at me in panic.

"Don't! Don't hold my hands! Don't hold my hands! Stop! Please!" Alfred really was crying by this point.

At first I thought he was emotional because of me moving away. Yes I knew he was upset at the prospect of having no brother, best friend, or boyfriend accompanying him at school. However, he had other friends to count on. And it wasn't as if we were breaking up. Weekends and evenings were ours. But the panic in his eyes and the tears on his cheeks were from something else.

Something dark. Something I had yet to uncover.

I let go quickly, gripping the side of the bed as he tightened around me. Oh yes. I panted for him to tighten more, pumping his leaking cock, and constantly hitting his prostate. Here it comes.

Alfred screamed, arching his back, and I fell forward with a strangled gasp of his name. Alfred pulled me into his arms, pressing me against his sweaty chest where I could clearly feel the hard beat of his heart. For a time, we just lay together trying to collect our breath. My mind, however, was whirling.

Why was Alfred _this_ desperate? He was acting far more childish than normal. I glanced at the boxes around my room, ready to be moved tomorrow morning to college. He should be excited for me as I was to be moving forward with my future, giving me words of encouragement that I would do well my first semester and that he'd be right here for me whenever I needed him. Not cry as we made passionate love our last time in my bedroom.

"Arthur," Alfred whispered after a moment. His hands had wrapped completely around me, rubbing my slick back. "Arthur, please don't go…"

I ran a hand through my hair, wet from sweat, giving Alfred a frustrated stare. "Alfred, you are being completely ridiculous. You're acting like I'm breaking up with you when that is not the case. I am simply moving off to college and it is only an hour away. We've already agreed to the times we'd meet and the hours to be on the phone."

Alfred buried his face into my neck. "Even if I begged you to stay, you wouldn't... Everyone I love is moving away from me…"

I paused at hearing how truly heartbroken he sounded. However, there was one person that he still loved that hadn't moved away. He had only moved away from Alfred's thoughts.

"You should talk to him," I said simply.

Alfred blinked and then looked away. He held his breath before exhaling. "Yeah, but…"

"But nothing." I grasped his face firmly between my hands, forcing him to look at me. I couldn't stand by and watch them play their ridiculous game anymore, especially since I had wound up in it, although that was probably my fault.

"Alfred, you miss him. You need to drop your pride. Sometimes it's better than just having the ability to say you were right. And what were you right about? That you weren't going to kill a man? I'm certain Kiku knew that and didn't actually think you were going to kill that prat. He was at graduation, your birthday party, and the last performance. He misses you too."

"I know…," Alfred grumbled, sighing. He rubbed his face and looked up at the ceiling, torn. It never is easy for a young adult to give up on their pride. And with one with such a rather large one as Alfred, it must be near impossible. "I just… I don't know how to approach him about it…"

"That is for you to work on, luv." I caressed Alfred's face and smiled. It seemed he was coming around.

Alfred continued to look up at the ceiling, but his eyes changed. They looked sadder and duller. The blue turning grey. His voice had changed too. Not that lustful deep voice that I heard when we were about to make love, but of something faded.

"I've never been as good with people as I seem to be," Alfred whispered. "Before it was always just Matthew and me. Me and him. We kept everyone out. We were scared. Still are. I'm still scared to get too close to people."

"Even those in the band?" I asked curiously.

"Especially those in the band. They could hurt us." Alfred tightened his grip on me and bit his lip. "Even Kiku, when we met, I forced him to be my friend, but I still held him away from me. He scared me. He was the first friend I ever had."

For a moment I felt an overwhelming sense of sadness. He was scared. Scared of me. When I had done nothing wrong. No one had. It was all his father's fault. The man was supposed to protect his sons and show them the world as they grew up, not steal everything secure from them. Now Alfred was scarred and didn't trust anyone.

Not even me.

Alfred broke my train of thought, suddenly, as he looked to me with those eyes. "But then…There was you. You were different. And you… You gave me something."

"_Here! You can have this! I don't want it."_

"_What is it?"_

"_Are you daft? Don't you know your own history? Heh, maybe you'll know who once ruled you, stupid American."_

I blushed just thinking of that day. I was so incredibly rude, like all children tend to be. But there had been a reason. I had just moved. America was so different, so loud, so… landlocked. When we moved we made sure to be away from any large bodies of water. Even lakes. I was terrified of the water. The sound of the rushing water, coming to take your life away in one fell swoop. The screaming from-

"You scared me the most of all," Alfred continued, unaware of my sudden cold sweat. "Because… I wanted to be just like you."

I was caught off guard and laughed nervously. "You what?"

"Yeah, I did." He looked over at the boxes. "I wanted to be calm and collected. Some…shit happened along the way and it didn't turn out so well. By then you were so much better than me. So much cooler. You were out of my league."

"Trust me, Alfred. If anyone was out of anyone's league, it was me out of yours." I poked Alfred on the nose causing him to smile at me. "You're the star football player and I'm the hated Student Body President. What more of a difference could there be?"

Alfred kept smiling at me, making me smile, the git. He kissed me quickly once, twice, thrice, before I gave in and kissed him deeply. Lucky to have him there at all.

"We are different," he whispered. "But that's what makes it interesting."

"Never a dull moment in this relationship," I chuckled. Unfortunately, my mind thought back to the horrific musical number the band had performed a few weeks ago. Alfred and I had agreed to never bring it up again.

"And there's good jazz." Alfred yawned, his eyes dropping.

I smiled, kissing his forehead, and settled in beside him to follow him into sleep. "Yes… There is that."

* * *

The boxes had been stuffed into the back of Alfred's truck. Anything that didn't fit would go in the back of my parents Cooper. Oh yes, my parents got a Mini Cooper. Complete with the Union Jack on the top of the car and on the back of the review mirrors. I didn't miss England nearly as much as my parents did and they enjoyed showing off their British pride.

My parents were so grateful to Alfred for letting us use his truck that they bought his gas for the journey. Even though my parents knew Alfred would be staying the weekend, they still handed my boyfriend a blank check. And then promptly pulled him aside to talk to him about me.

I rolled my eyes as I got into the truck, watching them fuss over him. Alfred's face was extremely red and he continued to nod vigorously. I beeped the horn once, causing them all to look me. I merely pointed at my watch before Alfred was released from their clutches.

"They knew," Alfred mumbled, starting the car. "That we've been having sex in the house. They said they let it go because, well, you were moving and there was no need to make a big deal out of it, but from now on we can't have sex in your house anymore. Man, I can't believe they knew all this time! Can you?"

"Yes," I said simply, unfazed. "They probably knew the moment you gave that bland lie about leaving your car here after our first time."

"I thought it was a good lie!" Alfred exclaimed. "How could they see past it?"

"I guess you're not as good a liar as you thought." I smirked at Alfred, but saw he took my statement a little more seriously. He didn't offer me a smile or even a look in the eyes.

Confident he had caught a sliver of my notice of his lies, I settled in for the hour long drive to college. An hour away from home was perfect. There was a bus I could take home if I didn't desire the boring drive through the flat lands or want to worry about the gas prices. It was far enough away I felt independent, but knew if I longed for home it wouldn't take me hours to get back.

For the duration of the ride, Alfred blasted music, most of which he sang along too and danced in his seat. I screamed when he let go of the wheel to do some hand flail to a Gaga song.

"Come on Artie! I want your bad romance!" he pleaded.

I smacked him on the back of my seat, ignoring his cry of pain. He had almost driven us off the road. I knew my parents behind us were not amused by the swerving of the truck ahead of them. Still, I was feeling rather cheeky.

"Sorry, don't call my telephone," I said without laughing. I'm not sure how I did it. Just hearing myself I burst into laughter, of which Alfred joined me.

He put an arm around me and kept it there the rest of the ride. I snuggled up close, happy that Alfred's truck was old enough to not have too restraining of seat belts. After a time, I even unbuckled, scooted to the middle seat, and rest my head on his shoulder.

_Now cheer up, you git_.

* * *

The college campus was lush and green with an impressive entrance modeled to look like a European university. The Freshmen were already wandering with wide eyes and hearts full of hope. Some of the clubs were out to welcome the new students and offer any help for those lost. I could see Gilbert and Antonio off near the corner of the main building, but they were busy welcoming Francis to the campus. Good, they'd leave me alone. My temperament couldn't handle their actions, especially when my parents were here. My father was far worse towards Frenchmen than I was.

The main building stood proud and tall with a two wings flanking in that displayed their respective departments on the signs outside. After walking through the building we came to the middle of the campus. The wings continued to stretch around, making a large square to keep everything neatly enclosed in. Of course, this was only the Humanities department where I was focused. The school was much larger, but it took a bus to reach the other side. I would have to take it when going to my music lessons.

In the center were the dorms where I was staying my first year. After that, I would move on to the suites in the near area were the college looked more modern. Third year was when I would be privileged to get my own kitchen and bathroom, if I was still living on campus at the time. My parents had set aside enough money for me to stay on campus all four years if I so desired. If not, I could put it to good use and get an apartment of my own. They preferred I stay with a roommate, but considering I had reserved a single dorm for myself, they knew that was out of the question.

A single, meant for me and Alfred. No outsiders.

Alfred was touched I had told him that I had gotten a single so we could share it alone when he visited. Of course, that was only one on the reasons. A surface reason. The other being of my horrible shyness. Alfred never saw my shy state while in middle school as we were in different classes, only getting bits and pieces now whenever someone new entered the band or I was forced to awkwardly meet one of his friends. While not nearly as bad as Felix, I still had my moments of sheer seclusion.

It wasn't because I disliked people. I'm sure there are many fine chaps out in the world. It's more I didn't trust a single one of the lot.

Alfred was the only exception. And over time, so became the band. Well, except for a troublesome Frenchman and his conniving German.

"Room 144!" Alfred exclaimed proudly as I entered my new room. He looked around eagerly. "This is great!"

I had stopped in the middle, a box in my hand, and smiled at seeing the bare walls and the limitless opportunity. Yes, for my career. For my future.

Smiling as Alfred joined me at my side, I felt a silly little wish sink into my heart. Here this wonderful boy was, able to break through my wall. The one I had built overnight upon leaving England. The one that looked past all those boorish faces at school, skipping through whatever wasn't important to my future, or finding faults in the way someone behaved. Not finding anything that made me happy. And yet, he remained. By my side. I only hoped he would forever remain.

I put the box on the ground and took Alfred's hand. He smiled, leaning to kiss me.

"This room looks wonderful!" my mother exclaimed.

Alfred and I pulled away quickly, our faces red. Only, Alfred was too hasty. He tripped over the box I had put down, stumbling as the contents poured out onto the floor. I rolled my eyes and bent to pick them back.

"Git," I said with no ill intention.

"I'm just so graceful," Alfred joked.

I turned away for a moment, laughing to myself. My mood was at the highest it had been in weeks. The move had left an impending weight on my stomach crippled with the knowledge that I was just no longer going to expect Alfred to ever tell me about his time at home. Why should I? It's not my place, right?

_He's not the only one that doesn't trust the world._

"_Before it was always just Matthew and me. Me and him. We kept everyone out. We were scared. Still are. I'm still scared to get too close to people."_

"Hey, who is this? The kid's cute."

My heart stuttered. I turned, fearing the worst. My eyes landed on an old photograph Alfred held in his hands. It had fallen out from between my book, the ninth page, second volume in the series. I knew it far too well. I had looked at it every night since moving to America, save for the times Alfred was spending the night.

Alfred smiled at me, holding it up. "He even looks like you."

I snatched the photo quickly. My parents were coming back with more of my things and they couldn't see it. Couldn't know. Alfred's eyes widened, watching me. He was watching me again. My parents would look too. They'd know something was wrong.

Sweat was present on my brow and my eyes were bulging. I think I was hyperventilating. Alfred put a hand on my shoulder, but I snapped. I resorted to the same thing I always did when that face was seen.

"It's none of your business!" I stuffed the photo back in its rightful place, hiding it underneath other objects in an unmarked box. "Don't go breakin' my things!"

Alfred looked hurt. Rightfully so. I had stepped out of line.

I sighed, calming myself, as I turned away from him. My mind repeated over and over again I wasn't near the ocean. That boy wasn't here. I was safe. Alfred was near me. He wasn't the one screaming.

"_Arthur!"_

"Arthur?"

I flinched, turning on my heel quickly. Alfred was there, a hand on my shoulder again. His eyebrows had creased in worry as he stared at me. But I couldn't look at him. I looked at his hand, grabbing it, and holding it. It was warm. Not cold or wet.

"I'm sorry, that was wrong of me. I believe I'm just a bit peckish…"

"Peck…ish?" Alfred raised an eyebrow.

"It means to be hungry," my father said from the doorway. "I do believe it is almost noon. Shall we tour the grounds and find a common area?"

"Oh yeah." Alfred looked back to me, squeezing my clammy hand. "Come on, Arthur."

I nodded, following with a numb head. Food would be a distraction to keep quiet. I would merely listen to Alfred and his lovely American voice. Reminding myself I was away from home. Yes, I was. I was in America at the college that would lead me into my future.

Alfred gave me a kiss on the cheek, remembering my key as he pocketed it, and gave me a brave smile. He was a brilliant liar (when it didn't come to sneaking about) compared to me. He knew something was wrong. But he was smart and didn't press. If he had, I feared the consequence.

* * *

Alfred turned from his spot by the window upon the door closing. His smile was bright and clear. I returned it, trying to match his exuberance. He looked to his left and grabbed a bag I hadn't noticed was there a moment earlier.

"I got you something," Alfred said, handing me the bag.

I took it with a nervous laugh. No one just got me a gift. Not sure how to reply, I sat down on the bed, looking at the present and not at my boyfriend.

"You didn't have to do that."

Alfred sat beside me, his hands fiddling in his lap. "I wanted to. It's a home warming gift and a good luck charm that your first semester of college will be awesome."

Glancing at Alfred with a skeptical grin, I pulled the tissue paper from the bag. I heard a crinkle of a plastic wrap and, feeling excited, quickly pulled the gift out. I saw a flash of red, white, and blue. But not in the American style.

My breath caught. "Alfred...!"

Alfred rubbed the back of his head nervously, the usual hesitant smile accompanying it. "I know how much you miss home, so..."

"You got me the flag of the UK?" I asked in sheer bewilderment.

"Yeah," Alfred replied with a slight chuckle. "You can put it anywhere in the room."

Before I even thought of where to put it, I hugged my impossibly unbearable boyfriend. He laughed in relief, his arms wrapping around me.

"Thank you," I whispered. I gave a quick kiss to his temple before unwrapping the flag.

Once free of the plastic, I gave it a good shake. The familiar red cross outlined by the white and surrounded by the blue made my heart alight in pride. It was far more touching than Alfred knew. The boy and I considered ourselves patrons of our lands, easily slipping into political, cultural, and historical debates about the two. Neither one wanting to back down. It lead to some interesting conversations, heated tempers, and amusing reactions. Especially when I would point out things about Alfred's own history that he didn't know. Of course I was always surprised he knew more than just one of the monarchs from the past that didn't include King Henry VII or Queen Elizabeth I.

I guess this meant I'd have to buy Alfred an American flag now.

"Come on then. You're to help me."

Alfred laughed and shook his finger. "Nuh uh. I bought it. Hanging it might be treason."

I chuckled and searched for a prime spot. I wasn't one to decorate my walls, finding it a bit too gaudy. Still, I knew my desk would be over run with photos of Alfred and me. Maybe a few of my family. The rest would belong to the band and any other musical artist I enjoyed. My eyes hovered on the ceiling a moment before I pulled a chair over beside my bed.

"I have the perfect spot in mind."

"Oh yeah? Where?" I nodded up as I stood to hang my new Union Jack. Alfred looked up. "Whoa, serious? Dude, I'm pretty patriotic, but even my Old Glory ain't hanging over my bed."

I kicked Alfred in the side, not hard, but enough. "Grammar, Alfred. Please."

Once finished, I jumped down and resumed sitting beside Alfred. I sighed proudly, feeling rather accomplished.

"So why up there?" Alfred asked.

"Well, I do miss me 'ol country."

Alfred waited a moment as I let my words sink in. He looked at me anxiously. "Will you ever go back?"

I took a deep breath. My eyes instantly flashed to the photo Alfred had stumbled upon earlier. But I looked away just as quickly. "Maybe one day. Visiting is good enough now."

Alfred seemed soothed by my words and smiled. He looked up at the flag, saying no more. Yes, I had no reason to go back to England. Everything important to me was sitting in this room.

Smiling, I moved to close the distance between me and Alfred. "There is another reason it's above my bed."

Alfred looked at me. Oblivious to my intentions, he remained where he was. "Oh? Why's that?"

I leaned closer. My hand trailed up Alfred's chest, a lustfully feral look coming into my eyes. The boy caught on suddenly. He moved back a bit, but I simply moved to lay him on his back.

"So that you see it when you are on your back and think of England," I whispered.

Alfred gasped as my teeth grazed his neck. He audibly gulped and I felt his body stiffen. "Don't you mean... When you're on your back?"

I licked up his neck. No need to think because my decision had been made back on his birthday. "No, I prefer it to be this way."

I undid the buttons on his shirt, helping myself to the buffet of his perfectly tan skin. All for me and free of charge. Such a wonderful dessert. It's hard to say what's better; the taste of Alfred or feeling his body react to my touch or my tongue or my teeth. It was a win win for me anyways, so I just went with all the options.

"Wait until Francis sees this," I mumbled as I settled my body fully on top of Alfred's. "He'll want his own bloody flag as well."

Alfred gasped when I bit just below his nipple. My hands traced his navel. "Who... Who else will be here at school with you?" Alfred breathed. He clenched at the back of my shirt.

"Gilbert and Antonio," I replied.

Alfred's hand on my neck forced me up. He looked me square in the eye for a moment before his teeth were on my neck. I moaned in pleasurable surprise. He sucked with a firm hand on the back of my head to keep me still. Slowly, he sat up to get a better angle as he left what was possibly the most wonderful hickey I have even gotten from the boy.

Without warning, he unglued his mouth from my skin with an unattractive smacking noise. "There. I've marked you as mine."

I looked at him in with both shock and affection evident in my eyes. Was he still jealous?

"And now when this goes away, I'll be back to give you another one."

I watched his eyes following his fingers, lightly tracing along the new mark. Something deep and intense overcame me. I slammed Alfred back onto the pillow, claiming a spot of my own on the same side of his neck. Perhaps, like Alfred, I too possess a monster inside me. One that lusted after the American that had touched my heart so easily.

He arched up into me and fisted the back of my shirt. His light moans and light bucks up into my hips only intensified my actions. I ground back, growling into his neck. I was practically groaning _Mine_ as I worked to leave an equally perfect hickey. One he would proudly show off his first day of school.

"And now I will bestow upon you a new one once you return," I said thickly. My tongue darted out to lick the raw red spot. So delicious.

Alfred's head fell back and I continued my conquest of his body. "Oh damn. Now all I see is England."

I sat up with sin behind my eyes. "Alfred?"

"Yeah?" he gulped. I tore his pants from his belt loop, riding him slightly.

"Do shut it." I licked my lips and moved for the kill.

* * *

I held Arthur close. His heartbeat against my ribs was a constant reminded that this wasn't a dream. Of course, if it was it was the most fantastic sex dream I've ever had. But Arthur was nothing short of a fairy tale. A pure and patient man with wisdom and sharp teeth all rolled into a neat little English package.

Now living an hour away from me.

After sex, we usually spouted nothing and everything. Arthur was really open and affectionate now. I loved it. Fuck, we should always have sex. It was the only way I knew how much Arthur missed England. As patriotic as he was, he rarely mentioned his life before moving to America and the life he once had. But it could be he just didn't remember. He was really young when it happened. Around the same time my father began to hate me.

A thought occurred to me as Arthur mused about our new hickeys.

"Arthur?" I said, surging past my fear. I had to do it. He had to know.

"Yes, luv?" Arthur sounded so damn sexy when he went really British. He only did it when horny or just after sex. Another reason we should fuck more often.

But I'd think about how sexy he was when he hovered over me with those dark green eyes later. I was on a mission. A mission several months overdue. Arthur had waited all this time.

I sat up, my eyes looking at the hands in my lap. "I have something to tell you... About me."

Arthur sat up, his hand sliding across my bare shoulder. "Yes?"

He sounded eager. Did he know something? No. Arthur was honest. Always so honest to me.

I turned with terrified eyes and my heart in my ears. I was about to say it. Say why I had bruises. Why I sometimes wasn't at school. Why I had to lie to him so often. It hurt to do it and I never got pleasure from it. That's when I knew Arthur was different. Because it actually hurt to smile and say everything was fine, when inside I cried to him that it wasn't. Inside, though, there was always this other me. The scared me and the fake me. The fake was what Arthur fell for, not the real me.

The real me with a fake ego. One that had been bruised, leaving behind no trace other than my ridiculous self-esteem and plastic smiles. But Arthur knew. Knew it some way. He didn't know why or how long or even who did it. After meeting my father, he probably had an inkling of an idea that it was him.

But if he knew, why did he never ask me? Did he not want to know? Not want to really love me?

In some cruel twist of fate, just as I was to open my heart to the only person I've ever loved, a cell phone had to interrupt us.

Arthur turned, sighing in frustration as he picked up the phone. "It's my parents they might be lost. Just a tick. 'Ello?"

I waited, wishing that he would put that phone down. Look at me. I'm going to show you who I am. You won't like it.

Oh, shit, there goes all my resolve.

Arthur craned his neck around. "Yes I see it. I'll have it down in a moment. 'Bye."

He hung up and turned with expectation, but it was too late. I had put my guard back up. But, he hadn't. He was waiting.

"Sorry, what were you going to say?"

I paused. My eyes hovered on the hickey I gave him. I could still hear him panting my name, holding me close as we danced on my birthday, see him fluster when I gave him our first kiss. It should've been enough.

But I'm weak.

"I'll tell you later," I sighed.

Arthur knew. Knew he had missed a chance at the truth. But, as always, he didn't press me. He smiled, kissed my cheek, and moved to get out of bed.

"Mum forgot her purse," he explained as he put on his pants and shirt. He retrieved the purse from his dresser, stopping at the door to look at me. "Stay here and don't get dressed."

The prospect of another round lifted my spirits. I gave a salute and he left. I fell back against the pillow with a frustrated sigh.

How pathetic. Here I was, lying on Arthur's bed in his new dorm room that smelled heavily of sex and yet I didn't trust him. Didn't tell him again. Still, I tried. Matthew would tell me that was a start. That was all that mattered. But did it?

I moved my hand along the hickey. If he knew just what I was, really was, would he still have given me this? Would he still play music with me, force me to eat his food, or make love to me?

"Would you stop loving me like dad did?" I asked the ever silent nothing.

And nothing replied.

* * *

Hoshiko2s cents: Arthur's room number is actually England's calling code number. 1+44. I wanted it to be 76 (for 1776), but decided that was too mean. Heh heh.

No one guess on Arthur's back story. It isn't what you think, I can tell you that right now. But this begins a steady downhill of the series, I will admit. So be prepared for a lot of sadness as true colors begin to show.

For the contest: There are two historical parallels I gave in this chapter.

Finally, I have to do a huge shout-out to MataHari-Chan for writing me a sweet one-shot. In all my years of being a fanfic writer I have never had someone do something so nice to me. Really, it means a lot to me. If any of you are curious to see this adorable story, head on over to her fanfic dot net account and look for Dependence. LOVE!


	16. Chapter 15

Phone calls and weekends became the norm for me after that. College life and I had come to a cordial agreement that my homework was not to interfere with my social life. Mainly, any of my time with Alfred. Occasionally, the trio down the hallway would invite me down for a movie and some late night dinner parties. At first, when I realized Gilbert and Antonio shared a dorm just a few doors down from me I worried the two would harass me as they did at practices. However, they were polite and kept to themselves.

Most of the time.

It was Francis I soon found was the problem. He was only ten doors away but I swear everyone on the first floor could hear the many ladies that followed him to his room. Let's not forget he soon became popular because of his many parties, all of which he invited me to and all of which I turned down. Never one to be deterred, the Frenchmen would just pound on my door and try to drag me down the hallway.

Luckily, I had managed to make a few sympathetic friends that would help me out. Mainly from my Writing 103 class, they were quiet and shy, understanding of my space. None of us hung out after class, aside from Lukas. A reclusive boy from Norway, we only met on a whim when he sat beside me in class and had a library book about fairytale legends. Curious, I leaned over and asked if it was any good.

He struck me as a very spacey chap, the boy with dull blue eyes and light blonde hair. Still, he was very knowledgeable and we were soon exchanging stories of what we knew in the magical community. Lukas even revealed to me that he could see fairies, a rare commodity.

When I was younger, I once claimed to have seen them too. I chased them around in our English garden well past nightfall until my mother had to come get me. Even at night, I would stay up late and talk to them. Tell them my dreams and my secrets. At the time, I thought they were real. I suppose Alfred would laugh me off and call me crazy, knowing full well he didn't believe in magic. However now, I still believed in them, although they were long gone from my vision.

I do hope one day soon I will find the ability to see them again as Lukas had.

"Do you have a special someone?" Lukas asked me one day on the fly.

Class was to begin soon and I had shown up earlier than normal. I was never one to bring my cell phone to class, much less have it in my hand when others were in the room. I considered it rude, especially to the professors. However today was special. Today was a surprise. Today, I wanted to spend a weekend with Alfred back home again.

I hastily moved to hide my cell phone as I felt my face heat up slightly. "Y-yes, I do."

Lukas smiled slightly. "How long?"

"A year in December." I found myself staring at nothing and just smiling.

My body was so warm just to know that he had been beside me for so long. Of course there were those lies, but he had tried to tell me. That look a few weeks back upon my first weekend at the school. He looked so ready.

But was I?

As I ran my mother's purse down to her, I thought just how much our relationship would change. Everything would be altered in a way I didn't know. Didn't know how to handle. Would it be bad? Would Alfred then begin to ask about my past? He had seen that photo. He knew I was hiding something.

If he knew would he stop loving me?

"What's her name?" Lukas asked me.

I was grateful for the respite in my thoughts. Sometimes I was very dangerous to myself.

"Ah, well, _his_ name is Alfred," I replied nervously. I wasn't used to telling people of my relationship or my sexuality.

But Lukas merely smiled and nodded. "He's a lucky boy. You are very nice."

If only everyone acted as Lukas did.

* * *

Two hours later, I was standing outside of my old high school. It hadn't been long enough to feel too distant from the memories of the place; however it did feel alien to me. That bell no longer rang for me. Those new freshmen coming out were now under Kiku's watchful eye. Alfred told me that Kiku had won in a landslide, spear heading another glorious year for the Student Body. Kiku never did let me down in his precise guiding of young minds to not treat their high school so lightly.

After Alfred had gone back to school, he had begun talking to Kiku again. Nothing serious, but it was a start. Kiku was still very upset by his best friend just dropping quite a bomb on him, but was grateful for the relief. Aside from his girlfriend, Kiku had little friends. Well, little _true_ friends. He was quite popular, especially for his weekly art contributions to the school newspapers and the murals he had painted on the wall alongside the cafeteria. But Alfred had been his friend for years.

Aside from that, Alfred rarely talked of his time at school. I took that as a good sign, especially since he hadn't mentioned if the football team had kicked him off or not. The season should have already begun, but I had yet to be invited to a single game. Alfred could have been tossed from the team, but he could have just as easily left. He was a senior now and college was his prime motivation for focusing on school.

He had been waiting for years to move out of his father's home and now, he was only a few months away. His own excitement was building in me before it showed on him, though whenever I brought up graduation, a light would flash in his eyes and he would beam like I've never seen.

And today, I hoped that my surprise would bring that smile upon his face for no other reason than he was happy to see me.

The students filed out. I recognized many and noticed a few new faces. Some mingled by the front gate while others headed to their parents car. I stood awkwardly in the parking lot, a box of homemade donuts in my hands. I knew they were one of Alfred's all time favorite desserts and while my cooking left much to the imagination, I still hoped the lad would see the meaning behind my present.

Even from afar I could spot Alfred. There was this great light that surrounded him in all of his cheerful enthusiasm. He was walking amongst a gaggle of girls, but that was common. Back when we still attended the same school he was popular with the ladies.

Normally I wouldn't care if I didn't see one girl clinging to Alfred's arm. And smile up at him. And have him return a smile back at her. But then she kissed his cheek and suddenly I wasn't okay with anything anymore. Alfred looked surprised at first and I hoped he was about to push the girl away, but instead he put a hand to where she kissed him. And laughed with a kind smile.

She left, waving and swaying her hips from side to side. Alfred watched her, rubbing the back of his head. He turned, heading to the parking lot, and spotted me.

"Arthur!" he exclaimed. His face broke out into smiles reserved for me, but it wasn't enough to quell my jealousy. "Hey! What're you doing here?"

"Surprising you," I grumbled. I shoved the donuts into Alfred's chest, stopping him from trying to hug me. "Here, I made you these."

Alfred wrinkled his nose as he took the box. He slowly lifted the cover, giving me an awkward smile. "Oh, how lovely. I'll eat them later, ok?"

"Who was that?" I snapped.

"Who was what?" Alfred sounded truly oblivious to whom I was talking about. He chose to just smile at me. _So cute_.

No! I can't be swayed. That girl kissed him and he did nothing to stop her. Did he let other girls kiss him?

"That girl that kissed your cheek."

"Oh! That was no one." But Alfred's face heated up.

"Didn't look like a 'no one'," I growled, crossing my arms.

There he goes, rubbing the back of his head. "No, I meant she's nobody to me."

"So you let nobodies kiss your cheek?" I asked.

Alfred shot out one of his hands, the other keeping hold of the box. "No! I meant! Look, Arthur that kiss was nothing! I've never seen her act that way before, so really, I had no idea she would do that!"

I turned, not convinced. "You still did nothing but grin after she left."

"What do you want me to do? Yell at her?" Alfred held his hand out in a shrug before he dropped it to his side with a loud _slap_. "Come on, Arthur. I have a lot of girl friends."

"That you let kiss you?" I exploded.

"Arthur, knock it off. You are over reacting."

I hated being told something I already knew. It only set me off even more, resulting in bad consequences. I promptly stormed to my car and got in. Alfred followed, calling my name. He grabbed the door handle, but I locked the car. He knocked on the window.

"Arthur! Arthur, come on! Don't do this!" he pleaded. "Come on! You came down to see me! I want to eat your donuts!"

I put the car into drive, glaring at Alfred out the window. "Bollocks to the donuts!"

And sped off. In all honesty, I had never done something as brash as this before, but Alfred had found it; the worst aspect of me. My jealousy had boiled over and I became selfish. Alfred was _mine_ and mine alone. No flirty little tramp could take him away from me.

If I had to close Alfred up in my arms then I would. Never let him leave.

* * *

Somehow, I found myself back at my home, but hadn't bothered to wander in. My hair was a tattered mess as I cried while driving home. The tear stains and redness were still present on my face. My green eyes were lifeless as I stared at nothing in the distance. I hated how dependent I was of Alfred. He controlled so much of my life, but it was something that happened naturally.

After moving away, our attachment to each other grew worse. During the weekends we would hardly leave each other's sides. The band had agreed that we would meet as much as possible during these times and practice. But in the evenings and mornings, it was us. Only us. And I felt fast.

Whenever Alfred had to go home, he clung to me like a child, crying and begging not to leave. I would soothe him with a smile I thought was enough and a pat on the head, a kiss to the forehead, and promises of _soon_. Soon he'd be free and with me. Only with me. Not girls with seductive plans.

So engrossed was I in my thoughts that I didn't see Alfred pull his truck up behind me until he knocked on the passenger window. I looked over, expressionless.

He frowned at seeing my sad state. "Can I come in?"

I reached over and unlocked the door, not even sure of how I was able to move at the moment. There were so many conflicting thoughts in my head. I didn't know where to start. It wasn't even the girl anymore. Never was. It was the lying and the secrets. I was tired. I was so exhausted from them. But I was no better.

I lied to myself daily, saying that it would be okay. That Alfred was just slow in not telling me and that our unstable relationship would survive. That my past would never have to come into play since Alfred wasn't bringing his in. That I would never make Alfred angry and he'd get so mad he'd drop me flat on my back like he did Kiku. That he'd still love me in the morning.

If I wanted to start pointing fingers I would have to find some way to point them at me as well. I would have to take a step forward with Alfred. That was what a relationship was about. Moving together. We had been taking inertia steps; so painful it was creating mountains out of these molehills and I was crying and driving away from my boyfriend for being a _boy_ when I should have kissed him and surprised him like I had dreamed of for a week.

"I'm sorry," Alfred whispered in the still air. He had been sitting and waiting while my mind whirled. "Arthur, I didn't mean to make you cry…"

"I don't want you to see her anymore," I said suddenly. I'm not sure why I said it when my jealousy had quelled.

But if I was to feel secure in anything with this relationship, it was to make sure no females came between us. Or males for that matter, thinking of Gilbert.

"What?" Alfred looked at me incredulously.

"Please, Alfred," I whispered, trying to not sound as desperate as I felt. "Please, for me. I don't like her. I don't like how you are with her."

"Arthur, I swear, it was just that one time and I don't-"

"Are you going to do it or not?" I shouted, snapping from my tense nerves.

Alfred put his hands up, his eyes widening. "Okay, okay, I won't. I promise. Jeez, are you gonna put anymore laws on me? I mean, hell, you don't live here or see me that often anymore. What right do you have?"

"The right of your God damn boyfriend, that's what!" My fingers twitched, aching to grab him and shake some sense into him. "I'm just asking you to do one simple thing!"

"Well excuse me for not liking it when you put shit down like that." Alfred crossed his arms and putting a foot up on the seat as he twisted his body to look at me. He was turning rebellious right before my eyes. "I mean, what the hell, Arthur? I can't just stop being friends with everyone because they like me and want to hang out with me. You don't see me at school anymore so there's no way you can put something like that on me. You know me and rules."

My face paled. I grew scared and began to cry. The tears just slid down my face as I looked at nothing. Nothing that would work to help fix this. I grew tough and clingy in hopes Alfred would see how scared I was. To see he should open to me. Instead I created a meaningless fight.

Alfred couldn't stay mad, though. He pulled me into his arms and hugged me to his chest, his hands on the back of my head. "Please don't cry. I'm sorry. I had no idea you thought so little of me. I dunno why, though. I'm honest with you."

There. My chance. I had to take it head on. I wasn't going to miss another moment. Just to make sure, I threw my phone in the backseat, his with it.

"I know, Alfred. I know you lie to me. I know you have secrets," I said, forcing my voice to be steady and my gaze to hold his as I looked at him. "Something happened that hurt you. You won't tell me, but there's a beating to your heart that I just can't be apart. I want to know."

Alfred stiffened, moved to turn away, but I held fast. Held to that resolve within me that we could work through this and our relationship could last. It had to. I loved him.

"I love you," I said aloud. "I wish I could take your hand and set you on some untouched land just so you will never be sad again, but I can't! I'm trying to fix what was broken, but how can I when I don't know what's wrong? I mean, Alfred, were you molested or something?"

"What?" Alfred's eyes grew to an impossibly large size as he twisted his face to look disgusted. "Why the hell would you think that?"

I blushed for my reason. "When we make love, I hold your wrists and you panic."

"O-oh." Alfred flushed as well, looking away. "No, I swear that didn't happen. No molestation or rape. Promise."

I sighed in relief. "Good…"

"…Were you?" Alfred asked tentatively.

"No!" I snapped my head up as Alfred looked over.

Our eyes met. I grabbed for him and he for me. We were idiots. Fools that rushed into love. He could feel as I caressed his face and kissed him a thousand times over in apology that I loved him more than anything. Knew he had run his last breath on his lies.

"Don't…," I whispered. "Don't leave me…"

Hearing his own words turned on him, Alfred gasped against my lips. Unsure of what to do, he froze up. I kept kissing him and whispering apologizes, saying he didn't have to leave his friend, asking him to hold me, and begging for him not to leave me.

He then collapsed against my body, his head on my shoulder. It felt wet suddenly and I worried Alfred was crying. His hands gripped at my shirt. For some reason, his large frame suddenly felt so much smaller as he shook in my arms. So many times he had seemed so childish, be it from his daily antics to his pleas for me not to leave when I moved away. But right now, at this moment, I had never felt a more fragile person than the boy in my arms.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled to my shoulder. "I want to tell you…I will…"

"Don't you trust me…?" I asked slowly, rubbing his back.

"I do!" He snapped his head up to look at me with wide vulnerable eyes. "I do more than anyone. Please, believe me."

Biting my lip, I felt compelled to. I recalled the few weeks ago when he tried. He was trying. There was the effort. He was trying to match pace with me. I had to tell myself to remember he was younger than me and had a different experience so he would be slower in some departments while I was faster in others.

Taking a deep breath, I nodded and smiled. I caressed his soft bangs behind his ear and kissed him gently. "I do… But I still want to know you. Everything. I will… tell you about me…"

"I want to know too," Alfred said tenderly, cupping my face with his hand. "About you."

"I will," I promised. I would make good on that too. "We have to trust one another. What happened in my past wasn't connected to you and I was not a part of yours so it's unfair we treat each other this way. But we are each other's futures…"

"I'm just weak," Alfred mumbled. He looked down at his lap, but took my hands in his. Not looking at me and with red ears he said, "But I'll be your strength. And I'll wait for you. I will. So will you be my strength?"

I smiled, honest and true. All these promises were just hopeful words filled with uncertainty. At this moment we had to both bring forth the first form of trust. Trust that our words were not just hope and would not shatter at our feet. Already, the sign of faith was blooming in our hearts. It was scary to think that this boy I adored and loved so much could destroy my world.

But it was just as scary for him to think the same thing for me.

"I will…"

Alfred kissed me. It wasn't passionate or heavy. I held him close, making a soft sound as I felt tears on his face slip between our lips. A few tears fell from me as well.

"Why do you love me?" Alfred asked. He fluttered his eyes open to look at me.

I thought for a moment on how I should answer. I had once asked Alfred that question before I graduated. At the time, I didn't want to know. I was too scared. Alfred could possibly be curious as to what I would say or just as terrified. Then, I recalled another memory.

When Alfred had first confessed to me. He was scared, yes, and nervous, but also bold and daring. He wasn't sure how I would answer, but he went with it anyways. I admired him, loved him, for his strength. To say he was weak was laughable and an insult and I was sad to know Alfred thought that of himself. No matter what I said to that, he wouldn't change. He was firm in his thoughts.

I would just have to show him.

"A wise boy once said, 'I don't know. Don't question my feelings'," I replied with a smile.

Alfred looked confused, but the fear had left his eyes. Good. "Who said that? That sounds familiar."

I chuckled, kissing his cheek and wiping away those tears. "You did, you prat."

"I did?" Alfred looked like he was thinking for a moment. "Wow, that was almost a year ago. I can't believe you actually remembered that. What are you, an elephant?"

"No, just British." The light-hearted Alfred was returning, bringing back the jovial Arthur. Our normalcy had come once again. The way it should be.

"Because that's totally a reason for everything," Alfred laughed with a roll of his eye. He looked at me and then attacked my mouth with his.

I was pushed against the window, my hands shooting out in surprise. The horn blared once before I moved it to Alfred's face, holding it close. I forgot, when Alfred was emotional he became very physical. Or, with me, very sexual. His hands were already heading south as he gave me another hickey. I pushed to stop him, but he held fast with his teeth and _oh that tongue_.

"Alfred," I moaned. No, don't open legs. "We're in my car…out in public…in broad daylight."

"So?" Twit was perfectly fine fornicating in the open air _in front of my house_! "It's make-up sex time."

I put a hand on his face as I shuddered away from that dangerous mouth. "Alfred, it wasn't nearly long enough to warrant any 'make-up sex' time."

Alfred pouted, holding me close. "Come ooooon. Please? Your parents aren't home!"

I glanced behind him at my house. My parents wouldn't be home for a few more hours, but considering the stern talking they gave to Alfred upon my departure for college, I couldn't take a risk. They had let us off the hook because I was moving out soon. I'm not so sure we should risk my first visit back home ending up in my father's rage.

I sighed, sitting up and turning on the car. Alfred looked to me curiously. "Where are we going?"

"Somewhere private," I said with a red face. "I must be out of my mind."

Alfred laughed, putting an arm around me, nuzzling into my neck. "You are, but so am I."

* * *

* * *

_Hoshiko2_'s cents: Sorry for the longest time between updates. I got sick and then FLAT OUT HATED THIS CHAPTER! It was awkward to write. But it's important for a stepping stone to the next chapter, which is important. So important, oh man.

I included quotes from my newest favorite song from an FST from my favorite story. It's from the song _Rain Falls Down_ from We The Kings and I CANNOT TURN IT OFF! This song could work with either one of these boys, actually… This song was the reason I got through this chapter, actually. So to my writer pal, if you're reading this, THANK YOU FOR SHOWING ME THAT SONG! X3

For the contest, there was one PAINFULLY OBVIOUS historical parallel in here. PLEASE tell me someone got it. Don't tell me 'till the contest ends.

One last thing, I have to apologize to you guys (my readers). I said this story would focus on the band and the boys, not backstories, but look what happened anyways. I feel bad, like terrible. It took away a lot of my inspiration to even continue on the path I had designated. But it's set and school starts Monday for me. I want this done before February when I will be overloaded with school work. So, again, I'm really sorry…


	17. Chapter 16

I consider myself a pretty predictable chap. I remain calm for the majority of the day until I can't tolerate people anymore, then I hide away in my room with my mobile and Alfred's voice to soothe me to sleep. If Alfred is unavailable, I generally will listen to jazz and even practice on the small keyboard my family bought me for Christmas. Recently, I had even begun taking guitar lessons, curtsey of Antonio.

So when people see me sitting in the main lobby of the dorm rooms with my head in my hands, everyone knows something is up. I didn't want to escape to my room because it reminded me of Alfred. The boy that was scaring me to the point of depression.

Those promises had melted into nothing with the coming of spring. Neither one of us had acted on anything. That isn't to say it was for malicious reasons or that we forgot; we just both became extremely busy with our school life. Alfred was truly clamping down on his school work and was aiming for straight A's. Proud as I was, I wanted to spend more time with him, but college had broken our agreement and cut in on my social life.

It had been a month since I had seen Alfred. An entire month.

"_Mon ami_, what is wrong?"

I looked through my fingers to see the Bad Touch Trio, as they had become known on campus, sit down on the couch opposite me. They looked genuinely worried about me. I dropped my hands and head with a loud sigh.

"I know that sigh," Francis said, tapping his chin. "That's the sigh of Alfred has done something wrong again, no?"

"Is it that obvious," I mumbled.

The trio nodded in unison.

"_Oui_."

"_Si_."

"_Ja_."

I lifted my head and flopped back against the couch, my arms lying limply on the seat beside me with my legs jutting out. "Brilliant… I'm in such deep Barney."

"Who is Barney?" Antonio asked.

"Barney… Barney Rubble?" I looked at them as they kept their blank stares on me. "Trouble!"

"Oh!" the trio exclaimed at once in understanding. I sighed again in frustration.

"What's the problem this time?" Gilbert asked. "I thought Alfred did this totally romantic thing on your guys' first year."

"He did," I said, blushing slightly. "He took me to a Jazz concert and then we walked and…then…"

"You got lucky," the trio said in unison. It was really starting to get creepy how well they did that.

I nodded while blushing like some virgin. I'm sure my neighbors had heard either one of us scream at one point. Alfred was gradually getting louder and there were times I lost myself to his body. However, I was still very nervous of public displays of affection, choosing to hold just our fingers rather than our hands. Alfred was smart enough to know he would only be bold when there was absolutely no one around.

"So then what's the problem now?" Gilbert asked.

To be honest, I felt extremely uncomfortable telling these three boys my personal problems, especially ones that dealt with my relationship with Alfred. It was awkward enough as it was that the band knew we were together. I preferred Francis and Gilbert, especially Francis, didn't know of anything past the status. However, I was desperate. I must have been to come to a Frenchman for help.

"Distance… I guess we're not ready for it. It's put a strain on our relationship," I started. Better to begin with explaining something very trivial compared to the real reason.

"That is only natural," Antonio said, smiling at me sympathetically. "But distance makes the heart grow fonder. Things will change over time. It's just rough right now, but you will find a common road."

Francis moved to sit next to me and put an arm around my shoulder. "_Angleterre_, we have never been close, but I do worry for you. I hate to see you so down. I know it's tough right now, but you are strong. You will pull through this. Soon he will be moving to college and things will change again. This is just a, how do you say… test run."

I felt a quirk tug on my lips. Still, they didn't know the truth. The real truth.

"There's something else, isn't there?" Gilbert asked. He had been watching me and studying my reactions.

I looked at the floor as soon as I glanced over to him. My action made the three shift uncomfortably. They were waiting for me to say something, not pressing or demanding. I was waiting too. Waiting to say the one thing about my relationship, hell, my life, that had been wrong for over a year now.

"Alfred's been lying to me…," I whispered, worried that the world would hear me and splinter into pieces. "He doesn't trust me…"

"Then he doesn't love you," Gilbert said flatly.

I gasped, my words stumbling over one another. "B-but he loves me! How could-?"

Antonio held up a hand. "_Mi hombre_, no, it doesn't work that way. You have to build trust and then love. You can't have it be the other way around."

I gulped back tears. My heart was pushing them up through my throat and straight to my eyes. "But is it because of me? Did I do something to make him act this way?"

"You can't blame yourself." Antonio was now beside me. "There are many reasons as to why and you just don't know them."

Gilbert leaned closer from his spot across from me, scooting the couch closer so his leg now brushed against mine. "He's right. Blaming yourself gets you nowhere. If he's going to be a dick and not trust you, then you have to trust him and take a step forward."

Tears slipped out at those words. "I don't… I can't…"

"Then you don't love him. This entire relationship has been a farce." Gilbert frowned. "Do you want that? Do you want to keep going knowing that's how it is?"

I cried more while shaking my head. All of the stress and the great chasm of loneliness and uncertainty had taken its toll on my body. I felt physically sick as I broke down in the lobby. A few students wandered in, saw the trio holding me, and quickly moved away. Some asked if I was okay, but the boys waved them away. Francis rubbed my back while Antonio hugged me and Gilbert held my hand. It wasn't the comfort I craved, but it would do. I preferred to have just one pair of arms holding me and a soothing American voice tell me everything would be fine.

"No," I managed after a time. "I love him. I want to trust him. He promised me he'd tell me soon."

"Have you been honest the entire time as well?" Francis asked suddenly. "That could be the problem too."

"Yeah, if you were honest the entire time and then you lied or Alfred felt his trust in you wane then he could be too scared to open to you." Gilbert squeezed my hand. "That happened, didn't it?"

I nodded weakly, putting my head on Francis' shoulder. "I'm pathetic…"

Antonio pinched my cheek. "No. What did we say about blaming yourself?"

After apologizing, Francis had me look at him. "Arthur, you have to confront this. Alfred is younger than you and probably has good reasons to be untrusting. But whether or not he lied to you or is keeping secrets, the fact remains that he cares deeply for you. It may not be love at this time, but he does care."

"He made a band with you."

"Drives an hour up here every weekend to see you."

"Wrote a song for you."

"Endured our Disney songs."

I laughed, shaking my head at the last one. It was true. He had done all of those things. But then…

"I did them with him too…," I said aloud, realization hitting me. A warmth spread from my fingertips to the ends of my toes. My face heated up as my heart sped up. "I must love him… But if I can't trust him…"

"Ah," Gilbert said, holding a finger up knowingly and pointing it at me. "I think then the problem here isn't with trusting him… It's trusting yourself."

I stared at the man sitting across from me and wondered if that was still the same man that had thrown water balloons at Elizaveta and Roderich when they were on their date just the other day? Or the same man that did his laundry in just his underwear, causing all the girls to flee at the sight of such white skin? It always seemed wisdom came from the most unlikely places. And when they came, they were always the most helpful of words anyone could have asked for.

_You're the sky that I fell through. And I remember the view whenever I'm holding you._

I jumped as my cell phone rang out from my pockets. I fumbled to quickly answer it. That was Alfred's ringtone. It was the middle of the day and the boy should still be in classes. If he was calling me now then there was a possibility something was wrong. Was he hurt? Did his father-

" 'Ello?" I answered. The trio were watching me, but said nothing.

I had expected Alfred to sound upset or possibly in tears, but his voice was quiet and gentle. "Hey… Are you busy?"

"N-no," I said. I wiped at my dried tears. "What's wrong? Why are you calling me now? You should be in class. Are you sick?"

"Just felt…a little run down today." My heart clenched. What had his father done to him now? "Hey, listen, I have good news! Matt joined a band at his new school!"

"What? Matthew is in a band?"

Francis' eyes lit up. "_Mathieu_?"

I held up a hand to silence him, trying to hear Alfred's quiet voice. "This is wonderful!"

"I know." I could hear Alfred's smile. The sound of covers crinkling from the background made me see an image of the boy lying on his bed in my head. He had just rolled over, probably onto his side. "His first performance is tomorrow…and I wanted you to come with me."

My breath caught. I could feel eyes watching me, but worked to ignore them. "I'd…I'd like that…"

"Good," Alfred breathed. "I missed you so much. I want to make it up to you since school has been hard and I'm so worried about college and… I'm in agony waiting to see if I got into your school or not."

At first, I thought I had heard wrong. But then, I stuttered, "M-my school? Alfred, don't tell me you applied here for me! Don't come here for me!"

Francis held his hands up, panic on his face. "Don't say that!" he hissed.

I caught myself quickly. "I mean, don't come to this school just because of me. Think of your future."

Alfred sighed in relief. "N-no, I mean…I wanted to come to your school to see you, yeah. That's the reason I took a look at it. But it has a great science and math department. So I applied. Being with you…is the biggest thing that school has to offer me, though."

I sighed, falling back into the couch. My face was so hot and my eyes couldn't focus. I think my vision blurred from tears coming up again. This boy that terrified me also could make me feel so better with just a few words. Words he thought were just some words, but meant so much more to me.

"I'd love to go with you…"

What sounded like a sigh of a smile Alfred said, "Great… I'll pick you up tomorrow when I get out of school."

"I'm half-tempted to tell you just to come now and skip tomorrow," I blurted.

Everyone reeled back to stare at me. "Arthur!"

I blushed, laughing slightly. "I'm not quite sure what came over me. I must be getting the American disease of ignoring the rules."

Alfred laughed. Oh, how I missed that laugh. It spread over the phone to me, causing me to visibly relax. Francis and Antonio smiled, releasing me, but Gilbert kept staring at me. He wasn't convinced just yet.

"Naw, that's purely an Alfred Jones thing," Alfred laughed. "I totally started it. Like my ancestor did. You know… the one in the war that kicked your ancestor's ass?"

"I have yet to see this proof," I chuckled. I nodded at Gilbert to let him know it was okay.

The boys were right. I had to trust myself that I could pull through this. I had been the one to say that this relationship had to start on trust now and we had to move forward, but I had remained stationary. Alfred had probably never done something like this before and needed guidance. I was clueless as well, but if I thought of what awaited me afterwards, I could muster the strength and pull through.

The thought that someday, soon, there would be no more lies and secrets and Alfred would love and trust me was the only hope I had in my heart at that moment.

* * *

Matthew's new school was nice. Not nearly as prestigious as the academy he had attended before, but it was still classy. His uniforms were much bluer and less plaid and tan than my alma mater. The band's first performance was the school's talent show. There had been quite a turn-out and many of the performers were exceptionally good. It took me only a few performances to realize that this school was a musical magnet school.

I turned to Alfred beside me. He was beaming and refused to let go of my hand, no matter how embarrassed I was. But it seemed no one cared and if they did, there wasn't a fuss.

"Matt's up next!" Alfred declared. He looked at me, smiling more.

Blushing, my hand moved on its own to caress Alfred's face. I had missed seeing those eyes and feeling that smooth skin. He had yet to start getting any facial hair. I couldn't picture him with a beard or even a goatee. I hoped if he ever did hit that side of puberty that he wouldn't pursue any desire to grow anything out.

Our reunion had been hot and heavy. Alfred picked me up in the air, swinging me around like a doll, and pushed me up against the side of the building, snogging me hard. I could only scramble my hands all around his face while hitching a leg up and around the back of his. My fear of pubic affection had been washed away when I saw those blue eyes and that smile. Always that smile.

Gilbert and Antonio had been watching from their window and cat-called down to us, effectively stopping anything more. I ran to Alfred's truck while the boys whistled after us and reminded us to have safe sex. Bloody wankers.

"There he is!" Alfred pointed at the stage while bouncing on the balls of his feet.

I looked, just as excited as him. Matthew was holding a violin and looking less intimidated. He looked more of his own man. A surge of pride made me smile. Moving away had been very good for him.

He looked out in the crowd and spotted Alfred and me. We waved to him and he returned it with a small smile. The band turned to each other as the host announced the band. I missed the name because Alfred decided at that moment to scream in my ear, a fist raised as he called out Matthew's name. It's okay, I didn't need that ear anyways.

Matthew started tapping with his foot and then began playing on his violin. It was a very up-tempo number. The drummer and other violinist kept up with Matthew, but the boy fell into his own world. He stamped his foot and closed his eyes, playing harder and faster. I was caught up in the music, staring at the boy that was once so shy and timid it looked as if he would vanish behind his cello. Here he was in his full element and playing his heart out. Alfred had always said that Matthew was extremely gifted on a fiddle.

"Let's dance!" Alfred said suddenly. He held up the hand he already had and grabbed my other. "Come on! I'll show you how to square dance!"

I stumbled after him, tripping over a few feet as the students started dancing. I wasn't very good at dancing other than waltzing, something I taught Alfred very early into our relationship. It was my favorite dance and I demanded we do it more than once. But American dancing? I was lost once again.

Alfred took my hands and moved me around his body, laughing all the while. I tried to mimic his moves and learned it wasn't too difficult to do. Just repetition like every dance. The other students caught on to our dancing and began square dancing as well. The moment caught up with me and I started laughing. Alfred moved in closer, his hands on my hips, and picked me up in the air. I laughed harder, my hands on his shoulders, until he put me down. He then spun me a few times, but instead of wondering how come I was the female partner in the dance, I just continued to laugh until my mouth hurt.

All the stress was being stamped away with Matthew's playing. One of the band members yelled out, but other than that, the piece was entirely instrumental. Words were not needed. Everyone could feel the pure energy this band made. That Matthew had made. Alfred must have been so proud of his twin.

In a matter of minutes, the song was over with one last slide on the violins. The school erupted into applause, earning them quite a high rank in the finals. Alfred was whistling and calling his brother's name. I couldn't stop smiling as I applauded.

The band exited the stage. Alfred took my hand and surged through the crowd to the small door off to the side of the stage. Before we arrived, the door opened and the band came out celebrating. Alfred reached out and pulled his brother away, giving him a tight hug. I patted Matthew's back, not at all surprised to see he had worked up quite a sweat. The boy had really played a number out there.

"Holy shit, Matt that was AMAZING!" Alfred exclaimed, his hands out.

"It was!" I chimed in. "What kind of violin playing style was that?"

"Canadian," Matthew started. He moved the stray curl aside, trying to catch his breath. "Well, specifically Cape Breton fiddling. It's my favorite style."

"I don't know where that is, but it's damn awesome! It was like you were tap dancing! Seriously dude, when did you get that good?"

Matthew laughed nervously. "Practice makes perfect?"

"Hey, Matt," a band mate called. "We have to stay back stage in case we win. Come on."

Matthew nodded, but turned back to us. "Will you stay until the end?"

"Of course!" Alfred was like a child bursting with excitement as if he had been dropped into Disneyland. He smiled at me. "We'll keep dancing. Arthur's really good."

Matthew smiled knowingly and left, but neither one of us had noticed. I was enraptured by Alfred's eyes. The music suddenly filled our ears as we realized the next performance had started. It was a slow song with a piano and violins and a wonderful singer.

_You're in my arms and all the world is gone.  
The music playing on for only two.  
So close together. And when I'm with you  
So close to feeling alive…_

Alfred held out his hand, giving me a slight bow; a proper invitation to dance. I smiled, feeling hopelessly giddy, and accepted his hand. He led me back out onto the dance floor where others had begun dancing. His hand was on my waist while the other still held my hand. I put my free hand on his shoulder as we swayed to the music.

_So close to reaching that famous Happy Ending  
Almost believing this one's not pretending  
Now you're beside me and look how far we've come.  
So far we are so close._

The singer went into an interlude and the music took over. Alfred sped up our dancing. I felt the world sink away, uncaring who was watching. I just kept my eyes on him, only him, and danced with him close. He spun me, held me close, and caressed my face. I think at some point he whispered my name as we continued to dance.

I knew this song. I remembered it from a movie Alfred had put on but didn't pay attention to. He was too busy kissing me at the time. But I remembered because I understood. Saw how much we had changed over the year we had been together, but it was so close to everything. Everything that had been holding us back. The past pains that always seemed to vanish when we were together; the things that no longer should affect our lives, but still do because we let them. I would rather let Alfred and only Alfred affect my life now.

Tightening my hold on the boy as we slowed our pace to a crawl, I leaned in against his ear. "So close…so close and still so far…"

The last piano keys played as the string section held out the last cord. And then, the moment was over. I released Alfred, but kept my eyes on him. He knew. The look in his eyes wasn't of fear, though. But it wasn't strength either. It was hope.

"I need to talk to you," I said sternly.

There are two times in a relationship that these words will come about. Either when one actually does just want to talk or when a break-up is on the horizon. Alfred knew that I didn't mean the latter, though. He nodded, entwining our fingers, and I led him out of the cafeteria where the show was being held. The evening air was crisp and I shivered into my jacket. Alfred followed behind me, but I released his hand, moving a little away from him before stopping. In the back we could hear the light thrumming of the next performance.

"I'm going to trust you," I whispered to the silent air. "Trust that you won't break my heart. Will you promise me that?"

With Alfred behind me and my back to him I couldn't see his expression. I imagined it was one of those pained looks someone has when they don't know what to say. Sometimes he will look that way when I've gone too far in an argument or when he receives terrible news from home. Maybe it was more than that.

With a shuddering sigh, I released my secret.

"I am not the youngest son of my parents. There... was another. Peter. He was closer to me in age than my other brothers and he was very attached to me. One day... we took a ride on a boat on Thames. He fell in. I couldn't swim. I was right there and he had my hand. I had let go and then watched him drown."

I paused, the sound of laughter and waves hitting me in a haunting memory. Of a secret photo in my room no one knew existed. Of a child my family buried. I could still see him. The splash. The endless watery dark devouring his little body. My little brother; forever lost at sea. Alfred remained silent. Good. I wasn't done. I wanted to get it all out. No more secrets. It was time one of us was clean. Our relationship was stretched so thin by the lack of trust. By the fear. Fear of the other leaving.

"That's why we moved here. The memories… It was too much. For awhile I didn't even talk after Peter drowned. My parents say they don't blame me, but they do." My voice cracked, but not from puberty. Tears slipped free. "They are always out, working or avoiding me. My brothers and I put distance between us. I couldn't stay close to another family member. To another person. So I built a wall, but wished it would fall down while I was asleep."

My vision blurred, but when I looked at Alfred I could still see him. He was still there.

He rushed for me, taking me in his arms as I began to collapse on the grass, damp from evening dew. I could hear his heart beating hard against his ribcage and I clung to it. Clung to the fact that was still alive. He was still here.

"I'm a murderer," I cracked out.

"No!" Alfred finally exclaimed. He caressed my face, pushing back my bangs to look at me, but I was blinded by my tears. "No Arthur, you are not. Don't say that. It was an accident."

I shook my head violently. "He was right there! I watched it! I didn't do anything!"

"It's okay. Sh, no, you're not a murderer." He held me close, rubbing my back and rocking me slightly. "If you had jumped in, you might have drowned too."

For a time all I could do was cry. Cry and be happy to have Alfred there. It might have taken a month to finally hold him and years to be able to finally talk of my brother's death, but it had come. And he was there. Always had been there. I thought back to the conversation I had with the trio from yesterday. Again, they had been right.

Alfred did care for me in some way. While we were still young and probably confused our feelings of love, there was that underlying fact that we were still deeply enamored with one another. Now that I had trusted him, I felt the overwhelming ability to fully love him the best I could. Still, I had to wait for him to tell me of himself.

"Hey, there you are." Matthew said behind us. The crunching of his feet stopped short. "Um, is everything okay?"

Alfred looked over his shoulder, shielding me from view. "Yeah, um, can we have a minute? Everything's fine. Just… Arthur needs a few."

"Yeah, sure, no problem. I'll be inside." He hastily walked away, returning Alfred and me to just ourselves.

"Come on, sit up Artie." I didn't struggle with the name, just moved to look at Alfred's blue eyes. They were watery. He moved to wipe away my tears, kissing my cheeks. "I take it you still don't know how to swim?"

I nodded. "I'm terrified of the water."

"That would explain why you never went swimming whenever we went to the public pool back in the summer." He caressed my face, continuing to look at me. His soft hands pulled me in and I had to close my eyes. "Is that the picture of the boy in your room…?"

I nodded mutely. Alfred said no more, just held me and helped me stand up. After a few more shuddering breaths I was able to straighten my back and smile at the boy. He offered me a reassuring smile back. I looked up at the sky, feeling stronger and weaker than I had in my entire life. My hand searched for Alfred's own warm palm. He took it, squeezing lightly, and pulled me close.

"I trust you," Alfred whispered. "I do… I just…Remember… I'm weak. You're so much stronger than me…"

I shook my head, a small smile. "That is absurd… but nothing I say will change your mind. Just know that I will be here for you whenever you feel ready."

"I know." He moved a stray strand of my blonde hair behind my ear and kissed my forehead. "I love you."

"And I you…"

* * *

_Hoshiko2_'s cents: I choked up writing this chapter. It's dedicated to a very special friend of mine, but I know she doesn't read this (doesn't like the pairing) so she'll never see it. But just in case, have faith sweetie. You will be strong.

Sadly, this is where it all goes to Hell in a hand basket. Mega warning for extreme angst next chapter as Alfred's secret will be revealed.

Song that Matt's band played was _So Close_ from Enchanted. Yes, another Enchanted song. I can't help it. I love Disney, so sue me. Also, if anyone watched the 2010 Olympics and saw the opening, then you MUST have seen those Canadians PLAYING THE SHIT OUT OF THOSE VIOLINS AND TAP DANCING WITH FIRE COMING OUT OF THEIR SHOES! Come on! THAT WAS PURE AWESOME! Al taught his bro well. Anyways, since then, I have had an extreme love of seeing Matthew just shred on a string instrument like that. Sadly, no link to show you all since Youtube had nothing. Dunno why…

No historical catch in this chapter. One last thing- I was thinking of making one last FST to this series. It wouldn't be jazzy at all, but would be filled with songs that I listened to while writing this. I'm not sure if I should, though… It would be rather short… So I'm asking for your guys' feedback. And just in case, FST means Fan Soundtrack. I know a few of you didn't know that last time around. Anyways, see you Sunday.


	18. Chapter 17

_A/N_: Third person this time. For a good sense of Alfred's pain, please listen to _Fruits Basket_'s song "Sorairo Instrumental Version" (Sky-blue). It was the inspiration I had for this chapter.

* * *

Arthur awoke early in the summer morning. Alfred was still in his arms, bare and peacefully asleep. At midnight, he had jumped Arthur, taking him into his arms and making passionate love to him. He was nineteen now. Arthur clung to him, gasping his name, and arching into him. He had almost forgotten what it was like to have someone shower him in love.

The question of love and trust hadn't been brought up in some time. Alfred had been trying to make progress, Arthur could see, but as time wore on he was starting to lose his resolve. And with the arrival of summer, Alfred had officially moved out of his father's house. Because of their excitement, the boys were not to be disturbed for the entire weekend; something the trio down the hall had far more fun with than they should have.

Alfred had been accepted into the same college, turning down two other schools he applied for. At first, Arthur was against this, but had been easily persuaded after a date and a promise that the future was always Alfred's main priority. Then, Alfred moved into Arthur's dorm, but conveniently didn't tell the school he had moved in early. To pass the time, the boys got summer jobs, saving up for a place of their own. And while there was still the itching to know what happened, Arthur no longer pressed the issue.

The night at the talent show had started Arthur's own healing. Knowing it would be a slow process, he sought out the help in the few friends he had. When Alfred was unable to be there, he would ask Norge or even Gilbert. He never gave many details to Norge or Gilbert, but there would be times they would catch him tearing up.

With Alfred, he was more open. Talking of his doubts after Peter's death, the dark times after the drowning, the many nights he had cried himself to sleep. But it wasn't so easy. And for that, he sat back for awhile to allow himself to heal before he heard whatever troubled Alfred.

Arthur stroked Alfred's face, smiling to himself. The boy had been so patient with him during these rough months. Thanks to Alfred's constant good mood, Arthur found he could get through anything.

"Alfred?" Arthur whispered. He moved and kissed him, caressing his face. "Alfred? Wake up my birthday boy."

The blonde stirred, his eyebrows furrowing, before opening his eyes. Upon seeing Arthur, he smiled like always. "Hey…"

He rolled over to lie atop Arthur, smiling brightly in the morning light. Arthur curled his hands around Alfred's broad shoulders, trying to match his smile in return.

"Good morning, luv," Arthur purred. "Sleep well?"

"Very," Alfred replied. He nuzzled into Arthur's neck. "I could get used to this."

"I already am." He pulled Alfred to kiss him. "Alfred…"

"Hey!" Alfred said suddenly. Arthur jerked back in surprise. "My present! What is it? Last year you gave me you. Do I get that again this year?"

Arthur smirked as he spread his legs. "That and more, Alfred. That and more…"

* * *

Arthur saw Matthew across the yard and called to him. He stopped, turned, and waved. Arthur trotted over to talk to him. A birthday present was securely under his arm.

"Matthew, happy birthday!" Arthur held out his gift with a smile.

Matthew took the gift and laughed. "You mean belated, right?"

Arthur looked confused. Matthew's expression suddenly changed to surprised. He began to stutter as he looked away. Arthur knew that sometimes Matthew was a forgetful chap, but not on such an important day such as his birthday. Upon seeing the sudden fear and nervousness in his face, Arthur grew suspicious.

"What's going on, Matthew?" Arthur asked slowly.

"N-nothing."

"Look at me and say that," Arthur said sternly. Slowly Matthew turned around, but his eyes were downcast. "Matthew."

Matthew couldn't make eye contact with Arthur and in moments, Arthur had realized that he had been lied to. Not about if a boy was okay for the day or if he was hiding something. No, this was worse. Alfred had hidden the relationship of his own brother. Although, Arthur suddenly worried that the two weren't brothers at all.

Arthur moved for Matthew's wallet. Since the boy's arms were weighed down by the present, he couldn't react fast enough to stop him. Once he had pulled it out, Arthur flipped open to his driver's license. In one moment, everything had changed.

Everything had broken. Shattered exactly as Arthur had known it would. He had lied in hopes it wouldn't. It just couldn't.

"Williams… Your last name is... WILLIAMS?" Arthur threw down his wallet in anger. "What is the meaning of this?"

"I can explain." Matthew held up his hand, the other still holding the gift. He set it down at his feet and put both hands up. "I thought Al had told you."

"No, Alfred has NOT told me anything! I keep waiting, but he won't tell me a bloody thing!" Arthur flung his hands up in frustration. He felt more pain than his body could handle.

However, he didn't break down as he craved. He wished to fall to the grounds and cry. Curse all of this pain that overwhelmed him and made him unable to move. So many thoughts slammed back and forth against his skull, echoes of voices, promises, hopes and dreams all foolishly made with one boy. All his eggs, once again, dumped in the hands of a blonde. A blonde that may not have drowned, but had vanished long ago from Arthur's hands.

The boy turned and ran. Matthew called to him, but it was no use. Arthur was inconsolable. Knowing there was little time, Matthew skirted off to Arthur's dorm room, hoping to make it before Arthur did.

* * *

Arthur sighed into his hands, thinking that this was his luck. There were so many warning signs that pointed to Alfred's distrust in each other. He thought of what could have possible made Alfred lose faith in him before they even got to their six month. And here we are, he thought, over a year later and nothing has changed. Nothing but the lies.

Arthur was sitting in the common lounge, blocking out the noise of the people around him until they left for class. That was where Francis, Antonio, and Gilbert found him, still with his head in his hands. The boys grew worried, remembering that this scene was all together far too similar.

"_Mon ami_, what are you doing here alone?" Francis asked.

"Yeah, you look like shit," Gilbert said.

Arthur sighed again. He didn't need their help right then. "What does it look like?"

All three looked to each other. Then, in unison they said, "Alfred."

Arthur wasn't in the least bit surprised they knew. He only managed a small nod. Francis began to rub Arthur's back while Antonio sat on the other side and Gilbert in front of the Englishman. Just like last time. The situation had a bittersweet taste to the memory.

"Have you ever been in a relationship where your significant other is lying to you?" Arthur asked finally.

The boys were quick.

"_Si_."

"_Oui_."

"_Ja_."

Arthur was caught off guard by their lack of hesitation. Francis waved his other hand in the air. "From girls that lie about their name to those that lie about their age."

"Girls that say they're prettier online than they really are offline," Gilbert continued.

"And girls that say they're a girl, but they're not." Upon seeing all of the boys' reactions, Antonio looked greatly surprised. He put his hand on his chest. "You mean I'm the only one?"

"I don't mean that. I mean something very important, like his relation to his own brother," Arthur said, blatantly ignoring Antonio.

The trio all raised their eyebrows in unison. Gilbert leaned forward, a rare worried expression on his face. "Arthur is there something we should know about?"

"It's nothing gross," Arthur started, but stopped. "Well, at least that I know of. Alfred just failed to mention to me that he and his twin are actually NOT twins."

The trio sucked in air through their teeth, leaning back as if the news were a foul smell. It may as well have been for the way it made Arthur sick. He buried his head into his hands again.

"Don't fret, _Angleterre_."

"Maybe he lies to everyone," Gilbert offered. Arthur shot him a glare and he held his hands up in defense. "Look, I'm saying it might not just be about you."

Antonio put his hand on Arthur's knee. The blonde looked through his fingers at him. Antonio looked at Arthur with a small smile. "I think you need to get your mind off of this."

"_Oui_, so why don't we go to our favorite bar?" Francis asked, waving his hand toward Gilbert. Since Francis and Arthur were still underage that meant the German and Spaniard had to sneak the other two in. Luckily the two boys had enough charm to sneak them into the White House, something Arthur greatly feared they'd try to do one day. They might even succeed.

Gilbert broke out into a mighty grin that rivaled Alfred's. At the thought of Alfred, Arthur felt sick and dizzy. Two hands lifted him up suddenly. The younger boy dropped his arms in surprise as Francis and Antonio began to lead the way out of the common lounge.

Arthur kicked his legs out. "Stop this at once! You three may think it's all well to go out drinking, but I feel quite the opposite! Now unhand me!"

Gilbert popped up beside the boy. "Ya know, Arthur, I have a brother a lot like you. He's stiff and sometimes a real party pooper."

Arthur growled, "Yeah, that's me."

"I told him to chill out some, but he didn't. Next thing I know, he's all stressed out and getting medical problems. Now our entire family is worried. Do you wanna worry dear old _Mutter und Vater_?"

Arthur gulped, seeing his point. He never wanted to worry his parents. The trio smiled, knowing full well they had the blonde now. Arthur dropped his head in defeat.

"I suppose a few drinks wouldn't be so bad."

The trio punched the air in triumph, much like Alfred would. Arthur, thinking of his boyfriend again, inhaled sharply at the sharp pain that shot down his chest to his heart. Yes, a few drinks probably wouldn't be so bad, he thought.

* * *

Alfred had just returned from the showers when Matthew found him in the hallway. "Al!"

The boy turned, smiling. "Hey bro! You staying at Francis' still?"

"No time for that." Matthew pushed Alfred towards the dorm. "Hurry and get dressed. Arthur's coming. He knows we're not twins now."

Alfred's eyes hardened and he grabbed Matthew. "What else does he know?"

"N-nothing! I swear! Hurry!" Matthew looked around anxiously, expecting Arthur to appear. "He might come looking for you!"

Cursing under his breath, Alfred rushed to the dorms and throw on some clothes. Once clothed, he ran with Matthew to Francis' room where they knew he was out with friends for the day. Alfred wasn't about to ask just how the boy had a key to Francis' room and took to pacing instead.

"Al," Matthew said after a moment. "Why haven't you told him? You still think it's a big deal?"

"Of course it's a big deal!" Alfred seethed. He turned on Matthew, but the boy stood still. "You wouldn't understand, Matt. To be looked at like filth and to be hated just for who you are."

Matthew bit his lip. "But Al, how one is born isn't important. It's what you do with your life."

"YOU WERE PLANNED!" Alfred snapped. He moved his hands to strangle Matthew, but again, the boy didn't move. He knew Alfred would never hurt one he loved.

"It doesn't matter," Matthew whispered.

Alfred turned away, tears threatening his eyes. It was all over. Arthur would learn and leave, like his father. Like his mother.

"It does too! You had it all! You've always had mom and dad's love!"

Matthew moved. "Now stop that! Mother has always loved-"

Alfred turned on his heel. "Has she _ever_ said she's loved me? Even before we all found out the truth? As a child, did you hear her once tell me she loved me? Did you? You KNOW she only kept me alive to save face! To not say she murdered a child."

Matthew sighed in aggravation. "This constant want to have our parent's love is driving you insane. Can't you accept that it just can't happen? Why can't you accept that you have love now?"

Alfred stared at Matthew, unable to reply. He knew the boy was referring to Arthur. The boy had loved him, trusted him. Trusted him with the knowledge of his brother's death. That should have been the signal that Arthur wouldn't leave. Abandon him. And yet, Alfred remained firm on the fact that he was weak. Beaten when he was at his strongest.

He used to be so strong. Always running until his mother would call him inside for supper. But even then, his father would give him such gentle smiles and encouraging words of just how great he'll be when he grows older. How he'll make the family proud.

He and Matthew were raised to believe they were true brothers. No one was none the wiser. And the family was happy. Content. Perfect.

And then Alfred reached the seventh grade. His father pulled away. Would push him aside in the hallway and forget to set a place for him at the table for dinner. When he came close, it was only to hit. To hurt. To destroy everything Alfred was; strong and confident. Now, he was nothing but a shame.

So he put on the mask. That brave face to keep everyone outside guessing just who he was. Arthur had once said he had made a wall after his brother died, but really it was Alfred. He had made the wall. Kept outsiders out, watching only from afar and making sure they knew nothing of him or his brother. And if they got too close, Alfred would push them away. Scare them away.

But then there was Arthur. Arthur who broke it all. The day those men attacked him, Alfred broke his resolve. Broke it so long ago when he met him. He was so alone in those days. But Arthur found him. Found him and cared for him when he needed it the most. And then Arthur was being hurt. Struck as he had.

When Arthur called his name so weakly on the floor, Alfred's wall broke. He shoved it down, tackling his former friends. He didn't care. He would save Arthur. He would save himself.

Matthew's phone suddenly broke out in the tense silence. The boy snatched it from his pocket and opened it, giving his brother a nervous smile.

"Hello?" he answered. He held the phone away almost instantly. Loud music blared from the other side of the garbled connection. "Hello?"

"_Mathieu!_"

"Francis?" Matthew put a finger in his other ear as he leaned in to hear what the Frenchman was saying. "Where are you? I can hardly hear you! Are you at a club?"

"_Mathieu_, you have to come down to the bar! Arthur is amazing!" Francis exclaimed.

Alfred had heard him. He tensed, turning dangerously on the phone. Matthew looked at him as Francis continued to yell.

"I've never seen him like this. He's on tables and dancing. Oh ho! He's starting to take his clothes off! YES! Go Arthur! Do it for Queen and country!"

Matthew had dropped his phone to race after his brother.

* * *

Alfred rushed into the bar, easily finding Arthur standing on the table with his shirt in his hand, waving it around as people cheered him on. At the base were Francis, Antonio, Gilbert handing Arthur more alcohol. The blonde was so intoxicated he couldn't even hold the bottle without it splashing over his bare chest and sprinkling down on the onlookers.

Alfred felt Matthew behind him, probably with the same shocked face as him. No one had ever seen Arthur this loose before. And no one was more upset than Alfred.

"Arthur, get down from there!" Alfred yelled as he grabbed his arm.

A few people in the crowd watching booed his attempts to pull the drunken boy down, but Arthur yanked his arm free. He turned, hissing, causing the crowd to laugh at the two.

"No!" he started. "I don't want to do anything with you. And you can't make me."

The crowd tried to push Alfred away, but he wouldn't be deterred. He grabbed him again. "Arthur, I'm not kidding. We're going right now."

Arthur still resisted. He pulled his arm back so hard the whiplash caused him to stumble back. Alfred reached for him before he flew off of the table he was still standing on. But Arthur poured his beer on him. The bar erupted into laughter as Alfred jumped back, crying out in shock. Arthur was pointing and laughing.

"What the hell?" Alfred had his arms out as the stinky alcohol dripped off of his hair and clothes. "Arthur, why are you this way?"

"Perhaps he is merely loosening his tie finally," Francis said from a booth nearby. He was watching with an amused smirk as two girls clung to his shoulders. Sharing the booth were Antonio and Gilbert. Alfred marched up them.

"You three are fucked up!" Alfred flung his arm out towards Arthur. "How could you do this to him?"

Gilbert held up his hands in defense. "We didn't force him. He drank of his own free will."

"And he was depressed," Antonio chimed in. "We wanted to cheer him up."

"You cheer up someone by talking to them and listening to them. Not getting them piss dunk!"

Francis sighed. "Alfred, we've all listened to him for months go off about how much you upset him from all your lies. There was nothing else to talk about or listen to."

Alfred's shoulders dropped, his eyes widening at the realization it was he who had driven Arthur to drink. But, at the same time, it hit him that Arthur knew things. Things about him that he told others about and not him. Things he most certainly did not want others to know.

"Some friends you are!" Alfred yelled.

"My God you're a loud one."Arthur jumped down off of the table and came up to Alfred. The boy took a  
step back when he smelled the alcohol on his boyfriend's breath. "Don't you go blaming them. They've done nothing wrong! Whereas you won't tell me a bloody thing and we dated for over a year now! What's wrong? Don't you trust me?"

Alfred stepped back again as Arthur's tone became more and more vicious. The Englishman then began to throw his hands around in the air as he yelled.

"All this talk of love and music and yet you won't even tell me your own father hits you! I had to go to Matthew to hear the truth about all of your bleeding lies. Did you think I was stupid?"

Alfred turned to shoot daggers at his brother. He felt a downwards spiral of betrayal all over again. First Kiku, then Matthew, and now Arthur? No, not Arthur. He was different. He was special.

He had lied.

"What about you?" Alfred fought back. "You lied too! This entire time you knew, but you never said a damn thing!"

"Don't try and blame this on me," Arthur seethed. He shook the empty beer bottle his way. "I am not to blame here."

Alfred rolled his eyes. "Of course not! You're Mr. Perfect because you controlled all of high school and can do no wrong. While I'm to blame for shit that's not even a problem!"

"That girl WAS a problem!" Arthur yelled. Now he had backed Alfred into the counter. "She was whoring herself all over you!"

"Like that Bad Trio over there?" Alfred nodded over to Francis' booth. "I know that at least two of 'em want in your pants."

"Hey, leave us out of this!" Gilbert yelled.

"This isn't about them," Arthur growled.

"Then it's not about that girl either. She was just a friend. Jesus, I thought we were over this already."

"How can I feel it's over when I can't trust you?" Arthur's face was slowly losing its red color.

He was sobering up, but his anger was controlling him now. He couldn't take all of the pain anymore. His mind whirled of how rocky the relationship was from the start. He knew of the problems, knew he should've stood up to Alfred and just asked, but he was too scared. Too scared Alfred would leave him or run from him.

How silly, he thought. Alfred had already run from you. He was never here to begin with.

"Why won't you tell me, huh? What're you hiding from me? Why are you with me if you can't trust me?" Arthur shoved Alfred in the chest. It didn't do much, but the point was still there. "What, are you stupid?"

Alfred's eyes widened and his heart broke. Those words stung more than anything. Arthur started to punch Alfred in the chest as he accentuated each word.

"Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! You're such a stupid Yank!"

There was a fist thrown and a tie was broken. Alfred had punched Arthur in the face hard enough to make him fall to the floor. Someone called their names, but no one moved to stop them. The music silenced and all that was heard was their relationship shattering into pieces.

"I'M A BASTARD KID!" Alfred screamed. Arthur, holding his cheek, looked up in surprise and fear. "There! Are you happy? My dad beats me because I'm some fucking kid my mom had while she was married to him! I'm not his kid! My mom won't even tell me she loves me! She just keeps me around so she won't be labeled a murderer for having an abortion! No one wants me in this world! I thought you did, but... I was wrong."

Alfred turned and stormed out of the bar. Arthur was still on the ground, watching and unable to do anything.

* * *

"ALFRED!"

I turned to see Matthew running to me. It had started to rain, the darkness from the early evening intensified by the dark clouds. Even from where I stood I could see the fear in Matthew's eyes. He was always scared of me. Scared of what I was and what I could become. Now Arthur had seen it and looked at me the same way.

"Get away from me!" I screamed, pushing my arm out violently as if to shove him away, even though he was far away. "Just stay away from me!"

"Don't! Don't do this! Don't do this to Arthur! You two need each other!" Matthew turned as the door to the bar opened and slammed closed.

Arthur was standing just outside of it. His face was hollow and his eyes colorless.

"I DON'T NEED ANYONE! I DON'T NEED YOU OR YOU!" I pointed to first Matthew and then Arthur. Arthur reached out for me in the rain, but I moved back. His eyes shook in fear. But, was he scared of me?

Yes, everyone is. You're unloved.

"I'm not with you anymore, Arthur," I said into the rain. "I'm leaving."

I think Arthur whispered "no", but I didn't hear it. I stepped back into the dark, turned, and ran. From behind me, I heard Arthur fall to his knees. Glancing back, I could see him cry into his hand.

"Damnit... Why?" he sobbed. "How did this happen...?"

Instinctively I wanted to go to his side and hold him. I hated when he cried, but he brought this upon himself. He had lied to me and gone behind my back. He used and manipulated my love and trust.

I walked away.

* * *

I watched him leave. I couldn't stop him. I was powerless. I had always been powerless. We were lying to each other to keep up a charade of a dying relationship. The music just couldn't last forever and I knew I had made the mistake of a thousand times. And still, I couldn't find it in me to get up and hold his hand.

I cried, alone, in the rain.

_

* * *

Hoshiko2_'s cents: Many historical pieces here. One very obvious as I took it directly from the _Hetalia_ strip. I claim no rights to that scene.

That's all.


	19. Chapter 18

At first, I wasn't sure what to do, where to go, who to talk to. I couldn't trust anyone. I couldn't see.

Once Alfred walked away from me, I remained on the ground and cried until Matthew helped me back up. He took me inside where Gilbert put his jacket on me and Antonio tried to dry my eyes. But nothing would work. I kept crying. But I didn't speak. I remember Matthew telling them what had happened and being engulfed in Gilbert's arms a good rest of the evening, but aside from that, it was only Alfred that I saw. Saw his back fading away from me.

In the morning, I called my parents. They could tell from my voice something was wrong. Once at my dorm, I packed everything and moved home for the remainder of the summer. I called my job and apologized for my sudden departure, but when I explained I was no longer emotionally stable, they released me on good terms.

The rest of the summer I was in my room, mainly on my bed. I hardly spoke unless I needed to. My parents kept to their distance, but knew that Alfred and I had broken up. One night, Mother tried her best to console me, but by morning it had returned to before. The only difference was Will and Shane had come home for a visit.

My brothers were upset with Alfred and seeing that state I was in. They tried many attempts to rile me out of bed or to talk to them, but I looked on with vacant eyes. What would work when everything I knew was no longer working?

I had played by the rules, done everything perfect, and yet I still ended up alone and hurt. And far worse than before. Before, at least I had the ability to close up to people I didn't know and keep everyone at bay. I had no friends so it was simple. But now I received constant text messages and phone calls from the band to check up on me.

To be honest, I was steadily growing more and more annoyed by their good intentions. I just wanted to be alone and not be reminded of what I had. What I could no longer have.

Worst of all, someone knew. Knew what was inside my heart. Alfred knew and had thrown me aside. Left me wide open with this gaping pain in my chest that consumed all of my being. My attention could only focus on that pain, constantly gnawing on my self-conscious. I was slowly going insane.

One day, the band called a meeting at Francis' house to prepare for a performance Elizaveta was trying to arrange. Everyone knew of our break-up, especially since Alfred had been forced to suddenly move when I left. I distinctly remember tossing his things out into the hallway while moving out. At one point Matthew ran into me, carrying the possessions, but not meeting me in the eye.

I went to the meeting for the three that were not involved, deciding to offer an explanation to back out. I could no longer be in the band, nor bring myself to listen to jazz. It just hurt too much. All those wonderful memories.

"But you can't leave!" Elizaveta cried. She was holding my hand and close to tears. "Please! You made this band."

I shook my head, a pang shooting through my chest. "Alfred did… This is his band… He wanted it more than me… Please…"

"But I don't want to play with just Alfred," Felix said, from Elizaveta's side. "I want to play with you too."

"Are you sure you want this?" Roderich asked. He wasn't as upset as the others, but I could tell he didn't like to see me parting. I gave him a small nod, offering no explanation for what I really wanted.

"It'll totally be uncool without you here, you know," Felix said with a pout.

My lips quirked up, but I kept my eyes on the floor. "Thank you… But I can't…"

"Then leave!"

My legs lost blood in the back of my kneecaps momentarily at the sound of Alfred's harsh voice. That was the second time he had directed such a tone at me. The pain didn't hurt any less this time, though. After a few weeks apart I had hoped that seeing him would ease some sort of bad taste between us, but as I turned to see the venom in his eyes, I knew I had been a fool.

If he was going to be this way, then I could be just as cruel.

"Be careful of this one. He doesn't trust the lot of you," I scoffed as I turned back to Elizaveta and Felix. "He told me he doesn't trust any of you. What kind of friend is that?"

Felix instantly became alarmed. He hid behind the brunette girl, peeking out over her shoulder. Elizaveta put her hands on her hips as she frowned at me.

"Now stop that, Arthur. Don't try and break up this band."

"Yeah," Alfred chimed in from where he stood behind me. "Don't be such a damn party pooper."

For some reason, something in me snapped. All of my desires for my future and the old habit of wanting to follow the rules were dropped instantly. I could feel that constant tug of doing what was considered right just snap across my back, the whiplash causing me to physically tense up my shoulders. I had worked so hard to get where I was, find the courage to express myself for the first time in years, open my heart up to a man I thought was worthy of my trust, and reach out to those I finally felt comfortable enough to be called my friends.

And yet here I stood, utterly humiliated and alone. Because of a boy named Alfred F. Jones.

I spun on my heel, grabbed a music book that had been lying on the piano, and flung it at Alfred. He tried to dodge it, but it still hit him on the head. Still not feeling satisfied, I swung a few punches at the boy's pretty face, landing one or two on his cheek. Vaguely I remember hearing screams and our names being called, but in moments, Alfred had me on my back.

Pain registered in the back of my head as he struck me a few times too, but my rage fueled me. We were both injured, our prides shattered and our egos far gone. Now we were wild animals. I had never been in a fight outside of a few tussles with my older brothers, so this raw anger was new to me. I didn't know how to handle it. Alfred, on the other hand, had been raised the latter half of his life on physical pain. He knew exactly what he was doing.

I'm not sure what happened next, but we had been pulled apart and separated to opposite sides of the room. People spoke, I'm sure, but I didn't hear anything. My eyes were focused intently on Alfred, watching and judging his reaction. He looked so angry that I thought he would throw a door off of its hinges and then throw it at me. But he didn't look at me. If he had, maybe I'd have caught those tears sooner, but my own blinded me once more.

Quickly grabbing my things, I hurried from Francis' house. Behind me I heard the last bit of the hold I once had on myself shatter.

"Well…there goes the band."

* * *

After that, the rest of the summer became nothing to me. I never went out, never interacted with another person, and completely turned off my cell phone for good. I didn't want to hear Elizaveta begging me to come back or have Gilbert check up on me every five minutes. To hell with good intentions. This was just annoying. They were all playing in a band with that stupid idiot. As far as I was concerned, I was no longer their friend.

School started and I moved back to school. Alone. The sophomore dorms were much nicer, but we still didn't have our own bathrooms. Instead we were given a kitchen on each floor that everyone had to share. I tried to utilize this, but by the end of the first week I was banned from ever using it again. My sour mood only worsened as the band sought me out.

Elizaveta, Roderich, Felix, and Matthew had gotten into the Academy on the assumption that we would all be able to practice together without anymore tribulations. We had all thought the band would stick together as long as Alfred and I were together. But when I slammed the door in their face and refused to open up to anyone, they eventually took the hint. And left.

Aside from Norge, I threw away all of my friends. Any connection to Alfred would hurt me; constantly remind me of what was no longer beside me and what had cast me aside so coldly. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I felt that perhaps I was being a little childish, maybe over reacting just a little bit, but the pain was real. The pure feeling of betrayal continued to follow me where ever I went.

This made for my second year to be just like my first three years of high school. Alone, bitter, and secretly scared. I kept everyone I knew and didn't know far away, constantly keeping them under a tight watch to see if they were trying to break through my wall. But I preferred to be isolated.

But then one day, I met someone that managed to smuggle past my barrier.

When Shane and Will had visited I stumbled upon a pack of their cigarettes. Something in me pulled my hand to steal one and try it. At first I was revolted by the very idea and the taste of it in my mouth, but by nightfall I craved to have it back between my lips. For those few moments, there was an unnatural sense of calmness that I hadn't felt in over a year. My stress began when I learned of Alfred's pains from home and the constant lies he told, only vanishing when I had smoked earlier that day.

When school started again, I had begun buying packs daily and wandering out of my dorm room to smoke until my mind faded away to a numb dull ache. Sometimes I couldn't even wait until I was back in my room; I would sneak out of class when I found it too boring and my thoughts too loud for that moment.

By the fourth week of school, I was already addicted like that almost of a chain smoker. Music class had gotten out early one day and I had glimpsed a view of the back of Alfred walking to the dinning lounge from afar. A girl was latched onto his arm and his brother was on the other side. Seeing Alfred being so carefree and surrounded by people made my blood boil. I itched to find my pack of cigarettes, but my eyes were blurry from tears.

Squatting outside the building, I felt at the lowest of lows. My ex-boyfriend wasn't even upset that I was broken hearted and alone and smoking like an addict. No, he was living it up with a pretty new girlfriend and his brother and the band by his side.

"Hey, are you okay?"

I glanced up through my bangs, ready to snap at the person, but stopped short. They were dressed like those hooligans I saw back at high school that I would write up for their excessive jewelry, piercings, and multi-colored hair. My instinctive reaction was to scold them for their offensive attire, but given that I've been brushing off whatever I used to do, I decided I would toss this aside as well.

However, I couldn't help the harsh tone my voice took. "Does it look it?"

The boy with the dyed green hair sat next to me, pulling out a cigarette of his own. "I think I've seen you before. Are you in a band?"

I didn't answer. He could go right on thinking I was in a band. It didn't make a difference to me.

The boy lit up with his lighter and eyed me. He probably saw the same thing everyone else did; a scrawny, scowling Limey. Someone that didn't belong or was welcome in this country.

"You in music class?" the boy asked, nodding back at the classroom behind me. Again, I didn't answer. "I swear I've seen you before."

"And All That Jazz," I mumbled. "That was my band."

"I guess I was thinking of someone else," the boy said, rubbing his chin. "The name of the band was totally different. Something with 'Paradise' in it.

That bloody song, I thought to myself. I took a long drag to silence my thoughts.

The boy continued thinking aloud, ignoring my internal pain. "But you said 'was'. You're not in a band anymore?"

"You catch on quick."

The boy ignored me again, pressing on with more questions. "What instruments do you play?"

"For a boy who has yet to tell me anything about himself, you sure want to know an awful lot about me." I sent the boy a glare, blowing a puff of smoke at him.

The boy then gave a sheepish smile. "You're right. The name's Dev."

"Dev?" I repeated. "You look just like the delinquents from my high school."

Dev laughed. "No, I'm not that bad. Zeke is the one to look out for, but Angela keeps him under her thumb."

Before I got the chance to ask what he was babbling about, Dev's mobile went off in his pocket. He pulled it out, not bothering to move as he chattered away. I ignored him, choosing to slip into the bliss of the nicotine. But it wasn't working when Alfred showed up again.

He was walking with just the girl this time just a little ways away from me. Matthew must have branched off from them after lunch. Alfred had gotten his food to go, shoving some fries into his mouth, while the girl blabbered away next to him.

And for a moment, our eyes met. We shared each other's annoyance with those that we were putting up with beside us. Alfred truly looked as if he didn't want to be next to the girl, whereas it was plain as day that I certainly wasn't enjoying my time. But in that same instant, I looked away, ashamed that I had even decided we would share anything again.

Just like that, our moment together for the first time in months was over.

"Hey," Dev said suddenly, the mobile pressed to his chest. "You were in a band, but you're free now. Come with me and we'll hold an audition so you can get into my band."

I looked up from the ground, the cigarette in my mouth. "You're in a band?"

"Yeah. So you wanna join us?" Dev stood up, smiling brightly at me.

Despite his attire contradicting his joyful attitude, Dev wasn't quite what I thought a punk college boy would be like. I was weary of just what his band entailed, but he was much more promising than sitting here alone while I watched my ex saunter off with some bimbo. Just knowing that he was suffering even in the slightest made me smirk sarcastically and stand up.

"Sure."

* * *

"Dev! Where ya been?"

Dev led me to the apartments across the street. Apparently the band met in the basement where the landlord had agreed to let them practice only on Wednesdays. On the way over, Dev had filled me in on the band members. He played the synthesizer and the electric guitar in the band, Zeke was their lead singer and played a secondary electric guitar, and Angela was the drummer. They had been in need of a bassist since their last member graduated.

"Hey! Sorry, but I found a replacement bassist!" Dev waved his hand out towards me.

Zeke had short, choppy black hair with a few piercings on both of his cartilages and a lip ring. My eyes scanned his baggy clothes, the ripped black jacket with its hood over his hair, and defiant posture. He had a guitar slung over his shoulder that was definitely used.

Behind him was a girl with long, straight blonde hair. I believe she had pink streaks in her bangs, but I was too far away to tell. The two stared at me, obvious disdain in their eyes. It was no wonder.

Compared to them I looked like a prince and they were my peasants what with my sweater vest and pressed slacks. Yes, I dressed rather old fashioned for my age. There wasn't a ripped pair of jeans or leather anything in my wardrobe.

"This is Arthur. He was thinkin' of joining the band!" Dev said enthusiastically.

The other two didn't even try to mask their disbelief.

"Hey, I've seen you before," Angela said suddenly. "Weren't you that homo in that jazz band?"

I gave a short nod. "Yeah, but I'm not with them anymore."

"Jazz band?" Zeke strode up to me. "No homo is gonna play jazz in our band."

"Are you deaf? I said I'm not with them anymore. We broke up." I gave the singer a stern stare. "So what if I don't have your hideous clothing or pierce myself to look intimidating? That doesn't make me any less than you in my musical talents."

Zeke turned up his nose at me. "Oh yeah? Well prove it ya Brit."

Before coming to meet the others, I had stopped off at my dorm to get my bass guitar. I pulled it from around my back to hang before me. During summer I had been alone with only music to comfort me. My guitar skills had improved considerably since July.

The band seemed to think so once I stopped playing. Angela had a small smile while Dev beamed from beside her. Zeke had what I considered to be the equivalent of a grin, though it looked more like a grimace. However, he nodded his approval.

"You'll do. Just know we play punk." He tried to sound tough, probably hoping to scare me off.

I gave him my best fake smile I could muster. "My country invented the genre, asshole."

* * *

My life spiraled in another direction soon after that. All ties I had to my past life had been obliterated with the dive I took headfirst into my new lifestyle. Gone were the nice and crisp clothes, shoved aside for my new red and black shirts and ripped pants. Dev gave me his old chunky boots and a few of his chains and belts. Only days into my admission into the band, Angela asked if I would change my ears and hair. I agreed to my ears, but not my hair.

A part of me still clung on to the fact that Alfred had said my hair and eyes were his favorite places on me. While I hated that I held something related to him so dear to me, I was still having trouble quitting him cold turkey as I had done everything else.

Some nights, Alfred would come in my room. He'd lie on me, kissing me passionately and never say a word. I opened my legs to him again, crying out his name. He would make slow and beautiful love to me. Each time he came to me I would beg for him to say my name. He would only thrust into me with those blue eyes over me, watching me. His hands held my head, caressing my cheeks while his tongue licked up my breastbone.

"Alfred!" I cried, reaching my limit.

And he would shriek like my alarm clock in reply. I would bolt up in bed, still alone, but with a freshly wet set of bed sheets. This was the fifth time. All of the dreams were becoming more vivid as time wore on and my self-esteem was shattered every time. He was so close and loving in my dreams, full of passion and vigor, but when I awoke he was gone.

It was a worse than any nightmare I could have ever imagined.

* * *

After December, the new semester started and I found myself sharing a class with Matthew. He was amazed at my change, but said nothing else. I thought back to all the times I had wanted someone to be honest with me and remembered Matthew had been the only one. For that, I decided I would show him some consideration.

One day after class, I invited him for lunch. Matthew agreed. Neither of us spoke for a time; the elephant in the room standing directly behind our chairs.

Suddenly, Matthew reached across the table and grabbed my wrist. "For the record, I'm on your side."

I looked up at him, searching for the truth in his comment. Was he really picking me over his own brother? Well, half-brother. But Matthew had always been the one to tell me, even when I didn't want to hear. He trusted me with vital information from the beginning.

I smiled. "Thank you."

"Alfred moved in with me and he's…he's such a crappy roommate," Matthew said, offering a sheepish smile.

I laughed, nodding as he released my wrist. "Yes, I know. I thought you would be over that fact given you lived with him all of your life before now."

"Yeah, but we never shared rooms. Now I have to put up with his stinky laundry."

"Does he still snore?" I asked.

"Oh, it's terrible!" Matthew laughed.

And just like that, I had found a friend again. A comrade. Despite the fact I had a new band that had become important to me, I never truly felt connected to anyone. Zeke was as charming as a spider and Angela was usually complaining about something political. I didn't care. This country had lost all meaning for me. I was just living here with no reason.

Even Dev hadn't managed to worm his way past my defenses, try as he might. The boy was possessive of me, wanting to come over and hang-out or follow me to any where I went. Unfortunately he learned very quickly that I didn't talk much and could be quite a bore. Not only that, but I preferred solitude these days, only coming out of my dorm for class and band practice.

Matthew, though, had been with me before I had changed. He was the tiny window of what I once was. And while it was a connection to Alfred, I would take it even though that meant it was a constant struggle.

Struggle with the fact that I was still desperately, madly in love with that boy.

* * *

I saw Arthur from down the hallway. I had visited a friend the previous night for a party, drinking myself into a stupor, and passing out on the floor. When I awoke, he told me to go down the hallway to shower since I smelled like beer. I had never been in the sophomore dorms before, but the layout was the same, which was why I found the showers so easily. And found Arthur with just a towel on standing just two doors down from me.

He was skinnier than I last remembered him. When we dated he would sometimes forget to eat as his mind wandered unless he was focused on something. I cooked for him during the summer before we broke up and fattened him up some. But it had all gone away during the months we've been apart.

That wasn't what startled me, though. He had a tattoo. On the backside of his hip. It was an electric guitar that dipped down underneath the towel over his waist. I couldn't help but stare at it in shock. The red and blue of it was a stark contrast to his painfully pale skin. Did he not get out often?

Arthur caught me staring and, for the briefest of moments, his eyes flashed with longing and affection. It quelled instantly, as had mine. This boy may be beautiful and the only person I've loved in my life, but he betrayed me. Snuck around behind my back and kept secrets. Secrets about me. I hated that.

In the months following our break-up, he had vanished. I had thought my anger would be like that of when I was mad with Kiku. I would be fueled with the constant repeat of his betrayal and would never focus on the fact we were once best friends. I had completely counted on that.

But it had only been a day and already I hated waking up alone. I hated not being able to text Arthur and have him call me "luv" or give me a smile only I saw. Have him meld into my arms that were meant only for him. Instead of seeing my anger, I saw my love for him intensify. Only memories of him were in my dreams, the times we held hands, watched movies, talked, walked to nowhere, or made love. I felt like I was going insane.

When I moved in with Matt, I smuggled a picture of Arthur under my pillow. When Matt's not there, I look at it and start to touch myself. I'll admit it. Hey, he's sexy. Even more so with that tattoo.

I shivered at the thought of that tattoo etched into his smooth skin. I still could feel his skin under my fingers if I recalled it hard enough. What would that tattoo feel under them as well?

Good thing I was at the showers. I stepped in, dropped my towel, and turned the water to cold. Yeah, had to take care of that problem down there. My mind wasn't helping as it kept conjuring up images of Arthur naked, under my hands, and arching into my touch. I shook my head and saw that guitar and my tongue going across it. Even a splash of water only made my mind think of Arthur's eyes and his smile.

The door behind me opened and Arthur came in. He said nothing. Just pressed me against the wall and took my tongue into his mouth forcefully. My hands grabbed for that new tattoo instantly, tracing the light ridge of the ink carved into such delicate skin. I gasped as he pulled away and moved to my neck. I hitched Arthur's legs up so they were wrapped around my waist.

I turned around and took him right there against that wall. I fucked him so hard I thought he might bleed, but he made no noise. He didn't even call my name like I was for him. His nails dug my chest like always with his teeth soon following. I moaned, pushing him harder and harder into that wall. Within moments I had come. I just wanted a really quick fuck. The bed was for sweet love making, but the wall was for desperate moments.

Arthur looked up at me with those eyes. Always those beautiful eyes. God, there wasn't a thing about his face I would change, even those eyebrows. Those eyebrows brought attention to his eyes, something I was always more than willing to give.

But the dream vanished. Another wet dream. Another sad fact that my hand was wet with my own cum and not Arthur's. That I was standing alone, ashamed, and broken.

It wasn't the sex I missed. Fuck no, I could get any girl I wanted if I was really that horny. But it would amount to nothing but the ultimate sign I was wrong. Wrong to lose Arthur, to give it all up. And for what? For the fact that he knew I was a bastard, an unwanted child in this world?

Arthur had run after me into the rain that night, calling for me, reaching for me, wanting me. He had always been there by my side, waiting patiently. Offered his arms and his warmth and the only protection I knew. The boy may not be intimidating, no matter how punk he dressed or acted, but he was the only person in this world that fought off my demons.

But I had chased him off; shoved him aside. He had trusted me. I tried to return it, I really did. I was never as strong as my outer appearance made it to be. Only Arthur knew that, but he had never exploited that. So here I stand, alone in this cold shower with Arthur just two showers down and we can't even look each other in the eyes. He probably didn't care anymore, but I was struggling.

Struggling with the fact that I was still desperately, madly in love with that boy. And that I had no idea how to make anything right anymore.

* * *

Hoshiko2's cents: So sorry I didn't update for awhile. I got extremely ill and was bedridden for a few days. I'm still sick from time to time, it keeps coming and going, but I should be all right. Since this chapter came out way later than I expected and the last chapter will be out on kanta's birthday on February 5th, I need to update the last chapters in a much quicker amount of time.

Thank you everyone for your kind words on the FST. For those who have yet to get the second FST, please check here http: / / hoshiko2. livejournal. com/ 139943. html. Also, this chapter has three historical parallels. (Hint: The OCs have nothing to do with it) Good luck. :3


	20. Chapter 19

_A/N_: First time writing from a Canadian's point of view.

* * *

This was probably going to be the worst birthday my brother had ever had. I knew it was the worst one I had ever had. Instead of being out with friends and partying to the fact I was almost twenty, I was stuck in the dorm with Alfred as he slept. But Alfred had pushed away all of his friends, claiming that what happened with me and him was between us, so I felt sort of compelled to stay with him when I knew he was going to be upset. The closer it got to his birthday, the worse his mood became. He didn't take kindly to everyone knowing the condition of his birth, although I found it all really uncalled for. I didn't voice my opinion to my brother. How could I? He was my brother and we had always stuck by each other since we were born.

Normally I just went to Arthur and told him how I felt. But the boy was starting to become less interested in Alfred. This was bad; very bad. Because while Arthur was off being a little punk and forgetting about Alfred, my brother was waking up in the middle of the night crying. I actually preferred the crying, it was when he would start masturbating in his sleep that I would quickly wake him up. All embarrassment aside, the situation with my brother was growing worse.

I was sitting at my desk while talking to some friends online when Alfred sat up and started crying again. Another nightmare. As usual, I got up to comfort him. Secretly, I felt very good knowing I was finally able to take care of my big brother; even if we were only half-siblings. We had never treated one another as such, even after we learned what our mother had done. When father left him, I was there to tell him over and over I still loved him.

"Al," I sighed, rubbing his back. "You've got to go and talk to Arthur about this. It's getting out of hand."

He shook his head, wiping away his tears. "He wouldn't let me. Dude, have you seen how he looks lately? He's no longer my Arthur."

"Al, he's not some_thing_. He's a human being. One that was hurt just as badly as you were, if not more." I crossed my arms. "I mean… Yeah, him hiding things and such was a bad idea, but was it so great of you to just hide our true relationship and your past with dad?"

"You wouldn't understand," Alfred grumbled.

"You're right… I don't understand." My frustration had just boiled to the breaking point. Yup, worst birthday ever. "And if this is how I'd be when I _did_ understand, then I'd rather remain oblivious!"

"What do you mean?" Alfred asked, looking up at me with bright eyes illuminated in the low light from my laptop.

I stood up, glaring at Alfred. Was he really that oblivious? Well, he's always been. I think he hit his head too many times as a kid and in football, but I always tried to give him the benefit of the doubt seeing as he was my brother. But this time, I just couldn't take it anymore. He was choosing his pride and some ridiculous notion that Arthur hates him over being truly happy and in love and giving love back to someone who greatly deserved it. Why? So he could say he was right? Right about what, though? Was it really so great to say you're alone and you hate your life?

After hearing about both of their problems with the other and knowing they were saying it out of spite and not true hatred, I had reached the end. This should never have gone this far.

"You're acting like some little martyr! You both are!" I flung my hands in the air as I shouted, although my shouting was more like a slightly louder whisper. After hearing mom and dad and Alfred fight so much, I vowed I would never speak above a whisper. Loud noises scared me too much. "You both are so stupid! You two love each other and yet you refuse to tell the other person! You think your pain is worse than his was and he thinks the same, when you two shouldn't compare one another!

"Al, you pushed _everyone_ away, saying it was just us again! Just the brothers! And while that worked when we were young, I don't want it! I want to be me and you to be you! I want you to love Arthur freely and not think everyone is out to get you because, guess what, no one gives that much of a damn about you as much as you think! But Arthur did! He still does! He still keeps tabs on you!"

Alfred's eyes widened, his mouth dropping slightly. I wasn't sure if it was from my temper exploding or my letting out that Arthur was still asking about him. Oops.

But I pressed on before he could interrupt me. "He does it because he cares for you! He wants to protect you, but that's wrong! You two need to stop seeing each other as _things_ and see one another as human beings! You can't keep thinking that Arthur's some evil jerk out to sneak around in the shadows and stab you in the back! Yeah, he might be a punk ass these days, but he's still him in his core.

"And Arthur has to stop seeing you as some baby that he has to protect! If he's worried about you and wants to know what the hell is wrong, then he needs to _tell _you he's upset by it and you need to _tell_ him what's actually wrong! No more lying! No more 'protecting' each other because all it's done is DRIVE YOU TWO INSANE! And if you don't hurry, you'll REALLY lose Arthur! He's falling out of love with you!"

I stopped when my head felt dizzy. I can't remember the last time I lost my temper. I don't think I ever did, actually. Alfred was staring at me in disbelief. I sat next to him on the bed, sighing, as my outburst sunk in. Alfred needed to hear what I felt almost as much as Arthur did. However, I had tried to say the same things to Arthur a week earlier, but I couldn't stand up to him. Even before he turned punk, I was scared of him. I never knew what he was thinking. Alfred did. He was the only one that could read Arthur.

"Wow," Alfred said. He looked at me. "Is…he really falling out of love with me?"

"Honestly, I don't think he ever will, but he certainly has stopped asking about you less," I replied. "Maybe he's trying to move on. But I just can't see either of you ever getting over this mess until you confront one another."

Alfred's face paled. "I can't talk to him. He won't listen to me. He won't come back."

"Don't assume, Al." I turned to look at him seriously, ignoring that fear in his eyes. "Even if you two don't get back together, this problem right now will affect you forever. Look how much it's already affected two now. I'd rather think 'Arthur the punk' is just a phase rather than a permanent title. Did you know his parents are furious with him and he hasn't been home since he got his tattoo?"

For a moment, the old spark was back in my brother's eyes. "What? No. What happened?"

I shrugged, not fully knowing all of the details. The day Arthur told me, he smoked an entire pack in an hour and grew ill by nightfall. It was terrible and I worried if he'd have to go see a doctor for his stress. That was the night he first confided in me that he still loved my brother. But that was months ago. He had never uttered a single thing of that topic since.

"They didn't approve of his new lifestyle. Arthur's even thinking of dropping out next semester. He doesn't see a point staying here and wasting his time or money."

Alfred looked at the floor with fresh determination. Or was that anger? I couldn't tell.

"No, this is bad," he mumbled. "They already lost one son…but to lose their Arthur…"

"What?" I leaned over. I hadn't heard him very well.

Alfred shook his head. "Nothing. I just… Matt, I know I still love him… He's been the only person I've trusted, aside from you… But how can I fix anything? How can I talk to him?"

I smiled slightly, relieved that Alfred had finally admitted his affections for Arthur. "The last relationship failed because it lacked something. Communication. Just _talk_ to him, Al. The world won't stop and you won't die and he won't hate you."

It was silent between us for a moment. My laptop's screen went into screensaver mode, taking away our only source of light, so I got up to move the mouse. When I turned around, Alfred was smirking up at me.

"When did you get so smart?"

I flushed as I fiddled with my shirt. "Ah, I, uh. Well…you know… I was worried about you two… I mean, I've been on Arthur's side, but it's not like I ever left yours either. I want you to make up with Arthur. Please."

"Well, when could I? We don't have classes together and he avoids me like the plague."

I tapped my chin, trying to remember if there was any way I could sneak out of a lunch date or when I knew I would catch him on his way to band practice. Wait, band. That's right. "His band is putting on a show really soon! We should go!"

For a moment, Alfred thought. I waited, but started to worry how much he was going to second guess himself. Okay, I hated to do this, but I knew once I pulled this next card out there was no way my brother could back down.

I squared my shoulders and tried to look more upset than I really was. "What kind of hero are you? I thought you would love to just charge in there and sweep Arthur off his feet with your proclamation of love!"

Alfred snapped his head up, eyes wide. He jumped up with fire behind his eyes. Got him. "Shut up! I am so a hero! I will totally go in and get Arthur back!"

I laughed when Alfred whapped me in the face with a pillow. I grabbed my own and we started a pillow fight. For the first time in a year, I felt like I had finally gotten my brother back. While I knew nothing had truly changed just yet, there was progress. I wasn't the one to help him. That was up to Arthur. The two had to come to conclusions about one another.

I only hoped that it would be a good one.

* * *

"We should totally crash that gig!" Gilbert exclaimed, pumping a fist into the air.

I had decided to tell the band of Alfred's going to the performance this weekend. At first, I was against it, but I knew that despite both Alfred and Alfred's brush off of the band, the members were all still in agreement that we were together. We just had to get our leaders back. Every Tuesday we would meet and practice, hoping that someday those two idiots would join us again.

Now it seemed we all had the perfect chance.

"I don't want to crash it," Elizaveta started. "But we should definitely be there as moral support for Alfred. I'm sure he must be nervous."

I nodded. "He is, but I know he wants this. He's convinced you guys are on Arthur's side and Arthur thinks the same thing."

"That's, like, so totally stupid!" Felix exclaimed from where he sat on his stool for his drum set. "We could never pick between them! How could they, like, even think that way?"

Roderich looked up from his tuning of his violin. "It doesn't matter now. Everyone needs to hear the truth. But this is their fight. We'll just be moral support, nothing more."

"Man, I hate this," Gilbert whined. "I miss those two."

"_Si_, I do too," Antonio sighed. "The band hasn't been the same since they left. I'm sure even Francis misses Arthur."

Francis, standing next to me, waved a hand in the air with a sad smile. "_Oui_, of course I do. There is nothing like a good target to pick on like Arthur. And all the sexual tension in the air from those two made every practice so much fun."

"Then let's make a promise!" Elizaveta said as she came forward. "Promise that we'll get our leaders back together!"

I smiled as everyone agreed. It wouldn't be too much later that Friday would be upon us. And once it was, no one knew what would happen. We could all hope and trust that the boys really did love each other.

* * *

Friday night couldn't come soon enough. I almost went insane because of all the stress Alfred was under. He paced the room, muttering to himself, and constantly trying to back out. But I wouldn't budge. He was going. Sometimes I could be just as stubborn. It was a trait we shared, one from our mother.

And so it was with a final shove, Alfred and I arrived at the bar where we knew Arthur's band was playing. Everyone was wearing black and looked way more badass than us, making us stick out like sore thumbs. Arthur's band had yet to start and we didn't want to spend more time inside than we had to. It was full of smoke and gave me the creeps. Alfred, always the tougher one, protected me and kept me close to his side, watching all those stares we received from the punkish looking people that went inside.

"Hey, you're not old enough for this place."

Alfred and I turned quickly. For a moment, I panicked as to who had confronted us, but upon seeing the other band members smiling behind a grinning Gilbert I felt a wave of relief. Surprisingly, Alfred moved behind me.

"What're you guys doing here?" he asked nervously.

"We're here for you!" Elizaveta exclaimed cheerfully. She rushed out and took Alfred's hands in hers. She pulled him away from me. "We want to cheer you on."

"Wait, but I thought you guys were all friends with Arthur," Alfred said slowly, obviously confused. He looked from one member to the other. His gaze stopped on Gilbert. "I thought you'd jump at the chance to go out with him."

At this, Gilbert scrunched up his face. "What? Dude, no. I'm straight, true and true. I just like to pick on the little guy. His reactions are hilarious."

"Prove you're straight," Alfred demanded.

Shrugging, Gilbert pointed at Elizaveta. "We used to date back in middle school. That's why I didn't want her in the band. I knew she'd totally dump her pansy ass boyfriend and come back to me."

"What?"

"Drama would ensue and pretty soon even pretty little Felix over there would want me."

"What?"

By this time, Elizaveta and Felix had Gilbert by the collar, shaking him and pushing him back towards the alley. I scooted away from them, grateful he hadn't picked on me. I feared that Alfred might have punched him in the face. However, Alfred hadn't been convinced just yet.

He looked at Antonio. "And what about you? I know you told Arthur something and then you two were the best of friends."

The Spaniard gave a meek smile, blushing slightly. "_Si_, I did confide in him, but I do not love the boy. I told him that I have a girlfriend in Belgium and I was actually saving up money to see her. That was why I joined the band. Not because I was a hotshot back in Spain. I just didn't want to tell everyone because I wanted to earn it on my own. Gilbert and Arthur were the first to find out. After you left, I told everyone else."

Alfred looked to Francis, desperately hoping to direct his misguided anger at someone. "You?"

Francis turned a slight shade of green, holding his hands up. "_Non_, that's okay. Arthur is all yours, right up to his bushy 'brows."

Feeling rather foolish, Alfred looked to Roderich. The man shrugged with a smile. "It seems your assumptions of us have proven incorrect."

I had only seen Alfred become humble once before that night. And that was to Arthur. I was amazed he apologized, asking for forgiveness, and promising to never repeat his actions again. Elizaveta and Felix, having released Gilbert from their attack, pounced on my brother, hugging him and accepting his apology. The others only smiled and patted him on the back.

Me? I couldn't be prouder.

"Thanks everyone, "Alfred said after a time, his face red. "But…now I have to get my boyfriend back."

"Even if he says no," Roderich started. "You two can always be friends. I'm sure that much is possible despite your differences. You two will always have jazz."

Alfred nodded, gaining his confidence back. He always worked best when he wasn't alone, no matter how much he tried to make the opposite true. For too long he had been alone, working against the world and hoping to rise to the top. But the world was never that kind nor that compliant. Lone rangers always got shot at the end. It was only those that held out a hand and received help that rode off into the sunset with the woman. Or, in this case, an Englishman.

"YEAH! ARE YOU GUYS READY?"

Everyone jumped at hearing a booming voice over a microphone burst out from the bar. The band! We had almost forgotten, so consumed where we in our lovely reunion. Suddenly, a loud _BLANG_ from a guitar shook our teeth. Inside we could hear girls screaming.

"ONE, TWO, THREE! LET'S GO!"

Gilbert and Antonio distracted the bouncers as Alfred and I sneaked inside. Alfred could possibly get away with being twenty-one, seeing as he was only a year away. I was constantly overlooked so even if the man had stopped us, he would never have batted an eyelash at me slinking in. However Felix and Elizaveta were another matter.

Somehow, we managed to all make it inside. The real problem now was to not be killed by the mosh pit of crazed fans that jumped all around us. I felt my body being shoved back and forth, my ribs attacked by elbows, and I think someone might have felt me up at one point. Now I was scared.

I reached around trying to find someone to help me when a lone hand shot out, grabbing me by my arm. I was pulled forward into Francis' chest where he held me close, backing out of the pit. The others had found refugee against the side wall. Alfred emerged a short time later looking far worse than any of us. He instantly pulled me away from Francis, putting distance between us.

"Holy shit, Arthur can _play_!" Gilbert shouted over the loud music.

He was pointing at the stage. Because of our sudden encounter with punk fans, we hadn't paid any attention to the music blasting all around us. We all turned our attention and I could distinctly hear Alfred cursing under his breath. I doubted it was because he was in awe like Gilbert was.

Arthur, always the smartly dressed young man, had gelled spiky hair with a ripped black shirt, tight black pants, and chains hanging off of his belt. His earrings and large belt buckle of the Union Jack glistened from the stage lights. He was holding a red bass guitar, watching as his band mates jumped around the stage. I don't think anyone actually heard the songs as we were just stuck there in a trance.

Where had our nice little English boy gone? I had seen Arthur more than anyone else since the couple had broken up, but even I hadn't seen Arthur like this. He looked so aggressive, practically beating the strings on his guitar as he looked out into the crowd. I was thankful we were all pressed up against the wall.

I felt a hand take mine suddenly. I looked down, seeing Alfred clinging to me. He looked so nervous. I honestly couldn't blame him. He only knew how to handle a slightly angry Arthur that spurted out English none of us knew or one that threw books every now and again. Now it was a year later and Arthur had changed. A lot.

"Alfred," I said, leaning close. "What do you feel right now?"

"Terrified," Alfred bluntly replied.

I shook my head. "No. I meant for Arthur. Do you love him?"

"Yes!" Alfred looked me in the eyes and I knew he was telling the truth. He just had to get over that initial fear.

"THEN JUMP!"

In retrospect, maybe pushing my brother out to be eaten alive by the mosh pit was a bad idea, especially since he lost his balance and was instantly swept away into the sea of bodies. I think I heard him call for help, but Francis held onto me for dear life.

I looked from the crowd to the stage, hoping Arthur would see Alfred. But he was moving back and forth with that green haired guitarist. There had been rumors that the two were sleeping together, but whenever I asked Arthur, he would look disgusted by the idea and deny it. Still, there was an obvious connection between them.

The boy bounced off of Arthur and moved to the other side of the stage, coaxing on the girls in front. Arthur looked back out at the crowd. He enjoyed playing, that much was true, but he didn't seem to be nearly into the songs as much as the others. The black haired singer was ranting about "The Man" and the government, but I didn't see that same passion for hating society in Arthur as much as the other three. He just seemed to be there, enjoying the music and not the words.

Then, he seemed to freeze up. His eyes were locked on one particular spot and I knew then he had seen the one person in the bar that wasn't in black and red and oozing of pure delinquency. Well, maybe back in high school Arthur would have thought so. But now that Arthur had joined the big boys and seen what "hooligans" really were, I doubt he thought much of Alfred's disrespectful uniform anymore.

The song ended abruptly, it wasn't very long, and the crowd broke out into applause. From beside me, Gilbert hollered his approval. We looked at him, but he just jumped up and down like the others in the crowd.

"Thank you!" the singer yelled into the microphone. "Yeah and for our next song-"

There was a high pitch squeal over the speakers and suddenly Arthur's voice flooded the bar. He had grabbed the stand from his band mate, taking center stage. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I need to say something."

A few girls shrieked, their hands reaching out towards Arthur. I think some girl shouted for him to marry her. But Arthur didn't pay any of them any attention. He was still focused only on that one spot where a blonde cowlick stood out in the sea of darkness.

"…A year ago today the man I loved hurt me and left me," Arthur started. For a moment, he looked ready to just flee, but something in him compelled him forward. "He took my trust and destroyed it. He's here tonight and I have something I want to say to him."

Arthur pulled his guitar off from him, putting it on his stand. As he moved back towards the synthesizer that stood in the back, the crowd began to murmur as to who exactly this mystery man could be. Arthur took his spot by the instrument, took a deep breath, and pulled the microphone to him.

"This is a cover and isn't what we normally play… But I want you to hear this."

Arthur's lovely voice suddenly silenced everyone. He pressed his fingers onto the keys with effortless beauty as we all knew, but had forgotten. It had been too long since we were captivated by his skills. For some reason, that man really thought he couldn't sing and was embarrassed when we drew attention to it. Whatever notion he had was thrown to the wind as he ignored his old fears of the stage and singing, letting his heart out, sharing it with everyone. Finally.

_I never knew perfection 'till I heard you speak and now it kills me just to hear you say the simple things. Now waking up is hard to do. Sleeping's impossible too. Everything's remindin' me of you, but what can I do?_

_It's not right, not okay, to say the words that you say. Maybe we're better off this way. I'm not fine. I'm in pain! It's harder every day. Maybe we're better off this way. It's better that we break._

By this time, Arthur's band had lightly joined in with a soft drum accompaniment and gentle guitar rift. Arthur kept singing, his eyes tearing up as he pressed on.

_Saw you sitting on the lawn. You're fragile and you're cold, but that's all right. The lie these days is getting rough. Knocked you down and beat you up. But it's just a rollercoaster anyways! Yeah!_

Arthur suddenly kicked the chair behind him as if to emphasize his statement. My eyes watched as it fell, but then noticed something in the crowd. That cowlick from before was steadily making its way towards the stage. The girls parted, letting Alfred reach almost the very front. By this point, I think everyone knew exactly who had dumped Arthur.

At this point, Arthur was slamming his hands onto the piano. He was climaxing at the song, his words sounding more desperate and wobbly from the tears choking him.

_I'm not fine! And I'm in pain! It's harder everyday! …Maybe we're better off this way. It's better that we break, baby._

Arthur stopped instantly, the crowd waiting on their breath. He quickly grabbed the microphone and moved to stand back in center stage. He looked right in my brother's eyes. An unspoken conversation happened in a split second. Whatever was said, it pushed Arthur to call him out.

"So what do you think, Alfred? Do you think it's better this way?"

When Alfred made no movement and said nothing, Arthur dropped the microphone.

And left the stage.

* * *

* * *

_Hoshiko2_'s cents: I wanted to be super evil and just end it here, but I'm not that terrible. The last chapter will be up Saturday. For the record, this takes place on Alfred's 20th birthday. Alfred and Arthur have been separated for a year now.

The song Arthur sings is "Better That We Break" by Maroon 5. For those who picked up the FST (see last chapter), then you got to hear it before it was performed. For those not interested in the entire CD, head on over to Youtube.

There are no historical parallels this time around, but Matt did make mention of ones in the past. If you need help with them, look at his talk with Al at the start of this chapter. And with this chapter marks the end of the contest. Please PM me with your answers and I will announce the winner come Saturday (my time).

Until then! =3


	21. Chapter 20

_A/N_: To all who wanked last chapter, too bad. I wrote this chapter months ago.

* * *

I stormed into the backstage are, kicking the lights and curtains and anything else in my way. My eyes were stinging from the tears threatening to burst. I had always told myself that if Alfred were to ever appear and at least try to seem like he's making an effort to talk to me again, then I would give him a chance. I gave him that chance just now and he didn't take it.

He said nothing.

I could hear my band mates rushing behind stage after me and the crowd outside getting loud from my abrupt departure. I hastily wiped at my face even though I knew they were dry. A hand was placed gently on my shoulder.

"Arthur," Dev started. "Dude, forget him. He's a dick."

"I know," I mumbled, but not believing it.

Well, I believed it, but I didn't want to. I just couldn't. What happened to my sweet boy with that warm smile and welcoming arms? When I sang, I never looked out into the crowd, but I didn't have to. I knew Alfred wasn't really there. He had changed. He was different. Sure, I had changed as well, but mainly on the outside. Inside, I was still a broken boy that preferred to stay away from everyone. Everyone but Alfred.

And what of him? He hadn't changed on the outside, still wearing baggy clothes and bright colors and sweatshirts. But I could tell without him speaking how much he had changed on the inside. Before, he would never have let me walk away. He would have picked fun at me or said some witty remark to make me lash out at him. Then laugh, apologize, and kiss away my anger.

"Arthur?" Dev asked tentatively.

I shrugged him away and suddenly felt my walls reach towards the sky. No. I didn't want anyone else. I didn't even want Alfred.

"I need to be alone!" I cried, pathetically running away.

Perhaps I was over reacting, but in reality, I was broken beyond repair. And the only person who could fix it had said nothing when I gave him one last chance.

* * *

"Arthur!"

I stopped short as three pairs of eyes turned on me, scowling at my sudden burst into the backstage. When Arthur left, I felt the ground crumble underneath me. When we broke up last year, it wasn't the end. _This_ is the end. Or it will be if I don't reach out to Arthur and do what I should have done two years ago; be honest with him.

"Where's Arthur?" I asked, breathless. I had barely managed to wade through the sea of angry girls that refused to let me get backstage. "Please, I need to see him."

The boy that Matt had told me was rumored to be sleeping with Arthur stepped forward. He had green hair and a rather vicious look on his face. I didn't back down as he strode up to me.

"Why? You broke his heart. He's our friend. You certainly are not," he spat.

Keep calm, I told myself. This guy is just some punk and you'd do the same if someone had just hurt Arthur.

"I am his friend! I'm his fucking boyfriend!" I exclaimed. "Please! I have to see him! He needs to listen to me!"

"Why should I tell you anything?" The boy grabbed my shirt, his eyes locked on mine. He looked so hurt and confused, not angry. "Why are _you_ the only one Arthur will listen to? Why does he still love you?"

Oh… So that's it. I frowned, feeling sorry for the boy suddenly. I put my hands on his wrists gently. Earnestly I said, "I'm sorry… I love him too… But please…"

For a moment, the boy stared at me and I stared right back. Behind him, I could feel the tense watch from the other band members. The boy holding my shirt released me and stepped back. I could hear a slight waver to his voice as he choked on what I really hoped wasn't tears. Shit, I could not believe I made two guys tear up on the same day.

"He went that way," the boy mumbled, looking away finally.

I gave a hurried thanks and rushed towards the exit. Behind me I think I heard the guy actually start crying. Okay, that's not cool. Man, I was losing my resolve fast. I was never coming back to this stupid place. First I was embarrassed to hell by Arthur and that fucking song and now I made some punk ass guy cry because he loved my boyfriend.

Yeah, my boyfriend. I was not going to give this up. Friendship be damned. I couldn't be near Arthur without wanting to stand close to him, envelop him in my arms, and see only his smile. When was the last time he actually did smile? I can tell you right now, he didn't do it often with those happy-go-lucky guys back there. No, he needed me. No one else could get that grumpy Briton to smile but me. And I needed him.

I had run all the way back to campus, my mind bent on getting to Arthur's dorm. I took a short-cut through the music wing, my footsteps echoing in the white empty hallways. Somehow, I was reminded of when Arthur and I had run down the hallway when he graduated and we both had the same desire to kiss against those lockers one last time. And this was the music wing; the same place where Arthur and I shared the first time we became close, expressed our deepest feelings, and made love on a piano.

My mind whirled as so many memories came back. How could I just throw them away? Throw away such a wonderful boyfriend; a wonderful person? I must have been an idiot.

Just as I was about to burst out the doors on the other side of the building I heard a loud crash from a piano inside one of the practice halls. I stopped quickly and heard more crashes. I heard loud, angry shouts that definitely didn't sound American. Gulping, I reached out to grasp the door handle.

* * *

Arthur wailed on the piano, expressing all of his anger until he thought the piano would break under his hands. He then kicked the seat behind him, picked it up, and seriously thought about throwing it at the door when he stopped short. There was a blonde American standing in the doorway. He put the chair down, mouth slightly agape.

"Alfred?" he breathed.

"Arthur…" Alfred gulped.

For a moment, the two boys just stared at one another, but then shyness overtook Arthur. He wasn't sure why. The anger that raged through his veins should have overtaken him and he should've wailed on the boy like he did the poor piano, but it was as if he had first gotten into his relationship with Alfred all over again. He couldn't even look the boy in the eyes.

Somehow, though, he willed himself to get past the fact he was still quite attracted to the blonde and his deep longing to just see the boy again. He had to talk. Alfred had finally come for him. This was the moment he had been waiting an entire year for. Everyone had.

"Why are you here?" he asked, trying to keep his voice steady, though it came out almost like a whisper.

"Arthur…" Alfred wasn't sure where to start. So much was on the table, like a feast of hurt words, unanswered questions, and unwanted ugly facts. But if Alfred wanted anything he had to start somewhere. Better to start with the most painful one of all. "Why…did you betray my trust?"

Of all the reactions Alfred was expecting of Arthur, him laughing was not it. Arthur stopped suddenly when he saw the bewildered look on the other boy's face. "Oh, you're serious? Alfred, there was no trust to betray. You _never_ trusted me!"

Alfred started, "What? Yes I did! And besides, it was _you_ who didn't trust _me_! You went behind my back all this time and never just came out and asked!"

"Oh right!" Arthur nodded, sarcastically, his hands on his hips. "Because if I asked, you would just spill your guts! No, instead you had to keep on thinking the whole world is against you! Well guess what, you bloody Yank, the world ISN'T about just you! In this world there are some people out there that have had JUST as bad a life as you! I may not have been beaten or born out of marriage, but I watched my own brother DIE and was neglected by my parents who, by the way, disowned me because they think I'm some hooligan!"

"Well look at you, Arthur!" Alfred threw his hands out towards at him. "You _do_! You used to write me up for when my pants hung too low, but now you have a tattoo and piercings and way too tight of pants! What the hell happened to you?"

"I killed that worthless little pathetic idiot that was inside me," Arthur growled. "I had to. I had to become everything that wasn't."

"Wasn't what?"

"Wasn't a person you could love!" Arthur began to cry, but his fury was quite evident in his eyes as he continued to stare at Alfred. "You put me and everyone else on this platform so far away from you, thinking we're not worthy enough to get close to you! To get to know you and understand you! Alfred, you put this mask on and for whom is it for? Your dad? Me? You?"

Arthur wiped away tears, still going strong. The pain hurt and he didn't know if Alfred would flee. He had to keep hope. Hope this would end and they could start anew.

Arthur pressed on. "I didn't run from you when I learned what you were. You did. From yourself." Alfred tensed, clenching his fists and inhaling sharply. Still, he stood. And Arthur continued to talk. "No one's pain is worse than the others. We all think differently and handle pain in our own way. But don't think I'm weak. That I'd leave you over your mother's unfortunate circumstance."

Alfred looked down. "If you hate me so much, then why did you point me out like that back there? Why are you talking to me now? If all I do is fuck up and-"

"Oh shut up!" Arthur shouted. "God, you used to be so tough and strong and I was attracted to that! Now you're some sniveling little baby!"

"Because of you!" Alfred yelled. "Because you betrayed me! And don't say I didn't trust you! Yeah, I may not have gotten around to telling you the worst part of me and shit, but I did tell you other things! My fears, my hopes, what really made me happy! I told you I loved you and that I even liked you! I had never told anyone I liked them before you!"

Arthur whirled his hands around, unimpressed. "That doesn't mean you trusted me."

"It's fucking good enough for me," Alfred snarled. He got closer to Arthur and the boy instinctively flinched away. "Isn't it enough for you that I even fucking tried?"

"Don't be like that to me! I trusted you and even waited for you!" Arthur tried to push Alfred away, but the two just stood firm, staring at each other, trying to not back down. "You didn't do a damn thing!"

"So that entire year of us being together was totally me not doing 'a damn thing', huh? Fuck, Arthur! Who made all the first moves? Who even had the gull to ask you out or set it up so we could even get close? I protected you!"

"Protected me from what? I am not some bloody princess, Alfred! If I saw my own brother's death and lived I think I can handle my own boyfriend telling me he's some bastard son and he was beaten by his father!"

"Well then you could have told me that your brother died and that you knew all that shit about me instead of having my own brother keep tabs on me!"

"Well excuse me! I was trying to get over my own pain!"

"Well so was I!"

"Well all right!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

By this point, both boys were exhausted and slightly light headed from all of the yelling. They kept staring at each other, no longer furious, but still so very stubborn. There was still no apology said between the two, but it wasn't needed anymore. They had put everything out. But was it enough to heal their yearlong pain of suffering and separation?

In an instant, Alfred pulled Arthur by the wrist and had him flush up against his chest. Arthur stumbled, caught off guard. "You want me to be tough and strong again, then fine. I will."

Suddenly, Alfred was there. Everywhere. Hugging, kissing, savoring Arthur, and whispering apologies. Arthur replied with frantic kisses and hugs, reaffirming his love for him. The one that never left. The one that had only grown from their year apart.

"Don't hate yourself," Alfred said. "You're beautiful and smart and amazing."

Arthur pulled away to smile up at his beloved. "That's exactly what I see in you."

"I'm sorry."

"As am I," Arthur sighed at finally hearing that overdue apology. "We're quite ridiculous. Here we were thinking our secrets were protecting the other, when it only tore us apart."

"Even so, our pain couldn't take the memory of you away from me," Alfred murmured, his lips resting against Arthur's forehead. "I still remembered everything."

"Then you were not alone, luv." Arthur brushed Alfred's hair behind his ear. He kissed his neck, longing for the taste of his skin.

Arthur soon found himself lost in the dream that was Alfred. His soft skin drew him, promising him relief from all those lonely nights with just himself, that photo of Alfred under his pillow, and his hand. His hands seized Alfred's back and he responded. No longer did they have to be alone.

"Does this mean it's make-up sex time?"

Arthur nodded vigorously. He wanted to dominate Alfred, show him what he missed all these months. Alfred had other plans.

He promptly picked the smaller boy up under his arse, making Arthur cry out on an undignified manner, and slamming him onto the piano. Always with the bloody piano, Arthur thought. Boy must have had a fetish.

Arthur made no move to stop him. There was no foreplay. How could there be? The boys had foolishly ached for this moment for a year now. Their pride and fear had been the death of their relationship. Arthur, in his fear and distrust in himself. Alfred, with his instability with everyone.

"Don't leave me," Arthur whispered as Alfred slowly penetrated him. Alfred gripped at Arthur's hips, finding that tattoo and squeezing lightly.

Arthur's legs opened for him, spreading his body across the piano. Alfred's hands held him under the knees. Somehow in the haze of their sex, he managed a steady stare at Arthur.

"I won't."

Arthur believed him. As Alfred called Arthur's name so loud it echoed off of the walls, clung to his thighs, and came fully inside, it was all the proof Arthur needed to know it would be just fine. Better then fine.

* * *

"So I guess we'll have to get the band back together," Alfred started. He lie under me as I twirled my finger along his chest. We had hurried back to my dorm room shortly before the music class came in for their lesson. I did feel bad I had first beaten the poor instrument to death and then the two of us had ended up shagging soon afterwards on top of it.

I gave Alfred an inquisitive look. He frowned slightly. "I mean, if you want to."

I sighed. "I suppose that would be good. We had both thrown away our old friends."

Alfred looked towards the window. "You know… After Matt told me what happened and such… I got really mad at him… Like really mad. We didn't talk all the rest of the summer."

I raised an eyebrow. "Really? That must have been very difficult for you."

"It was…," Alfred started. "Really hard… I mean…before you there was only Matt. So…seeing that he broke it and told you… It really hurt."

"In his defense, Matthew did it to protect you." I gave Alfred a small smile. "He's just as guilty as we are."

"Yeah," Alfred sighed, looking back at me. "I think that's why everything went to hell so fast. Man, we were so perfect at first. The troublesome jock falling in love with the stodgy studious guy and bonding over jazz. Sounds like some terrible story or something, you know? Ones a girl like Elizaveta would read."

We laughed together for a moment and I enjoyed the fact that I finally was doing so for the first time in a year. Suddenly, I remembered something.

"Happy birthday, Alfred," I said, caressing his face. "This is my third Fourth of July and I must say it's my favorite so far."

Alfred beamed back. "Yeah, last year's kinda blowed, didn't it?"

"Two out of three isn't so bad." I kissed his chest slowly. "I hope to enjoy many more with you… But Alfred, we have to promise. No more lies, no more secrets, and from now on we say what we truly feel. Okay?"

"Okay," Alfred said with a smile. He sealed it with a kiss. "As long as you call your parents and get back with them. I'm sure they didn't mean to neglect you and stuff. Come on, man, I know you miss them."

I flushed, looking away. "Of course I miss them… How could I not…? It's bad enough I lost Peter, but my entire family…?"

Alfred took my hand, kissing away the memories of my parents staring at me in horror and throwing me from the house, calling my brothers and telling them I was no longer their sibling, and the emptiness of returning to my dorm with no one. I smiled slightly, happy that it wasn't the case anymore.

"I hope you know…all of this isn't fixed," I started, hating to rain on this joyous moment of our reunion. "We still have so much to fix."

Alfred nodded. "I know… And I'm willing to stay by your side as we heal ourselves…and help one another. Remember when we got into that fight because you got jealous of some chick? I said we should be each other's strengths, remember?"

"Strength, though, does not mean we hide things and assume the other doesn't want to hear of our problems," I said sternly. My inner-lecturer was coming back. To be honest, it felt rather pleasant to have it back.

Alfred nodded. "I know… I'm just not used to it. Dude, even when I was with only Matt, I still never told him half the stuff you know. He doesn't know I wanna go into space or that I have your doll from all those years ago or even what my favorite food is."

I frowned. "If your own brother doesn't know that you're obsessed with hamburgers then he truly is an idiot. Of which I don't think he is, so I think you're wrong on that aspect."

Alfred chuckled. "Yeah. I hope so. I like to think Matt and I are close."

"You are. I heard from him you try to keep him and Francis from dating." At this, Alfred inhaled slowly and bit his lower lip. He did not look pleased. I laughed, shaking my head. "You can't keep them apart."

"I don't like it," Alfred said flatly. "Francis is such a… And Matt's more like a… And they're just…"

I put my hand on Alfred's chest, unable to stop laughing at how cute he had become. So jealous and protective of his brother. "This is their relationship, Alfred. Let them deal with it. We have to do that with ours from now on too. We should never include Matthew in any more of our fights. And next time we do have a fight, don't break up me…or punch me."

Alfred kissed my jaw gently. "I'm sorry… I…I need to learn to control my temper. It's just…my dad and…"

I held up a hand to stop him. I was being so gentle again. I had missed it. Being tough and cold and emotionless could only last so long with me. Despite how deep I had gotten into this punk chapter of my life, I could feel myself slowly going insane from just how detached I had truly become. Because while I had changed into someone Alfred couldn't love again, I had also become someone even I couldn't love.

"You don't need to tell me," I whispered. "By the way… I hope you don't mind that I'm still going to be pretty punk for awhile."

Alfred thought about it a moment before caressing my tattoo. "Does this mean you'll get another one 'cause I have to admit this is damn hot. Like shit, if you get one more, can it be on your shoulder blade or something?"

I laughed. "I got this tattoo while drunk, actually. My parents don't know about it and I'd like to keep it that way. Besides, if there is anyone to get any tattoos it should be you."

"And ruin my perfect form?" Alfred flexed, drawing my eyes instantly to his biceps. "I don't think so."

I shifted over, grabbing his arm and kissing the smooth skin. Oh God I missed that. "You know…sometimes you remind me of Peter… I wager you and him would have gotten along quite well had you two met."

Alfred laughed. "We so totally would! We'd play jokes on you, laugh as you got mad..."

"Yes, and all that jazz."

* * *

* * *

_Hoshiko2_'s cents: This is the end. I'm really sad to be stopping this series, but at the same time, I've run out of fuel on it. Thank you so much to everyone. Really. Your reviews and favorites and subscriptions and long drawn out conversations on the sides have made me feel so much more confident in my writing ability. I will be continuing my writing and there will be a side story (think of it as an epilogue) I'll be uploading next week for the USUK Sweethearts Week over at LiveJournal. Don't worry, I'll be posting all of my entries here for those who hate the site.

Sadly, no one sent in their entries for the contest. I was really surprised, actually. Quite a few of you expressed an interest earlier in the series when I first mentioned it. I guess it was too hard? Well, I'll give some and let you figure out the rest.

This series basically was the entire time before the American Revolution leading up to it with sprinkles of WWII in it. The first four chapters don't have any as I never intended for the story to be this long, but there were more later on. For instance, Arthur getting beaten up and Alfred saving him is a call to WWII when America came to England's aid after the Blitzkrieg. Kiku and Alfred's fight is Pearl Harbor and then later the Atomic Bomb/end of the war. The sudden jealousy Arthur had and laying down laws are the taxes England put on Colonial America. Obviously the break-up was the end of the Revolution. The isolation of Alfred and Matt was the Monroe Doctrine followed by the Splendid Isolation with Arthur after the break-up. Arthur turning punk is an obvious one, but also his isolation is canon as it states England was very irritable and isolated after his heart was broken by a special person. There is much more, but that's it. =3

If you like me enough, please look forward to more of my stories. I'll be starting new updates come Tuesday. Monday is my birthday and today is a very special birthday. Kanta, my dear, this fanfic is now your Christmas gift, New Years gift, and birthday gift. Happy 20th sweetie.

And on to the next story! =3


	22. Epilogue

_Three years later._

My alarm clock went off, bringing me out of my dreams. Lying in bed I looked at the window across the room from me. It was early in the morning still, but I was always wide awake. I sighed deeply as I thought back to the past three years.

All of my problems didn't dissolve overnight. Alfred and I may have gotten back together, but we still fought. Sometimes more often than other days that resulted in the band suggesting that we seek couples therapy, but I refused. We would figure this out on our own. That's how we came up with "time-outs". For awhile we would be apart, calm down, and return to sort out our feelings. So far it's worked and I find we're spending less time on time-outs and more time together.

Three years. Yes, I suppose we had come a long way. I had already graduated college a year ago and Alfred was getting ready in a few months to do the same. My job at the local community college was only a stepping stone until I became a full-fledged college English professor. Yes, that meant my punk days were over, however I still listened to the music quite often and my tattoo remained, by popular demand (from Alfred only). Sometimes I would slip back on my piercings, change into my old clothes, and sneak off to a punk event. And if Alfred ever got mad at me for coming home smelling like drugs and alcohol, I took him out to a jazz concert to make it up to him.

One of the problems that caused us to rip and tear apart was because we were constantly by each other's sides. Then we were separated for a year. Now that we were back together, we had changed drastically. We weren't sure how to function while keeping our new hobbies. But Alfred had been kind and agreed that I could remain with my new band and do my own thing and I, in return, agreed as well. What right did either of us have, any way, to say the other couldn't do what they liked?

While I had become a punk, Alfred had become involved with counseling. He took the job over one summer when I brought home a flyer of counseling for youths abused by their families. Amazingly, Alfred went. When he came home, he was so inspired, he actually changed majors. His dream of becoming an astronaut had changed to him becoming a hero for children.

"I don't mind," he had said. "I think I might have hated being in space anyways. Mainly because you wouldn't be there and we'd be separated for months at a time. Not cool."

With this sudden new track in his life, Alfred had found the courage within him to come out even more to me. He sat me on the couch one evening and told me how he had found out he was a child born out of marriage.

"Do you remember in seventh grade when we had to take those DNA tests and learn about traits and genes and stuff?" Alfred had started. I nodded, vaguely recalling the first year I was in America. "Well, when we did it, my blood sample wasn't the same as my parents. At first we brushed it off. But then when we did the gene tests, a lot of my genes only matched up to my mom's and had random ones that were not like my father's. As the testing went on, my dad grew really nervous while my mom tried to keep me from telling him anymore results.

"Then one day, my dad took me to the hospital and had some official tests done. That's when he found out. At first, he threw the Bible at me and called me a sinful child, so that's how I kinda lost faith. How we all did. Then he beat my mom. It got really bad some nights… A lot of times I ran away from home… But Matt would always find me. That's why I can't stay mad at him… He was always the only one by my side…"

By this time, Alfred had begun to cry and I merely held him. It felt nice to comfort my boyfriend, to finally feel that we had met and come to the same conclusion. _Trust_. _Love._ We could both honestly say that it was on the same level for each other.

But this didn't mean all of our problems dispersed, either.

Slowly I smiled. I wasn't scared of knowing not everything was perfect. It never would be. Not for anyone else, at least. But it was perfect for me. I had the love of my life, a supportive band, wonderful friends, and my family back. Well, they had never left. My parents and I had sat down and I told them how I felt neglected by them all these years. Alfred was there, holding my hand, while I cried and told them how alone they made me feel. My mother cried and held me while my father paced. For awhile, I thought perhaps he hated me. As it turned out, later that night after Alfred had gone back to our apartment, my father sought me out.

He came into my room and held up a picture of me and Peter when we were young. He then told me of how I had never once let him down. And that Peter was always with him. Therefore, he never lost a son, even by the hands of his own. We cried and healed and moved on. Life always had that convenient habit of never staying still.

"Arthur?"

I rolled over onto my back, turned my head to the side, and smiled. A sleepy Alfred lifted his head from the pillow. His arm was lightly wrapped around my waist. He yawned before nuzzling into my neck with a loopy smile on his warm face.

"Good morning," I mumbled. Alfred caressed my face and I always leaned in to the touch. "Did you sleep well?"

Alfred nodded before shifting over so he was resting his head on my heart. I looked up at the ceiling, closing my eyes. Alfred had begun swirling his fingers across my bare chest. We were still quite naked as our romp from the night before had left us little energy to even cuddle like we always did. But once I realized I was still naked, Alfred had realized it too.

"Hey…Arthur?" Alfred started.

I shook my head, sitting up with a hand on his head. "No, Alfred. We have a wedding to go to, remember?"

"Oh yeah," Alfred smirked. "Well then what are we waiting for?"

As I watched Alfred head to the bathroom, I thought of when we could possibly be married. I had been thinking of it more and more for a solid year now. Perhaps I should kick myself in the arse and ask Alfred myself. However, I was still unsure if we were ready. When could you tell? I asked my parents, but they avoided the question and my brothers said I was still too young to even think of marriage. Funny considering all three were married and Shane wasn't much older than me.

We moved from the apartment to the car and met up with everyone at the reception hall. The same uniforms were on as always and nothing had changed. Well, aside from Francis and Matthew were still dating and Elizaveta had broken up with Roderich. To date Gilbert. Yeah, that threw us all for a spin too.

Roderich was a good sport and agreed to stay in the band, as long as Gilbert and Elizaveta didn't do anything. Well, more Elizaveta because telling Gilbert not to do something was impossible. Still, we were a team and made sure that nothing got out of hand. The band couldn't stand to be broken apart anymore.

My other band had, though, but we remained friends. Dev, nice guy that he was, slowly started turning more Goth than punk, which didn't sit well with the others. I could care less, so long as the guy was still my friend and wasn't a douche like Zeke had always been. He only got worse after I got back together with Alfred. I guess I missed the memo that Dev had a crush on me and I was some "bastard" who ignored his feelings for months. Yeah I felt bad, but my heart knew where it wanted to be and Dev understood that.

But I digress. Thinking of the past wasn't what I needed to do right now. The band and I had walked into the reception hall and were setting up. Judging by the amount of tables and chairs, it was a rather small congregation. We had been told shortly before the guests arrived that this was actually for a homosexual couple, to which Alfred and I turned our stares at Elizaveta.

"What?" she asked sheepishly, though that smile she was hiding behind her sheet music said otherwise. "I just thought it would be cute…"

Shaking my head, I warmed up on the piano to try and hide my blushing smile. The others began to set up as well, but Alfred scooted over to sit beside me.

"So, what're you doing after this?" Alfred asked casually.

I glanced at him with a raised eyebrow. "You know what I do. I have to make a lesson plan for Monday's class. Just a quiet evening in. Why?"

Alfred shrugged, finishing putting together his saxophone. He let a few notes play to see if it was ready. "Just wondering. Can I come too?"

I scoffed. "Alfred, we live together. I think you're more than welcome to join me in writing up another English lesson."

With a beam and a chaste kiss on my cheek, Alfred thanked me. I blushed when he called me "sexy" and swatted at him to get off of my piano bench. The guests were here now, but we weren't scheduled to start until the newlyweds arrived. For some reason, I was starting to get very excited. And nervous. Mainly because Alfred and I were slated to perform a duet. Now if it were on the piano and saxophone I wouldn't be so anxious. There were many times back at our apartment that we played together, especially after a fight. Jazz truly was the way we came together, stayed together, and continued to love together.

No, we weren't playing our instruments. Unfortunately, the band had coaxed me into singing. While Alfred was usually God awful whenever he sang some other ridiculous pop song that came on the radio, and he knew every single one, but when he was serious and actually put in effort, he was very good.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," Francis said smoothly, his voice capturing everyone's attention. "I have the pleasure to announce the new married couple has arrived!"

The audience applauded. I looked over in time to see the couple arrive. They were two women that looked very happy. I felt myself smiling, imagining myself in that position. I glanced at Alfred who was also smiling and clapping. The boy that was always so slow with everything and oblivious to my subtle hints of wanting him to pop the question.

"Arthur?" I looked up to see Alfred holding his hand out to me. "You ready to go?"

I took his hand as we went up to the microphone. There were two provided and we took one each. I introduced us to the audience and gave a quick congratulation to the couple.

"Our first song is regarded by most as a break-up song, but we don't see it that way," I continued. "We actually see it as a song about the trials of love, but nothing can take love away from you."

Roderich, who had moved to play the piano, began to play with Elizaveta, Matthew, and Felix backing him up. Then Antonio and Gilbert came in strong with their horns. I was lucky that I didn't have to start first. I could sing punk music all I wanted, maybe even do a few screaming songs, but love songs? Those always made me weak in the knees and feel horribly embarrassed.

"The way you wear your hat," Alfred sang. I smiled as he said these lines always made him think of me. "The way you sip your tea… The memory of all that… No, no, they can't take that away from me."

Now it was my turn. I told myself to not be shaky and like always, when I got stage fright I turned to look at Alfred. "The way your smile just beams."

Of course Alfred had to smile at this part. These lines were just like him, or so he self-proclaimed. I gave a snarky smirk as I turned away from him. "The way you sing off-key."

"I ain't flat, the band's sharp," Alfred interjected.

"The way you haunt my dreams," I continued singing. I could feel Alfred smiling behind me. "Oh no they can't take that away from me. We may never, never meet again on this bumpy road to love."

"Still I'll always… Always keep the memory of. The way you hold your knife."

"The way we danced 'till three." I had turned back to face Alfred, smiling with a secretive blush at that double meaning sentence. He took my free hand in his, entwining our fingers.

Now we sang in harmony together. "The way you changed my life. Oh no they can't take that away from me."

"Not without a lawyer, anyways," I said with a smirk.

There was a music interlude and the two of us began to dance together. The audience had joined in long ago, changing it to be like a slightly swing dance along with us. The married couple was happily enjoying dancing close just like Alfred and I were. He twirled me once, but not so much to make me feel too feminine. Dancing became a norm with us as well. Nothing like a cold night, some soft jazz, and my boyfriend holding me close while we danced. Yes, we had grown a little sentimental as we grew older.

The song continued and we reached our final climax of the song. Gilbert and Antonio let out the last notes on their horn and the band came to a full stop together. The audience applauded, Alfred and I gave a short bow, and we returned to our instruments. Or I thought Alfred had, but as I took my seat at the piano, I heard Alfred's voice over the speakers again.

"Thank you everyone! Thank you so much!" I turned in my seat to look at him, wondering what he could possibly be up to. "I bet some of you could tell that Arthur and I are dating. We have been now for about three years."

The audience gave a polite applause and I had to look away. Turning to the band didn't help; they only gave me cheeky smiles and clapped too. Alfred continued talking and I had to resist the urge to yank the loud mouth away from the microphone. Now was not the time to jabber away.

"The two of us kind of have a tradition of surprising the other while up on stage. He got me about three years back and I have yet to return anything." Alfred smirked at me, removing the microphone from the stand. He started walking over to me. "So, um, Arthur, I have something I want to say."

I blinked up at him, wondering what he was going to say now. Out of my peripheral view I could see Elizaveta quickly scrambling for a camera I didn't know she had tucked away in her uniform. My face began to heat up as everyone else had turned their full attention to me. Damnit, Alfred, you know I hate these things.

"Arthur, you've been my best friend and the only man I've ever cared for enough to tell…everything to," Alfred started. Oh God, he was serious. My heart sped up as an inkling of what was happening started to settle in. "So…um…damnit, I'm… I'm not good with words…"

I honestly, from this point, do not recall anything else that happened. Alfred dropped to a knee, my blood vanished from my body, and all I heard was Alfred's voice and my own heart in my ears. He mouthed the words, "Will you marry me?" and I think I died again. It is very possible I fainted from the lack of blood in my face. It had all drained to somewhere else in my body. It certainly wasn't in my head or chest because I couldn't think and I was having difficulty breathing.

Somehow, through all of this, I managed to speak. I stared at Alfred with a shaky breath, whispering just loudly enough for only Alfred to hear. "It's…not going to be all rainbows and sunshine…"

Alfred offered a small smile. "I know… But if we work together and…keep the music in our life, we can find those days where we can laugh and love and all that jazz."

God, I hope I wasn't crying. It sure felt it as I let an almost hysterical laugh escape my lips. "You promise…there will be jazz…?"

"Always," Alfred chuckled.

Could it be real? I had been so long without happiness, even when Alfred and I had first begun dating. We had hidden so much and then opened ourselves so fully that it was almost impossible to believe that we were really at the stage where it was okay. It was okay to wake up in the morning and know you hadn't spent the night alone. That every evening there was someone at home waiting for you and excited to see only you. That it was time to say it's okay, I want to show everyone you're it. For the rest of my life. Only you and always you. And one day, when there's no one left, we will still have each other.

"Yes."

* * *

* * *

_Hoshiko2_'s cents: So that's all I will write for this universe. There was the one-shot I put up last week for Valentine's Day, but nothing beyond this. I made sure to include a few loose ties I totally forgot to put in as well as showing the progression they've made. I wasn't going to hold out and explain everything, but you can see they've changed a lot.

The song they sang was from the first FST called "They Can't Take That Away From Me" and reminds me so much of those two singing. It's adorable and I highly recommend you hear it.

So to wrap everything up, I want to explain one last thing about this story. This story was meant to show progression of Arthur and Alfred as a unit. They changed so much together, but apart they were stagnant or changed in a way far more destructive than helpful. This was just a slice of life kind of story and the point I wanted to get across with telling it from a first person point of view was to keep Alfred's thought process a mystery, save for the few special chapters it showed his side. It was to get more involved in Arthur's head because, as a writer, I connect more with his personality so it was easier to do.

I'm starting a new series "Rainbow Veins", so please read it if you enjoyed this series. That one will be a lot sadder, but will feature our two favorite boys again. Thank you so much to everyone for sticking by me and reading everything and giving me the confidence to keep going. You guys are all seriously the best.


End file.
